RE: Been a tough year

RE: Been a tough year (Full Version)

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Gauge -> RE: Been a tough year (11/19/2014 10:18:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst I know I have to care for myself too, but man.. how does one ignore their own nature? Because if you don't care for yourself, you are no good to anyone else. My slut has had problems with people taking advantage of her submissive nature. She became the doormat for nearly everyone in her life. When she met me, I put a stop to that and helped her realize that she mattered. I helped her discover that she was important, and was entitled to be happy. I showed her that the more she gave away of herself, the more unhealthy the relationship can be. She has toxic people around her and she was their prey... now, not so much. She can stand on her own two feet now and has faced some of those people head on, and told them where the bear shits in the buckwheat. This has allowed her to place healthy boundaries around her, and she is seeing how effective they can be. It is not easy to do, but it can be done. Take care of yourself. You deserve it.

Greta75 -> RE: Been a tough year (11/19/2014 10:40:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst "that guy probably is talking to you because he likes big butts" (when hanging out at the bar playing pool) "I think men like you because you don't threaten them like I do" I will be interested in walking up to chat with men I find attractive, it could be due to specific body parts too, so why shouldn't a man come up and talk to you just because he appreciates your derriere? It's a compliment, he finds you attractive. No negativity here. Sometimes a man can love a woman for life because she has that one thing that is his biggest weakness. And if men like you because you don't threatened them, that's great, most men prefer gentle personalities anyway. That's a good thing! You make them feel like a man, they like that. They say the smartest women isn't one who takes men head on, but knows how to use softness to influence his decisions. I had a girlfriend who really literally has watermelon size boobs, can't remember what bra size, like an F cup or something, she's dutch anyway. But anyway, she always says men always come up and talk to her because of her boobs. I always say to her, Great! Own it! You got great boobs! Use it! I just got to add, I think the big butt thing, I'd simply say, "Do you have problems with men liking big butts?" And the other one, I'd say, "So why don't you stop being so threatening towards them?"

Greta75 -> RE: Been a tough year (11/19/2014 10:55:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge I have told her that I find it rude to use gay as an insult. She stated that she is in no way prejudiced toward gay people. Okay, the crazy thing about this "gay" word is that, it doesn't just mean homosexual men. It also means "happy". But unfortunately just because it's associated to homosexual males, you can't use the word "gay" anymore. Gay = Happy = Rainbows, Sunshines, etc etc etc So if something is described as gay, it's like, "that's sooo rainbows and sunshines and all that stuffs, yuck, not for me!" It's basically saying, that's too cheerful for morose people like me. I use it alot in that context. Never even once think of homosexuals for that word, until people brings it up that it means homosexuals as well that I shouldn't use it. It's like seriously!!! It does not ONLY mean homosexual folks!

RockaRolla -> RE: Been a tough year (11/19/2014 10:59:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge I have told her that I find it rude to use gay as an insult. She stated that she is in no way prejudiced toward gay people. Okay, the crazy thing about this "gay" word is that, it doesn't just mean homosexual men. It also means "happy". But unfortunately just because it's associated to homosexual males, you can't use the word "gay" anymore. Gay = Happy = Rainbows, Sunshines, etc etc etc So if something is described as gay, it's like, that's sooo rainbows and sunshines and all that stuffs, yuck, not for me! It's basically saying, that's too cheerful for morose people like me. I use it alot in that context. Never even once think of homosexuals for that word, until people brings it up that it means homosexuals as well. You're in the minority then. Or maybe that's how it's used in your neck of the woods? I wouldn't know.

Greta75 -> RE: Been a tough year (11/19/2014 11:05:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RockaRolla You're in the minority then. Or maybe that's how it's used in your neck of the woods? I wouldn't know. I am pretty sure it means happy too! http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gay Full Definition of GAY 1 a : happily excited : merry <in a gay mood> b : keenly alive and exuberant : having or inducing high spirits <a bird's gay spring song> 2 a : bright, lively <gay sunny meadows> b : brilliant in color 3 : given to social pleasures; also : licentious 4 a : homosexual <gay men> b : of, relating to, or used by homosexuals <the gay rights movement> <a gay bar> Take "gay sunny meadows" as an example, I like to say, "ugh that cap is so gay!", that means that cap is way too brightly coloured! It's correct usage of the term isn't it according to dictionary definition.

Gauge -> RE: Been a tough year (11/20/2014 1:16:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 Okay, the crazy thing about this "gay" word is that, it doesn't just mean homosexual men. It also means "happy". But unfortunately just because it's associated to homosexual males, you can't use the word "gay" anymore. Gay = Happy = Rainbows, Sunshines, etc etc etc So if something is described as gay, it's like, "that's sooo rainbows and sunshines and all that stuffs, yuck, not for me!" It's basically saying, that's too cheerful for morose people like me. I use it alot in that context. Never even once think of homosexuals for that word, until people brings it up that it means homosexuals as well that I shouldn't use it. It's like seriously!!! It does not ONLY mean homosexual folks! Taken in the context offered by the OP, that was not the meaning implied. It was being used in the dismissive pejorative sense and not to describe happy or joyous. I know my words, believe me I do.

sexyred1 -> RE: Been a tough year (11/20/2014 1:25:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge I have told her that I find it rude to use gay as an insult. She stated that she is in no way prejudiced toward gay people. Okay, the crazy thing about this "gay" word is that, it doesn't just mean homosexual men. It also means "happy". But unfortunately just because it's associated to homosexual males, you can't use the word "gay" anymore. Gay = Happy = Rainbows, Sunshines, etc etc etc So if something is described as gay, it's like, "that's sooo rainbows and sunshines and all that stuffs, yuck, not for me!" It's basically saying, that's too cheerful for morose people like me. I use it alot in that context. Never even once think of homosexuals for that word, until people brings it up that it means homosexuals as well that I shouldn't use it. It's like seriously!!! It does not ONLY mean homosexual folks! Don't be naive. Gay hasn't been used to express rainbow and sunshine since the 50s.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: Been a tough year (11/20/2014 1:27:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge I have told her that I find it rude to use gay as an insult. She stated that she is in no way prejudiced toward gay people. Okay, the crazy thing about this "gay" word is that, it doesn't just mean homosexual men. It also means "happy". But unfortunately just because it's associated to homosexual males, you can't use the word "gay" anymore. Gay = Happy = Rainbows, Sunshines, etc etc etc So if something is described as gay, it's like, "that's sooo rainbows and sunshines and all that stuffs, yuck, not for me!" It's basically saying, that's too cheerful for morose people like me. I use it alot in that context. Never even once think of homosexuals for that word, until people brings it up that it means homosexuals as well that I shouldn't use it. It's like seriously!!! It does not ONLY mean homosexual folks! Don't be naive. Gay hasn't been used to express rainbow and sunshine since the 50s. The Misses Swan act is getting a bit old, huh?

RockaRolla -> RE: Been a tough year (11/20/2014 1:42:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 quote: ORIGINAL: RockaRolla You're in the minority then. Or maybe that's how it's used in your neck of the woods? I wouldn't know. I am pretty sure it means happy too! http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gay Full Definition of GAY 1 a : happily excited : merry <in a gay mood> b : keenly alive and exuberant : having or inducing high spirits <a bird's gay spring song> 2 a : bright, lively <gay sunny meadows> b : brilliant in color 3 : given to social pleasures; also : licentious 4 a : homosexual <gay men> b : of, relating to, or used by homosexuals <the gay rights movement> <a gay bar> Take "gay sunny meadows" as an example, I like to say, "ugh that cap is so gay!", that means that cap is way too brightly coloured! It's correct usage of the term isn't it according to dictionary definition. Oh, I knew what its definition was. But nobody this century uses it as such. Even when (especially when) it's used as an insult.

shiftyw -> RE: Been a tough year (11/20/2014 1:48:25 PM)
no...no Greta.

sexyred1 -> RE: Been a tough year (11/20/2014 1:52:31 PM)
Back away from the old definitions...come into the light children!

ExiledTyrant -> RE: Been a tough year (11/20/2014 1:55:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 Back away from the old definitions...come into the light children! [sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif]

sexyred1 -> RE: Been a tough year (11/20/2014 1:58:46 PM)
Wink, wink

DesFIP -> RE: Been a tough year (11/20/2014 2:15:43 PM)
To go back to the op's question of how does she ignore her own nature in order to care for herself? You don't. You simply treat yourself as though you were one of those wounded animals that you've helped. What do you need? Give it to yourself. I have a daughter who is doing great but she needs more coddling than most. So she gets it. She's gotten a pass on things this week because of some problems in her life right now. But when she needs things, I give it to her because she's my daughter and she comes before other people. You can allow this woman to use you and suck you dry and then you won't be able to care for your children. Is this what you want them to learn, that they aren't as important to you as other people. That they don't come first? Because it is what you're teaching them.

Missokyst -> RE: Been a tough year (11/21/2014 11:17:11 PM)
My kids have long passed childhood and are pretty aware that my personality is prone to caring for what is in need. I know that they know I will always put their NEEDS first. They also know needs are not desires. I would hope I taught them that at least. News on the guest front though. Apparently the hospital tried to contact my guest when she had her phone turned off and as a result they resorted to calling her mother-in-law. Her mother-in-law contacted my guests soon to be ex. And S let it spill that she has cancer. He made the mistake of texting her to "Call Us", meaning he and his new GF. She was livid about the "Us" part and has decided it is better to do her cancer surgery back in the east with her family. This weekend they will sell their shared property and she will have enough cash for a flight back home. I do wish her well but knowing that she will be out the first week of December is a relief.

YourBigDaddy1967 -> RE: Been a tough year (11/23/2014 2:45:17 PM)
First off, Family is Family no matter how idiotic or demeaning they are. My Mother who passed away in 2007 was idiotic, mean spirited, was mentally retarded and was what they call a contryian if you said black she had to say white. If you said coke she said pepsi regardless. for all the absolute meanness in her. I still loved her because She was my mother, When I had teachers that were intentionally mean to me. She went to bat for me, then I was in College,and bad sick, forty two miles away from home. She brought me food, medicine and a new coat. I can tell you tales about my mother that would make you think that she was a demon incarnate. I still miss her, still love her, she was my mother! She is gone now, and I grieve at her grave, her birthday and every major Holiday. When I die there won't be one sole that will put a flower down or miss her. My Cousin Suzie, will not talk to her living mother, she has told her children's school that her mother is mentally ill and that if they should see her to call the police and have her arrested. Suzie has not talked with me or her brother or her mother since 2008. WHY? Because two reasons 1) Suzie thinks that everyone in the family prefers her daughter over her son (Honestly we do, her son is a total asshole, he treats everyone he comes in contact with like they are beneath him and that they exist only to serve him) 2) That because we aren't in the church Sunday Morning and Wednesday night every time the door opens that we are lost and going to hell

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