A few questions about chastity

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

A few questions about chastity

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> A few questions about chastity

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

A few questions about chastity - 12/20/2014 2:30:23 PM

GoodBoi921

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/24/2013
Status: offline

I'm thinking of getting a chastity device for myself. One that I'm intending to wear for about three months, maybe more. I don't have a master or a person to be a key-holder, but I'm pretty determined to keep it on for the purpose of restoring sensitivity to my cock.

Here are two I was thinking of purchasing:

http://store.adam4adam.com/stainless-steel-chastity-cage-with-urethral-insert_3866.html (I don't plan on using the urethral insert...)
http://store.adam4adam.com/sado-chamber-silicone-chastity-device_3860.html

So here are my questions...

Are there any better options than these? My budget is about $100 or less. These are on sale. I could possibly wait for a sale for a more expensive cage.

I'm also wondering for the long term. Since I plan on around three months, I'd like something I can put on and not have to take off, at the very least not too often. Something I can wash in and piss from as comfortable and clean as possible, even if I have to sit down to do it.

I'm don't live alone, so being discrete is a big thing I'm worrying about too. I need a cage that wont be obvious through my shorts or pants. I don't want people looking at me and thinking I'm constantly getting a hard on.

Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

< Message edited by GoodBoi921 -- 12/20/2014 2:32:10 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: A few questions about chastity - 12/20/2014 2:57:01 PM

NookieNotes

Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

So, YMMV, but my Pet's balls LOVE to escape from those things. They will pull right up and out, even after wrangling the damn things on.

Which is fine, except for the wasted money. I like him on the honor system for me. I think that's more torturous. *grins*

To me, cages like this are great for showers, not growers. If your balls and cock shrink A LOT (his go from 6.25" erect to 1.5" soft, sometimes), then a cage like this will not work.

One of my favorite people to talk to on the subject is Sarah at Male Chastity Blog (malechastityblog.com). She and her hubby have been doing the chastity thing for quite some time.

Good luck!

_____________________________

Nookie
--
https://datingkinky.com

I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to GoodBoi921)

Post #: 2

RE: A few questions about chastity - 12/20/2014 3:04:28 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

BABY OIL, and lots of it. You will need it to prevent chafing for long term chastity. My secondary advice is you can get those cheaper or a variation of them on extreme restraints. You go to the collarspace homepage and click the new tab, "Toys" under "Friends" and it'll take you to the site. As long as you keep baby oil in tow and get used to showering with it on you should be fine. Best of luck!

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 12/20/2014 3:24:26 PM >

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to NookieNotes)

Post #: 3

RE: A few questions about chastity - 12/20/2014 6:46:05 PM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

Who told you wearing it would restore sensation to your cock? If it's been a problem have you talked to a doctor about it?

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to GoodBoi921)

Post #: 4

RE: A few questions about chastity - 12/21/2014 2:48:17 AM

GoodBoi921

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/24/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

Who told you wearing it would restore sensation to your cock? If it's been a problem have you talked to a doctor about it?

I've read that not touching yourself would restore sensitivity (although the actual duration of the abstinence period tends to vary). I have a bit of trouble when it comes to getting it up with a partner, and by myself under several circumstances. The only way I imagine I'd be able to go without touching myself 100% is with a chastity device. It just makes sense to me that something that's already incredibly sensitive (or at least supposed to be) would become even more sensitive when not stimulated over a period. Other parts of our bodies work like that, such as our sensitivity to light. Sit in the dark for a long time, the light blinds you when you're exposed to it again.

(in reply to thishereboi)

Post #: 5

RE: A few questions about chastity - 12/21/2014 4:07:34 AM

NookieNotes

Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoodBoi921

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

Who told you wearing it would restore sensation to your cock? If it's been a problem have you talked to a doctor about it?

I've read that not touching yourself would restore sensitivity (although the actual duration of the abstinence period tends to vary). I have a bit of trouble when it comes to getting it up with a partner, and by myself under several circumstances. The only way I imagine I'd be able to go without touching myself 100% is with a chastity device. It just makes sense to me that something that's already incredibly sensitive (or at least supposed to be) would become even more sensitive when not stimulated over a period. Other parts of our bodies work like that, such as our sensitivity to light. Sit in the dark for a long time, the light blinds you when you're exposed to it again.

As someone who has worked with men with ED and PE and helped them moved past this, what you are doing is playing with fire.

Most of ED is in the brain. You need to change the cause, not your symptoms.

Did you know that after liposuction, for example, many people actually gain all the weight back and more? That's with the fat cells GONE. Yeah.

Because people choose an "easy" fix for something without changing the underlying cause, they still have the habits that gave them the extra fat cells to begin with. What's even worse? They develop even more of those cells in the abdomen area, which is the least healthy area to carry weight. They are worse off, after.

I suggest you do more research. I would NEVER NEVER NEVER lock a boy up (for a lengthy period of time) to try to cure his ED. That is the LAST thing I would do, unless I was secretly hoping to prolong/deepen it.

If you don't use it, you lose it.

_____________________________

Nookie
--
https://datingkinky.com

I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to GoodBoi921)

Post #: 6

RE: A few questions about chastity - 12/21/2014 5:36:39 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoodBoi921

I have a bit of trouble when it comes to getting it up with a partner, and by myself under several circumstances.

Like thishereboi suggested, you need to see a doctor. Don't be a wuss about it either--you could be having a problem with your prostate; this could be symptomatic of any number of things, which if caught early could be treatable.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

As someone who has worked with men with ED and PE and helped them moved past this, what you are doing is playing with fire.

Most of ED is in the brain. You need to change the cause, not your symptoms.
<snip>
If you don't use it, you lose it.

Chastity slaves I have spoken with, who have gone for long periods being locked up, have admitted they can no longer get stiffies. The best they can manage is to get a semi or a near-erection that doesn't last long.
These are slaves who were either denied natural intimate relations in the form of sexual intercourse, or who couldn't get aroused by the thought of vanilla sex anymore, only BDSM masochism or bondage.
A friend of mine became asexual after just 2 years. He has no desire for sex whatsoever, no libido. It's possible there was a gradual onset of ED before then.
Another slave was married for over 15 years, and did get regular sexual relief with his Mistress-wife, but can no longer perform sexually since his divorce.

Regardless of which portion of male sexual dysfunction is psychological or physiological, the fact remains these men are damaged goods.
The only Domme who will want them is one who either doesn't need them as her primary sex partner or who otherwise doesn't have a vested interest in their well-being, and/or who enjoys having an emasculated male sub.

ETA: I see that you are gay and at 22, you are at your sexual prime. There has to be something else going on here. What makes you think that any non-hetero Dom will want a male sub who has been conditioned for chastity and has gotten himself addicted to wearing a cockcage? None that I have ever heard of. Not to mention having untreated sexual dysfunction(s).

< Message edited by FieryOpal -- 12/21/2014 5:45:32 AM >

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to NookieNotes)

Post #: 7

RE: A few questions about chastity - 12/21/2014 9:36:46 AM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

The first link looks like an interesting device but it has a urethral tube and so only meant for occasional short time use. DO NOT MESS WITH YOUR URETHRA. Anything inserted into the urethra needs to be sterile and that includes the gel used for application. That gel will dry out quickly and rub the delicate skin inside the urethra making it bleed. It will quickly become none sterile leaving you very vulnerable to a very serious infection.

Look at where the locks are on both of these devices. Both will show through your pants because they protrude from the front. You need a device with an off centre lock if you are going to wear it out in public.

Why 3 months? Why not a week or just a few days to begin with? Have you heard the saying, "don't use it, loose it"? Dominants do put submissives into long term chastity (whatever long term is deemed to be) but those subs will be regularly milked to stop their frustration. Blue balls is often a consequence of long term chastity and chaffing problems or the sudden onset of allergies to the material being used is common.

How about a little self restraint? If you know you can reach for the key and unlock yourself; what's the difference ?

_____________________________

My store is http://e-stimstore.com

(in reply to FieryOpal)

Post #: 8

RE: A few questions about chastity - 12/21/2014 11:53:58 AM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

lose not loose

_____________________________

My store is http://e-stimstore.com

(in reply to MariaB)

Post #: 9

RE: A few questions about chastity - 12/21/2014 12:49:52 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

If your worry is ED, you do NOT need a chastity device, you need an Aneros or similar prostate stimulator. And it's important to clean the pipes every two weeks for prostate health, so you're countering what will assist you in such regard. Extended chastity is for men who have no history of prostate cancer and have no issue with not getting/attaining an erection or sexual release if desired by the D.
ETA;You really should double check with your primary care physician when someone suggests that a kink can assist you medically. No matter how renowned the D is.

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 12/21/2014 1:23:56 PM >

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to MariaB)

Post #: 10

RE: A few questions about chastity - 12/21/2014 1:31:12 PM

shysissyJessica

Posts: 9
Joined: 12/20/2014
Status: offline

sissy *so* scared of chastity but most Mistresses i have met so far say it will make me even more submissive and it will be for my own good. definitely interested in a cage, not sure could go more than a few days without being milked :/ sort of think whenever i find a Mistress who i love and feel very submissive towards and can let go with, i would do it for her xx hope ok to post here xx

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 11

RE: A few questions about chastity - 12/21/2014 1:31:42 PM

NookieNotes

Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

ETA;You really should double check with your primary care physician when someone suggests that a kink can assist you medically. No matter how renowned the D is.

This. ^^^^

_____________________________

Nookie
--
https://datingkinky.com

I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 12

RE: A few questions about chastity - 12/21/2014 2:12:33 PM

GotSteel

Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoodBoi921
I have a bit of trouble when it comes to getting it up with a partner, and by myself under several circumstances.

Like thishereboi suggested, you need to see a doctor. Don't be a wuss about it either--you could be having a problem with your prostate; this could be symptomatic of any number of things, which if caught early could be treatable.

This could be physical or mental, like the lady said ruling out physical issues is a really good idea. If it's not physical then *shrug* maybe a chastity device could get you in the right head space, I wouldn't know about that.

But generally it's a matter of being uncomfortable with your sexuality and the fix has everything to do with getting comfortable with who you are.

(in reply to FieryOpal)

Post #: 13

RE: A few questions about chastity - 12/21/2014 3:14:00 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

I've read that not touching yourself would restore sensitivity (although the actual duration of the abstinence period tends to vary). I have a bit of trouble when it comes to getting it up with a partner, and by myself under several circumstances. The only way I imagine I'd be able to go without touching myself 100% is with a chastity device. It just makes sense to me that something that's already incredibly sensitive (or at least supposed to be) would become even more sensitive when not stimulated over a period. Other parts of our bodies work like that, such as our sensitivity to light. Sit in the dark for a long time, the light blinds you when you're exposed to it again.

True, but I'm thinking that the thing that needs to become more sensitive is your mind, not your penis. Sensitive to what fires you up, that is. It's so, so easy to block that vital 'mental sensitivity' ....

I've generally thought that the solution is a) to forget about what is or is not happening with your dick and b) just concentrate on what turns you on. In practice, and if you're on your own, that means doing some net research, imagining and fantasising. If you're with your partner, you take your dick out of the game altogether until it - and you - forget about performance entirely. Lots of finger and tongue work, for instance. She'll probably be able to bear that till you feel 'cured' ;-) ... which you almost certainly will be.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to GoodBoi921)

Post #: 14

RE: A few questions about chastity - 12/21/2014 3:34:07 PM

ReinRaus

Posts: 69
Joined: 4/11/2014
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I've generally thought that the solution is a) to forget about what is or is not happening with your dick and b) just concentrate on what turns you on.

Right. If you're otherwise physically healthy (which you should really go confirm with the doctor instead of assuming you just need a change of pace) sometimes ED occurs when a man is simply obsessed with his cock to the point of blocking out genuine arousal. Either by worrying about its performance or have cock-centric sex that focuses on getting off instead of sharing pleasure with a partner.

If this ends up being the case for you, going your route with the cock cage experiment is just going to continue making matters worse. You might think you're taking your mind off of touching yourself, but realistically your locked up penis will be on your mind constantly. If you talk to men who have been locked up, I do believe a good percentage will tell you it leads to obsessively being reminded of your constrained situation. This is of course part of the appeal, but the point I'm making is that locking up will most likely not lead to forgetting about touching yourself until, at your convenience, you feel like trying again.

This continuous thinking that revolves around your genitals and their performance could be your problem. Hopefully when you masturbate you fantasize about certain things instead of just thinking about yourself and reaching the goal of orgasm. This teaches your body to respond to physical stimulus alone instead of getting aroused by the thought of intimacy and sharing pleasure.

I think Peon is offering really constructive advice. Maybe instead of the cage, try to explore tease and denial with yourself. Edge for days and explore what fantasies get your blood flowing properly. Let that keep you hard and don't release physically until you feel it should be an award for tuning into proper eroticism and not treading masturbation/sex as purely something to get yourself off. Get back in touch with your sensuality, not in touch with your cock.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 15

RE: A few questions about chastity - 12/21/2014 5:30:40 PM

NookieNotes

Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

Or are you addicted to porn and jacking off? That's a whole 'nother set of issues.

Are you still getting stiffies in the morning when you wake? That is an indicator (according to a doctor I know) that your physical system is working, it's just the wiring (mental) that's crossed.

_____________________________

Nookie
--
https://datingkinky.com

I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to ReinRaus)

Post #: 16

RE: A few questions about chastity - 12/21/2014 6:21:50 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

Or are you addicted to porn and jacking off? That's a whole 'nother set of issues.

Are you still getting stiffies in the morning when you wake? That is an indicator (according to a doctor I know) that your physical system is working, it's just the wiring (mental) that's crossed.

Agreed, pretty sure he can describe it to his pcp and then he might get a referral to a specialist who can properly diagnose. Depending on the diagnosis he can follow the advice of others but I don't think advising someone medically with kink is a good idea. If he likes chastity it's one thing but to say that or ball stretching or cbt for example will "assist" with a medical issue that he is trying to surmise is something different entirely. The only additional info I can give as far as prostate stimulation, its benefits and why many medical professionals are reintroducing it is this. "Milking" is good.
Prostate Massage, Milking and Prostate Health from WebMD.

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 12/21/2014 6:22:51 PM >

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to NookieNotes)

Post #: 17

RE: A few questions about chastity - 12/21/2014 6:46:13 PM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shysissyJessica

sissy *so* scared of chastity but most Mistresses i have met so far say it will make me even more submissive and it will be for my own good. definitely interested in a cage, not sure could go more than a few days without being milked :/ sort of think whenever i find a Mistress who i love and feel very submissive towards and can let go with, i would do it for her xx hope ok to post here xx

Many Dommes do not use chastity devices on their subs and prefer to enforce orgasm control through the honor system, like myself. To me, this is a better sign of submission and of compliance with my wishes. If you are afraid of having to wear a cockcage, then don't. This is not a mandatory training exercise that Dommes put all their male subs through in order to effectuate a D/s. (There aren't any.) It's a personal preference of each individual Mistress.

You speak about love, which is sweet, but please don't confuse love with submission. Or submission with not having limits of your own.

Could it be that the reason why you are meeting Dommes who tell you this is because you have expressed yourself as "i exist to be humiliated for the amusement of women. this is real for me, i am a pathetic sissy and must do as i am told."
While this is how you feel about yourself now, and if you believe yourself to be a "pathetic sissy," humiliation fetish aside, what is the value of your submission when you have already given it away in your own mind? When your consent isn't even a factor? Isn't your submission worthy of being valued by your future Mistress?
I know this isn't how you mean it, but it does touch a raw nerve in women when sissies come across as if being less manly/more womanly automatically equates to humiliation.

I'll put it a different way. If I were out to humiliate men for my own perverse pleasure, then that wouldn't make me a Dominant woman. It would just make me a man-hater. This sort of sexist mentality has no place in BDSM, and it sure doesn't have any place in a (non-abusive) D/s relationship. In BDSM, there is a foundational buzzword of SSC-Safe, Sane, Consensual. (There's also RACK & PRICK, but I don't feel these are appropriate for inexperienced newbies.) It's Consensuality which separates BDSM from vanilla abuse and abusive behavior. Your desire for humiliation must be consensual, so seek out a suitable match for yourself, and don't go with any random Mistress who will have you.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to shysissyJessica)

Post #: 18

RE: A few questions about chastity - 12/21/2014 6:52:53 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

quote:

ORIGINAL: shysissyJessica

sissy *so* scared of chastity but most Mistresses i have met so far say it will make me even more submissive and it will be for my own good. definitely interested in a cage, not sure could go more than a few days without being milked :/ sort of think whenever i find a Mistress who i love and feel very submissive towards and can let go with, i would do it for her xx hope ok to post here xx

Many Dommes do not use chastity devices on their subs and prefer to enforce orgasm control through the honor system, like myself. To me, this is a better sign of submission and of compliance with my wishes. If you are afraid of having to wear a cockcage, then don't. This is not a mandatory training exercise that Dommes put all their male subs through in order to effectuate a D/s. (There aren't any.) It's a personal preference of each individual Mistress.

You speak about love, which is sweet, but please don't confuse love with submission. Or submission with not having limits of your own.

Could it be that the reason why you are meeting Dommes who tell you this is because you have expressed yourself as "i exist to be humiliated for the amusement of women. this is real for me, i am a pathetic sissy and must do as i am told."
While this is how you feel about yourself now, and if you believe yourself to be a "pathetic sissy," humiliation fetish aside, what is the value of your submission when you have already given it away in your own mind? When your consent isn't even a factor? Isn't your submission worthy of being valued by your future Mistress?
I know this isn't how you mean it, but it does touch a raw nerve in women when sissies come across as if being less manly/more womanly automatically equates to humiliation.

I'll put it a different way. If I were out to humiliate men for my own perverse pleasure, then that wouldn't make me a Dominant woman. It would just make me a man-hater. This sort of sexist mentality has no place in BDSM, and it sure doesn't have any place in a (non-abusive) D/s relationship. In BDSM, there is a foundational buzzword of SSC-Safe, Sane, Consensual. (There's also RACK & PRICK, but I don't feel these are appropriate for inexperienced newbies.) It's Consensuality which separates BDSM from vanilla abuse and abusive behavior. Your desire for humiliation must be consensual, so seek out a suitable match for yourself, and don't go with any random Mistress who will have you.

To sissy jessica, if you wish to find a Domme to love then do that, but doing it through online training is going to be an incredible feat. It would mean going out and actually meeting people who's interests align with yours.
To Fiery, with respect, that is your opinion, many Dominant women would disagree. And I am thinking of using a cock cage on my virgin although it is apparent (he is a virgin) that his cock belongs to me anyway. Different strokes, different folks. My pleasure is quite perverse.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to FieryOpal)

Post #: 19

RE: A few questions about chastity - 12/21/2014 6:56:58 PM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

My pleasure is quite perverse.

There's the good (mutually beneficial) kind of perverse pleasure, and there's the bad (detrimental, uncaring) kind of perverse pleasure.

I'm sure you mean the former.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> A few questions about chastity

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094