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AAkasha -> RE: Energy Vampires (10/31/2014 2:09:53 PM)
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Great examples so far. Especially as they relate to the vanilla world.
In the BDSM world, I find there are submissive types that fit into the category that are quite elusive and may not know they are being this way. They may view themselves as the most selfless people in the world.
What is draining to the femdom in the emotional sense are things like :
* the endless hints of, "am I doing ok? what do you need? what more do you want?" -- a little is ok - when it is excessive, this is seeking more orders or domination, or seeking affirmation and attention and it is exhausting. It's attention seeking.
* the dropping of hints about desires and fetishes and wants - especially when 'playtime' is ending, as signaled by the femdom. These "helpful suggestions" are best left for open discussion about desires and fantasies, not when the femdom is packing up her toolbox or has just had an orgasm. Learn timing and empathy. It is not all about you.
* Sulking, passive aggressive communication, hint dropping, or any non-direction communication - just stop. Don't do it. it's bullshit and belongs in high school. Subs do this way too much. They put "protocol" (that is in their head or in their fantasy) ABOVE direct communication and that often leads to miscues and confusion. So much "Well, I thought that...." -- If I had a nickle for every time there was a dispute over that phrase. Look, use direct communication, but be respectful. Plain and simple. Do not create work for your femdom prospect and/or lover or partner.
Akasha
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