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Looking for an opinion - 12/29/2014 12:04:45 AM

Californiafrowns

Posts: 4
Joined: 12/12/2014
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Is there a girl sub in here interested in telling me what you think about my profile? Strong points or questions/suggestions?

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 12/29/2014 6:09:11 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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I'm not a girl or a sub. For that matter, many of the females here don't like being called girls. I'll give you my opinion anyway.

1. Why did you white out your pupils? It looks odd.
2. You keep using the terms girl and guy. It makes me think of you as young. Is this the image you want to project? If not, what is?
3. I'm sorry, but the writing style in the first paragraph isn't how I'd write it. I'd say something like, "I know a young woman who got a gift of a camera worth thousands of dollars. I love the idea of doing that, as much as the creative work made possible by that."
4. The second paragraph sounds a bit off. The conclusion about you saying you'll tell her she's smart and she's right sounds cloying.
5. The third paragraph sounds boastful. And... I'm not sure how to express this, but it sounds like almost wistful on your part, as though you're describing the ideal D/s relationship from a woman's POV and throwing out good-sounding things without the experience to back them up.
6. "I respect your limits and am NOT interested in Sadism or Humiliation as a means of gratification." This sums up one of the issues I have. You say you'll respect her limits without even knowing what they are. You say that you Love blindfolds, sensory dep, and speech restrictions - how will you react if those are hard limits for her? Basically, it sounds like a lot of your profile assumes what she will like.
7. "I am interested in a monogamous situation ONLY - it creates less problems." That will strike a responsive chord in a lot of women. I'd keep that, but no need to cap the word "only".
8. " I will not watch Game of Thrones with you, pretend to like Disney, or go joyriding in your f.ucking Toyota Hiroshima. If I want a rush, I just get out of a chair when I'm not expecting it." What the hell is that for? If you don't like them, fine, but you can't be a crusty old man at 27. And are you announcing that you're racist?
9. "Whiskey turns you into two people: one of you's very nice, you'll go up to total strangers and say, "Come in, come in, sit down, for God's sake, have something. Have my bed." And then you'll go up to people you've known and loved all your life and say, "Get the fuck out of my house! Go on, get out! And leave a tip!"" Why? Are you saying that you will not date a drinker? Why would you say that - what is its purpose?
10. You're a Dom. I can see you looking for sub and switch women. Why Dommes? Do you intend to sub?
11. You get strong props from me for having an open mind. You list Conservative Politics, Liberal Politics, and Libertarian Politics in your Loves. To me that says that you value others' opinions.
12. Your profile text says that Humiliation is a hard limit. It shows up as Curious About in your fetish list.
13 Your fetish list shows a lot about you. I'd say something in your profile text like, "I love the outdoors and political thinking and discussion. I'm a sucker for any kind of music. I'm not a couch potato and I'm not into the bar scene." Explaining to women what topics you like to talk about, is a big draw - women love to talk. Saying you're not into the bar scene should work for you because in my experience, more men like barhopping and drinking than women.

Welcome to the site!

< Message edited by DarkSteven -- 12/29/2014 6:12:29 AM >

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 12/29/2014 6:51:29 AM

SinFix

Posts: 866
Joined: 4/1/2011
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^^^^ What he said...

Just a few things more though..
What exactly is she supposed to be grateful for?

And I suggest just clicking one of the looking for types.. I mean looking for dominant, submissive and switch just tells me you really don't give a damn, just you want any woman...

(in reply to DarkSteven)

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 12/29/2014 7:02:22 AM

RockaRolla

Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
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I can see looking for sub and/or switch females, but not dommes.

That said, a Dom/Domme relationship is not unheard of, but generally not sought out. Especially if it's supposed to be a monogamous relationship.

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 12/29/2014 7:02:33 AM

SweetForDaddy

Posts: 167
Joined: 5/17/2014
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Hi there!

Hmm, I like the font you used.

I like this also "You're a curious girl that knows how to be honest with yourself. Adventurous and interested in the unknown, you're looking for no-pressure conversations about everything really.". The no-pressure conversations bit stood out for me and that you show you want to talk about everything. I would take out all of the you are this and that bits , I don't personally like someone describing me before they know me. I'd prefer to read that sentence as being things you like personally or admire in other people. Being straightforward is good.

The content in general is all a bit confusing for me.

You say things like "you can count on me to understand what you're talking about, to tell you that you're smart, and when you're right." and "I am confident In the ability to COMPLETELY dominate your body and mind, and maintain great trust."

Its nice when someone thinks I'm smart, but the 'when you're right' bit is a bit irritating to me. Am I only right if you tell me that, do we not get to have different opinions about things?. And how can you be confident in your ability to 'completely dominate' the reader that you're trying to attract?

There are little anecdotes that I'm not sure of the meaning of and in places it reads like a rendition of a thousand profiles I've read before.

And this "I will not watch Game of Thrones with you, pretend to like Disney, or go joyriding in your f.ucking Toyota Hiroshima. If I want a rush, I just get out of a chair when I'm not expecting it. " probably isn't going to seduce many people.

I would re-write to be honest. I don't know who you are from this profile and I don't know what you're looking for.

(in reply to Californiafrowns)

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 12/29/2014 8:15:53 AM

Bhruic

Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
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All good advice. I would add...

"I am confident In the ability to COMPLETELY dominate your body and mind, and maintain great trust."

This statement is almost always not true, even for older Doms with much experience. It is also something desired, I think, by very few subs.

The statement also seems to imply that she will be COMPLETELY satisfied with your domination... but, as DarkSteven points out, if your hard limits are not hers, then that seems unlikely, and your COMPLETE domination of her body and mind may just be unsavory.

It is good to remember when we are looking for people with whom to share our lives and kinks, that they are, in fact, people... not characters in a fantasy.

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 12/29/2014 8:19:06 AM

Bhruic

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetForDaddy

You say things like "you can count on me to understand what you're talking about, to tell you that you're smart, and when you're right.

Its nice when someone thinks I'm smart, but the 'when you're right' bit is a bit irritating to me. Am I only right if you tell me that, do we not get to have different opinions about things?.

I totally agree. I could be wrong, but I think women would be much more engaged by a man who is intelligent and confident enough to admit when he is wrong, rather than allow when you are right.

In general, I consider it better in a profile to describe who you are, and what you can offer a relationship. People connect with someone because they find the other person interesting, not because they fit your criteria.

< Message edited by Bhruic -- 12/29/2014 8:22:22 AM >

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 12/29/2014 8:34:00 AM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetForDaddy

You say things like "you can count on me to understand what you're talking about, to tell you that you're smart, and when you're right.

Its nice when someone thinks I'm smart, but the 'when you're right' bit is a bit irritating to me. Am I only right if you tell me that, do we not get to have different opinions about things?.

I totally agree. I could be wrong, but I think women would be much more engaged by a man who is intelligent and confident enough to admit when he is wrong, rather than allow when you are right.

In general, I consider it better in a profile to describe who you are, and what you can offer a relationship. People connect with someone because they find the other person interesting, not because they fit your criteria.

RED!!!!

I am not ever wrrrr... that word you used... I may be less right, but never wru... wro... wrrrr... that word you used.

Jus sayin

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Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 12/29/2014 8:38:28 AM

Bhruic

Posts: 985
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From: Toronto, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetForDaddy

You say things like "you can count on me to understand what you're talking about, to tell you that you're smart, and when you're right.

Its nice when someone thinks I'm smart, but the 'when you're right' bit is a bit irritating to me. Am I only right if you tell me that, do we not get to have different opinions about things?.

I totally agree. I could be wrong, but I think women would be much more engaged by a man who is intelligent and confident enough to admit when he is wrong, rather than allow when you are right.

In general, I consider it better in a profile to describe who you are, and what you can offer a relationship. People connect with someone because they find the other person interesting, not because they fit your criteria.

RED!!!!

I am not ever wrrrr... that word you used... I may be less right, but never wru... wro... wrrrr... that word you used.

Jus sayin

Of course! Neither am I... but in the unlikely event such a thing ever occurred, I would certainly admit it.

Just because a sub is unlikely to experience one of my virtues is no reason to omit it from the list!

< Message edited by Bhruic -- 12/29/2014 8:41:57 AM >

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 12/29/2014 8:42:09 AM

ExiledTyrant

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I happily admit to being less right. It sucks being the oracle of all things... people don't like that. When I run across something I do not know and it piques my interest, it's a joyous occasion for me to learn something new.

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Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 12/29/2014 8:44:13 AM

Bhruic

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

I happily admit to being less right. It sucks being the oracle of all things... people don't like that. When I run across something I do not know and it piques my interest, it's a joyous occasion for me to learn something new.

Now you went and qualified a bold statement... tsk tsk.

Less right than someone else? Or less right than you previously thought you were?

< Message edited by Bhruic -- 12/29/2014 8:47:05 AM >

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 12/29/2014 8:54:13 AM

ExiledTyrant

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Um... actually, I like total ignorance of something. When I have knowledge of something, it is generally an all encompassing knowledge or I keep muh mouth shut... or fingers out of it... respectively.

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Gnothi Seauton
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Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 12/29/2014 10:40:49 AM

Bhruic

Posts: 985
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I hear ya. I was just joking :)

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 12/29/2014 1:40:02 PM

ExiledTyrant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic

I hear ya. I was just joking :)

It's all good, brother. Just had me thinking on it ;)

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Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 12/29/2014 9:21:00 PM

seekingreality

Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
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My two cents worth:

1. The photo is odd.
2. The whiskey comment makes you seem like an unstable alcoholic.
3. You'd benefit from telling something about your non-BDSM side. Your profile says you want to have "conversations about everything" but your profile doesn't give a sense of any of your interests outside BDSM.
4 .I am not sure what you're trying to communicate with "I will not watch Game of Thrones with you, pretend to like Disney, or go joyriding in your f.ucking Toyota Hiroshima" but generally people come off better listing what they like, rather than what they don't like.
5. I think you're trying to hard to convince everyone you're a dom. A little of your technique goes a long way.
6. Think of yourself a person first, rather than as a dom first. As someone else said, the part about wanting to have "conversations about everything" is more appealing than all the stuff about you being completely confident to dominate every aspect of a person. Honestly, the more you feel a need to declare how dominant you are, the less dominant you seem.

Good luck.

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 12/29/2014 11:58:19 PM

FieryOpal

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quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingreality

My two cents worth:

1. The photo is odd.
2. The whiskey comment makes you seem like an unstable alcoholic.
3. You'd benefit from telling something about your non-BDSM side. Your profile says you want to have "conversations about everything" but your profile doesn't give a sense of any of your interests outside BDSM.
4 .I am not sure what you're trying to communicate with "I will not watch Game of Thrones with you, pretend to like Disney, or go joyriding in your f.ucking Toyota Hiroshima" but generally people come off better listing what they like, rather than what they don't like.
5. I think you're trying to hard to convince everyone you're a dom. A little of your technique goes a long way.
6. Think of yourself a person first, rather than as a dom first. As someone else said, the part about wanting to have "conversations about everything" is more appealing than all the stuff about you being completely confident to dominate every aspect of a person. Honestly, the more you feel a need to declare how dominant you are, the less dominant you seem.

Good luck.

... and not only the useful advice you've gotten from other posters, but any submissive you interact with is a woman first and should be treated like a lady, then a submissive second. Learn how to act like a gentleman, and you'll stand out head & shoulders above the rest of the Insta-Doms on this or any other site.

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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 12/31/2014 11:05:30 AM

Kaliko

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Californiafrowns

Is there a girl sub in here interested in telling me what you think about my profile? Strong points or questions/suggestions?

I think your profile is fine. I kind of like the part about the Game of Thrones, etc. And I get the gratefulness piece of it.

After being around these and other sites for some time now, I've come to think that unless a profile is completely awful (which yours isn't) then I hesitate to tell somebody how to "fix" it. Because then it becomes a representation of what people on this thread would like to see, not necessarily what you would like to project. So my only advice would be to maybe not ask for somebody else's advice on how to present yourself, because then you're not presenting yourself.

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