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MysticFireTopaz -> RE: What is the best advice that you have ever been given? (7/14/2006 1:15:09 AM)
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Another piece of advice that has helped Me I heard from another Domme several years ago, though it was not on this forum. I modified it somewhat as a result of experience.
She told me about Her "three chance" rule. If She made plans with a submissive, and they cancelled the plans three consecutive times (assuming that they told Her in advance and had what sounded like a reasonably legitimate reason), she took it as a sign that the relationship was not meant to be, and moved on.
Over the years, I have shortened it to a "two chance" rule. If I make plans with a submissive, they can cancel out once with a good reason. The second time they cancel out, I take it as a sign of ambivalence, or that they are not ready, let it go, and move on. I started out with the "three chance" rule, but found that when submissives cancelled out two times, almost invariably they would go on to do it a third time. Naturally, if they were to "no-show" for a first meeting without any advance warning or a REALLY good excuse, they'd be out immediately without even a second chance.
This applies only to initial meetings. Once a relationship and trust have been established, it is understandable that things could come up over a period of time, and that's different.
I am amazed when I read some of the stories of submissives being given unlimited chances. I have heard of submissives "no-showing" three or four times, and the Domme continuing to give them another chance. I also know of a Domme who has had a particular submissive cancel out on Her at least a dozen times, yet She leaves the door open for him. When it gets to this point, I feel the Domme bears some of the responsibility for allowing this to continure to happen.
Anyway, this has been a good guideline that has served Me well. I've heard it through the grapevine that a few of the submissives I cut off after two excuses went on to string other Dommes along for months, because if they are allowed to do so, they will.
Lady Topaz
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