Why are you the way you are?

Why are you the way you are? (Full Version)

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smileforme50 -> Why are you the way you are? (12/17/2014 5:57:30 PM)
I think this question has been asked here several times before, but I'm going to bring it up again. This month, the topic of discussion at my local MAsT meeting is as follows: Why are you a M/D-type or s-type? What in your past brought you here? How much of it do you believe is based on natural or genetic vs. acquired or trained behavior?

ExiledTyrant -> RE: Why are you the way you are? (12/17/2014 6:16:05 PM)
Born this way.

InHisHeart -> RE: Why are you the way you are? (12/17/2014 6:33:18 PM)
It's simply who I am naturally, it's how I'm wired and I knew this was my way since I was an early teen/preteen. The only thing in my past that I could say brought me here in the sense that I never tried to bury my true self, I was never a "closet sub" were words of wisdom from my parents. They always stressed how important it is to love and accept yourself for who you are, don't try to be what others want or expect you to be, just be you. I don't think they had a submissive/maso daughter in mind when they would stress that though. [:)]

shiftyw -> RE: Why are you the way you are? (12/17/2014 7:11:49 PM)
Why are you a M/D-type or s-type? Just in bed, I feel submissive, most of the time. What in your past brought you here? Uh. I'm hoping I was born this way, but there is an alternative- but thats pretty dark and I'd rather not go there today when I'm feeling happy. How much of it do you believe is based on natural or genetic vs. acquired or trained behavior? I'm not sure. The way I play, and what I like seems natural- but like flogging is a behavior we learned to achieve what I feel I want naturally.

Gauge -> RE: Why are you the way you are? (12/17/2014 7:45:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: smileforme50 Why are you a M/D-type or s-type? This is just who I am. I am guessing that a good reason is because when I was a miniature human all the females in my life were very strong willed. Perhaps it was part of the developmental process to assert my individuality which was difficult around those folks. quote: What in your past brought you here? Tough to say. quote: How much of it do you believe is based on natural or genetic vs. acquired or trained behavior? 80% Natural 20% Acquired. I only really discovered BDSM in my 30's.

MissToYouRedux -> RE: Why are you the way you are? (12/17/2014 8:17:07 PM)
Nature and nurture. My grandmother was a female supremacist. [;)]

Marini -> RE: Why are you the way you are? (12/17/2014 8:28:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant Born this way. This

CreativeDominant -> RE: Why are you the way you are? (12/17/2014 8:34:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: smileforme50 I think this question has been asked here several times before, but I'm going to bring it up again. This month, the topic of discussion at my local MAsT meeting is as follows: Why are you a M/D-type or s-type? What in your past brought you here? How much of it do you believe is based on natural or genetic vs. acquired or trained behavior? Born this way...nurtured by a family in which all the men were dominant by nature and upbringing and the women were submissive by nature and by upbringing. Stifling of that nature due to cultural and societal changes. Finally could not play Alan Alda anymore. When the ex could not follow me instead of lead Alan Alda, I left. Somewhere around 70-75% natural/upbringing and 25-30% training/acquired behavior.

DerangedUnit -> RE: Why are you the way you are? (12/17/2014 9:47:01 PM)
It's almost entirely environmental, your epigenetic code rewrites itself constantly in response to even small factors like temperature, stress level, pregnancy(rewrites a lot by comparison). This is something that has always fascinated me and I built my life around the ability to explore the lengths we can change ourselves and others.... it turned to D/s out of irony really but it ended up being conducive to areas I liked to explore. I am a slave mainly because all the girls in my family are supposed to let daddy marry them off so he can get a pay check.... I told them "I prefer to choose my own owners" and ran away.... one thing leads to another and I did end up choosing an owner, ah irony. There where many factors that contributed to each other but listing them all would be far too intensive for a forum. The biggest contributors to my current point were 1.very little human contact in developmental years 2. A comfort with extraordinary occurrences/eccentric events 3. Accomplishing everything I set my mind to 4. My first failure and loss 5. The ability to find joy and humor in everything and the curiosity and stubbornness to do so.

orgasmdenial12 -> RE: Why are you the way you are? (12/17/2014 11:28:19 PM)
I'm probably a submissive because I had a very depressed mother as a small child and that urge to try and please the dominant person in my life has never really left me. I have no real explanation for my masochism, it's always been there and it didn't seem to be in response to anything. I don't believe that sexuality is genetic because genetic traits are hereditary, yet I see no evidence that BDSM inclinations are hereditary. There is also no biological evidence that genes can cause personality traits, such as sexuality or BDSM identity, because these behaviours are so complex and socially specific. Even if it was possible for a gene or a group of genes to control personality or behaviour, it would be evolutionary disadvantageous to the individual, since human social life requires that we are adept at a whole range of behaviours to match the circumstances. I think it's likely that human sexuality is a fluid and adaptable concept. We pick and choose the elements that seem most exciting to us and develop them, some consciously and some unconsciously.

LittleGirlHeart -> RE: Why are you the way you are? (12/17/2014 11:31:09 PM)
I'm a Dominant Little. And I am the way I am because I was abused all my life and up to adult hood, so large parts of me are still stuck at child. A dominant little cuz I enjoy calling the shots.

SDFemDom4cuck -> RE: Why are you the way you are? (12/17/2014 11:41:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Marini quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant Born this way. This That ^^ Waves at Marini....innocent My..*

DaddySatyr -> RE: Why are you the way you are? (12/18/2014 12:16:10 AM)
First, my local MAsT group never does anything this cool. There are so many different ways to interpret and answer these questions, it almost boggles my mind. The answer to the first part is: I am dominant. The next two parts are where things can get really long-winded and really weird. I strongly suspect my answers might change, on any given day. What about my past brought me here? For a long time, I have believed that everything I have gone through in my life has made me the person I am, today. It's why I am able to be thankful for some pretty horrific things; because no matter how bad those things were, they taught me something and helped to mold a portion of who I am. I will give one example to this: I was raised (partially) in a very physically abusive setting. For this reason, I have a real issue with including anything I consider to be violent into a loving, caring, nurturing relationship. By the same token, I was also (partially) raised by very loving, caring, nurturing people who (thank God) were more of an influence in my life than the pricks were. How much do I believe is nature and how much is nurture. Well, here we go. I'm about to negate what I just typed. I've almost always been able to pull positives out of negatives. My mom and step-dad were horrible, violent, self-absorbed, drunken pieces of shit who - quite possibly - were the worst parents on the planet. When I was raising my boys, I used the drunken idiots as a "negative barometer" in a lot of cases. Before I made a decision, I would ask myself: "Would they approve of what I'm doing?" Most times, if I believed they would have handled things the way I was contemplating handling them, I would throw out that idea and go another way. I think that other aspects of my being (ones with which I was born) were a base for how my nurturing molded me. So, I guess the answer to the last part would be: "*at least* fifty percent nature and the rest nurture." Michael

sexyred1 -> RE: Why are you the way you are? (12/18/2014 12:21:04 AM)
Born this way. Nothing in my childhood or family contributed to it. I knew I was attracted to this very early, even before puberty.

FieryOpal -> RE: Why are you the way you are? (12/18/2014 12:47:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissToYouRedux Nature and nurture. My grandmother was a female supremacist. [;)] You must have some fascinating stories to tell. None in my family, officially, but strong personalities of both genders. Very independently minded and individualistic, so I had a great group of role models. (I also wish this site had another option under Lifestyles for FemDom than that of Female Supremacist. There are a few for M/ but not even FLR for F/.) I have no idea how much of a split I can put between nature and nurture. Nurture played a large part. However, from an astrological perspective, my natal chart has many indices of Dominance, sexual dominance with an overriding desire to Own and to possess (and protect), with lesser emphasis on kink, which reflect my inherent nature.

NookieNotes -> RE: Why are you the way you are? (12/18/2014 2:47:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: smileforme50 Why are you a M/D-type or s-type? I am dominant, because it's natural to me. I have always been stronger-willed and more interested in leading and finding my own path than most of the people around me. quote: What in your past brought you here? Where I am right now? Why, everything, of course. quote: How much of it do you believe is based on natural or genetic vs. acquired or trained behavior? I really don't care. Not trying to be snarky. I just don't. To me, it matters very little if something happened when I was 3 to make me this way, or if I was always predisposed to become who I am. I still live it exactly the same way. I do know I have acquired and trained behavior into myself that makes me BETTER at being this way.

MariaB -> RE: Why are you the way you are? (12/18/2014 4:22:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: smileforme50 Why are you a M/D-type or s-type? I don't know other than it feels very natural to me. quote: What in your past brought you here? Nothing. I had a dark and miserable childhood but its not something I talk about on forums. Some would suggest that I'm here for revenge but because I love, cherish and protect the submissive in my life, I would call that rubbish. There is no relationship with my past and who I am today. quote: How much of it do you believe is based on natural or genetic vs. acquired or trained behavior? The more I think about that question, the harder it is to answer and so my best answer to that is, I have no idea.

Bhruic -> RE: Why are you the way you are? (12/18/2014 4:40:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit It's almost entirely environmental, your epigenetic code rewrites itself constantly in response to even small factors like temperature, stress level, pregnancy(rewrites a lot by comparison). ... I never gave epigenetic markers much thought in this context, but you are right... our genetic make up does change under the influence of environmental factors. I have always felt dominant in personality, but it has certainly evolved to be more complex over time, and with context.

SweetForDaddy -> RE: Why are you the way you are? (12/18/2014 5:00:51 AM)
No moment of discovery for me either, I've always felt the way I do. I don't have any childhood memories before around the age of 8 or 9 so have no idea what happened before then but I think if something particularly significant had happened I would know. I probably just had an uneventful childhood. Nature vs nurture, I don't know about that either, I would guess a mix but I think its weighed towards nature rather than nurture. They seem to be basic instincts for me, especially sexually.

theshytype -> RE: Why are you the way you are? (12/18/2014 5:38:16 AM)
Born this way. I'm not a leader or a follower. If anything, everyone seemed to expect and push me towards being dominant and a leader. They still do. I tried. It just mentally and physically exhausts me and I have absolutely no desire in leading anyone (except as a parent). I've always been attracted to dominant personalities for relationships and in friends, perhaps so that they can take the lead. Doesn't mean I'll follow, either. I'd almost say I'm submissive by default in that regard. There's also this thing in me that likes seeing people around me happy and will do what I can to see that they are. I think this is something I was born with but was also nurtured. Almost always, I put others happiness before my own. That's probably what led me here - for a balance between my happiness and others. But if you mean here as in this website, I came here mostly for the BDSM and cookies.

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