How to Find a Sustainable Solution

How to Find a Sustainable Solution (Full Version)

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nicenerd -> How to Find a Sustainable Solution (12/29/2014 10:22:02 AM)
To me the ideal situation would be to have a attractive (i.e. hot) Femdom wife with whom I could live happily ever after. It seems like this ideal scenario is pretty unlikely, at least in my area. You can find a really hot Femdom, but she may be a pro, or if you're really lucky she may be lifestyle without any "financial fetish" but in my experience most ladies who fall into that are not seeking the sub as their husband and exclusive lifetime companion. OTOH, there are some ladies who are less attractive but meet the other criteria. My question is -- is it worth it to hold out for that ideal scenario, or is it better to bend a little in terms of either seeking a potential spouse or the things you're looking for in that spouse?

NookieNotes -> RE: How to Find a Sustainable Solution (12/29/2014 10:42:39 AM)
Only you can answer that for yourself. Why would what any of us have to say matter to you. Will it change what you will be happy with in your life? Gosh. I hope not. For me, I don't settle for less than ideal. Why would I? But then, I've never wanted a movie-star looking dude. I have far different priorities.

DarkSteven -> RE: How to Find a Sustainable Solution (12/29/2014 12:07:10 PM)
Lessee. You want a woman who is: Dominant Hot Lifestyle rather than pro Monogamous Looking for an LTR You're asking whether you should bend on criteria. I get the feeling that the main criterion up for grabs is the attractiveness one. Dunno. As my girlfriend NookieNotes said, it depends on you. Keep two things in mind: 1. Her looks will not hold up with age. Neither will your vision. 2. Weird things happen when people get involved. I've seen a monogamous straight woman attracted to both Tasha and myself. I've seen Dominant lesbians who were submissive to a male life partner. If you've got game, your playing field may be wider than you think.

FieryOpal -> RE: How to Find a Sustainable Solution (12/29/2014 1:08:47 PM)
Okay, a reality check is in order. What you seek is not undoable, not absolutely unrealistic, but not totally realistic either. There's nothing wrong with having ideals or wanting an ideal life partner. "Ideal" as in ideal for you, without feeling as though you're settling, and without making your partner feel as if you're settling for less than what you want. You're 30. You sound as if you're ready to settle down, but are you really? Are you content with where you are in life right now? Your career? Your finances? Plans for the future? You call yourself a nerd. Are you what you think your "ideal" Mistress would be looking for in a mate? What is your age range? What would hers be? I'll be honest with you. You might be able to find an attractive Domme in her 30s who's marriage-minded, but she can easily pull a virile male sub in his 40s who has a whole lot more going for him, along with emotional maturity (conceivably) and financial stability. What makes you the better catch for her? Will she find you as "hot" as you expect her to be for you? Nobody's looks are going to hold up in the long haul. That's besides the point. Personally, I find good health and overall fitness to be more important than looks. What if you meet a Domme who is a nerd like you? How important are character traits such as integrity to you? Sense of humor? Playfulness? Somebody whose company you can enjoy? Intelligence? You don't even mention intelligence in your profile other than a brief reference to wanting to find a "compatible" partner. What if you (think you) find your Holy Grail, but neither of you can carry on an interesting conversation with one another or don't share the same life goals? Then what?

nicenerd -> RE: How to Find a Sustainable Solution (12/29/2014 1:57:35 PM)
Thanks for the answers! :)

NookieNotes -> RE: How to Find a Sustainable Solution (12/29/2014 2:57:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Dunno. As my girlfriend NookieNotes said, it depends on you. Squee! He called me his girlfriend! fans self And to the OP: How much of that do you have to offer? What are you on the attractiveness scale? I figure I'm about a 7 - 7.5. I rate my Pet an 8 or more. But he has so much more going for him besides that... and well, I'm a FemDom, and in demand. Well, not so much demand, but I have more going for me than looks, too. Thank goodness. I'm 41. LOL!

eulero83 -> RE: How to Find a Sustainable Solution (12/29/2014 3:20:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nicenerd To me the ideal situation would be to have a attractive (i.e. hot) Femdom wife with whom I could live happily ever after. It seems like this ideal scenario is pretty unlikely, at least in my area. You can find a really hot Femdom, but she may be a pro, or if you're really lucky she may be lifestyle without any "financial fetish" but in my experience most ladies who fall into that are not seeking the sub as their husband and exclusive lifetime companion. OTOH, there are some ladies who are less attractive but meet the other criteria. My question is -- is it worth it to hold out for that ideal scenario, or is it better to bend a little in terms of either seeking a potential spouse or the things you're looking for in that spouse? In my opinion you are less likely to find her here than in real life, so if you don't want to take chances in falling in love for a non dominant girl search for bdsm events in your area and attend them. If you think love trumps your special needs start from hotness and see if you are lucky and her kinks will meet yours. p.s. I really wish you the best luck in your search.

eulero83 -> RE: How to Find a Sustainable Solution (12/29/2014 3:25:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FieryOpal I'll be honest with you. You might be able to find an attractive Domme in her 30s who's marriage-minded, but she can easily pull a virile male sub in his 40s who has a whole lot more going for him, along with emotional maturity (conceivably) and financial stability. What makes you the better catch for her? Will she find you as "hot" as you expect her to be for you? He's 30 he can still aim for a girl in her 20s... why should he settle for a spinster?

FieryOpal -> RE: How to Find a Sustainable Solution (12/29/2014 3:42:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eulero83 quote: ORIGINAL: FieryOpal I'll be honest with you. You might be able to find an attractive Domme in her 30s who's marriage-minded, but she can easily pull a virile male sub in his 40s who has a whole lot more going for him, along with emotional maturity (conceivably) and financial stability. What makes you the better catch for her? Will she find you as "hot" as you expect her to be for you? He's 30 he can still aim for a girl in her 20s... why should he settle for a spinster? If he's been targeting "Dommes" in their 20s, then that's why he hasn't been meeting with any success. How many women do you know in their 20s who are ready to settle down with a submissive male and/or who aren't materialistically minded? Remember, he's trying to find a lifestyle Domme for his mate, one who isn't (also) a (poly) Fin-Domme with multiple subs. A woman in her 30s is hardly a spinster. I'm almost tempted to use the "s" word about your post. Would you say that about a man in his 30s?--like yourself? A divorced woman in her 40s is hardly a spinster either (not that either she nor OP would make a suitable match, given generational gap/stage-of-life priority issues, assuming that OP wants to start a family of his own).

eulero83 -> RE: How to Find a Sustainable Solution (12/29/2014 4:21:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FieryOpal quote: ORIGINAL: eulero83 quote: ORIGINAL: FieryOpal I'll be honest with you. You might be able to find an attractive Domme in her 30s who's marriage-minded, but she can easily pull a virile male sub in his 40s who has a whole lot more going for him, along with emotional maturity (conceivably) and financial stability. What makes you the better catch for her? Will she find you as "hot" as you expect her to be for you? He's 30 he can still aim for a girl in her 20s... why should he settle for a spinster? If he's been targeting "Dommes" in their 20s, then that's why he hasn't been meeting with any success. How many women do you know in their 20s who are ready to settle down with a submissive male and/or who aren't materialistically minded? Remember, he's trying to find a lifestyle Domme for his mate, one who isn't (also) a (poly) Fin-Domme with multiple subs. A woman in her 30s is hardly a spinster. I'm almost tempted to use the "s" word about your post. Would you say that about a man in his 30s?--like yourself? A divorced woman in her 40s is hardly a spinster either (not that either she nor OP would make a suitable match, given generational gap/stage-of-life priority issues, assuming that OP wants to start a family of his own). I honestly just wanted to annoy you.

FieryOpal -> RE: How to Find a Sustainable Solution (12/29/2014 4:27:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eulero83 quote: ORIGINAL: FieryOpal quote: ORIGINAL: eulero83 He's 30 he can still aim for a girl in her 20s... why should he settle for a spinster? If he's been targeting "Dommes" in their 20s, then that's why he hasn't been meeting with any success. How many women do you know in their 20s who are ready to settle down with a submissive male and/or who aren't materialistically minded? Remember, he's trying to find a lifestyle Domme for his mate, one who isn't (also) a (poly) Fin-Domme with multiple subs. A woman in her 30s is hardly a spinster. I'm almost tempted to use the "s" word about your post. Would you say that about a man in his 30s?--like yourself? A divorced woman in her 40s is hardly a spinster either (not that either she nor OP would make a suitable match, given generational gap/stage-of-life priority issues, assuming that OP wants to start a family of his own). I honestly just wanted to annoy you. You succeeded. [;)] Never took you for being a bratty sub, though. Aren't you native-born Italian guys supposed to be suave lovers? (Now I'm being the annoying one, hehe.)

LookieNoNookie -> RE: How to Find a Sustainable Solution (12/29/2014 5:18:55 PM)
I've wanted a sustainable solution for years. A Domme who's carbon footprint is smaller than the beatings. That's what I want...won't accept anything less. It's all about methane.

eulero83 -> RE: How to Find a Sustainable Solution (12/30/2014 12:41:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FieryOpal You succeeded. [;)] Never took you for being a bratty sub, though. Aren't you native-born Italian guys supposed to be suave lovers? (Now I'm being the annoying one, hehe.) During courtship yes, after moving in... just oversized babies prone to cheating. According to this blogger we make good one night stands though

FieryOpal -> RE: How to Find a Sustainable Solution (12/30/2014 1:14:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eulero83 During courtship yes, after moving in... just oversized babies prone to cheating. According to this blogger we make good one night stands though Bait and switch, huh? Isn't that what a lot of men complain about? Not enough nookie once the honeymoon is over? In direct correlation, perhaps, to the death throes of romance? musingly I like the author's commentary, "where an American guy might treat a one-night-stand like a prostitute (because they were raised by monkeys, apparently), Italian guys still usually lay on the sweet stuff." Well, I can cross Italian men off my list, along with the crossed-out Frenchmen who can't keep their pants zipped up. There are always exceptions, of course.

Wickad -> RE: How to Find a Sustainable Solution (12/30/2014 1:26:15 AM)
(fast reply) Too much porn. ... ohhh, and entitlement!

eulero83 -> RE: How to Find a Sustainable Solution (12/30/2014 3:52:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FieryOpal quote: ORIGINAL: eulero83 During courtship yes, after moving in... just oversized babies prone to cheating. According to this blogger we make good one night stands though Bait and switch, huh? Isn't that what a lot of men complain about? Not enough nookie once the honeymoon is over? In direct correlation, perhaps, to the death throes of romance? musingly I like the author's commentary, "where an American guy might treat a one-night-stand like a prostitute (because they were raised by monkeys, apparently), Italian guys still usually lay on the sweet stuff." Well, I can cross Italian men off my list, along with the crossed-out Frenchmen who can't keep their pants zipped up. There are always exceptions, of course. The bait part is kind of cultural, chinese have the "loss of face" concept we raise it and have the "bella figura" one, keeping up with that 24/7 is just impossible so the switch is inevitable. I don't know, here most man complaints are about loss of freedom, ususally the loss of time they are allowd to watch or play football (soccer for you) with their friends after moving in. It's not about lack sex it's just sometimes you don't want to be the only one being cheated in the couple. No it's usually related to in-laws intrusions. You are probably right, but not for the cheating part, that's easly solved with a CB6000, it's more about cultural differences and the reasons I gave you a passive-aggressive answer to your post.

QueenRah -> RE: How to Find a Sustainable Solution (1/10/2015 12:48:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie I've wanted a sustainable solution for years. A Domme who's carbon footprint is smaller than the beatings. That's what I want...won't accept anything less. It's all about methane. You mean, someone who doesn't fart?? That would be ideal. For both parties.

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