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ORIGINAL: Gauge

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ORIGINAL: LittleGirlHeart

Why bother? Because you are fighting for your life, not hers.

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Which isn't true, but I get the feeling she likes to play the I am just so bullied , im innocent I didnt do anything and you attacked me card..

So she plays the victim, so what?

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I need to learn not to let her theatrics bother me.

Very true.


Look, you are in this for your health and it is a battle that you must win. You already know that you have health problems, so, with that in mind, the only person that can win this battle is you.

You have to figure out who you are fighting for and why. You have to believe that you are worth fighting for or you are doomed. You must believe that you CAN do this in the face of ALL adversity. This is not easy, if it was, everyone would do it.

I faced terrific adversity in my early sobriety. My divorce was horrible, I was homeless, I lost everything I had, and had a catastrophic mental breakdown... and in spite of all that adversity, all I knew was that my life was over unless I stopped my drinking. I felt worthless and yet, I still found that my will to live was stronger than my desire to die, so I used my will to live as strength. The rest was fucking hard work and determination... in the face of tremendous odds... certainly too many to list here.

My point in all of this? You CAN do this, it is simply not going to be easy. A support system is a good thing, but frankly, if you lack the strength to stand on your own, a support system is useless because the second you face a challenge you are going to cave in.

Set reasonable goals for yourself. Don't set a goal of changing everything you eat all at once (although that is the way I would suggest it is done... but I am hardcore when it comes to this stuff) change something. Cut out snacks, or the extra helping of something, or something that you can do fairly easily. Nowhere is it written that you must "cold turkey" from everything... because, with food, that is impossible. Rather, make better choices... not necessarily perfect choices, but better ones.

Set yourself up for success rather than failure. The first thing that must change is that you have got to believe you can do it and that you are worth the fight. The rest is setting reasonable goals and then sticking by them.

One last thing, let's say that you go a few days and make good choices with food and then slip. Don't focus on the fact that you slipped up, focus on the fact that you made it a few days and made good choices. Don't make that slip up a reason to abandon what you are trying to accomplish, understand that you did well for a few days, and that you can do it again. Gain strength from the fact that you were successful. What I am telling you here goes against my nature when it comes to addictive behaviors, but it seems that you may need a different approach than what would suit me. So, don't obsess over failure, focus on the successes you have and keep going in a direction. Staying stuck in one place will get you exactly nowhere, so, pick a direction and go there, and don't look backwards. If you have to adjust what you are doing along the way, that is fine, but keep moving forward.

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ORIGINAL: LittleGirlHeart

No, she says why bother saying anything, cuz in her mind I will just snap at her,which isn't true.



I've started with having healthy things in the house, and I made a very nice sensible lunch, having fresh things is allowing me to be able to eat healthful things. It's a good start, I need to branch out here soon, but at least it's a start!

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ORIGINAL: KYsissy

If you do not know how to cook. Learn. Start with easy things. Packaged processed foods are pretty much cram packed with all the stuff we do not need much of, but we are wired to want. Sugar, salt and fat. The fast food industry was built on this. Crock pots are great for easy healthy meals. Do you like mexican? Salsa chicken literally takes 5 minutes to prep and it is delicious and fairly healthy.

I imagine it is especially difficult if you are the only one in the household trying to take a different path.

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ORIGINAL: LittleGirlHeart

Not if it's spicy, I am very, very sensitive to even to much pepper. Most salsas even those claiming to be mild bother my mouth. But I do like chicken, and maybe home made salsa won't bother my mouth.

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I have 2 crock pots:) yes, it is hard, specifically when it's your bf, cuz my parents I can attempt to distance myself from but a partner is a different story . I will be working on my food issues in therapy. Part of that is not letting their choices tempt me.