RE: I've Given Up On Free Spankings (And I'm A Lot Happier)

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RE: I've Given Up On Free Spankings (And I'm A Lot Happ... - 12/31/2014 9:41:33 AM

Mattyxyz

Posts: 2
Joined: 9/14/2006
Status: offline

The problem with pro dommes is the relationship will never get past one of pro / client.

There are times when I have met and played with them on the scene and I have not seen anything in a good 95% of them that would justify spending £150 an hour on them. For me for that kind of money you would expect them to look after themselves and be well presented. I'd expect them to have access to a full range of proper equipment and be experts in what they re practicing.

Sadly in my experience this is often not the case.

(in reply to cloudboy)

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Post #: 21

RE: I've Given Up On Free Spankings (And I'm A Lot Happ... - 12/31/2014 11:25:28 AM

MissKatya

Posts: 341
Joined: 12/21/2007
From: NYC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mattyxyz

The problem with pro dommes is the relationship will never get past one of pro / client.

If you go to see a Pro-Domme with the expectation of it going further than a "pro/client" relationship, that is where it becomes a problem. You don't go to your doctor/lawyer/mechanic with the intention of anything more than a business transaction so why would you expect anything different from a Pro?

But not to get any hopes up high for some but I had a few personal subs that originally started as tributed sessions. It's not common but every once in a while, someone will come around that will exceed in servitude and they are worth the transition into a personal submissive.

quote:

There are times when I have met and played with them on the scene and I have not seen anything in a good 95% of them that would justify spending £150 an hour on them. For me for that kind of money you would expect them to look after themselves and be well presented. I'd expect them to have access to a full range of proper equipment and be experts in what they re practicing.

Sadly in my experience this is often not the case.

It sounds like you aren't looking in the right place. I know quite a few Pro-Dommes in the UK who are suprassed in appearance, experience and equipment.

_____________________________

"The desire to inflict pain, that is all that is uppermost"-Albert Fish

(in reply to Mattyxyz)

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Post #: 22

RE: I've Given Up On Free Spankings (And I'm A Lot Happ... - 12/31/2014 2:37:22 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mattyxyz

The problem with pro dommes is the relationship will never get past one of pro / client.

OP prizes discretion. I don't think he WANTS the relationship to go past pro / client.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Mattyxyz)

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Post #: 23

RE: I've Given Up On Free Spankings (And I'm A Lot Happ... - 1/1/2015 8:17:43 PM

EroticHypnotist

Posts: 25
Joined: 10/28/2009
From: London, UK
Status: offline

It's more or less the same with most fetishes, I think. With hypnosis, there's no shortage of male erotic hypnotists posting at regular intervals seeking female (Born female) subjects to play with ... for free. But getting mainly men respondents. The few ladies seeking to be hypnotized can vote with their feet. They need only state their interest in their profiles and be wooed from all directions.

The female hypnotists are in short supply for the hundreds of men with a hypno fetish. They name their price, and their wish-list, and get it. Again, many of the would be subjects are already attached, and seeking a pick and drop thrill, offering nothing in return. Not even being available at the end of the phone in times of trouble. It's a very uneven exchange and yes, the pay-domme route wins.

I imagine it's the same with many other things where the "sub" can't fathom why women aren't lining up to be served. It's a fair weather kind of service with little genuine royalty.

I'm pleased for you that you've fond what you seek.

Cleo

quote:

ORIGINAL: SecretInNYC

I'm sure some men would find your response either disheartening or harsh, but I find it refreshingly honest. It's something I did not consider and will have to file away for future reference. From my vantage point, I simply don't want to put up with the bullshit. Going the pro route is the logical cure.

I do find it interesting that women spanking bottoms don't have the same problem. There are plenty of men who, in effect, are service Tops. Spanking whoever wants it and doing the heavy lifting. No complaints from them. I wonder why the gender gap.

_____________________________

http://www.queencleopatra.co.uk

Live Face To Face Hypnosis Sessions in London.

(in reply to SecretInNYC)

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Post #: 24

RE: I've Given Up On Free Spankings (And I'm A Lot Happ... - 1/1/2015 9:54:09 PM

HaremEmperor

Posts: 19
Joined: 12/5/2014
Status: offline

Aah the case of we both like my hand on their ass...hehe I couldn't help myself just had to say it.

(in reply to GotSteel)

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Post #: 25

RE: I've Given Up On Free Spankings (And I'm A Lot Happ... - 1/2/2015 2:50:15 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: SecretInNYC

I do find it interesting that women spanking bottoms don't have the same problem. There are plenty of men who, in effect, are service Tops. Spanking whoever wants it and doing the heavy lifting. No complaints from them. I wonder why the gender gap.

Because women are still geared towards the relationship outside of sex and play.

Caveat: that's not all women...femDom or femsub...just the majority.

Why is there a gender gap with pay-for-play and with female sex worker:male client? Supply and demand. Most women can get sex for free. Why should this be any different when it comes to BDSM play?

Male subs primarily want a female Top, not a male. Men ordinarily have more upper-body strength.

If you have no relationship currency to offer, no actual submission either, then what does a man have to offer a Domme that she can't get from 50 other sub-bottoms?

It's a no-brainer.

Add to that the fact that (as far as I can see) there are far more male subs looking for female dommes than the reverse and it's going to be much harder for those men to find a domme. It's far easier for us female subs - actually it's far easier for us females PERIOD - we're spoiled for choice.

I am responding to your last line as it is something I hear all the time from men, the dreaded "How could you be single, uncollared, taken, owned, whatever".

I always say don't judge by appearances or brains, etc. because as far as my experience goes, I don't think it's easier for women. Especially as you get older and much wiser. If you just want sex or play, maybe it is still easy.

Not easy if you want someone of quality who fits you. I am not wired for casual so I have to wait till I find someone worth it.

This entitled attitude some women have just keeps creating misperceptions with men.

Remember, men have it tough too.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 1/2/2015 2:52:49 AM >

(in reply to LiveSpark)

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Post #: 26

RE: I've Given Up On Free Spankings (And I'm A Lot Happ... - 1/2/2015 7:42:02 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: SecretInNYC

I do find it interesting that women spanking bottoms don't have the same problem. There are plenty of men who, in effect, are service Tops. Spanking whoever wants it and doing the heavy lifting. No complaints from them. I wonder why the gender gap.

Because women are still geared towards the relationship outside of sex and play.

Caveat: that's not all women...femDom or femsub...just the majority.

Why is there a gender gap with pay-for-play and with female sex worker:male client? Supply and demand. Most women can get sex for free. Why should this be any different when it comes to BDSM play?

Male subs primarily want a female Top, not a male. Men ordinarily have more upper-body strength.

If you have no relationship currency to offer, no actual submission either, then what does a man have to offer a Domme that she can't get from 50 other sub-bottoms?

It's a no-brainer.

Add to that the fact that (as far as I can see) there are far more male subs looking for female dommes than the reverse and it's going to be much harder for those men to find a domme. It's far easier for us female subs - actually it's far easier for us females PERIOD - we're spoiled for choice.

I am responding to your last line as it is something I hear all the time from men, the dreaded "How could you be single, uncollared, taken, owned, whatever".

I always say don't judge by appearances or brains, etc. because as far as my experience goes, I don't think it's easier for women. Especially as you get older and much wiser. If you just want sex or play, maybe it is still easy.

Not easy if you want someone of quality who fits you. I am not wired for casual so I have to wait till I find someone worth it.

This entitled attitude some women have just keeps creating misperceptions with men.

Remember, men have it tough too.

Nicely said, red...

(in reply to sexyred1)

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Post #: 27

RE: I've Given Up On Free Spankings (And I'm A Lot Happ... - 1/2/2015 8:03:30 AM

LiveSpark

Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: SecretInNYC

I do find it interesting that women spanking bottoms don't have the same problem. There are plenty of men who, in effect, are service Tops. Spanking whoever wants it and doing the heavy lifting. No complaints from them. I wonder why the gender gap.

Because women are still geared towards the relationship outside of sex and play.

Caveat: that's not all women...femDom or femsub...just the majority.

Why is there a gender gap with pay-for-play and with female sex worker:male client? Supply and demand. Most women can get sex for free. Why should this be any different when it comes to BDSM play?

Male subs primarily want a female Top, not a male. Men ordinarily have more upper-body strength.

If you have no relationship currency to offer, no actual submission either, then what does a man have to offer a Domme that she can't get from 50 other sub-bottoms?

It's a no-brainer.

Add to that the fact that (as far as I can see) there are far more male subs looking for female dommes than the reverse and it's going to be much harder for those men to find a domme. It's far easier for us female subs - actually it's far easier for us females PERIOD - we're spoiled for choice.

I am responding to your last line as it is something I hear all the time from men, the dreaded "How could you be single, uncollared, taken, owned, whatever".

I always say don't judge by appearances or brains, etc. because as far as my experience goes, I don't think it's easier for women. Especially as you get older and much wiser. If you just want sex or play, maybe it is still easy.

Not easy if you want someone of quality who fits you. I am not wired for casual so I have to wait till I find someone worth it.

This entitled attitude some women have just keeps creating misperceptions with men.

Remember, men have it tough too.

Hey woah I don't feel entitled please don't put words in my mouth. All I mean is that statistically we women have a greater chance of finding what we're looking for. Yes there are a LOT of duds, fakes an wannabes but that there's a larger pool means we have a better shot. That's ALL I meant nothing more.

< Message edited by LiveSpark -- 1/2/2015 8:19:50 AM >

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to sexyred1)

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Post #: 28

RE: I've Given Up On Free Spankings (And I'm A Lot Happ... - 1/2/2015 8:26:43 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: SecretInNYC

I do find it interesting that women spanking bottoms don't have the same problem. There are plenty of men who, in effect, are service Tops. Spanking whoever wants it and doing the heavy lifting. No complaints from them. I wonder why the gender gap.

Because women are still geared towards the relationship outside of sex and play.

Caveat: that's not all women...femDom or femsub...just the majority.

Why is there a gender gap with pay-for-play and with female sex worker:male client? Supply and demand. Most women can get sex for free. Why should this be any different when it comes to BDSM play?

Male subs primarily want a female Top, not a male. Men ordinarily have more upper-body strength.

If you have no relationship currency to offer, no actual submission either, then what does a man have to offer a Domme that she can't get from 50 other sub-bottoms?

It's a no-brainer.

Add to that the fact that (as far as I can see) there are far more male subs looking for female dommes than the reverse and it's going to be much harder for those men to find a domme. It's far easier for us female subs - actually it's far easier for us females PERIOD - we're spoiled for choice.

I am responding to your last line as it is something I hear all the time from men, the dreaded "How could you be single, uncollared, taken, owned, whatever".

I always say don't judge by appearances or brains, etc. because as far as my experience goes, I don't think it's easier for women. Especially as you get older and much wiser. If you just want sex or play, maybe it is still easy.

Not easy if you want someone of quality who fits you. I am not wired for casual so I have to wait till I find someone worth it.

This entitled attitude some women have just keeps creating misperceptions with men.

Remember, men have it tough too.

Hey woah I don't feel entitled please don't put words in my mouth. All I mean is that statistically we women have a greater chance of finding what we're looking for. Yes there are a LOT of duds, fakes an wannabes but that there's a larger pool means we have a better shot. That's ALL I meant nothing more.

Thank GOD for those such as Moi!!!

(in reply to LiveSpark)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: I've Given Up On Free Spankings (And I'm A Lot Happ... - 1/2/2015 8:29:04 AM

LiveSpark

Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: SecretInNYC

I do find it interesting that women spanking bottoms don't have the same problem. There are plenty of men who, in effect, are service Tops. Spanking whoever wants it and doing the heavy lifting. No complaints from them. I wonder why the gender gap.

Because women are still geared towards the relationship outside of sex and play.

Caveat: that's not all women...femDom or femsub...just the majority.

Why is there a gender gap with pay-for-play and with female sex worker:male client? Supply and demand. Most women can get sex for free. Why should this be any different when it comes to BDSM play?

Male subs primarily want a female Top, not a male. Men ordinarily have more upper-body strength.

If you have no relationship currency to offer, no actual submission either, then what does a man have to offer a Domme that she can't get from 50 other sub-bottoms?

It's a no-brainer.

Add to that the fact that (as far as I can see) there are far more male subs looking for female dommes than the reverse and it's going to be much harder for those men to find a domme. It's far easier for us female subs - actually it's far easier for us females PERIOD - we're spoiled for choice.

I am responding to your last line as it is something I hear all the time from men, the dreaded "How could you be single, uncollared, taken, owned, whatever".

I always say don't judge by appearances or brains, etc. because as far as my experience goes, I don't think it's easier for women. Especially as you get older and much wiser. If you just want sex or play, maybe it is still easy.

Not easy if you want someone of quality who fits you. I am not wired for casual so I have to wait till I find someone worth it.

This entitled attitude some women have just keeps creating misperceptions with men.

Remember, men have it tough too.

Hey woah I don't feel entitled please don't put words in my mouth. All I mean is that statistically we women have a greater chance of finding what we're looking for. Yes there are a LOT of duds, fakes an wannabes but that there's a larger pool means we have a better shot. That's ALL I meant nothing more.

Thank GOD for those such as Moi!!!

In all seriousness YES thank God for those such as you. Having trolled through masses of profiles holy cow it's good to see that guys like you exist. If not for the fora and our private convos I probably would have given up.

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: I've Given Up On Free Spankings (And I'm A Lot Happ... - 1/2/2015 8:47:11 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: SecretInNYC

I do find it interesting that women spanking bottoms don't have the same problem. There are plenty of men who, in effect, are service Tops. Spanking whoever wants it and doing the heavy lifting. No complaints from them. I wonder why the gender gap.

Because women are still geared towards the relationship outside of sex and play.

Caveat: that's not all women...femDom or femsub...just the majority.

Why is there a gender gap with pay-for-play and with female sex worker:male client? Supply and demand. Most women can get sex for free. Why should this be any different when it comes to BDSM play?

Male subs primarily want a female Top, not a male. Men ordinarily have more upper-body strength.

If you have no relationship currency to offer, no actual submission either, then what does a man have to offer a Domme that she can't get from 50 other sub-bottoms?

It's a no-brainer.

Add to that the fact that (as far as I can see) there are far more male subs looking for female dommes than the reverse and it's going to be much harder for those men to find a domme. It's far easier for us female subs - actually it's far easier for us females PERIOD - we're spoiled for choice.

I am responding to your last line as it is something I hear all the time from men, the dreaded "How could you be single, uncollared, taken, owned, whatever".

I always say don't judge by appearances or brains, etc. because as far as my experience goes, I don't think it's easier for women. Especially as you get older and much wiser. If you just want sex or play, maybe it is still easy.

Not easy if you want someone of quality who fits you. I am not wired for casual so I have to wait till I find someone worth it.

This entitled attitude some women have just keeps creating misperceptions with men.

Remember, men have it tough too.

Hey woah I don't feel entitled please don't put words in my mouth. All I mean is that statistically we women have a greater chance of finding what we're looking for. Yes there are a LOT of duds, fakes an wannabes but that there's a larger pool means we have a better shot. That's ALL I meant nothing more.

Thank GOD for those such as Moi!!!

In all seriousness YES thank God for those such as you. Having trolled through masses of profiles holy cow it's good to see that guys like you exist. If not for the fora and our private convos I probably would have given up.