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masterful slave? - 12/6/2014 9:39:21 PM

louisboy

Posts: 49
Joined: 11/13/2014
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I love the idea of obeying orders. That really turns me on. I lived with Louis a long time ago. I shined his shoes, poured his bath, waited on him, the whole personal servant thing.And I knew what to do when he humped the bed and called my name. There have been several others the same. I'm not into the whips and chains thing. At work, there was a guy that used to like to order me around, and I loved it. But the fact is I'm a dominant son-of-a-bitch. I pretty much maneuvered those guys into doing those things. I let them order me around. I was in ecstasy when Louis snapped his fingers to get him a beer. but I'm also the one who set the limits. When I say I'm a dominant guy, well.... I got kicked out of a doctor's office. He said he was the "doctor"-not me. ( No, he wasn't) I just don't understand why hearing a guy give me an order and I have to be obey him thrills me so much.
I can't figure it out.
BTW I'm dyslexic as hell so this may not read very well.

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RE: masterful slave? - 12/6/2014 10:28:13 PM

ReinRaus

Posts: 69
Joined: 4/11/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: louisboy

When I say I'm a dominant guy, well.... I got kicked out of a doctor's office. He said he was the "doctor"-not me. ( No, he wasn't)

I believe what you've described is less dominance and more antagonistic narcissism.

If you're genuinely thrilled with obeying someone, you wouldn't have disobeyed your doctor and gotten yourself kicked out of the office. I'm a little confused by those details contradicting themselves.

< Message edited by ReinRaus -- 12/6/2014 10:32:53 PM >

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RE: masterful slave? - 12/6/2014 10:43:50 PM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
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Is there a question in there somewhere? What sort of responses are you trying to elicit?
This is what I'm getting. You can't figure out why you love obeying other men, and yet you think you're a "dominant son-of-a-bitch" because you are the one who sets the limits, and you see your maneuvering as Topping from the bottom.
You are also into D/s but not masochism or BDSM so much. I'm sure that you're unique and special in your own way, as each of us are, but you are not peculiar in any of these respects.

You love being ordered around. That would make you a good submissive, if you can follow orders and execute tasks efficiently.
Good submissives can also be assertive submissives. There is no contradiction there. Submissive does not equal doormat.
What you call maneuvering is your submissive nature inspiring others to want to dominate you. That, and their Dominant tendencies inspires your submission. This is how a D/s dynamic works.

Both Dominant and submissive are responsible for setting their limits. No Dominant should ever dictate what your limits are or what they aren't. That's not how it works.
Everybody has limits. Everybody. Without exception. Setting limits can be an ongoing process, because nobody thinks of everything, and doing so is NOT an act of dominance.
Either Dominant or submissive can withdraw consent at any time. It is commonly understood that a submissive should be able to safeword.
No slave is bound to stay with his or her Owner either. Every single relationship or partnership has its deal breakers and escape clauses.
Feel free to ask for clarification, if needed, and welcome to Collarchat.

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There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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RE: masterful slave? - 12/7/2014 1:54:33 PM

louisboy

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Thank you for your answer. I had to look up,"antagonistic narcissism". Probably from what I wrote, you might think that. It wasn't that I disobeyed him. I knew what medicine worked for me and what didn't. It's that most people, who know me would find it hard to believe that I was subservient to anybody.

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RE: masterful slave? - 12/7/2014 3:00:33 PM

louisboy

Posts: 49
Joined: 11/13/2014
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Thank you. I feel very welcomed here. I guess I'm confused, which is not exactly headline news. I'm always the guy in charge. "You go here." You do that." Yet, I have a deep drive to be subservient to another male.
I'm not sure what you meant when you said," I'm sure that you're unique and special in your own way, as each of us are, but you are not peculiar in any of these respects." Somehow that sounds like I should ride in the little school bus.
You're right. While I always orchestrated my subservience, those guys readily participated in it. I never thought of that before. Hmm. It was like the right key in the right lock.
Thanks.

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RE: masterful slave? - 12/7/2014 3:19:24 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Your confusion is that you believe anyone who is in charge during the day must be dominant. And that a sub lets everybody walk all over them. And that's wrong.

We have subs here who are doctors, lawyers, business owners. It's because we have so much responsibility during the day that we find submitting to just one so fulfilling.

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RE: masterful slave? - 12/7/2014 3:24:22 PM

ReinRaus

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Joined: 4/11/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: louisboy

I guess I'm confused, which is not exactly headline news. I'm always the guy in charge. "You go here." You do that." Yet, I have a deep drive to be subservient to another male.

This is incredibly common. Plenty of submissive men (and women) live their daily lives in top-tier job positions where they're responsible for major decisions and running the show. They're the types that find comfort in coming home and being able to turn that pressure "off" by handing to a Dominant that's now taking the responsibility of making sure the sub is taken care of by becoming the controller, the leader.

The psychology behind it is fun to read about, if you want to explore some older threads on this forum or find other material that discusses why the compliance of these alpha types to another Dominant at the end of the day feels so good to them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
We have subs here who are doctors, lawyers, business owners. It's because we have so much responsibility during the day that we find submitting to just one so fulfilling.

^^^ What DesFIP said.

< Message edited by ReinRaus -- 12/7/2014 3:25:23 PM >

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RE: masterful slave? - 12/7/2014 3:45:14 PM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: louisboy

Thank you. I feel very welcomed here. I guess I'm confused, which is not exactly headline news. I'm always the guy in charge. "You go here." You do that." Yet, I have a deep drive to be subservient to another male.
I'm not sure what you meant when you said," I'm sure that you're unique and special in your own way, as each of us are, but you are not peculiar in any of these respects." Somehow that sounds like I should ride in the little school bus.
You're right. While I always orchestrated my subservience, those guys readily participated in it. I never thought of that before. Hmm. It was like the right key in the right lock.
Thanks.

I caught myself typing that 'you are not unique in any of these respects' then changed it in case that came across as a blanket statement that You Are Not Unique, which wasn't what I intended to convey.

I got the sense that you were having cognitive dissonance about your innately submissive nature and what you see as your Dominant nature.
Others may disagree, but I view having to resort to manipulation tactics (or even having to impose your will upon another) as coming from a place of non-dominance, in terms of leveraging oneself into a more influential position, or posturing oneself subversively.
If you were Dominant and fully in authority, you wouldn't have to be manipulative. See?

Therefore, being in charge in the vanilla world is not exceptional. Many submissives are in management positions or have to direct the activities of others.
The difference is, a Dominant will feel comfortable doing this and will enjoy being put in a position of power, promoted as it were, or of advancement with being entrusted with additional responsibilities (in general, not always if his or her plate is already full, or s/he is not feeling appreciated as it is).
A submissive has to force himself or herself to take on a leadership role, won't like doing it, and would prefer not to have to make so many decisions. It will literally sap a submissive's energies, and s/he will come home at the end of the day mentally exhausted. Different personality make-up, but this is how introverts feel when they have to exert themselves in social settings and act more extroverted; it will be necessary for them to go off by themselves to recharge their batteries (in seclusion).

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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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RE: masterful slave? - 12/7/2014 5:14:13 PM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
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I hate being ordered around in most aspects of my life.

But if he says "All four, on the bed, naked, now!"

I'm there.
Orders in the bedroom are sexy.

Its fine to be a bedroom sub, or a sub at home and in charge at work/where ever.

Its very much how my dynamic works.

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RE: masterful slave? - 12/7/2014 5:33:34 PM

SMgirl66

Posts: 75
Joined: 10/29/2014
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hi there
i run my own bookkeeping business and in the past have been
responsible for organising teams of up tp
10 people to meet deadlines. i am a slave and always
have been. most people who know me well are
shocked to find that i love submitting in my
private life because of how i am in the vanilla
world. its very common as it has been said previously
for subs/slaves to be like this. i enjoy just letting go
in my private life due to the pressures i have otherwise.
so yes if you love obeying orders etc i say you are a sub not
dom

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RE: masterful slave? - 12/8/2014 9:21:58 AM

UnholyBear

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Joined: 10/19/2012
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louisboy:

I have to ask, what do you mean by "subservient"?

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RE: masterful slave? - 12/9/2014 7:33:06 AM

louisboy

Posts: 49
Joined: 11/13/2014
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Hi, UnholyBear;
For me, being subservient meant obeying him completely, always with great respect and deference; and it was my duty to make his life as pleasant as possible. For instance, I got up at 5 AM, so I could get everything ready for Louis, when he woke at 7.
I'll always remember the day I forgot to shine his shoes. He was about to leave for work, when he looked down.
He said, "You didn't shine my shoes". That's all he said. But I wished he would have beaten me or something. I failed him. I didn't do my duty. I felt so horrible and I still do.

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RE: masterful slave? - 12/9/2014 7:44:30 AM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
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quote:

ORIGINAL: louisboy

Hi, UnholyBear;
For me, being subservient meant obeying him completely, always with great respect and deference; and it was my duty to make his life as pleasant as possible. For instance, I got up at 5 AM, so I could get everything ready for Louis, when he woke at 7.
I'll always remember the day I forgot to shine his shoes. He was about to leave for work, when he looked down.
He said, "You didn't shine my shoes". That's all he said. But I wished he would have beaten me or something. I failed him. I didn't do my duty. I felt so horrible and I still do.

He sounds like he understands you really well. It's nice for me to read things like this. You seem like you have "bratty moments", not alpha. Alphas have a very calm, collected and unassuming way of doing things most of the time until we get pissed off and all bets are off. But your bratty moments seemed unprovoked, they were just another way you asserted your ability to choose. Which I find is very difiicult for subs to be honest, maybe another sub can elaborate further on this.
But I love the fact that he punished you by doing THE EXACT OPPOSITE of what you desired, that to me means you're in some "major trouble" because the worst thing a D can do is ignore/dismiss a sub. It also means that to some degree maybe even you are unaware of, he understands you and might have thought this was done purposefully for a reaction so he chose not to indulge for this fact alone. He might have thought it was another one of your bratty moments. My desire to "act" comes from an affectionate place, and one of my choosing. I do not react based on what a sub believes he/she deserves. I decide that, not you.

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