FieryOpal
Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12
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I personally think the honour system is the only real long term way to do orgasm denial. The 'side effects' of any other system make it so impractical that you would have to be half insane to do it.
The way I see it, if I can't trust my sub's word of honor, and he has so little self-control, then what good is he to me? 
I have also heard it said that using chastity devices induces a greater level of submission.
Not relying upon a device, in my mind, is a better indicator to me of submission and devotion.
Abstinence when not in my presence (which is how I practice orgasm control) should be a willful decision, not something which is enforced by external means, IMO.
What I hear many younger male subs tell me is that they don't have the self-control to stop masturbating excessively. These are the ones who latch onto the fantasy aspect of being controlled.
The middle-aged divorced dudes, upon further conversation, usually reveal signs of porn addiction. Their fixation with chastity would appear to stem from a (feeble) attempt to curb their *sinful* and sexually obsessive thoughts. The irony is, that instead of thinking less about sex, chastity practices cause them to fixate upon sex all the more and to be further ruled by their genitals than they already were. Plus I've heard so many cheating stories about chastity Houdinis that it's absurd. 
What both of these age groups have in common is a cock-centric mentality where they seek control in the form of Female Domination. As if we have nothing better to do than to concern ourselves with the state of a man's dick all livelong day. 
I wonder, ItalianStallion, how many of those Domme profiles are of Keyholder Mistresses who charge fees. This is nothing short of a part-time job, and outside of a committed relationship, what woman would or could care less whether you remain chaste for her? If this extends beyond cyber, then there's milking involved. I heard of a few men who have become addicted to getting milked, in addition to getting addicted to being locked into chastity. Whether it's psychological or physiological, they begin to lose their erection responses. (Two guys I know don't concern themselves much because they were only allowed and only wanted to perform oral worship on their Mistresses as it was/is.)
Within a committed relationship there are two (predominantly male) sub fetishes which can develop into the dimension of a sexually charged dynamic, and both involve either a high degree of jealousy or possessiveness. This is chastity and cuckolding. As for the latter, some couples can handle these intense emotions, and others can't sustain whatever levels of mindfucks which take place within these lifestyle practices.
I read a Domme's blog once which described how keeping her husband in chastity was for the purpose of heightening sexual pleasure when they were together, NOT of diminishing it, after he had been subjected to Sexual Torment. (Like Humiliation dynamics, there are lighter elements of sado-masochism involved, which if not careful can turn into [non-consensual or risky forms of] mental cruelty.)
Bottom line, I'm not going to promote, instigate or collude with any activities which would risk damaging my partner's package and all of its working parts. 
... And the best advice I can give to men seeking this type of gratification is not to trust any woman who doesn't have an emotionally (and not financially) vested interest in truly owning your cock for her use, or else what does she have to lose? Score: Keyholder=Nothing; You=Everything
_____________________________
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau
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Are the side effects of chastity part of the appeal? - 
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