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dcnovice -> DC Update: Silence, Steps, and Stems (10/27/2014 2:25:51 PM)
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October 27, 2014
Silence, Steps, and Stems
Dear Ones ---
It’s been nearly a month since my last update, and I apologize for being out of touch. Except, of course, to those who were relieved/grateful, in which case you’re welcome. [:)]
The main reason I haven’t written is that I’ve been pretty blah and worry that my downbeat updates are driving folks away. No one has said that, but it’s a fear of mine, based in part on my own tendency to shy away from negativity in others.
I’m still doing hyperbaric, and the sedatives seem to be doing the trick. I think I’m up to 27 successful sessions. Unfortunately, the wound still seems to be open, at least judging from the discharge. I’ll see the wound surgeon tomorrow afternoon and hear what she says. Part of what’s weighing on me is that she’d mentioned that I may need “another operation” if things don’t improve.
Being back at work, even part-time, has been a mixed blessing. It gets me out of the house and among people. But it also brings deadline stress and office politics, along with a round of musical desks that will require my dealing with five years’ worth of debris.
Depression, a longtime nemesis that seemed to be dormant or eclipsed during my medical misadventures, has returned, making everything more of a challenge.
I hate to end on a glum note, so I’ll share a story that made me chuckle and might entertain you too.
One day last week, I watched from my oxygen tank as the staff helped a woman who seemed to be a new patient. She was clearly having a rough ride, and the techs spent a good 30 minutes soothing her. Watching this, I had deep sympathy and a classic DCnovice thought: She needs flowers.
My own “dive” ended soon afterward, and the techs were startled by the speed with which I got up from the stretcher and out of the lab. I usually linger a bit, mustering strength and chatting. But that day, I had a mission. I marched the long distance (for me these days) to the gift shop, not noticing that I took no pauses to catch my breath or rest.
The selection wasn’t great, but I chose a basket and bought it. Then a question arose: How would the flowers get to my fellow “diver”? If I brought them myself, I feared, the subtext would be “See what a nice guy I am.” I wanted to leave her with more of a random kindness feeling. So I asked the gift shop folks to deliver the bouquet, as they’d done for me before. That led to an interesting exchange:
What’s the patient’s name?
Well actually, I don’t know.
You don’t know?
No.
Okay, what room is she in?
Hmm. She’s not really in a room.
Well then, where is she?
The hyperbaric lab. First tank on the right as you enter.
I’m sorry, but I don’t even know what the hyperbaric lab is, let alone where.
Oh well.
In the end, I hauled the flowers myself and discreetly took a tech aside to hand them off. The patient was still in her tank and didn’t see me.
“You should have seen how she smiled,” the tech said the next day. But I knew I didn’t need to.
Love and thanks to you all!
Cheers,
DC
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