RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships with evolution of the Internet

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships with evolution of the Internet

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships with evolution of the Internet

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 6:55:11 AM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

YAY!!!!

NookieNotes, the black mail ring is falling into place nicely.

Damn! That could be an upsell. This could make a TON of money! Let's do it!

*grins*

I'm feeling it. I can be a virtual petite blonde dominatrix with an insatiable sexual appetite guiding the lost into diabolical predicament bondage if the price is right.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to NookieNotes)

Post #: 21

RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 7:13:36 AM

NookieNotes

Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

I'm feeling it. I can be a virtual petite blonde dominatrix with an insatiable sexual appetite guiding the lost into diabolical predicament bondage if the price is right.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRGeIrAfq-k

You know, kids; I wish every mom and dad would make a speech to their teenagers and say "Kids, be free, be whatever you are, do whatever you want to do, just so long as you don't hurt anybody (unless they ask you to - consent is KEY). And remember kids, I am your friend."

Red text is mine. *grins*

_____________________________

Nookie
--
https://datingkinky.com

I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 22

RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 7:17:32 AM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

I'm feeling it. I can be a virtual petite blonde dominatrix with an insatiable sexual appetite guiding the lost into diabolical predicament bondage if the price is right.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRGeIrAfq-k

You know, kids; I wish every mom and dad would make a speech to their teenagers and say "Kids, be free, be whatever you are, do whatever you want to do, just so long as you don't hurt anybody (unless they ask you to - consent is KEY). And remember kids, I am your friend."

Red text is mine. *grins*

I had the same conversation with my daughter when she was very little. With good reason. Long, but hilarious, story short, she was a mini sadistic D in a frilly dress.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to NookieNotes)

Post #: 23

RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 7:41:58 AM

Charles6682

Posts: 1820
Joined: 10/1/2007
From: Saint Pete,FL
Status: offline

I think fetish is slowly becoming mainstream right before our eye's. The internet has been a valuable asset but in the end, it can never replace real time face to face. To be a internet dreamer only goes so far. Going to Munches or anywhere where like minded people gather has been and alway's will be key. It's just easier to communicate with others now, that's all.

_____________________________

Charley aka Sub Guy

http://www.Facebook.com/SubGuy

https://Twitter.com/SubGuy6682

(in reply to NookieNotes)

Post #: 24

RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 8:09:22 AM

littleladybug

Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FriendlyMuppet

To give an example, when I first started in the scene, submissives were generally part of a demographic that was expected to be quiet and responsive mostly to dominants who were inhabiting the known online mediums (like electronic bulletin boards (bbs systems)), but quickly more and more submissive entities became more vocal and actually joined up to interact in ways that helped a lot of others who were thinking of going the submissive route to then participate because they could identify with people like them, when before they were mostly reclusive and convinced there weren't many others like them.

My first exposure to D/s was through a friend, about 15 years ago. I tailed along with her to several events. Though I met some really great people, and was accepted...I was completely overwhelmed at it all. The internet, for me, has been a blessing over the years. Because my only experience was with this particular group of people, with their own protocols, I *did* feel like there weren't many others like me out there. I was interested in all of it, for sure, but couldn't see myself being like the women that I saw at these events. Being able to broaden my knowledge through the internet, and talk and meet with other people through the medium, has allowed me to "find myself" in this world.

I can understand how some bemoan what the internet has done to the "community". Heck, I can't say how many times I've been told that I *should* be doing something a certain way, because that's the way it was done "back in the day". To each their own, I say.

Personally, I don't think that it's "done changing". As the world changes, so too will BDSM. I have no problems with it.

(in reply to FriendlyMuppet)

Post #: 25

RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 8:57:04 AM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Charles6682

I think fetish is slowly becoming mainstream right before our eye's. The internet has been a valuable asset but in the end, it can never replace real time face to face. To be a internet dreamer only goes so far. Going to Munches or anywhere where like minded people gather has been and alway's will be key. It's just easier to communicate with others now, that's all.

I disagree. Social media consumes an awful lot of people on a day to day basis. Its hard to avoid especially for our new generation of adults.

When I was 18 I was too busy going out and finding out about life. I was constantly interacting with people on a face to face level. Youngsters today are much more likely to stay at home and spend time on their social media sites and when they do go out they can take those sites out with them. They can remain constantly connected, they can become absolutely consumed in social media.

There were some recent studies done with MRI scans (sorry you would need to google this) and they discovered that people who regularly use social media get higher levels of pleasure than eating their favorite candy and when speaking to online dates, as much pleasure as having intimate sex. For many its an addiction and gives them more fulfillment and self gratification than face to face interactions could ever do. If this is the case then online fantasy dating could become preferable to real life dating.

What a daunting thought.

_____________________________

My store is http://e-stimstore.com

(in reply to Charles6682)

Post #: 26

RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 9:04:03 AM

littleladybug

Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FriendlyMuppet

In the beginning, we mostly participated with newsgroups, then message boards and then into site specific communication vehicles like we have today (like collarspace). Some of the things that we observed during this time was the advent of a lot of dishonesty interlaced into the community as real life interactions were quickly replaced with the anonymity of people not knowing who you are (which has developed all sorts of different problems, like disappearing contacts, scams, etc.

On the other side though, it has given us the ability to have relationships with people we otherwise would never have come in contact with. While not discounting the obvious downside of the internet in this realm, I do believe that the good it has given to people in the BDSM world far outweighs the bad.

Though I am not antisocial by any means, I have not found "getting out and meeting people" at munches or events is my cup of tea. With the exception of my aforementioned experience early on, I have found the "community" by and large to be entirely too cliquish for my tastes. I'd prefer to take the occasional dishonesty in exchange for not having to deal with the drama in the groups that I have seen.

The beautiful part about all of this is that we have *choice*. I don't think that BSDM groups are going to vanish anytime soon. In fact, I would venture to say that they will get stronger. From what I have seen, there are very many strong people around who will make sure that groups that fit their own tastes and preferences in BDSM will continue.

(in reply to FriendlyMuppet)

Post #: 27

RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 9:11:25 AM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

YAY!!!!

NookieNotes, the black mail ring is falling into place nicely.

Damn! That could be an upsell. This could make a TON of money! Let's do it!

*grins*

Hahahaha, I seriously, seriously, seriously love the way you think. My romantic sights are set elsewhere but in this lifestyle I would only monetize to be frank.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to NookieNotes)

Post #: 28

RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 9:13:22 AM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

YAY!!!!

NookieNotes, the black mail ring is falling into place nicely.

Damn! That could be an upsell. This could make a TON of money! Let's do it!

*grins*

I'm feeling it. I can be a virtual petite blonde dominatrix with an insatiable sexual appetite guiding the lost into diabolical predicament bondage if the price is right.

Exactly, get with the program, LOL.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 29

RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 9:34:49 AM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

quote:

ORIGINAL: Charles6682

I think fetish is slowly becoming mainstream right before our eye's. The internet has been a valuable asset but in the end, it can never replace real time face to face. To be a internet dreamer only goes so far. Going to Munches or anywhere where like minded people gather has been and alway's will be key. It's just easier to communicate with others now, that's all.

I disagree. Social media consumes an awful lot of people on a day to day basis. Its hard to avoid especially for our new generation of adults.

When I was 18 I was too busy going out and finding out about life. I was constantly interacting with people on a face to face level. Youngsters today are much more likely to stay at home and spend time on their social media sites and when they do go out they can take those sites out with them. They can remain constantly connected, they can become absolutely consumed in social media.

There were some recent studies done with MRI scans (sorry you would need to google this) and they discovered that people who regularly use social media get higher levels of pleasure than eating their favorite candy and when speaking to online dates, as much pleasure as having intimate sex. For many its an addiction and gives them more fulfillment and self gratification than face to face interactions could ever do. If this is the case then online fantasy dating could become preferable to real life dating.

What a daunting thought.

Agreed, I see many on a perpetual search leading nowhere, they refuse to face their fear of committing to the lifestyle and choose to hide behind their laptops. They find flaw in every "Domme" they met prior or "Domme" they meet now. I even had a sub tell me at FetCon that it was all "kids trying to look for attention and turning off the experienced lifestylers". I am not familiar with the events and parties since I only dealt with the lifestyle in the context of a relationship, but my biggest kinks are "monogamy, romance (LOTS AND LOTS OF FLOWERS), conflict resolution; I'm always right, kissing my ass perpetually, being taller than me, brains and muscles." So not a tough bill to fill outside the context of "Lifestylers".
I think most people will play to their heart's content if they take things offline but not a whole lot of monogamous collaring going on as relationships evolve into FLR, cuckoldry, polyamory and circulating these events and parties. I don't think there's a huge fit for monogamous people within lifestyle, nope. I don't casually play so *exits stage left*.
Also I hear at these munches most people are "old" and online most people are "scammers" so who's to know where this will all lead. Truly after 130 pages of cmail I can say many of the submissive men on here are clueless for the most part of what it takes and to actually apply effort. I would say have fun, enjoy, don't take it all too seriously and then withdraw if you want to commit to someone whether within lifestyle or not. It is very different from before I met my very long lasting subbie. No one can really top him in both kink and commitment to MY happiness. Finding the latter outside of kink isn't hard though. Also I realize I am attracted moreso to alpha types as I myself have become a lot more alpha over the years. They are on my level of development which is pretty sweet.
The married subs on here or subs with kink wish lists should find a prodomme or pay princess so they can have that outlet and aside from that I have no ideas.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to MariaB)

Post #: 30

RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 10:09:30 AM

littleladybug

Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

They find flaw in every "Domme" they met prior or "Domme" they meet now.

So, should they just blindly follow whatever paradigm for "Domme-liness" there was before the internet?

I can understand that there are some that believe that what they see in porn is reality. I'm not speaking of those people. Who I am speaking of are those who have used the internet as *part* of their education, and have seen that the "I'm right, even if I'm wrong" paradigm isn't the only way to proceed in relationships.

Crap...this isn't just a "Domme" issue. I've had "Doms" who have called me on the same thing. God forbid I should see something I don't like in what they do. I'm not a "real sub" and should just go back to "playing on the internet". Or... telling me to go out to events and "seeing what D/s really looks like". That's a line that I've heard and never ceases to amuse me. Shit, back to the leather and sadism of "yesteryear". Um, no, not for me.

Amazingly enough, I've had no problems finding like-minded people on the internet. I have developed LTRs with a couple, good friendships with others. Frankly, I think that people who summarily dismiss the internet as something not worthwhile in this realm are needlessly overlooking what can be a great tool. Of course, it takes some effort...and there will always be those who are not willing to give it. Such is life.

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 31

RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 10:29:28 AM

NookieNotes

Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko
Hahahaha, I seriously, seriously, seriously love the way you think. My romantic sights are set elsewhere but in this lifestyle I would only monetize to be frank.

If you want to monetize, I don't mind you mot falling in love with me...

Jus' sayin'.

_____________________________

Nookie
--
https://datingkinky.com

I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 32

RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 10:34:51 AM

NookieNotes

Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug
Or... telling me to go out to events and "seeing what D/s really looks like".

Well, for those moving from online to RL, this is good advice. Or for those who have a very skewed sense of what it all means.

For those who want to be online and live in that world, it makes no sense to see it in RL, unless they want to.

However, for those who tell me they want to live 24/7, and serve the DivineBitchGoddess, I almost always direct them to events first.

1. Because they need to see what reality is.

2. Because I am not interested in being the sole source of their education/hopes/fantasies/disappointment.

3. Because anyone I am involved in should have some sort of support and community to interact with, who knows what they are into and can talk about it.

But that's what works for me. It's not ever one-size-fits-all.

_____________________________

Nookie
--
https://datingkinky.com

I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to littleladybug)

Post #: 33

RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 10:38:24 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug
Or... telling me to go out to events and "seeing what D/s really looks like". That's a line that I've heard and never ceases to amuse me. Shit, back to the leather and sadism of "yesteryear". Um, no, not for me.

Amazingly enough, I've had no problems finding like-minded people on the internet. I have developed LTRs with a couple, good friendships with others. Frankly, I think that people who summarily dismiss the internet as something not worthwhile in this realm are needlessly overlooking what can be a great tool. Of course, it takes some effort...and there will always be those who are not willing to give it. Such is life.

The internet is a medium that strongly favors people who are good at text-based communication. I'm lucky that it includes me -- hell, I text (via phone) a stupid poem to my lady friend every couple days. So I have a skill set that permits me to flirt using the current state of technology. It sounds as though you may well be in the same situation.

But not everyone is so textual, even though they might be a great catch. In 50 or so years, when we are able to plug into the internet kind of like the Matrix, it won't matter so much. But, for now, it does. It might be worthwhile to hear those directives ("see what D/s really looks like") as the person saying, "Given how I relate to people, this is the type of experience that most resonates for me." For someone who wants someone handy, as opposed to wordy, the internet might not be the best place to look.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to littleladybug)

Post #: 34

RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 11:51:28 AM

littleladybug

Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

Well, for those moving from online to RL, this is good advice. Or for those who have a very skewed sense of what it all means.

While I would never, ever discourage someone from tapping into all of the resources they have, I personally would be leery to send someone to an "event" to see what BDSM is really like. To get "another perspective", sure. For a universal "answer", absolutely not.

I've been to events in two large cities. "Large" is the only thing these two locales have in common. Looking back on these experiences now, I can say that what was put forth there looks absolutely nothing like what I live now. Good, bad or indifferent...it is what it is. While I am glad that I had these experiences..."real life" for me looks awfully different than what was put forth in these "real life" events.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

For those who want to be online and live in that world, it makes no sense to see it in RL, unless they want to.

The thing is...you're seeing *someone else's* RL.

Personally speaking...some of the "events" that I went to in the last city I lived in were heavily based in s/m. I have come to realize that *this* is not something that I want. So, I have an issue when someone tells me to "get out more" and this may be what I see.

I do understand issues with people who have *only* seen online. In my life, it generally comes in the form of married men who feel that what I give is acceptable as a side dish. Because they have their own views on what "submission" is...they believe that they can have their cake and eat it too... Yeah, that's not the way it works for me.

In my experience, there's a little of everything that goes into the mix. As I think about it, there would be a vast distinction between a Dom telling me, generally, to get out to a munch or event, versus telling me that a *particular* event or group of people would be good for me to get in contact with. While I might not click with the particular group, at least it's specific...and I know the Dom has put at least *some* thought into what he's telling me.

(in reply to NookieNotes)

Post #: 35

RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 12:26:54 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug
Or... telling me to go out to events and "seeing what D/s really looks like".

Well, for those moving from online to RL, this is good advice. Or for those who have a very skewed sense of what it all means.

For those who want to be online and live in that world, it makes no sense to see it in RL, unless they want to.

However, for those who tell me they want to live 24/7, and serve the DivineBitchGoddess, I almost always direct them to events first.

1. Because they need to see what reality is.

2. Because I am not interested in being the sole source of their education/hopes/fantasies/disappointment.

3. Because anyone I am involved in should have some sort of support and community to interact with, who knows what they are into and can talk about it.

But that's what works for me. It's not ever one-size-fits-all.

All of this and the fact that unplugging for a majority of people is a hurdle. To littleladybug I am not sure what you are directing at me but I will say this. I am Domme, you are sub. We have about a twenty year age difference, so there is bound to be a difference of opinion. Also I am monogamous and do not casually play which is differential to many within lifestyle. I am not bound to have your viewpoints or share the viewpoints of others. I have been too busy working to follow most of what has been going on so if you can let me know then it'd be great.
NookieNotes, I definitely do not have the raison d'etre of forcing someone to feel anything towards me, in fact the less they feel, probably the healthier for them, LOL. It's simply a fact that many women are doing well monetizing the lifestyle like the "Asian Goddess" and I applaud them for being productive and helping to fulfill kink wish lists. I have never had an issue with those who monetize the lifestyle though I choose not to because I have better alternatives that are far more challenging and captivating to my interests. Asian Goddess has an arsenal of Louboutins and renovations to her condo. Good girl, others have a 4000 square foot dungeon and club in Atlanta, way to go. I think when women find a way to make any of their feminine powers work for them it's great now matter the why, how, when or where. Especially when submissive men tell me "you can easily become a prodomme" like it is a compliment or "you can totally be a webcam girl". Well excuse me while I throw my graduate degree in the garbage in that case.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to NookieNotes)

Post #: 36

RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 12:57:59 PM

littleladybug

Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

All of this and the fact that unplugging for a majority of people is a hurdle. To littleladybug I am not sure what you are directing at me but I will say this. I am Domme, you are sub. We have about a twenty year age difference, so there is bound to be a difference of opinion. Also I am monogamous and do not casually play which is differential to many within lifestyle. I am not bound to have your viewpoints or share the viewpoints of others. I have been too busy working to follow most of what has been going on so if you can let me know then it'd be great.

VERY, VERY interesting response.

Which, actually, goes to prove my point.

Yes, you are a self-proclaimed Domme. I'm a self-proclaimed sub. But, I would think that we are both smart enough to understand what is going on here. Age difference means nothing in this context. (Though, from your profile, I see it as less than 10...but I could be reading that wrong.) I am also quite monogamous...but I digress....

You have bemoaned the idea that some people might get some of their ideas of BDSM from the internet. I mentioned that might not be the worst thing in the world, if people actually stopped to take a look at the realities of the situation. But, then again, that requires taking the blinders off...which is not an easy feat for some.

I've been "out there". I've seen a lot...and actually *far* more than I actually wanted to see. With that experience in tow, I have made my comments here. No, it's not easy to find a partner. And, it's certainly not made easier when one expects someone to fit into a box which is not universal. Honestly, is there some Domme handbook that you have? Is there a checklist for "real male subs"?

You have your ideals, and more power to you for sticking with them. However, you know as well as I do that there's no universal expectation for any of this. What one "group" does varies wildly from what the next one does. Perhaps it's time to stand behind what YOU want, and not expect others to fall in line?

When your cup finishes "running over", please feel free to respond.

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 37

RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 1:10:05 PM

NookieNotes

Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug
I've been to events in two large cities. "Large" is the only thing these two locales have in common. Looking back on these experiences now, I can say that what was put forth there looks absolutely nothing like what I live now. Good, bad or indifferent...it is what it is. While I am glad that I had these experiences..."real life" for me looks awfully different than what was put forth in these "real life" events.

...snip...

Personally speaking...some of the "events" that I went to in the last city I lived in were heavily based in s/m. I have come to realize that *this* is not something that I want. So, I have an issue when someone tells me to "get out more" and this may be what I see.

I understand your point. I am not telling you that you are wrong. However, I should clarify.

I don't tell people to go to one event. I tell people to get involved in their community. To get to know others doing what they hope to do, living the life, battling the issues.

Even when it is different, it can be similar, or at least create friendships based on shared perversions (yay! perversions!), and people to talk to and give perspective.

Again, I do not advocate a one-size-fits-all approach. I simply make this suggestion to those who approach me with the intention of going "real," and obviously NO CLUE how humans actually live.

_____________________________

Nookie
--
https://datingkinky.com

I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to littleladybug)

Post #: 38

RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 1:15:23 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

All of this and the fact that unplugging for a majority of people is a hurdle. To littleladybug I am not sure what you are directing at me but I will say this. I am Domme, you are sub. We have about a twenty year age difference, so there is bound to be a difference of opinion. Also I am monogamous and do not casually play which is differential to many within lifestyle. I am not bound to have your viewpoints or share the viewpoints of others. I have been too busy working to follow most of what has been going on so if you can let me know then it'd be great.

VERY, VERY interesting response.

Which, actually, goes to prove my point.

Yes, you are a self-proclaimed Domme. I'm a self-proclaimed sub. But, I would think that we are both smart enough to understand what is going on here. Age difference means nothing in this context. (Though, from your profile, I see it as less than 10...but I could be reading that wrong.) I am also quite monogamous...but I digress....

You have bemoaned the idea that some people might get some of their ideas of BDSM from the internet. I mentioned that might not be the worst thing in the world, if people actually stopped to take a look at the realities of the situation. But, then again, that requires taking the blinders off...which is not an easy feat for some.

I've been "out there". I've seen a lot...and actually *far* more than I actually wanted to see. With that experience in tow, I have made my comments here. No, it's not easy to find a partner. And, it's certainly not made easier when one expects someone to fit into a box which is not universal. Honestly, is there some Domme handbook that you have? Is there a checklist for "real male subs"?

You have your ideals, and more power to you for sticking with them. However, you know as well as I do that there's no universal expectation for any of this. What one "group" does varies wildly from what the next one does. Perhaps it's time to stand behind what YOU want, and not expect others to fall in line?

When your cup finishes "running over", please feel free to respond.

LOL, OK, I have 130 pages of email on CS from submissive men as a point of reference. Yourself?
It's funny you think I care what anyone, Dominant or submissive do with their lives because I don't. Do what you will, in fact I am totally supportive of their interests if you read correctly. My advice to you is to not give advice to me because chances are I will take the scientific route. I don't bemoan anything, I love that pay piggies give all their money to findommes, I love that a prodomme has a huge ass fully equipped dungeon. It is awesome, LOL. And the submissive men are right, if I wanted to, I could do the very same thing. Just because it's not for me doesn't mean I sit in judgement of others, unlike yourself. I am lucky enough to always have like minds very close to me. All quite successful individuals.
My cup also probably never will stop running over as it has been probably my entire adult life. Thankfully I was around long enough to respond though.
ETA; To Nookie and Gauge below me, agreed.

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 11/21/2014 1:18:51 PM >

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to littleladybug)

Post #: 39

RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships w... - 11/21/2014 1:17:13 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

This is a fast reply.

The Internet has provided a format for like-minded individuals to gather in one spot without having to leave home. This is both a good and a bad thing. The good part of it is there is a place where the free exchange of ideas, concepts and information is encouraged. The bad part of it is the inherent isolation and insulation from normal social encounters.

The impact that the Internet has had on BDSM is not something that anyone can estimate with accuracy. On the one hand I am sure it has given people an avenue to seek out their secret desires in relative anonymity, and on the other hand it has tainted those bold explorers with the tripe that can be bondage porn. As BDSM gets thrust into the mainstream via things like 50 Shades of Grey, more people are going to investigate the kinky side of things. I am not so much of a purist as to call this a watering down of the lifestyle, because it isn't. What it is is an influx of new people with new ideas, some of them realistic, others not so much.

Because of the Internet I have met women from all over the world, some of those I have met in real life... without the Internet that would not have been possible. I think the Internet opens up a world of possibilities for meeting someone who is compatible with you, it is just a bigger pond in which to fish. So, I think for those who are really seeking a relationship and not some cyber fantasy, the odds are better that you will find someone. The process, however, is long and arduous because of the number of... artificial life forms (I could not say fakes) out there.

I don't think that the Internet will do much to change BDSM. There will always be the "Old Guard" the "One Twue Wayists" and the "You're Doing It Wrongsters" to contend with, but isn't that kind of the nature of the beast anyway? Lets face it, as technology grows the way we relate to our environment is changing anyway, who is to say where it will ultimately end up? There will always be dominants and there will always be submissives and every permutation of them under the sun, the core fundamentals will never change, how those people reach their goals might change... the concept of bondage will not change, but the implementation might.

I will leave you with some ancient words of wisdom that I just thought of:

The future's so bright, I've gotta wear handcuffs.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Curious as to the direction of bdsm relationships with evolution of the Internet

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109