Ponder these thoughts (Full Version)

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irishbynature -> Ponder these thoughts (7/12/2006 7:52:53 PM)

Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2006

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one
Can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him
Without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a
Person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for
Anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday - lying in
Hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
Attention to criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars
And a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird.  Now The world is weird and People take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions And millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration



diamonddreamlove -> RE: Ponder these thoughts (7/12/2006 8:10:54 PM)

LOL thank you for this miracle of a laugh for the night.



irishbynature -> RE: Ponder these thoughts (7/12/2006 8:13:23 PM)

[:D] You're welcome..it was just sent to me in an email...thought it was a riot!



Jaxom -> RE: Ponder these thoughts (7/12/2006 8:15:00 PM)

HA! #8 ...so true!



enigmabrat -> RE: Ponder these thoughts (7/12/2006 11:31:54 PM)

HEHEHEHEHEHEHE

I love it



Sinergy -> RE: Ponder these thoughts (7/14/2006 7:39:06 PM)

Here is something to ponder.

Guy in Las Vegas goes out looking for a hooker and spots a nice looking one in front of the Mirage.

Goes up to her and asks "How much for a hand job?" and gets the
reply $500

"Gee, that must be some great hand job."

The hooker points at a Ferrari nearby and goes "I own that."

Guy pays her $500 and sure enough it is the best hand job he has
ever had.

Goes out the next night, same hooker.

G "How much for a blow job?"

H "$2000"

G "That must be a great blowjob, how can I be sure?"

H "See that casino behind you?  I own it"

He pays her the money and goes away happy.

Next night, same hooker.

G "How much to go all the way"

H "See that Las Vegas strip behind you?"

G "Yes"

H "If I had a vagina, I would own it."



LaMalinche -> RE: Ponder these thoughts (7/14/2006 11:33:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: irishbynature


Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a
Person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.


I always liked the version. . .

Build a man a fire, keep him warm for a day.   Set a man on fire, keep him warm for a lifetime.




tpas69 -> RE: Ponder these thoughts (7/15/2006 1:20:50 PM)

Ok but if you give a man a glass of water he'll drink it ,put him in the water and he might drown.



yoursnatch -> RE: Ponder these thoughts (7/15/2006 5:56:09 PM)

number 10 reminded me of this.
1.COWS 2.THE CONSTITUTION,3.THE TEN COMANDMENTS.
COWS:Is it just me,or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in canada almost three years ago,right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of washington ? And,thye tracked her calves to their stalls , Ut they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.
THE CONSTITUTION: They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them our's It was written by a lot of really smart guy's, it's worked for over 200 years and we are not using it anymore.
TEN COMMANDMENTS;The real reason we can't have the ten commandments in the courthouse..... You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not  Steal," Thou SHall Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a buliding full of lawyers,judges, and  politicians it creates a hostile work enviriment.



fyrekittyn -> RE: Ponder these thoughts (7/16/2006 8:18:24 PM)

OMG! That is too damn funny!



irishbynature -> RE: Ponder these thoughts (7/16/2006 8:39:17 PM)

[:D] I think a comedian I heard said it best..."You women worry too much about what a man's thinking! Stop! It's simple....We men are thinking two things and that's all...I want a beer and I want to see something naked!"





IronBear -> RE: Ponder these thoughts (7/16/2006 9:08:13 PM)

Death is  fatal disease for which there is no cure. You start to die at the moment of birth......



NurseKitty -> RE: Ponder these thoughts (7/17/2006 8:42:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: irishbynature

Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2006

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one
Can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him
Without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a
Person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for
Anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 2021
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday - lying in
Hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
Attention to criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars
And a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird.  Now The world is weird and People take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions And millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration


#6 in particular got a very hearty AAL (actual audible laugh) from my Dom, as well as me.  I'm copying this to an e-mail...I know a lot of people who can appreciate most of these.  And the ones that don't are a number Six!



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