How is the community structured?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

How is the community structured?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> How is the community structured?

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

How is the community structured? - 11/15/2014 10:15:56 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

A friend told me she got the following questions from a kink-curious vanilla: How is the community structured? And who are the leaders?

I'm still thinking about it, and would appreciate your insights.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: How is the community structured? - 11/15/2014 10:33:29 AM

NookieNotes

Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

In my experience, the community is structured just like any other. Join any meetup group and you will see.

The leaders are often set forth as the people who will organize things. As the group grows and takes on a life of it's own, the leadership shuffles.

Some who were unwilling before become willing, either through disgust with the current leadership, more experience, or seeing how it's done and simply being willing.

Those who "lead" from the sidelines, providing sense, stability, and other emotional values also get their leadership places, often without full acknowledgement, but often with full political support in the times when it may be wielded.

In my opinion, the BDSM community is just like any other human group, no better, no worse. Bad leadership creates stinky groups. Good leadership, magical groups with family-like comaraderie.

Unless you meant something else?

_____________________________

Nookie
--
https://datingkinky.com

I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: How is the community structured? - 11/15/2014 10:49:01 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

A friend told me she got the following questions from a kink-curious vanilla: How is the community structured? And who are the leaders?

I'm still thinking about it, and would appreciate your insights.

I am going to agree with NookieNotes. There is really and truly no distinction between ordinary "communities" and kink "communities."

The structure is based on who is willing to do things to foster the community and propel it along. The only real distinction that the kink community may have over the ordinary one might be that the ones leading it are probably more likely to be dominant in nature... although, to a degree, that is a generalization.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: How is the community structured? - 11/15/2014 10:58:44 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Interesting takes.

My answer had been that there were nodes about certain things - venues, munches, play parties, Fet groups, etc., that developed a somewhat stable group of kinksters. Superimposed upon that were individual relationships.

The nodes had leaders associated with them, and the individual relationships did not.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Gauge)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: How is the community structured? - 11/15/2014 11:08:49 AM

Bhruic

Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

A friend told me she got the following questions from a kink-curious vanilla: How is the community structured? And who are the leaders?

I'm still thinking about it, and would appreciate your insights.

I think you could say that the community is divided in to three possible groups:

1. Real life groups, involved in clubs, munches, play parties and other various social, and educational events
2. On-line groups, that both play, and interact as a community on-line
3. Real life individuals or isolated groups, who are aware of but minimally interact with the other groups.

People can be involved in one or all of these groups to a varying degree. As an unstructured community there are no official "leaders" per se, but those in groups 1 and 2 who are the most vocal or participatory, or who take a leadership role in planning events or disseminating educational information tend to viewed with respect as leaders.

One possible explanation for someone looking in from outside.

< Message edited by Bhruic -- 11/15/2014 11:10:20 AM >

_____________________________

pronounced "VROOick"

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: How is the community structured? - 11/15/2014 11:14:14 AM

NookieNotes

Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

My answer had been that there were nodes about certain things - venues, munches, play parties, Fet groups, etc., that developed a somewhat stable group of kinksters. Superimposed upon that were individual relationships.

The nodes had leaders associated with them, and the individual relationships did not.

Yes, that's true. But like anything else, how those leaders come about is usually first on who is willing to (for example) actually plan, promote, and host a munch.

From there, the group either dies out, or leaderships changes based on the same dynamics as any other kind of human group.

_____________________________

Nookie
--
https://datingkinky.com

I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: How is the community structured? - 11/15/2014 8:22:55 PM

BecomingV

Posts: 916
Joined: 11/11/2013
Status: offline

"A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The" BDSM Community.

My first foray from online to real life, was to host. LOL I have space and a part of my local community had been gathering in a place which was no longer available to them because they'd grown in numbers. I don't do what they do, but I like it and support it. I agreed to let the two leaders of that group use my space, yet when people came, they perceived me to be the leader. I repeatedly made a point of making that distinction and it did not matter.

So, IME, the localized perception is that the host = leader. This appears to be true for private parties, club owners who host educational classes and for national/international event organizers.

Some people look to academics as leaders. The authors of BDSM books.

Some people look to experienced Masters (female or male) as leaders.

Some people look to club owners as leaders.

Religion, government and rule of law are other values people use to assess power structures.

From what I've seen, I'd say that what people value determines how they accept something, or someone, as being imbued with authority.

These are the usual ways in which people seek leadership. Financial success, experience with a skill set and the writers, who do research through time and across the boundaries of specialized interests.

If anyone has experience with grassroots movements or even lobbying for a specific political agenda, those power structures are exactly the same as the one found in the BDSM community.

In short, my answer to the vanilla person is that it's a grassroots power structure.

I personally choose to give the most authority to the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, as they are a centralized, organized group who addresses the human rights issues in BDSM. Here's a link:

https://www.ncsfreedom.org/

I choose them because they are like an umbrella under which club owners, skilled Masters, authors, organizers of all sorts and interested individuals, may gather to focus on their collective interests.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: How is the community structured? - 11/19/2014 3:44:34 AM

EmpressElsa

Posts: 37
Joined: 10/12/2014
From: Western Upstate, New York
Status: offline

As an overall community there is no leader or structure. We do have educators and veterans to the scene. The beauty is that we Dominants lead ourselves and our subs/slaves. We also structure our relationships and households however we want to. Individual groups may have people elected to temporary leadership roles and may structure their own groups a certain way, but there is no "community standard" per se.

< Message edited by EmpressElsa -- 11/19/2014 3:46:31 AM >

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: How is the community structured? - 11/19/2014 11:34:16 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

I feel it's our organizations that pave the way for us all. They are paying for and fighting the legal, social and/or political battles that allow us to be a community in the first place. They are our leaders.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: How is the community structured? - 11/19/2014 11:54:30 AM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I feel it's our organizations that pave the way for us all. They are paying for and fighting the legal, social and/or political battles that allow us to be a community in the first place. They are our leaders.

Got to agree with this. The Spanner Trust in the UK work tirelessly behind the scene for the scene. A charitable organization that works on, with or without our donations.

_____________________________

My store is http://e-stimstore.com

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: How is the community structured? - 11/19/2014 7:10:07 PM

Esronduncan69

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/19/2014
Status: offline

We're people like all others.

(in reply to MariaB)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: How is the community structured? - 11/20/2014 8:22:27 AM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

My answer would be "it's not, just like the global social vanilla world. There are large and small clumps of folks who organize themselves, just as with vanilla social circles, based on areas or interests or just plain hitting it off well... but it's not one huge community that has a structure and people who lead or run it."

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: How is the community structured? - 11/20/2014 9:37:26 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

A friend told me she got the following questions from a kink-curious vanilla: How is the community structured? And who are the leaders?

I'm still thinking about it, and would appreciate your insights.

There's more structure in leather communities than there is in non-leather communities. You could partially answer her question by saying that the most interesting answer is about leather structure, even though that has almost nothing to do with you (if that's true). If you've never taken a look at the Leather Archives, it's fascinating.

Non-leather-based clubs and munches tend to be more incestuous IME. Everyone's dommed or subbed to everyone else, and since there's no formal protocol, there's drama out the ass.

Most people who engage in kink do so in private, with no connection to a broader community structure.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: How is the community structured? - 11/21/2014 3:02:30 PM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

I think it depends on how you define the "community".

You can't exactly compare the the "global community of kinksters" to the Catholic church (aside from the obvious gags about Catholics being dirty bastards).

Taken as a whole, there is no central authority, or central belief system, there's no real structure and nor are there any leaders. Sure, within the hugely broad realm of "what it is that we do" there are quite a few identifiable communities, some of which are decidedly odd, and others that do a lot of good for the rest of us.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 14