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ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

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ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I am very clear in my communications with a partner.

If they fail to understand, it their inability to want to understand or they purposely act dense because the topic is not to their liking.

I can't see the world like this. I rarely assume that someone WANTS to misunderstand me or act dense. If I were to assume that, they would not be a partner.

Then, As the dominant, I feel it is my responsibility to not only be clear, but to make sure things get done the way I see fit, because it is the best choice (in my view) for me, my partner, and our relationship.

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ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

You know who I LOVE to watch? Evangelicals on TV. They are amazing, master manipulators.

Of course, they target their audience carefully. What they do with words is nothing short of miracles, for sure. *smiles*

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ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

Did I understand your question and answer it?

I noticed I was following my pattern, after writing my answer, so illustrated it in this color and italic style. *smiles*

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ORIGINAL: Bhruic

All too often I will think that I am communicating effectively with my partner, only to realize later, when appropriate feedback is evidently lacking, that I was really only talking. The information was not being absorbed, and so no actual communication ended up taking place.

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

However, sometimes people simply have incompatible communication styles. For example, The Man likes to explain things fully and have me ask questions afterward. However, unless I can take notes, I'm not going to remember all the questions. So his choice is between hearing himself think out loud or allowing me to ask questions as he goes. Because that's my style. And for me to understand, I need to clear as I go.

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ORIGINAL: Kaliko

I have learned that when I tell stories, I feel compelled to provide a whole bunch of back story before I even get to the story and apparently, it's not necessary. I've been told this by multiple people, so I do try to watch it. (In fact even when posting here, I will usually delete about 2/3 of what I originally write before I post.) It's like I have this weird compulsion to cover, up-front, any piece of the story that could possibly leave the other party having to follow up about. I just don't know how to talk any other way. That's my communication style. But sometimes I think I confuse (and annoy) people with too much extra information.

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ORIGINAL: Bhruic

Surely it is the Dominant's responsibility to address these issues once they become apparent, and ensure that their instructions are understood and carried out... But at the point of communication (or lack thereof) it may not always be clear what is happening.

I find this frustrating when it happens, but I realize it is largely up to me, as the Dominant, to find ways to address and resolve such communication problems... but it is also her responsibility, as the sub, to have the courage - and confidence in our relationship - to speak up.

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ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

Pandering to someone I can do with little effort, might be part of my issue, I refuse to, LOL! If I did I would be in San Fran right now married to a Saudi and attending charity events like the demure stepford wife. But it would be extremely painful for me unfortunately. I'm all about authenticity.

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ORIGINAL: BecomingV

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ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

Did I understand your question and answer it?

I noticed I was following my pattern, after writing my answer, so illustrated it in this color and italic style. *smiles*

Thank you! Yes, you did. [:)]

Sorry about your divorce horror and congratulations on pulling benefits out of the crisis. :) And, yes, creative visualization is a whole lot easier than that!

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ORIGINAL: Kaliko

I have learned that when I tell stories, I feel compelled to provide a whole bunch of back story before I even get to the story and apparently, it's not necessary. I've been told this by multiple people, so I do try to watch it. (In fact even when posting here, I will usually delete about 2/3 of what I originally write before I post.) It's like I have this weird compulsion to cover, up-front, any piece of the story that could possibly leave the other party having to follow up about. I just don't know how to talk any other way. That's my communication style. But sometimes I think I confuse (and annoy) people with too much extra information.