Permanent Birth Control (Full Version)

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gringuita -> Permanent Birth Control (12/9/2014 5:07:47 PM)

I just turned 30 and I haven't had children. I have never had motivation on my own to have any children. I am currently on birth control and find the side effects are nigh unbearable, now that I'm 30 I think I may be able to find a doctor that would perform a sterilization on me.

As a Dom/Master would you be put off if a prospective partner had gotten her tubes tied before meeting you?

I know the sensible advice would be to do the right thing for my own health and happiness; I would still like to hear how important it is to you for a girl to be able to bear children. Answers from 1950's HoH's especially encouraged.

Edit to say: Even though I never had my own motivation to have children, I've often thought that for the right man I would have them. What I want to hear is how much of a desire to have your partner bear children you might have, if it's a deal breaker if she can't, or if it would be a bonus to find a girl that cannot have children.



Gauge -> RE: Permanent Birth Control (12/9/2014 5:14:54 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: gringuita

I just turned 30 and I haven't had children. I have never had motivation on my own to have any children. I am currently on birth control and find the side effects are nigh unbearable, now that I'm 30 I think I may be able to find a doctor that would perform a sterilization on me.

As a Dom/Master would you be put off if a prospective partner had gotten her tubes tied before meeting you?

I know the sensible advice would be to do the right thing for my own health and happiness; I would still like to hear how important it is to you for a girl to be able to bear children. Answers from 1950's HoH's especially encouraged.


Frankly, what you do with your own body is up to you. If I met someone who was unable to have miniature humans and that happened before I met them, and I still wanted miniature humans, that person would have to be fairly special for me to pursue a relationship. If having miniature humans was not a concern, then I see no problem whatsoever.



ReinRaus -> RE: Permanent Birth Control (12/9/2014 5:33:42 PM)

If you don't mind my asking, I'm curious what the motivation would be of a potential Dom/Master/HoH wanting to be with a woman capable of bearing children if she has already decided against having any? If he's with you because it's important for his partner to be able to bear children, that wouldn't change your decision to have them or not, would it?

It would be odd to me that a man still preferred you to not be sterilized knowing you don't plan on getting pregnant at all, just for the sake of the possibility. Seems more practical to support your decision of getting a permanent method of birth control so you don't have any anxiety or hormonal disturbances caused by your current birth control.

You hopefully will do what's right for your health and happiness and IMO, deserve to find a partner that prioritizes those things over social expectations/stereotyped roles that come with the '50s HoH territory.

I'm sure you've had a discussion with your healthcare provider already, but there are quite a few BC options that may be more comfortable for you until (or if) you decide on something permanent. If you're on the combo pill, sometimes switching to a minipill messes with hormones less. Good luck!!



bossman777 -> RE: Permanent Birth Control (12/9/2014 5:51:24 PM)

It's very important to any man that hasn't had any children yet, well most at least. Go with the ones who have or who are not wanting any. But the pill is a terrible method that wreaks havoc on the body, so at 30, I agree, it's time to get off. Estrogen is a stress hormone, believe it or not, and it's bad on you for long periods of time. It's there for the stress of making a baby. Time to get off it I say. Just not healthy.



PandoraFoxxx -> RE: Permanent Birth Control (12/9/2014 5:53:20 PM)

Doesn't surprise me one bit, ReinRaus. Some men throw practicality out the window for the sake of "control." It's sad. I once knew a woman who had severe female issues and the only way to stop horrible chronic pain and heavy periods was to have a hysterectomy. Her (former) Dominant tried to veto it. Pathetic, if you ask me, considering a dominant's #1 priority is the health and well being - physical *and* mental - of his or her submissive.

BTW - this whole thing is not even close to being a part of 50's HoH territory. It's a whole other ballgame. It is one tiny insignificant element within that dynamic. I think if most "doms" knew how truly proactive 50's females really were within their own circles - including their households, their heads would do a double take so fast they'd fall off.

"The man may be the head...but the woman...the woman is the neck."



gringuita -> RE: Permanent Birth Control (12/9/2014 5:58:25 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ReinRaus

If you don't mind my asking, I'm curious what the motivation would be of a potential Dom/Master/HoH wanting to be with a woman capable of bearing children if she has already decided against having any? If he's with you because it's important for his partner to be able to bear children, that wouldn't change your decision to have them or not, would it?

It would be odd to me that a man still preferred you to not be sterilized knowing you don't plan on getting pregnant at all, just for the sake of the possibility. Seems more practical to support your decision of getting a permanent method of birth control so you don't have any anxiety or hormonal disturbances caused by your current birth control.

You hopefully will do what's right for your health and happiness and IMO, deserve to find a partner that prioritizes those things over social expectations/stereotyped roles that come with the '50s HoH territory.

I'm sure you've had a discussion with your healthcare provider already, but there are quite a few BC options that may be more comfortable for you until (or if) you decide on something permanent. If you're on the combo pill, sometimes switching to a minipill messes with hormones less. Good luck!!


I've had lots of chats with my healthcare providers and am a nurse and have done my own research. I've also had lots of attempts at various types of temporary birth control, as well as even an attempt at a non-hormonal IUD (my uterus is too petite!). I am on the minipill and even though it's less trouble than a combo pill, it's still terrible for me.

I put in an edit to say that while I've never had my own motivation to have children, I would do it in a relationship where there's enough interest/desire from my partner.



ExiledTyrant -> RE: Permanent Birth Control (12/9/2014 6:10:21 PM)

If children are not a need or want for you, and clearly they are not, the reality of them will drive you insane. Therefore, with all things and in all ways, know "yourself", wants, needs, likes, dislikes, et al and make a good and informed choice in a partner that does not want children either.

Jus sayin



ReinRaus -> RE: Permanent Birth Control (12/9/2014 6:21:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bossman777

It's very important to any man that hasn't had any children yet, well most at least. Go with the ones who have or who are not wanting any. But the pill is a terrible method that wreaks havoc on the body, so at 30, I agree, it's time to get off. Estrogen is a stress hormone, believe it or not, and it's bad on you for long periods of time. It's there for the stress of making a baby. Time to get off it I say. Just not healthy.


Are you a doctor? If so, are you the specific doctor of any women in here? If not, you're not knowledgeable about what is or isn't good for us based on our individual bodies. Get out of here with that nonsensical policing of women's bodies based on your uninformed generalizations.

Not to mention there are several oral birth control pills that contain no estrogen. You're flat out wrong to imply that the pill always has "havoc wreaking" hormone in it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: gringuita

I've had lots of chats with my healthcare providers and am a nurse and have done my own research. I've also had lots of attempts at various types of temporary birth control, as well as even an attempt at a non-hormonal IUD (my uterus is too petite!). I am on the minipill and even though it's less trouble than a combo pill, it's still terrible for me.

I put in an edit to say that while I've never had my own motivation to have children, I would do it in a relationship where there's enough interest/desire from my partner.



Ah, the joys of having a uterus. I sympathize with you and again, wish you the best of luck to try and find something that works better. In response to your edit, I agree with what ExiledTyrant has to say about it. If you find someone who changes your mind and you suddenly desire to make a family, that's great. But if the motivation is to fulfill their own desire while you know deep down you don't care for bearing children in this life, you should stick to your decisions. You'll find someone amazing that'll respect that.



ReinRaus -> RE: Permanent Birth Control (12/9/2014 6:31:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: PandoraFoxxx

Doesn't surprise me one bit, ReinRaus. Some men throw practicality out the window for the sake of "control." It's sad. I once knew a woman who had severe female issues and the only way to stop horrible chronic pain and heavy periods was to have a hysterectomy. Her (former) Dominant tried to veto it. Pathetic, if you ask me, considering a dominant's #1 priority is the health and well being - physical *and* mental - of his or her submissive.

BTW - this whole thing is not even close to being a part of 50's HoH territory. It's a whole other ballgame. It is one tiny insignificant element within that dynamic. I think if most "doms" knew how truly proactive 50's females really were within their own circles - including their households, their heads would do a double take so fast they'd fall off.

"The man may be the head...but the woman...the woman is the neck."


Preach it, sister. It's not Domination from a place of love and respect. It's manipulation for the sake of control and his fragile ego. Nothing else. I have zero tolerance for men making medical decisions on behalf of women, unless he's Board Certified with her HIPAA-protected chart and exam notes on his desk.

"...But the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head whichever way she pleases.'" [:D]



ExiledTyrant -> RE: Permanent Birth Control (12/9/2014 6:39:41 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ReinRaus


Are you a doctor? If so, are you the specific doctor of any women in here? If not, you're not knowledgeable about what is or isn't good for us based on our individual bodies. Get out of here with that nonsensical policing of women's bodies based on your uninformed generalizations.




Listen up, Little Miss In & Out, just because it has been your body since before you were born doesn't make you the authority of your body. I mean, Doctors have been trained and shit.

Jus sayin

P.S. you probably do not know me well enough to know that was my odd way of supporting your post ;)



ReinRaus -> RE: Permanent Birth Control (12/9/2014 6:42:21 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Listen up, Little Miss In & Out, just because it has been your body since before you were born doesn't make you the authority of your body. I mean, Doctors have been trained and shit.

Jus sayin

P.S. you probably do not know me well enough to know that was my odd way of supporting your post ;)


I will see your sarcasm and raise you my middle finger in a playful show of gratitude. Especially for the effort of using Google translate if you're not a German speaker. [:)] [:D]



GotSteel -> RE: Permanent Birth Control (12/9/2014 6:53:05 PM)

I can't speak for the 1950's crowd, their responses might vary wildly.

However, as I understand it having your tubes tied is reversible so even if you did find yourself all nested with Mr. Right and started having kid thoughts it wouldn't be the end of the world, you'd just need another medical procedure.



ExiledTyrant -> RE: Permanent Birth Control (12/9/2014 6:58:51 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ReinRaus


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Listen up, Little Miss In & Out, just because it has been your body since before you were born doesn't make you the authority of your body. I mean, Doctors have been trained and shit.

Jus sayin

P.S. you probably do not know me well enough to know that was my odd way of supporting your post ;)


I will see your sarcasm and raise you my middle finger in a playful show of gratitude. Especially for the effort of using Google translate if you're not a German speaker. [:)] [:D]


Mein Deutsch ist kindlich und begrenzt.

nur zu sagen



SeekingTrinity -> RE: Permanent Birth Control (12/9/2014 6:59:35 PM)

~FRing it~

It can be reversible, but not always guaranteed 100% to work. Id honestly recommend not going the tubal route unless you are 2000% sure you don't want to have children.



DesFIP -> RE: Permanent Birth Control (12/10/2014 6:43:18 AM)

You're willing to have kids for a guy but you have no interest in them yourself. So what happens if afterwards you break up or he gets hit by a bus, you planning on putting them into the foster care system?

If you aren't 100% committed to them, don't have them. This isn't like letting him pick the color for the walls. This is the rest of your life.



Gauge -> RE: Permanent Birth Control (12/10/2014 10:09:05 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: gringuita

I've had lots of chats with my healthcare providers and am a nurse and have done my own research. I've also had lots of attempts at various types of temporary birth control, as well as even an attempt at a non-hormonal IUD (my uterus is too petite!). I am on the minipill and even though it's less trouble than a combo pill, it's still terrible for me.

I put in an edit to say that while I've never had my own motivation to have children, I would do it in a relationship where there's enough interest/desire from my partner.



You know, being on the fence about something like having kids isn't a great idea while considering getting sterilized. Having kids for your partner, if you have no motivation or desire to have them, is simply a bad idea. What happens to the kids if you break up? Not like you can stuff them back where they came from.

You need to make up your mind and the only person here that can do that for you is you.



sexyred1 -> RE: Permanent Birth Control (12/10/2014 7:06:55 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: bossman777

It's very important to any man that hasn't had any children yet, well most at least. Go with the ones who have or who are not wanting any. But the pill is a terrible method that wreaks havoc on the body, so at 30, I agree, it's time to get off. Estrogen is a stress hormone, believe it or not, and it's bad on you for long periods of time. It's there for the stress of making a baby. Time to get off it I say. Just not healthy.


Not all men want kids. Not all women want kids.

Don't give advice on birth control unless you are a doctor.

To the OP, not everyone is meant to be a parent, or bear children. There are lots of unwanted kids to foster or adopt if you ever change your mind.

Just don't be with someone who reallynisceurevthey want kids if you are not.



MissToYouRedux -> RE: Permanent Birth Control (12/10/2014 9:18:29 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

You're willing to have kids for a guy but you have no interest in them yourself. So what happens if afterwards you break up or he gets hit by a bus, you planning on putting them into the foster care system?

If you aren't 100% committed to them, don't have them. This isn't like letting him pick the color for the walls. This is the rest of your life.


And the rest of theirs.



DarkSteven -> RE: Permanent Birth Control (12/10/2014 10:00:34 PM)

If you had a real live Dom, he should be involved in the decision. Not making the decision because it IS your body. But discussing it with you.

You have no Dom currently. No way to predict if the prospectives will be happy or unhappy with your decision, whichever way it goes.

For me, it would not be a deal breaker because pregnancy is a bitch. I'd prefer to adopt except for the price tag.



DerangedUnit -> RE: Permanent Birth Control (12/10/2014 10:36:37 PM)

Getting your tubes tied isnt that effective.... that's how my owners first son was born.

He would be overjoyed to knock me up but that is something you should always keep your decision. I would never trust anyone around something that came out of me so no way I will ever get pregnant no matter how much someone else wants that. I have a copper iud in since it's something that can't be controlled by someone else.

Getting pregnant isn't something to take lightly, and I don't mean because of the next 18 years I mean because genetically speaking women are chimera, a vessel. When you get pregnant you swap dna with the child and get the mans dna back with it. This is why women change after kids some get hairier, their feet grow, my grandmothers eye color changed... the results vary but you are then forever someone else. Related to that person and carrying pieces of them forever.... dont do that for someone else.



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