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Do you get the thrill only when doing the service for s... - 11/11/2014 4:39:31 AM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline 		Do you get a thrill washing dishes home, alone, perhaps naked, perhaps wearing a collar and cock cage?
I don't.

Do you get a thrill at Her house, washing her dishes at her request, while she is watching you and punishing you when/if you err?
I do.

Why?
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RE: Do you get the thrill only when doing the service f... - 11/11/2014 5:36:56 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline 		Not everyone has a punishment dynamic. Some of us talk it out instead.

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RE: Do you get the thrill only when doing the service f... - 11/11/2014 8:05:28 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

Do you get a thrill washing dishes home, alone, perhaps naked, perhaps wearing a collar and cock cage?
I don't.

Do you get a thrill at Her house, washing her dishes at her request, while she is watching you and punishing you when/if you err?
I do.

Why?

There are submissives who get into this sort of thing. On the sexuality spectrum, which may or may not include D/s or BDSM, there are exhibitionists. The Dominant in this non-sexual service arrangement may or may not be voyeuristic or motivated by voyeurism, but in the exhibitionist's fantasy world, he entertains the notion that the Dominant will find his actions and/or scantily clad appearance arousing. In other instances, the service sub is acting out his fetish and may hope that by doing a good job, he will get rewarded by the Dominant by getting (BDSM) Topped or allowed to perform oral worship. I have had bondage bottoms and fetishists offer to come clean my house or do yardwork, which I systematically decline. I'm not into getting chores done for free by a sub whom I would otherwise not want or choose as a dating partner, much less grant access to my home to a total stranger on an informal, unprofessional basis apart from his vanilla occupation.

ETA: If you mean while you're already in a D/s relationship, and this is for your Mistress, I would assume that going about the house naked or half-naked is for both of your benefits and part of the personal D/s protocol you both have chosen to observe in your daily routine. If your Mistress wants you dressed a certain way or to remain in a state of undress, and this is not an issue for you or one of your Hard or Soft Limits, then why wouldn't you want to accommodate her wishes and derive pleasure from doing so?

You also want to know if others also get a thrill out of having a punishment dynamic. Like s4ms mentioned, many couples don't have a punishment dynamic. I don't. I would much rather encourage good behavior by rewarding it. If it's the funishment you enjoy, then that is part of play, separate from administering discipline for correction purposes.

< Message edited by FieryOpal -- 11/11/2014 8:27:59 AM >

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RE: Do you get the thrill only when doing the service f... - 11/11/2014 9:26:07 AM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

Not everyone has a punishment dynamic. Some of us talk it out instead.

That's an interesting comment, because it made me cock my head, and wonder ...
I had not thought that others DON'T get a thrill out of being corrected, as a quick slap or curt word would do.

So, you say some of you do NOT spank or hit with the crop or bark out a curt correction like we see all the time we do with dogs?

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RE: Do you get the thrill only when doing the service f... - 11/11/2014 9:31:46 AM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
The Dominant in this non-sexual service arrangement may or may not be voyeuristic or motivated by voyeurism, but in the exhibitionist's fantasy world, he entertains the notion that the Dominant will find his actions and/or scantily clad appearance arousing.


This is true, although I'd substitute either 'amusing' or 'pleasing' for the word arousing, as I don't think many woman are literally aroused by naked men, at least not in the same way men are when in the presence of naked women.
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
In other instances, the service sub is acting out his fetish and may hope that by doing a good job, he will get rewarded by the Dominant by getting (BDSM) Topped or allowed to perform oral worship.

This is the most complex part of the dynamic, to me, to understand, simply because what you say is true, in a sense. I, for one, relish the privilege of performing oral worship - yet - I feel (or felt) that this was about pleasing her. Yet I love to do it, if it pleases her, which it's supposed to do, even if it's with a dildo strap in my mouth and my neck hurts from the thrusting.
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
Like s4ms mentioned, many couples don't have a punishment dynamic. I don't.

This is news to me, so, it's of importance that I understand that not all women enjoy punishing the submissive.

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RE: Do you get the thrill only when doing the service f... - 11/11/2014 9:31:52 AM   
InHisHeart


Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

Do you get a thrill washing dishes home, alone, perhaps naked, perhaps wearing a collar and cock cage?
I don't.

Do you get a thrill at Her house, washing her dishes at her request, while she is watching you and punishing you when/if you err?
I do.

Why?


I don't have a cock so I don't wear a cock cage. :)

I spend a lot of time in the house naked, I just love being naked. It's not a thrill for me, I just like naked.

If he orders me to spend the day naked, it's arousing to me because it's one of the ways he likes to tease and keep me on an all day sexual high, keeps me on edge never knowing when, where or how he's going to just take me or if he is going to take me.

We do have a discipline dynamic although I'm very rarely disciplined. The only time I am disciplined is when I've broken a rule that I am fully aware of which is extremely rare for me to do. No, I do not get thrilled or aroused by it. I don't like being disciplined, I'm disappointed with myself that I did something that disappointed him enough to cause him to discipline me.

If being disciplined gave me a thrill, would it be discipline?



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RE: Do you get the thrill only when doing the service f... - 11/11/2014 11:58:09 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If I was getting funished for missing a spot, that's play. It's a lot different than me just washing the floor because it's dirty.

But I'm not service oriented. I'm primarily about the emotional transparency, with a minor in getting ordered. But no service drive.

If you aren't service oriented and she wants someone who is, then you need to talk about this. Because you're not going to magically change and neither is she.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Do you get the thrill only when doing the service f... - 11/11/2014 1:16:17 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets


quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

Not everyone has a punishment dynamic. Some of us talk it out instead.

That's an interesting comment, because it made me cock my head, and wonder ...
I had not thought that others DON'T get a thrill out of being corrected, as a quick slap or curt word would do.

So, you say some of you do NOT spank or hit with the crop or bark out a curt correction like we see all the time we do with dogs?



Master has never hit me except during bedroom play, never on the face, and he has never raised his voice to me in anger with me. He has raised his voice in regards to venting about another (such as if he was in the hospital and didn't feel the nurses were performing to the best of their ability).

We've been together almost three and a half years and will marry before the end of summer most likely. It depends on my cancer treatment.

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Do you get the thrill only when doing the service f... - 11/11/2014 3:26:47 PM   
InHisHeart


Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets


quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

Not everyone has a punishment dynamic. Some of us talk it out instead.

That's an interesting comment, because it made me cock my head, and wonder ...
I had not thought that others DON'T get a thrill out of being corrected, as a quick slap or curt word would do.

So, you say some of you do NOT spank or hit with the crop or bark out a curt correction like we see all the time we do with dogs?


It's extremely rare when I'm disciplined, there's not a need for it. When I am disciplined, he never uses corporal punishment on me. Flogging, spanking, riding crops, etc. are all things I enjoy and they're used in play, not for discipline. He never uses the same thing, tool or action for discipline that he uses on me for play. He enjoys cooking, I don't like cooking at all so he does most of the cooking. Discipline for me is something I don't like and will try to avoid. Making me cook dinner is one form of discipline he uses. He'll decide what he wants me to cook and it's never anything quick and simple, it will be a full course meal and something that will take hours to prepare.


_____________________________

I don't have a bucket list but my fucket list is a mile long.

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.


(in reply to crumpets)
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RE: Do you get the thrill only when doing the service f... - 11/11/2014 5:54:25 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

Do you get a thrill washing dishes home, alone, perhaps naked, perhaps wearing a collar and cock cage?




Yes.

(Minus the cock cage, of course.)

quote:




Do you get a thrill at Her house, washing her dishes at her request, while she is watching you and punishing you when/if you err?
I do.

Why?


Personally, I enjoy anything more if I'm doing it for someone else. I have more motivation, I'm more energetic, and I have higher standards of completion when something is done for someone else than for myself. That goes for anyone in my life, D/s or otherwise. Everything has just a little bit more kick to it (a thrill, I suppose) if it's done to meet someone else's expectations or hopes. And since he comes first, he is the person whose expectations I most strive to meet. So yes, there is an associated thrill, but not because he's watching me and waiting for me to fuck up so he can punish me. Kind of the opposite, actually - so he can be proud of me and what I'm doing.




(in reply to crumpets)
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RE: Do you get the thrill only when doing the service f... - 11/12/2014 6:22:56 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		I get a thrill out of doing things for women. If they need their dishes done then that's what I do. I don't require supervision nor do I have any desire to be naked while I do it. If she didn't trust me to do a good job then she shouldn't have asked me to do it in the first place. And I should probably explain that when I say I get a 'thrill' I don't mean sexually. Even when I was doing dishes for my lover it was still only dishes.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Do you get the thrill only when doing the service f... - 11/12/2014 6:25:38 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		When I hooked up with my first Mistress, we tried the doing housework naked thing. It didn't take long to find how impractical it really was in real life.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Do you get the thrill only when doing the service f... - 11/12/2014 6:32:38 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
The Dominant in this non-sexual service arrangement may or may not be voyeuristic or motivated by voyeurism, but in the exhibitionist's fantasy world, he entertains the notion that the Dominant will find his actions and/or scantily clad appearance arousing.


This is true, although I'd substitute either 'amusing' or 'pleasing' for the word arousing, as I don't think many woman are literally aroused by naked men, at least not in the same way men are when in the presence of naked women.


You are probably right about that.

quote:



quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
In other instances, the service sub is acting out his fetish and may hope that by doing a good job, he will get rewarded by the Dominant by getting (BDSM) Topped or allowed to perform oral worship.

This is the most complex part of the dynamic, to me, to understand, simply because what you say is true, in a sense. I, for one, relish the privilege of performing oral worship - yet - I feel (or felt) that this was about pleasing her. Yet I love to do it, if it pleases her, which it's supposed to do, even if it's with a dildo strap in my mouth and my neck hurts from the thrusting.

Most straight men like to eat pussy. Trying to claim you are doing this only to please her sounds like a line of bullshit to me.


quote:


quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
Like s4ms mentioned, many couples don't have a punishment dynamic. I don't.

This is news to me, so, it's of importance that I understand that not all women enjoy punishing the submissive.


It is important if you want to see the world as it really is.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Do you get the thrill only when doing the service f... - 11/12/2014 7:46:47 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
That's an interesting comment, because it made me cock my head, and wonder ...
I had not thought that others DON'T get a thrill out of being corrected, as a quick slap or curt word would do.

So, you say some of you do NOT spank or hit with the crop or bark out a curt correction like we see all the time we do with dogs?


Not only do we not do punishment for people, we don't do it for the animals either.
I've always found positive reinforcement to be much more successful. With my dogs and the horses and certainly for child raising. And being told when I do things right instead of being ignored and then only the wrong things focused on works a hell of a lot better.

When the only attention is what I've done wrong, I eventually give up trying, because I will believe that I never do anything right, and therefore why should I try anymore. Noticing all the things I do right, that he enjoys, inspires me.

Or do you prefer a boss who never tells you he appreciates the extra effort you went to in order to get something done and prefer one who only talks to you to tell you the mistakes you've made?


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Do you get the thrill only when doing the service f... - 11/14/2014 9:57:39 PM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

When I hooked up with my first Mistress, we tried the doing housework naked thing. It didn't take long to find how impractical it really was in real life.


I dunno. Seems to feel sexy to scrub the floors with your balls hanging and swinging to and fro...

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Profile   Post #: 15
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