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IrishMist -> RE: Intimacy (into me you see) (10/24/2014 12:11:37 PM)
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~another general reply~
I am actually finding this thread quite interesting for some reason.
I don't know if the OP's question was misunderstood by me, or generally misunderstood, or just not asked as coherently as it could have been. But, I am having a hard time digesting some of the responses.
I think...and only can guess at this unless the OP decides to come back and tell me different...but I think that the OP was referring to early conversations with Dominants, and the expectations that us 's' types answer every question in detail and indepth; displaying all the emotional baggage that comes with finding answers truthfully. And that is where my original response came from. That yes, I do think that the give and take of information should be equal in that if someone was to ask me why I like being beat with a fist; and I answered truthfully...that he/she should be willing to tell me why they like using their fists.
Give and take of information.
DS...and I am not picking on you, just using you since your answers seemed to disturb me the most [&:]
If I am understanding correctly, you are saying that me asking you something like that would be considered 'not answerable' because you would feel that it had no impact on the actual play itself ( being your reason for liking to use your fists)
...and I know that this is an extreme example, and anyone reading should know that it is hypothetical only...
But, should not information like that be shared mutually? Or do most Dominants feel that such a question asked of them is unnecessary?
DS made mention of something he learned of his girl years after they had been in a relationship. I don't see this as withholding information...but rather as something that, while needing to be shared, was painful enough that it took time for the trust to build to allow it to be said.
Many dominants don't realize that trust of this kind takes ALOT of time to come into being. It does not happen overnight, over a week, over a month...or even over a year. It takes a lot of time.
And this kind of holding back, on both the Dominant and the submissive side, is understandable.
But, the OP was asking about just general get to know you information. What do you like, what are your hobbies, what are your dreams, what are your goals, where do you see yourself 5 yrs from now, etc etc.
Dominants ask us these kinds of questions all the time, expecting that we will answer. Yet, if we ask the same of them, our questions are ignored, or told that they are unimportant.
That's where my response came from.
That I believe there should be an equal sharing of information between parties.
( and I know that this made no sense what-so-ever, but believe or not, I am trying to curb my instinct to rant and rave, and I think that DS's first response just touched a nerve that set off my 'rant and rave' radar)
[:@]
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