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RE: Are women on a kink site all immoral sluts? - 12/14/2014 12:40:45 PM   
Spiritedsub2


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Joined: 7/18/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant


quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

I wondered this a lot myself when I first came here. Then I learned from people who'd been around awhile that those messages generally come from guys whose time is spent mostly in their mom's basements online with bag of Cheetos in their laps

Ewwwwwwww...day-glow orange penis visual.

Finger lickin' good!

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RE: Are women on a kink site all immoral sluts? - 12/14/2014 4:14:22 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I wish I was an immoral slut.

I would be having way more fun.



I was thinking the exact same thing!!!!!


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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Are women on a kink site all immoral sluts? - 12/14/2014 4:41:48 PM   
orgasmdenial12


Posts: 613
Joined: 9/18/2012
Status: offline 		Many men who actively message on here don't really care about the parts of your profile that say what you're not looking for. They just see single, hard working, independent, not looking for a lot of control and they latch on to that. In my opinion it is more productive to say what you ARE looking for. As it stands, your profile is more a complaint about the men you don't want, than an attraction to the men you DO want. And that doesn't work because the idiots don't read profiles anyway and the men who do take the time to read profiles are put off by the list of things you don't want. Pretend that the married cheaters won't read a word you write, and pretend that the nice decent guys will read everything you write and you'll be right more of the time than you'll be wrong :-)

(in reply to booklover13)
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RE: Are women on a kink site all immoral sluts? - 12/14/2014 4:43:44 PM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

Many men who actively message on here don't really care about the parts of your profile that say what you're not looking for. They just see single, hard working, independent, not looking for a lot of control and they latch on to that. In my opinion it is more productive to say what you ARE looking for. As it stands, your profile is more a complaint about the men you don't want, than an attraction to the men you DO want. And that doesn't work because the idiots don't read profiles anyway and the men who do take the time to read profiles are put off by the list of things you don't want. Pretend that the married cheaters won't read a word you write, and pretend that the nice decent guys will read everything you write and you'll be right more of the time than you'll be wrong :-)

The trouble with saying "I'm looking for X" and leaving it at that is it leaves you open to responses such as "Are you seeking Y? Have you considered Z? I think you should try W."

I feel it's best to state what you are AND aren't looking for. My experience is that it weeds out more people. You'll still get the dumbos who don't read profiles.

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RE: Are women on a kink site all immoral sluts? - 12/14/2014 5:07:54 PM   
seekingreality


Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: booklover13

So, where do some men get the idea that a woman on a kink site is an immoral whore willing to jump into the sack with any Tom, Dick or Harry who invites her?


Women on vanilla sites get the same sort of messages.

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Are women on a kink site all immoral sluts? - 12/14/2014 5:58:59 PM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline 		What exactly is an immoral slut?

Or even a moral slut?

Does a moral slut fuck thinking: "this isn't right, I really should be reading the bible"?

I think this world needs both immoral sluts and moral sluts, and those alternating between the two ethical positions while remaining sluts. John 3:16.



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RE: Are women on a kink site all immoral sluts? - 12/14/2014 6:12:10 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I wish I was an immoral slut.

I would be having way more fun.



I was thinking the exact same thing!!!!!




I'll take two please. Yep, yep, yep ;)


_____________________________

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To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

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RE: Are women on a kink site all immoral sluts? - 12/14/2014 9:39:57 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Seriously. Her ass is great...and those tatts...Is the ad for alt.com? I actually don't even know, cause I'm like BUTT

----»likes butt«----

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Are women on a kink site all immoral sluts? - 12/14/2014 9:41:18 PM   
UnholyBear


Posts: 661
Joined: 10/19/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: YouName

Peeps in general are becoming more slutty, girls and guys. It's the world we live in!
Other peeps just don't consider sex to be anything special, out of the ordinary, requiring tons of foreplay.
They will jump into the sack with others that they find attractive and with whom they can have friendly relations.




And that's a bad thing?

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Are women on a kink site all immoral sluts? - 12/14/2014 9:41:44 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant


quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Seriously. Her ass is great...and those tatts...Is the ad for alt.com? I actually don't even know, cause I'm like BUTT

----»likes butt«----


A dog with a bone!

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Are women on a kink site all immoral sluts? - 12/14/2014 9:51:52 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline
What's with this: " ... on a kink site ..." stuff?



Michael

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RE: Are women on a kink site all immoral sluts? - 12/14/2014 11:27:42 PM   
orgasmdenial12


Posts: 613
Joined: 9/18/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla


quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

Many men who actively message on here don't really care about the parts of your profile that say what you're not looking for. They just see single, hard working, independent, not looking for a lot of control and they latch on to that. In my opinion it is more productive to say what you ARE looking for. As it stands, your profile is more a complaint about the men you don't want, than an attraction to the men you DO want. And that doesn't work because the idiots don't read profiles anyway and the men who do take the time to read profiles are put off by the list of things you don't want. Pretend that the married cheaters won't read a word you write, and pretend that the nice decent guys will read everything you write and you'll be right more of the time than you'll be wrong :-)

The trouble with saying "I'm looking for X" and leaving it at that is it leaves you open to responses such as "Are you seeking Y? Have you considered Z? I think you should try W."

I feel it's best to state what you are AND aren't looking for. My experience is that it weeds out more people. You'll still get the dumbos who don't read profiles.


Focussing on the positives worked best for me but ymmv :-)

(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Are women on a kink site all immoral sluts? - 12/14/2014 11:31:25 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw


quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant


quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Seriously. Her ass is great...and those tatts...Is the ad for alt.com? I actually don't even know, cause I'm like BUTT

----»likes butt«----


A dog with a bone!
woof...woof...woof

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Are women on a kink site all immoral sluts? - 12/15/2014 2:38:35 AM   
TheLastTitan


Posts: 3
Joined: 3/21/2014
Status: offline 		Whilst I understand that women get these kind of messages, I don't think that this is a widely held opinion amongst men. I think that one of the problems men have is that they don't know how to approach women on these sights. Should be we nice and polite and risk being 'too nice', should we be 'dark and masterful' and risk being 'too pushy', should we attempt to appeal to the woman's profile and risk being cast as sucking up.

Now I'm not attempting to generalise about all women because obviously you're all different and therefore have different wants and needs and not everyone is going to appeal to everybody. But the point is, it can be very difficult to approach women on a site where they generally don't reply to messages. Personally, I gave up a long time ago and now just pop on now-and-again to speak with old friends and have a read of the boards.

The other thing we have to contend with is a plethora of fake profiles.

Again, I don't think the opinions you express are widely held by men on here.

That said I wish you luck on journey

(in reply to booklover13)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Are women on a kink site all immoral sluts? - 12/15/2014 4:05:29 AM   
theshytype


Posts: 1600
Status: offline 		I can't compare this site to vanilla dating sites, never been on them, but can only assume that it'd be similar?

One thing I have discovered, by removing "Married. Taken. Not looking" from my profile, I receive significantly less messages. I believe that some people will make their own assumptions about other profiles based on their own personal needs and desires. The messages I was receiving were a lot of men admitting they were married (yet, not stated on their profiles). Some claimed to be seeking "friendship" and others outright stated they were looking for an affair. By seeing the married portion, they were assuming I was in the same market as them I guess.

Yes, I do think some will perceive women on kinky dating sites as being easy, slutty women because that's what they're hoping to find.

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Are women on a kink site all immoral sluts? - 12/15/2014 5:33:21 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent
What exactly is an immoral slut?

Or even a moral slut?


quote:

ORIGINAL: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ethical_Slut
The authors define the term slut as "a person of any gender who has the courage to lead life according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you." The term is reclaimed from its usual use as a pejorative and as a simple label for a promiscuous person. Instead, it is used to signify a person who is accepting of their enjoyment of sex and the pleasure of intimacy with others, and chooses to engage and accept these in an ethical and open way — rather than as cheating.

The Ethical Slut discusses how to live an active life with multiple concurrent sexual relationships in a fair and honest way. Discussion topics include how to deal with the practical difficulties and opportunities in finding and keeping partners, maintaining relationships with others, and strategies for personal growth.

It contains chapters discussing how consensual non-monogamy is handled in different subcultures such as the gay and lesbian communities, information on handling scheduling, jealousy, communication, conflict in relationships, and etiquette for group sexual encounters.

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Are women on a kink site all immoral sluts? - 12/15/2014 11:02:39 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ethical_Slut
The authors define the term slut as "a person of any gender who has the courage to lead life according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you." The term is reclaimed from its usual use as a pejorative and as a simple label for a promiscuous person. Instead, it is used to signify a person who is accepting of their enjoyment of sex and the pleasure of intimacy with others, and chooses to engage and accept these in an ethical and open way — rather than as cheating.

The Ethical Slut discusses how to live an active life with multiple concurrent sexual relationships in a fair and honest way. Discussion topics include how to deal with the practical difficulties and opportunities in finding and keeping partners, maintaining relationships with others, and strategies for personal growth.

It contains chapters discussing how consensual non-monogamy is handled in different subcultures such as the gay and lesbian communities, information on handling scheduling, jealousy, communication, conflict in relationships, and etiquette for group sexual encounters.

Calling oneself a slut, as many subs do, does not make it okay for assorted men to go around calling women sluts. Their intent in doing so is to denigrate or defame.

You can call yourself a slob or any other unflattering term, but that doesn't give you the right to project onto others. I say this, because those who try to defuse by putting a spin on name-calling often make lame rationalizations, like it's no big deal. (Watch for it...watch for it....)

quote:

ORIGINAL: theshytype

Yes, I do think some will perceive women on kinky dating sites as being easy, slutty women because that's what they're hoping to find.

Not just most women either, but ALL women, even Dommes.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Are women on a kink site all immoral sluts? - 12/15/2014 11:25:49 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

I say this, because those who try to defuse by putting a spin on name-calling often make lame rationalizations, like it's no big deal. (Watch for it...watch for it....)



From my point of view, I don't think it is a 'big deal'.

My post was aimed at the idea that someone can come up with a term 'immoral slut' and then waste time posting about said term which to all intents and purposes is completely and utterly meaningless.

It doesn't mean anything, nothing whatsoever. Just two words thrown together with no thought nor sense.

The term 'slut' in a general sense doesn't mean anything. It may have negative connotations in the same way other words have negative connotations, but any reasonable person is going to read that term and think what a waste of some perfectly good vowels and consonants.

It's that old adage: ask a daft question and the response will be in kind.

'Slut' is the sort of thing you may have heard in England in the 1950s when a young girl was unfortunate enough to get pregnant. And, in those days it really was tough love as said girls were booted straight out of the house, no questions asked. That's why I find it so ridiculous: this isn't the 1950s, life has moved on.

More to the point, I'm still struggling to understand how anyone fucks ethically. What do they do? Read out a thirteen page long code of ethics including penalties for breach of contract the minute things are looking promising?








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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Are women on a kink site all immoral sluts? - 12/15/2014 11:43:45 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

I say this, because those who try to defuse by putting a spin on name-calling often make lame rationalizations, like it's no big deal. (Watch for it...watch for it....)

From my point of view, I don't think it is a 'big deal'.

My post was aimed at the idea that someone can come up with a term 'immoral slut' and then waste time posting about said term which to all intents and purposes is completely and utterly meaningless.

It doesn't mean anything, nothing whatsoever. Just two words thrown together with no thought nor sense.

The term 'slut' in a general sense doesn't mean anything. It may have negative connotations in the same way other words have negative connotations,...
<snip>

Did I quote you? I replied to GotSteel's Wiki def of an "Ethical Slut" coined by whomever those feckwits were.

If this word means nothing to you, then you don't mind when you're called one, right? But no one would dare do that, would they?
If this word means nothing to you, does that still give you the right to insult others, specifically women? If you don't have a particular woman's permission to call her a slut, then it's verbal abuse.

You may not mind being called a limey bastard, but if your ethnic friend and you are not on familiar terms, then you wouldn't call him a racial slur, now would you? No Gent, I don't think you would be so uncouth, except for under your breath. No "reasonable person" would take such uninvited, non-consensual liberties.

[Edited for punctuation]

< Message edited by FieryOpal -- 12/15/2014 11:52:22 AM >

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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Are women on a kink site all immoral sluts? - 12/15/2014 12:00:21 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline 		~FR... sorta.

I notoriously call our B/boys and G/girls sluts. Some of them are easy sluts, some of them are tricky sluts, but none of them are ever "derogatory sluts" to me. I think our B/boys and G/girls being slutty is just FUCKING SEXY!!!!

That said, it tickles me to know that they are His/Her slut, or eager to become His/Her slut. I have of yet to see any of our sluts being cheap, easy, wanton, open for anything sluts. To know that the inner slut is out there, in muh face, is really cool, and I envy the lucky Bitch/Bastard that is going to land one of our sluts, because they will be the sluttiest slut that every slutted sluttiness within the parameters of their dynamic, because our sluts have integrity.

I know that I like being a craving much more than being just "Him (and all that entails)". To be a craving, as profound as chocolate, coffee, or whatever your craving vice, is visceral, primal, and just fucking awesome to me.

Now, when I say "Go back to the convent you fucking prude" those are the words that I would expect to elicit the "carnivorous gazelle" in our B/boys and G/girls, much like calling a nilla girl a "worthless slut".

Jus sayin

_____________________________

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To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 40
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