is there need to punish ?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

is there need to punish ?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> is there need to punish ?

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

is there need to punish ? - 7/12/2006 2:58:18 PM

online2nddegree

Posts: 9
Joined: 7/12/2006
Status: offline

my slave is well obedient and tries her best to serve me ... she just always obey me ....so is there any need to punish such slave . Can bdsm relation go for long term without punishment if slave is well obedient???

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: is there need to punish ? - 7/12/2006 4:56:56 PM

HouseofBear

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline

Why would you punish someone who had not done anything to offend? Now, if you both happen to enjoy corporal play, go for it! Just call it what it is, chuckles. One suggestion is to appreciate what you have and another is to talk with you slave and ask if he/she has a need for punishment (even if it is only role play punishment). Your partner in your relationship is the best one for feedback on whether something is wrong with your relationship.

Lady Ursa

(in reply to online2nddegree)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: is there need to punish ? - 7/12/2006 5:38:22 PM

Caretakr

Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: online2nddegree

my slave is well obedient and tries her best to serve me ... she just always obey me ....so is there any need to punish such slave . Can bdsm relation go for long term without punishment if slave is well obedient???

Some people are just sick, and use fiddly, made-up excuses to punish.

It's a way for someone insecure to puff up thier ego.

If there's no reason, there's no reason.

(in reply to online2nddegree)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: is there need to punish ? - 7/12/2006 5:39:47 PM

janiceleeinsc

Posts: 61
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline

My slave is very well behaved. I have punished him only twice in two years; however, he is a pain slut. So for him, we sceen for pure enjoyment.
I see nothing wrong with that. I am seeing some doms in my group over punish subs/slaves when they are really wanting to play. It confuses the sub, and they do not know what they are suppossed to do. I had one dom virtually whip a sub because she bought a collar for a play she was in. Go figure.

Respectfully,

Mistress_Jan

(in reply to HouseofBear)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: is there need to punish ? - 7/12/2006 7:23:06 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

Your question and your other post speaks to me of a person very new and really trying to figure some stuff out....but here in the forums i think you will get very confused and ultimately do yourself a disservice....here there are many differing opinions, a lot of harsh judgments and so many different styles of doing D/s...

There are some great books, that really give a good over view of all the aspects of the lifestyle from motivations, to using tools and toys properly and to developing skills.

I recommend reading a few books first because this thing we do is a very intense mental managerie...we as dominants are entrusted the care and well being of our submissives and even if it is only on line there is still a great connection there, and there is still the potential to inadvertently do harm.

Every one makes mistakes, but i think the type of damage one can do while in the charge of another multiples exponentially and having a good solid back round in some of the core principals will serve you more then you could know at this point.

I am a firm believer in books and mentors and any other help one can get as they come to this lifestyle, being a dominant is a skill and a discipline you are a steward, life coach, a teacher, a sensai, a therapist, a boss, a leader and a friend all in one....big jobs, big responsibility.

Most folks find learning on line to be a great way to play safe, to learn and explore and to grow in to the person they want be at their own pace....and i am all for that....but i think on forums there is so much contradicting and inaccurate information you would do better with a solid foundation.

I like sm 101, and screw the roses send me the thorns....both are invaluable books in my library.

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to janiceleeinsc)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: is there need to punish ? - 7/13/2006 8:40:18 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: online2nddegree

my slave is well obedient and tries her best to serve me ... she just always obey me ....so is there any need to punish such slave . Can bdsm relation go for long term without punishment if slave is well obedient???

How are you using the term punishment?

For me, a punishment is for misbehavior as one way to get the behavior to change. Personally I find positive feedback to be more valuable myself in this area.

However, you can do SM or bondage or anything else you like simply because you like it too. Or you can use it as a form of reminder of the status that you have agreed to. That would be up for the two of you to decide.

I'll hit Fox when I feel like and how I feel like it because I'm a sadist (who doesn't need a constant fix) and because he is my slave. It does remind us of our roles but frankly I do it cause I like it.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to online2nddegree)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: is there need to punish ? - 7/13/2006 10:15:41 AM

Flame73

Posts: 49
Joined: 7/6/2004
Status: offline

I also am lucky enough to have a fairly obedient slave boy, I have punished him only once in 8 months. I often give correction for minor infractions of My rules or preferences. But as mentioned above, My boy is a painslut. I have found that physical punishment would be wasted on him, so when I punish there is very little physical pain involved.
Now I often use pain in scenes because I am a Sadist and I enjoy the infliction of pain. My boy knows when it is simply coming from a desire to hear him cry out, rather than any transgression he may have made.
I think if a sub/slave is obedient and doesn't crave the taste of the lash now and again, then there would be no reason to punish them. Though I have found that some sub/slaves actually crave a certain amount of correction, a tightening of the reins , if you will. My boy often desires to be corrected for minor infractions because it gives him a renewed sense of being controlled. I am not saying he purposely misbehaves to recieve correction, I would not tolerate this. I am saying that when I mention a few small infactions, I am very exacting, and I deal correction, he always expresses an appreciation of this action.
Once again, just an opinion from My perspective.

~S~

_____________________________

"It's all a a question of mind over matter, if I don't mind then you don't matter."

"It is far more comfortable to exist in Madness, than to hold teniously to sanity riddled with doubts."

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: is there need to punish ? - 7/13/2006 1:09:25 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: online2nddegree

my slave is well obedient and tries her best to serve me ... she just always obey me ....so is there any need to punish such slave . Can bdsm relation go for long term without punishment if slave is well obedient???

ok well maybe its because I am leaving for vacation tomorrow, but I'm really seeing the "duh factor" here.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to online2nddegree)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: is there need to punish ? - 7/13/2006 1:50:35 PM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I'm sure that there must be a language barrier here.

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to MHOO314)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: is there need to punish ? - 7/13/2006 2:59:50 PM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: online2nddegree

my slave is well obedient and tries her best to serve me ... she just always obey me ....so is there any need to punish such slave . Can bdsm relation go for long term without punishment if slave is well obedient???

Well, do you wish for someone to hit, or for someone who will obey you? Or both?

You don't have to *punish* someone to hit them.

agirl

(in reply to online2nddegree)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: is there need to punish ? - 7/13/2006 3:22:24 PM

online2nddegree

Posts: 9
Joined: 7/12/2006
Status: offline

Are you an english teacher " your mistress " well i think other peoples can read as well as respond me .

(in reply to agirl)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: is there need to punish ? - 7/13/2006 3:58:35 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: online2nddegree

Are you an english teacher " your mistress " well i think other peoples can read as well as respond me .

She asked for clarification regarding your post---we all have the right to do that, as well as you---your post quite frankly is vague---so though we aren't English teachers, we aren't mind readers either---as a newbie here, perhaps using the search capabilities and reading other posts may help.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to online2nddegree)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: is there need to punish ? - 7/13/2006 4:01:35 PM

subedana

Posts: 100
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline

You would punish someone when there was nothing done wrong? For the life of me I can't understand why?
If your slave is a masochist or into humiliation play then do that, Play....
I love a good flogging, but I get one because I enjoy it if Jim chooses to give one to me. He doesn't punish me if I haven't done anything wrong. Geese.

(in reply to online2nddegree)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: is there need to punish ? - 7/13/2006 9:21:44 PM

MistrssM

Posts: 45
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

I only punished my last slave three times in 3 1/2 years.....and none of them involved pain....
The worst punishment for any slave is to be ignored...

I spanked him many times but never for punishment...

However to me there are "play" punisments... mostly during role play... the bad boy put in the corner with a red ass... those kinds of things...

but as a Mistress... I feel that if I truly need to really punish my slave... I am not doing my job right.... for although we all make mistakes.. he should not want to break my rules.. and my disappointment if he does if often punishment enough...

(in reply to subedana)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: is there need to punish ? - 7/13/2006 9:25:10 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear online2nddegree, Ladies and Gentlemen;

That would be a Master's/Mistress' dream - a obedient slave that doesn't need punishment.

If you don't want the slave, I'm sure a line of Masters will be happy to have that slave.

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to online2nddegree)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: is there need to punish ? - 7/19/2006 3:15:33 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

greetings to all

as a domme i have learn many things listening to many of you and others i just shook when i read the one where the girl had wore the collar and her foolish person who calls himself a dom whip her it made it ill, when read things like that i know for sure this person should never have his hands on a woman not even own a pet this person should own, the question was should he puinish her i say no if she is good and behave it would break her just your words can have the affect of knowing you in charge you lucky to have a sweet nature person as you slave. she should not be beaten she has gone nothing wrong so take care of this jewel you have and treasure her
mons

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: is there need to punish ? - 7/19/2006 6:52:45 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

I tend to agree with CrouchingTigress...the OP presents as very....well......naieve or not tuned into what BDSM is about. First, perhaps an understanding that punishment is for education or correction, and discipline is something entirely different. Discipline can simply be because the dominant can, or because the slave needs more structure, regimentation, or physical torment in one's life to build character.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: is there need to punish ? - 7/19/2006 6:54:13 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

quote:

ORIGINAL: online2nddegree

my slave is well obedient and tries her best to serve me ... she just always obey me ....so is there any need to punish such slave . Can bdsm relation go for long term without punishment if slave is well obedient???

The funny thing is that the OP struck me as being the same person as mayslave that posted another similar clueless post within the past few days, with the same typing and broken language.

ok well maybe its because I am leaving for vacation tomorrow, but I'm really seeing the "duh factor" here.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to MHOO314)

Profile

Post #: 18