Can you clarify the distinction between serving and servicing (and being serviced)?

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Can you clarify the distinction between serving and servicing (and being serviced)?

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Can you clarify the distinction between serving and ser... - 11/8/2014 6:02:24 AM

crumpets

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Would those who understand such things kindly clarify the (what they feel is the) difference between the differences between serving and servicing and being serviced.

Someone wrote that most subs just want to be serviced, but, I feel it's the Top who needs to be serviced.

Can you clarify?

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RE: Can you clarify the distinction between serving and... - 11/8/2014 6:39:12 AM

shiftyw

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Can't a dictionary do this?

If you're serving, you are catering to someone, doing as they wish.
If you are servicing someone in this context you are providing sexual favors, doing as they wish.
If you are being serviced, you're getting the sexual favors.

Most subs pick a Dom whose expectations match those of their fantasies so that they can be be mutually satisfied and the Dom does not end up catering to the subs fantasies. A sub is a person they need to be fufilled too, the best way to assure that everyone is happy is to make sure you are compatible.

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RE: Can you clarify the distinction between serving and... - 11/8/2014 7:52:26 AM

FieryOpal

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^What she said^

The person who wrote that 'subs just want to be serviced' may have meant that (some) subs want their kinks & fetishes catered to, or to provide service the way that they see fit instead of attending to the Dominant's needs. I'm not sure in what context this was stated, whether it was straightforward or tinged with irony.

When you say Top, you should keep in mind that in terms of active/receptive, it is the Top who gives or who performs the action, and the bottom who receives. Top & bottom have to do with BDSM activities, not D/s.
Top does not equate to Dominant, nor does bottom to submissive. It usually does, but they are not correlating equivalents.
For example, with Oral Worship. The Dominant receives. Technically, s/he is the bottom during the act since it is the sub who is acting as the giver or Top, if you want to look at it that way.
A foot fetishist acts as giver. It isn't the active party who is Dominant. The one who is in charge of and who controls the scene is the Dominant. The one who defers and accepts his or her Master's or Mistress's authority is the s-type (submissive, slave).

Does this help any for clarification purposes?

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RE: Can you clarify the distinction between serving and... - 11/8/2014 12:42:36 PM

crumpets

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Someone wrote the following, regarding the distinction above.......

quote:

Mmmmmm ... no To serve.. to dedicate itself to its accountability as slave ...to its Owner ....its perspective Owner ....as an unclaimed for the purpose of serving Her FemLead agenda To service to be unaccountable to anyone other than its own agenda and using whatever tactic necessary to get its way

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RE: Can you clarify the distinction between serving and... - 11/8/2014 1:11:09 PM

shiftyw

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That's over the top, for my taste at least, but yes, use the definitions I stated above and they will align with that.

Or you could ask her..

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RE: Can you clarify the distinction between serving and... - 11/9/2014 12:06:54 AM

crumpets

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quote:

ORIGINAL: shifty
Or you could ask her..

I did.
That was her response.
:)

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RE: Can you clarify the distinction between serving and... - 11/9/2014 10:02:11 AM

FieryOpal

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

Someone wrote the following, regarding the distinction above.......

quote:

Mmmmmm ... no To serve.. to dedicate itself to its accountability as slave ...to its Owner ....its perspective Owner ....as an unclaimed for the purpose of serving Her FemLead agenda To service to be unaccountable to anyone other than its own agenda and using whatever tactic necessary to get its way

First of all, any Dominant who is going to refer to an s-type as an "it" is a red flag right there.

I don't see where this high-protocol Domme is stating "most subs just want to be serviced" per your OP. What she is saying sounds like an arcane version of English as a second/third/fourth language to me.

She talks about her FemLed agenda,
she seems to be implying that once owned you would be accountable only to her (d-uh),
that <starting to get confused> you are not to have your own agenda,
and "using whatever tactic necessary to get its way" means don't Top from the bottom.
The fact that she doesn't know how to clearly express the above tells me that this is an inexperienced wannabe Domme.

Ignore. This person is playing on-line games with male submissives. Go onto the next Domme, and use your common sense.

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RE: Can you clarify the distinction between serving and... - 11/11/2014 3:04:21 AM

NookieNotes

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I have to second FieryOpal. That makes no sense. She did a much better job of parsing that gobbletygook than I did, or even wanted to.

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RE: Can you clarify the distinction between serving and... - 11/11/2014 3:40:28 AM

crazyml

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

Someone wrote the following, regarding the distinction above.......

quote:

Mmmmmm ... no To serve.. to dedicate itself to its accountability as slave ...to its Owner ....its perspective Owner ....as an unclaimed for the purpose of serving Her FemLead agenda To service to be unaccountable to anyone other than its own agenda and using whatever tactic necessary to get its way

Hmm... Well that someone plainly babbles a lot.

To the op..

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

Would those who understand such things kindly clarify the (what they feel is the) difference between the differences between serving and servicing and being serviced.

I think that the distinction that has already been made pretty much covers it.

But I would like to add a slight nuance...

Serving is an ongoing activity, it helps define the dynamic.

Servicing seems to be the meeting of a more immediate (usually sexual) need.

quote:

Someone wrote that most subs just want to be serviced, but, I feel it's the Top who needs to be serviced.

Can you clarify?

Oh this is easy.. there are a lot of subs (I don't know if it's "most", but it could be) who have submissive needs that they want someone else to satisfy or "service". Essentially they're not interested in "serving" - they have a specific itch (to be spanked, to be pantied, to be pissed on) that they want someone else to satisfy.

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RE: Can you clarify the distinction between serving and... - 11/11/2014 12:53:19 PM

Gauge

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

Would those who understand such things kindly clarify the (what they feel is the) difference between the differences between serving and servicing and being serviced.

Someone wrote that most subs just want to be serviced, but, I feel it's the Top who needs to be serviced.

Can you clarify?

The difference is what it means to you and your partner. While we can give you book definitions, one size does not fit all, nor should it.

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