New and wondering...

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

New and wondering...

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> New and wondering...

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

New and wondering... - 12/4/2014 9:20:05 PM

twitchelvi

Posts: 17
Joined: 12/4/2014
Status: offline

So I am exploring further into the lifestyle and found this site. I am not sure if I am posting in the right spot, but if not maybe someone can point me in the right direction. To introduce myself, I am a 40 year old married man, my sex life has been probably average, a bit of experimentation here and there. I am a very open-minded person, and as far as sex goes I figure everything should be tried at least once. And if it doesn't work, try again, because you might not have done it right or with the right person! I have been married for some time to a woman who is extremely "vanilla", to the point that she has never touched herself and believes it to be nasty! I was able to live with this until the last few years, when due to certain disabilities, our sex life has become almost non-existent. I have had a little experience with BDSM over the years, a little blindfolding, tying, spanking, and some control/slave type play. As hard as I work, both at my job and taking care of our home, I feel I deserve some pampering and rewarding. I don't want to cheat on my wife, but am hoping to find an online situation to help satisfy some of my needs. I have enough experience and have done enough research that I am aware a Dom/Sub situation is not really about just my satisfaction, put also providing the Sub with a level of trust, respect, safety, and also helping them to fulfill a need. Any advice on how to approach an online situation or where to find one would be appreciated.

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: New and wondering... - 12/4/2014 10:11:14 PM

Moderator3

Posts: 3289
Status: offline

This thread will be moved very shortly. Just giving the members I see up top a chance to post if they are going to, before I move it, so they don't lose their posts.

Moved from Introductions to Gen. BDSM after speaking with the OP, because the member asks a question that cannot be managed in Introductions, per section guidelines.

< Message edited by Moderator3 -- 12/4/2014 10:17:00 PM >

(in reply to twitchelvi)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: New and wondering... - 12/4/2014 10:13:17 PM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

First; welcome to Collarchat!

I have been around for a day or two and I have to tell you: being married and your spouse not being aware of your asctivities is going to be a big hill to climb for some. So, you're starting with a big climb to begin with.

To answer your question more directly: There's a lid for every pot. Once you're sure of what you're looking for, look for it and don't settle for anything less; whatever you determine those characteristics (of a relationship) to be.

Good luck in your search.

Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to twitchelvi)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: New and wondering... - 12/4/2014 10:16:43 PM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Moderator3

This thread will be moved very shortly. Just giving the members I see up top a chance to post if they are going to, before I move it, so they don't lose their posts.

Grrrrr! It's a semi-introduction!

Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to DaddySatyr)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: New and wondering... - 12/4/2014 10:19:45 PM

Moderator3

Posts: 3289
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

quote:

ORIGINAL: Moderator3

This thread will be moved very shortly. Just giving the members I see up top a chance to post if they are going to, before I move it, so they don't lose their posts.

Grrrrr! It's a semi-introduction!

Michael

I know. One of those tricky situations due to guidelines. Introductions is a Safe Zone and questions may not be able to be answered without crossing over that Safe Zone and into areas that could lead to gold email, etc.

Why am I not seeing the little quote box and am able to go outside it without turning purple? LOL, I think I am going to hide in bed now.

< Message edited by Moderator3 -- 12/4/2014 10:20:59 PM >

(in reply to DaddySatyr)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: New and wondering... - 12/4/2014 10:26:27 PM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Moderator3

I know. One of those tricky situations due to guidelines. Introductions is a Safe Zone and questions may not be able to be answered without crossing over that Safe Zone and into areas that could lead to gold email, etc.

Why am I not seeing the little quote box and am able to go outside it without turning purple? LOL, I think I am going to hide in bed now.

Don't go to bed, yet. If you really want an answer to the color/format thing. I will send you a message/open a chat, on the other side?

Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to Moderator3)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: New and wondering... - 12/4/2014 10:35:22 PM

Moderator3

Posts: 3289
Status: offline

Thank you Michael. I have never seen that before. Either M3 is getting tired or moved into the Twilight Zone. That makes twice today, something weird happened that I haven't seen before. An email would be best as I am not sure my settings will work with a chat. I can send you my messenger if that would make it easier.

M3

(in reply to DaddySatyr)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: New and wondering... - 12/5/2014 11:30:11 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

OP, would you not do better to improve the communication in your marriage? To talk to a therapist and learn how to share openly?

The problem I see is that this may well not be enough for you. But that cybersex may create a greater craving and cause you cheat with someone.

More importantly, if she discovers your online play, she will consider it cheating. Are you prepared for either of these eventualities?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Moderator3)

Profile

Post #: 8