I'm worried (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive



Message


BiancaRain -> I'm worried (10/30/2014 3:14:04 AM)

That I'm not enough for my Dom...




Miyani -> RE: I'm worried (10/30/2014 5:34:13 AM)

Have you told him that you're worried? That you feel like you're not enough? Have you asked if HE thinks you're enough, and what you can do to be better for him?

I think it's natural to wonder about whether our partner could do better. I'm not saying EVERYONE in the world does it, but I'm sure it's crossed most people's minds at some point. When you're invested in someone, you worry about losing them.




FieryOpal -> RE: I'm worried (10/30/2014 6:18:15 AM)

Can you go into more detail what you mean by this, Bianca?

Meanwhile, I am loving this paraphilia list of yours which I've lifted from your profile (hope you don't mind, also inserted more), and I've marked off what appeals and doesn't appeal to me: [color mine]

+ Ablutophilia - Baths or showers
+++ Acousticophilia - Aroused by sounds <music, a man's voice>
~ Actirasty - Exposure to the sun's rays <almost a plus>
+ Agonophilia - Pseudo-rape, pretend struggle or wrestling play as a form of foreplay <wrestling fetish>
- Agrexophilia - Excitement from knowing that others are aware of a persons sexual activities <form of exhibitionism?>
- Algolagnia/Algalagnia - Love of pain <Hard Limit>
+ Amaurophilia - Partner who is unable to see them during sex, blind/blindfolded sex partner
- Anophelorastia - Defiling or ravaging a partner <Soft-Hard Limit>
++ Aphephilia - Being touched <See Haptephilia>
-- Asthenolagnia - Weakness/being humiliated <Hard Limit>
++ Basorexia - “An overwhelming urge to neck or kiss” and also “a strong craving or hunger for kissing”
-- Claustrophilia - Being confined in a small space <Hard Limit>
- Crurophilia - Legs
-- Dacryphilia/Dacrylagnia - Causing tears or sobbing (achieved during masochism, dominance or torture) <Hard Limit>
- Fetishism - An inanimate object
--- Fisting - pretty easy to figure out <Hard Limit>
+ Gymnophilia - Nudity
-- Hamartophilia - Committing acts you consider to be sinful
+ Haptephilia - Becoming extremely aroused by being touched <See Aphephilia>
+ Hyphephilia - Touching skin, hair, leather, fur, or fabric/specific fabric (See Acomoclitic, Doraphilia, Gynelophilous, Hirsutophilia, Pubephilia, Trichophilia)
- Hypoxyphilia - Sexual arousal from the limiting or withholding of oxygen <Hard Limit>
-- Keraunophilia - Thunder and/or lightning <???>
- Kinesophilia - Exercise <meh>
~ Knismolagnia - Being tickled <doing the tickling>
~ Knissophilia - Incense <can take it or leave it>
--- Kopophilia - Exhaustion <WTF?>
--- Masochism - Being dominated/humiliated <Hard Limit; Wouldn't this be enjoying the sensation of pain?>
--- Mastigophilia - Punishment <Hard Limit mine; Discipline or Correction for partner>
--- Megalophilia - Large objects <w/one exception, but not a size queen>
~ Merinthophilia - Being bound <Soft Limit mine; into using restraints, not rope bondage--See Vincilagnia>
+ Metophilia - Another person's face
++ Metrophilia - Poetry
+++ Narratophilia - Discussing sex with others
~ Neophilia - Anything new <depends>
+ Nyctophilia - Darkness or night <I'm a night owl & love candlelight.>
+ Odaxelagnia - Biting/being bitten <lightly, no breaking of skin>
+ Ozolagnia - Powerful scents <depends>
~ Partialism - Specific parts of the body <maybe>
--- Phobophilia - Fear/hate <Hard Limit>
- Podophilia - Feet <not into foot fetishes>
~ Psychrocism - Cold/ice <Hate the cold, but will do ice play w/wax play.>
+++ Pygophilia - Contact with the buttocks
+ Pyrolagnia - Watching fire <in a fireplace, bonfires are okay>
--- Sadism - Enjoying inflicting pain/humiliation <Hard Limit in general>
+ Somnophilia - Fondling a stranger in their sleep <only my partner, nobody else>
-- Stigmatophilia - Marking one's own body/inserting foreign objects into it
+++ Tantalolagnia - Teasing
- Transformation fetish - Depictions of transformations of people into objects/other beings
++ Vicarphilia - Hearing stories about other people's lives
- Vincilagnia - Being tied up <Soft-Hard Limit--See Merinthophilia>

[Edited Somnophilia]




luxey2511 -> RE: I'm worried (10/30/2014 7:02:28 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BiancaRain

That I'm not enough for my Dom...

why? have you told him?




DarkSteven -> RE: I'm worried (10/30/2014 7:13:29 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BiancaRain

That I'm not enough for my Dom...


No context. Has he said or done anything to make you think that? Is it coming from previous relationships? Has he introduced poly and you're comparing yourself to the other woman?




InHisHeart -> RE: I'm worried (10/31/2014 6:02:04 PM)

Why worry about it, just ask him.







FieryOpal -> RE: I'm worried (10/31/2014 7:38:14 PM)

You don't feel that you're "not enough" woman? "not enough" of a submissive?
Has your Dom indicated that he wants to get with another woman or else include one in your playtime together?
Do you suspect that your Dom is seeing someone else, sneaking around or cheating on you?

If we're having this much difficulty getting a straight answer from you, dear, then perhaps the real problem is one of miscommunication.

Off topic (while we wait for OP to get back to us), but I have another paraphilia to add to the list:

Capnolagnia - Smoking fetish




Kaliko -> RE: I'm worried (11/2/2014 6:34:52 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BiancaRain

That I'm not enough for my Dom...



From the limited information, this is my response:

In my opinion, the joy of trusting in someone enough to call him your Master is feeling secure in turning these types of concerns over to him. Are you doing your best? Are you being honest? Then let him worry about whether you are enough. Trust in him to tell you if you aren't. And then, let it go. I believe that the best part of any relationship (D/s or otherwise) is that giant, exhilarating, leap of faith and trust to let down your defenses and then learning to simply float in that security without constantly looking for a life raft. And if you haven't done that, then you are holding yourself back from him. Maybe that's okay with you and with him, but for someone I would call "Master," holding myself back from trusting him is the exact opposite of my submission.

You're feeling insecure. Feelings are unreliable and, at their worst, can end in a self-fulfilling prophecy. Let go.

(Or not. Totally dependent on more information. :)




InSilence -> RE: I'm worried (11/20/2014 7:28:56 PM)

OMG !! why use all those huge words for something understandable in "plain English?


quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Can you go into more detail what you mean by this, Bianca?

Meanwhile, I am loving this paraphilia list of yours which I've lifted from your profile (hope you don't mind, also inserted more), and I've marked off what appeals and doesn't appeal to me: [color mine]

+ Ablutophilia - Baths or showers
+++ Acousticophilia - Aroused by sounds <music, a man's voice>
~ Actirasty - Exposure to the sun's rays <almost a plus>
+ Agonophilia - Pseudo-rape, pretend struggle or wrestling play as a form of foreplay <wrestling fetish>
- Agrexophilia - Excitement from knowing that others are aware of a persons sexual activities <form of exhibitionism?>
- Algolagnia/Algalagnia - Love of pain <Hard Limit>
+ Amaurophilia - Partner who is unable to see them during sex, blind/blindfolded sex partner
- Anophelorastia - Defiling or ravaging a partner <Soft-Hard Limit>
++ Aphephilia - Being touched <See Haptephilia>
-- Asthenolagnia - Weakness/being humiliated <Hard Limit>
++ Basorexia - “An overwhelming urge to neck or kiss” and also “a strong craving or hunger for kissing”
-- Claustrophilia - Being confined in a small space <Hard Limit>
- Crurophilia - Legs
-- Dacryphilia/Dacrylagnia - Causing tears or sobbing (achieved during masochism, dominance or torture) <Hard Limit>
- Fetishism - An inanimate object
--- Fisting - pretty easy to figure out <Hard Limit>
+ Gymnophilia - Nudity
-- Hamartophilia - Committing acts you consider to be sinful
+ Haptephilia - Becoming extremely aroused by being touched <See Aphephilia>
+ Hyphephilia - Touching skin, hair, leather, fur, or fabric/specific fabric (See Acomoclitic, Doraphilia, Gynelophilous, Hirsutophilia, Pubephilia, Trichophilia)
- Hypoxyphilia - Sexual arousal from the limiting or withholding of oxygen <Hard Limit>
-- Keraunophilia - Thunder and/or lightning <???>
- Kinesophilia - Exercise <meh>
~ Knismolagnia - Being tickled <doing the tickling>
~ Knissophilia - Incense <can take it or leave it>
--- Kopophilia - Exhaustion <WTF?>
--- Masochism - Being dominated/humiliated <Hard Limit; Wouldn't this be enjoying the sensation of pain?>
--- Mastigophilia - Punishment <Hard Limit mine; Discipline or Correction for partner>
--- Megalophilia - Large objects <w/one exception, but not a size queen>
~ Merinthophilia - Being bound <Soft Limit mine; into using restraints, not rope bondage--See Vincilagnia>
+ Metophilia - Another person's face
++ Metrophilia - Poetry
+++ Narratophilia - Discussing sex with others
~ Neophilia - Anything new <depends>
+ Nyctophilia - Darkness or night <I'm a night owl & love candlelight.>
+ Odaxelagnia - Biting/being bitten <lightly, no breaking of skin>
+ Ozolagnia - Powerful scents <depends>
~ Partialism - Specific parts of the body <maybe>
--- Phobophilia - Fear/hate <Hard Limit>
- Podophilia - Feet <not into foot fetishes>
~ Psychrocism - Cold/ice <Hate the cold, but will do ice play w/wax play.>
+++ Pygophilia - Contact with the buttocks
+ Pyrolagnia - Watching fire <in a fireplace, bonfires are okay>
--- Sadism - Enjoying inflicting pain/humiliation <Hard Limit in general>
+ Somnophilia - Fondling a stranger in their sleep <only my partner, nobody else>
-- Stigmatophilia - Marking one's own body/inserting foreign objects into it
+++ Tantalolagnia - Teasing
- Transformation fetish - Depictions of transformations of people into objects/other beings
++ Vicarphilia - Hearing stories about other people's lives
- Vincilagnia - Being tied up <Soft-Hard Limit--See Merinthophilia>

[Edited Somnophilia]





camille65 -> RE: I'm worried (11/20/2014 7:34:02 PM)

I like precision in language, you might say I've a thing for words. Not quite to fetish level, yet.

Bring on the verbiage! Be loquacious!




Gauge -> RE: I'm worried (11/20/2014 7:40:32 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: InSilence

OMG !! why use all those huge words for something understandable in "plain English?



That is plain English. They are not necessarily simple definitions or their entomology may be a bit suspect, but English it is.




ivone57 -> RE: I'm worried (11/30/2014 1:55:04 PM)

talk to him, ask him what he expects from you as his submissive, communication is vital there are also negotiations on whats expected of you and such




ResidentSadist -> RE: I'm worried (12/1/2014 12:08:07 AM)

It's not your job to judge if you are enough, it's your Dom's job. Stop trying to do his job and you'll be fine.




GotSteel -> RE: I'm worried (12/1/2014 5:18:10 AM)

Welcome to the forums, without explaining your situation we can't really judge so you're just going to get various posters assumptions in response.




Gauge -> RE: I'm worried (12/1/2014 7:34:39 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

That is plain English. They are not necessarily simple definitions or their entomology may be a bit suspect, but English it is.


I am an idiot. I wrote the wrong word for words origins. Ironic, isn't it? I meant etymology.

I am now going to hide in a corner and suck my thumb.




ExiledTyrant -> RE: I'm worried (12/1/2014 7:40:49 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge


quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

That is plain English. They are not necessarily simple definitions or their entomology may be a bit suspect, but English it is.


I am an idiot. I wrote the wrong word for words origins. Ironic, isn't it? I meant etymology.

I am now going to hide in a corner and suck my thumb.



What do you mean, you fucking cockroach?

Tony Montoya




Gauge -> RE: I'm worried (12/1/2014 7:42:47 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

What do you mean, you fucking cockroach?

Tony Montoya



Bitch please. I'm the best cockroach.





ExiledTyrant -> RE: I'm worried (12/1/2014 7:45:18 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

What do you mean, you fucking cockroach?

Tony Montoya



Bitch please. I'm the best cockroach.



Well then... I sit corrected. Continue the entomological analysis of slave/drones and D'bees.




Gauge -> RE: I'm worried (12/1/2014 7:46:11 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Well then... I sit corrected. Continue the entomological analysis of slave/drones and D'bees.



It's on.




Page: [1]

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875