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FieryOpal -> RE: kind of a crossdresser (12/5/2014 5:41:00 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MyDarkstar
quote:
ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
Can I say this, and then you can narrow it down? Do you think part of your feeling that cross-dressing makes you feel more obedient have anything to do with a sexual humiliation fetish? Because it may be the humiliation fetish which motivates you.
It is most definitely the humiliation which motivates me. To me, it is a way for her to re-assert herself and her authority. She would be entertained by it and feel even stronger because it proves that she can get me to do anything, even sacrifice my dignity. She also enjoys it because it is a way for her to show how pathetic she regards me, and that the only reason she bothers to keep me around is simply to entertain herself. It's a trap, I will come to desire more humiliation because I know it is my only means to keep her interested, and so I know the more I feel the more she is interested.
Okay, I see. You are also into the degradation aspect of humiliation. Humiliation in itself does not automatically include degradation. Not all Dominants want to degrade their subs. In fact, I've heard Dominants say - and I can relate to this - they couldn't and wouldn't want to humiliate a sub they didn't respect. I should probably explain so as to not cause any confusion.
*Deep breath* The only way I could wrap my mind around sexually humiliating (but not with cross-dressing) my former husband, who wanted this, was because he could be arrogant and needed to learn a lesson or two in humility. On a regular basis. Without that critical element, I couldn't have pushed myself to do it. I also had another relationship where sexual humiliation (mentally & verbally, through name-calling) was involved. Physical actions included stuff like getting genitals shaved (while restrained), controlled and light face-slapping (more for the sting), hair and/or beard-pulling (for directional control), and a crossover from funishment with light spanking and ass play.
The point I was trying to get at is that there are other outlets, and cross-dressing is just one of them. For example, with spanking, the sub can be *made* to wear hot pink girly panties. In fact, this dynamic works best when the sub doesn't enjoy wearing the panties, what he's actually after is the humiliation in being made to wear them. Another example would be for the Mistress to have her sub match panty color. The fear of having it discovered at work (while using the urinal perhaps) by others that he is wearing a woman's thong or panties is part of the thrill, and there's that connection between Mistress and sub that they are wearing matching undergarments while they have to be apart.
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