RE: Some thoughts on long term relationships within BDSM (Full Version)

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YouName -> RE: Some thoughts on long term relationships within BDSM (10/27/2014 12:40:22 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

Is it just me or is anyone else struggling to understand this thread?


Fuck, yes! I drank a whole pot of coffee and still couldn't puzzle out WTF OP was getting at.

This convoluted mess is not, for the record, the way all switches think. Just this particular one.


LOL. Altho I'm youre everyday switch here mate. This Is conceptual the normal stuff I don't really have much to discuss about. Adventurous, lightly mischievous and interested in sensation play and light BDSM overall.




stef -> RE: Some thoughts on long term relationships within BDSM (10/27/2014 1:14:22 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: YouName

I am struggling too!

That was clear from the onset.



YouName -> RE: Some thoughts on long term relationships within BDSM (10/27/2014 1:27:12 PM)

Where there is no struggle there is no progress.
I try to position my mind at the edge of a cliff reaching out to someone on the other side to build me help me build a bridge in every serious thought I take.
As such I confuse myself on purpose so that I may force myself to learn.


You could call it a hobby.



ExiledTyrant -> RE: Some thoughts on long term relationships within BDSM (10/27/2014 1:44:50 PM)

Clearly you're on the adverse gravity side of said cliff.

Jus sayin



YouName -> RE: Some thoughts on long term relationships within BDSM (10/27/2014 1:47:55 PM)

I know I fall down from time to time. But I keep getting up =-) And since it ain't even breaking any bones I'm certainly getting stronger. Plus I'm an adrenaline junky.
How about you?

How's sitting behind the fence, with your opinion firmly fixed working out?

Ah, I'm assuming things now? Don't even dare.



ExiledTyrant -> RE: Some thoughts on long term relationships within BDSM (10/27/2014 1:52:41 PM)

It's working out peachy-keen. Naturally you would be skeptical, because you do not know me... Of which, you are a minority here. Although you seem shockingly like BenevolentM's sock puppet, that will reveal itself in time.

Jus sayin



YouName -> RE: Some thoughts on long term relationships within BDSM (10/27/2014 1:55:23 PM)

Then try to accept what you purport you want me to accept. That different outlooks on life can lead to purpose and thus fulfilment and let's leave it at that between us.



shiftyw -> RE: Some thoughts on long term relationships within BDSM (10/27/2014 2:03:59 PM)

YourName-

Let me consider it this way.

I'm a tiger, who likes my stripes just as is. I enjoy another tiger who admires and loves my stripes too.

You're a tiger who likes to dress up as a leopard on occasion. You enjoy other tigers who dress up as leopards.

Are we not reaching the same ends by different means?

I'm a pretty vocal token feminist sub. I have no quams about my place in the world. I don't see my affinity towards the sub side of things a demoralizing choice. I don't think it makes me a weaker person, or anything of the sort. Thats where you are going wrong.

And the assumption that every dynamic involves "training"- ours doesn't. I just like a solid paddling from time to time, and he is happy to oblige.
AND the assumption that every dynamic involves power exchange, D/s is false too.

Our end goal is happiness. Always.



HeartAndSoul31 -> RE: Some thoughts on long term relationships within BDSM (10/27/2014 2:04:50 PM)

I am not a sadist. I am not a masochist. I wanted a reward system with big stars and happy endings. Not humiliated nor degraded. That was toxic. I wanted equality by equal respect. Submitting to a superior and he rewarding me with healthy things just as compliments and dinner and maybe a sexual favor to for excitement. It was not equal, it was not fair, and it did not lAst.
Is this even close to what you are talking about? Lol.
Honestly isn't it just easier and healthier to be vanilla?
This thread us like living on a yellow submarine. I think I will come up for air now, my brain needs oxygen.



ExiledTyrant -> RE: Some thoughts on long term relationships within BDSM (10/27/2014 2:24:38 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: YouName

Then try to accept what you purport you want me to accept. That different outlooks on life can lead to purpose and thus fulfilment and let's leave it at that between us.


I don't want nor need you to accept anything, I just want you stop with your inane drivel. You've stated your opinion and that was fine and good. Rather than accepting feedback and allowing the thread to flow you've taken the inane antagonist approach.

Every answer you were looking for was in my first reply. I'm an over achiever, therefore I replied with a poly answer as well. Every answer you will get here will be the same answers I gave you, just more verbose. You're question as well as your personal point of view was summed up succinctly in my first and second response. Regardless of the longevity, or lack there of, in any relationship, my first answer, and second answer (as it applies) will always define the success of the relationship. Sans equality, it is doomed.

I suspect your ideal of equality exists in a pandantic realm and you lack the "relationship maturity" to understand equality in a relationship. I am a Primal Dominant male synergized by a submissive female chew toy~ yin and yang. Argue that all you wish, you will only succeed in proving that Abraham Lincoln was spot on.

Jus sayin



IrishMist -> RE: Some thoughts on long term relationships within BDSM (10/27/2014 2:26:19 PM)

quote:

You need not be concerned with offending anybody here on the fora, because a good many of us are offensive as it is, no matter who posts what.

Hey!
I resemble that remark.



ExiledTyrant -> RE: Some thoughts on long term relationships within BDSM (10/27/2014 2:28:23 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

You need not be concerned with offending anybody here on the fora, because a good many of us are offensive as it is, no matter who posts what.

Hey!
I resemble that remark.



It was a preemptive strike, Irish, she knew you would show up eventually.

Jus sayin



IrishMist -> RE: Some thoughts on long term relationships within BDSM (10/27/2014 2:32:14 PM)

quote:

It was a preemptive strike, Irish, she knew you would show up eventually.

Jus sayin

LOL
I read this thread yesterday when it was first posted...could not wade through the bullshit to actually figure out what the fuck was being asked or referred to.

Still can't.

/shrug

Since I am just a masochist, I guess it done don't matter. [:D]



Kaliko -> RE: Some thoughts on long term relationships within BDSM (10/27/2014 2:37:33 PM)

There is no reason to ever even consider equality when living in submission. I am serving. My service wouldn't end simply because I've reached a level of skill or knowledge or mental state or whatever.... In fact, it occurs to me that to do so would mean that I was in it just to get something out of it. And while probably everything we flawed humans do is self-serving in some way, this type of thing - ending or moving on when I have reached "equality" in some way - seems blatantly selfish and greedy.



YouName -> RE: Some thoughts on long term relationships within BDSM (10/27/2014 2:38:28 PM)

Irish

You're just the right person for this thread. Unlike Dwarf that just keeps getting depressed.



YouName -> RE: Some thoughts on long term relationships within BDSM (10/27/2014 2:40:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

There is no reason to ever even consider equality when living in submission. I am serving. My service wouldn't end simply because I've reached a level of skill or knowledge or mental state or whatever.... In fact, it occurs to me that to do so would mean that I was in it just to get something out of it. And while probably everything we flawed humans do is self-serving in some way, this type of thing - ending or moving on when I have reached "equality" in some way - seems blatantly selfish and greedy.



An interesting original thought that it is greedy and selfish. Why? Hasn't the other person gained anything during that time something?
And who says you should move on, why not he or even better both.

(Not even mentioning the possibility to stay together)



FieryOpal -> RE: Some thoughts on long term relationships within BDSM (10/27/2014 2:43:34 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

You need not be concerned with offending anybody here on the fora, because a good many of us are offensive as it is, no matter who posts what.

Hey!
I resemble that remark.


It was a preemptive strike, Irish, she knew you would show up eventually.

Jus sayin

Just for the record, folks, I am including myself in there as well. [sm=argue.gif] Gotta keep it real.

FYI Irish, that was one of my husband's favorite signature sayings. You're don't happen to be an Aries or another fire element zodiac sign, are you? [:)]
(Our anniversary would have been tomorrow, so I couldn't help but be reminded.)



mnottertail -> RE: Some thoughts on long term relationships within BDSM (10/27/2014 2:43:52 PM)

e.g.: Penitençagite

I pretty much don't give a fuck though, it is an example. Ergo-- id est (i.e.): exempli gratia (e.g). Pax vobiscum, motherfucker.

If the phone rings and its for me, I am not here.



Kaliko -> RE: Some thoughts on long term relationships within BDSM (10/27/2014 2:47:30 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: YouName

An interesting original thought that it is greedy and selfish. Why? Hasn't the other person gained anything during that time something?



Possibly, but I can only accurately talk about me. I am the one trying to live in submission. And let me clarify: I surely gain wonderful things. But to expect those gains to cause me to be equal, or to no longer live in submission, is what I consider to be selfish.

quote:


And who says you should move on, why not he?

(Not even mentioning the possibility to stay together)


Ah, that was my reading of the thread. I thought you were saying that the D/s relationship would cease to exist, in some way or another, if equality was achieved. I might have misunderstood that.



IrishMist -> RE: Some thoughts on long term relationships within BDSM (10/27/2014 2:47:46 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: YouName

Irish

You're just the right person for this thread. Unlike Dwarf that just keeps getting depressed.

I have a soft spot for depressed Dwarf's [:)]

and if you think I am the right person for this thread, perhaps you should do a little research. As I stated, I am a masochist...nothing submissive or slave like about me...I am in this for what I can get out of it, not for the other person.

On that note...your equality thinking...is a bunch of shit.

No one, and I don't care how much they argue otherwise...wants an EQUAL relationship with all the 'equal' rights and responsibilities that it entails.
But, if it makes them feel better to tell themselves that this is what they want...then more power to them. Whatever the fuck makes them happy.



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