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Quick shifts to private mail - 12/24/2014 8:40:29 PM

myker

Posts: 29
Joined: 8/13/2011
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Hello,

I'm not sure if this is the best place to ask this question. If not, I hope the moderators will move it to a more appropriate section.

I haven't been active here for a while, but recently began to approach women on the other side once again. A high percentage of them have attempted to quickly move the conversation away from this site and onto private email instead. I don't recall this occurring in the past, and this makes me feel a little suspicious. Is there anything I should be aware of regarding this?

Thanks

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RE: Quick shifts to private mail - 12/24/2014 11:54:00 PM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

It's not always a red flag. This site's email system sucks and always has. I much prefer to use my own email rather than a website's internal private messaging system because I can archive and sort it as I please.

That being said, there are those who will attempt to get you to move to a site that requires you to join and pay some kind of fee. It should be pretty clear what their interest in you might be and you can act accordingly. Follow common sense and if something doesn't feel right then it probably isn't.

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RE: Quick shifts to private mail - 12/25/2014 12:14:04 AM

ThirdWheelWanted

Posts: 391
Joined: 4/23/2014
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The other reason to move to private mail/IM is if they're scammers. It's my understanding, and correct me if I'm wrong, that most sites won't take action against a scammer who doesn't commit their scam on the site itself. So if they wait till they have you on Yahoo to start hitting you up for relocation expenses, release fees, rent money, etc. CS doesn't ban them for it.

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RE: Quick shifts to private mail - 12/25/2014 12:15:46 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

Like stef said, if a Domme tries to move you over to a paying site that you ordinarily wouldn't join, I'd politely decline. I've gone back & forth with a few subs who were already on a free dating site. If we've gotten far enough along to where I'm willing to let them see my pics, I keep facial ones on vanilla dating sites with more informative profiles. Not only Dommes, but there are those who "collect" e-mail addresses for marketing purposes, so I would advise you to use a throwaway e-mail address and not one of your primaries (just like you'd give out a disposable cell number and not your main one to anybody you don't know very well).

Lately I've had to inform a few people who've contacted me that I'm phasing out my messaging on this site and am in the process of transitioning my on-line friends over to e-mail (those with whom I've already been messaging), but that was to let them know I won't be exchanging more messages with users on a regular basis here who don't already have my EMA since my main priority is to find a sub, not make more on-line friends. I didn't want to be rude (blunt, but not rude).

If something doesn't feel right, then trust your instincts.

< Message edited by FieryOpal -- 12/25/2014 12:17:23 AM >

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RE: Quick shifts to private mail - 12/25/2014 12:21:32 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
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~ FR ~ Almost forgot... Merry Christmas!

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RE: Quick shifts to private mail - 12/25/2014 5:30:51 AM

myker

Posts: 29
Joined: 8/13/2011
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Thank you all, and Merry Christmas!

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RE: Quick shifts to private mail - 12/25/2014 11:07:34 PM

MissSinfulCyn

Posts: 13
Joined: 7/20/2011
Status: offline

I agree with what has already been stated. I would understand switching to instant messenger relatively quickly since private chat on here can be quite glitchy, but the jump to email would raise a few flags for me as well.

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RE: Quick shifts to private mail - 12/26/2014 1:30:27 AM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
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I've been messaged by the same entity, twice, using the same location and VERY similar photos.

The message is never anything more than: "Hi wats up. i cant stand typing here hit me up on yim (Michael deleted)"

I just explain that I don't use YIM (and haven't for about a decade). That scares 'em off.

Michael

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RE: Quick shifts to private mail - 12/26/2014 6:14:32 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThirdWheelWanted

The other reason to move to private mail/IM is if they're scammers. It's my understanding, and correct me if I'm wrong, that most sites won't take action against a scammer who doesn't commit their scam on the site itself. So if they wait till they have you on Yahoo to start hitting you up for relocation expenses, release fees, rent money, etc. CS doesn't ban them for it.

OP, it's one thing if you have been exchanging messages and are given the other party's e-mail address as an optional fallback method to stay in touch in the event they leave this site or if a site should cease to exist suddenly, and you don't have a way to reach them on another site. If a Domme tries to move you off site, then I would be cynical about her motives. I have a friend who was contacted by a Cyber Domme to discuss the arrangements for a rendezvous which entailed expenses. He wasn't sure what he would be expected to cover and which portion she should be responsible for since she was the one who proposed it. (This is why he was consulting me on how he should handle the negotiations.) For whatever reason, she didn't want to exchange facial pics here by attaching one to a message and insisted on doing it by e-mail. He became suspicious as to why she would need his e-mail address. He never heard from her again after that. He didn't tell me who the Domme was until after a month had gone by, and I informed him that he was being played by a Cyber Domme who frequented chatrooms (by her own admission), and that she wasn't a lifestyle Domme looking for a male sub partner IRT, and that (again by her own admission) she didn't have sex with men, which is the bait she had been dangling and what he had assumed would have been part of the deal.

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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
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RE: Quick shifts to private mail - 12/26/2014 4:04:49 PM

myker

Posts: 29
Joined: 8/13/2011
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Update: This morning I followed through with one of the alleged women that required a quick shift to private email. After exchanging a total of 16 messages in private email which included sexy photos of her and suggestions of sexual activities on the immediate horizon, she ultimately required that I join a pay site. I politely declined, and haven't heard back from her.

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RE: Quick shifts to private mail - 12/26/2014 4:27:49 PM

MissAelle

Posts: 17
Joined: 1/3/2014
Status: offline

Even if they aren't scammers, I remain wary of shifting to other methods of communication too quickly. If Sub Boy 007 turns out to be a total douchebag, it's much easier to get rid of him if I haven't given him my kik, email and skype within five minutes of making his acquaintance. :)

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RE: Quick shifts to private mail - 12/27/2014 8:57:46 PM

seekingreality

Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: myker

Hello,

I'm not sure if this is the best place to ask this question. If not, I hope the moderators will move it to a more appropriate section.

I haven't been active here for a while, but recently began to approach women on the other side once again. A high percentage of them have attempted to quickly move the conversation away from this site and onto private email instead. I don't recall this occurring in the past, and this makes me feel a little suspicious. Is there anything I should be aware of regarding this?

Thanks

Like anything else, use common sense.

There may be valid reasons someone wants to use private email (and you should create a unique gmail address for that exchange rather than your normal email).

There is absolutely no reason to have to sign up for a site to exchange photos or emails. if anyone asks you to sign up for a site, it's a scam.

If they talk to much about kink too fast; it they sound generic; if they mention money, it's a scam.

(in reply to myker)

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Post #: 12