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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> New to the scene, but I'd actually like a scene every now and then.

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New to the scene, but I'd actually like a scene every n... - 12/30/2014 5:22:50 PM

CuriousToBeSub

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Hello out there. I just had a question for the fellow subs out there. Even though I would like to do a scene/session/play time with my Dom (he's my husband as well), how can I give myself the motivation to actually let him know that I want it? I work weird hours, basically an every other week swing shift, that leave me tired and wore out. Sir doesn't want to do sessions when I'm like this, and while I understand that, I really sometimes just need something to release the tension that a scene can do.

We're both new to this. I, in fact, am the one that introduced this to our relationship. I know that he wants to play it safe and he doesn't want to overdo it, but when he teases me and I don't get any follow through, it drives me nuts. Which I have shared with him. So, maybe some advice please?

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RE: New to the scene, but I'd actually like a scene eve... - 12/30/2014 6:18:05 PM

InHisHeart

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Talk to him and let him know that even though you're tired, you still enjoy play and it helps relieve tension.

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RE: New to the scene, but I'd actually like a scene eve... - 12/30/2014 6:25:08 PM

MrRodgers

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Tell him the kind of tired you want...is from play.

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RE: New to the scene, but I'd actually like a scene eve... - 12/30/2014 7:37:20 PM

CuriousToBeSub

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I have talked with him about it, but it can't hurt to try again. Because it has been probably a month or more since a session has occurred and I am starting to get irritated. My work has made me more tired than usual because of the holidays, but being that they're starting to calm down, I'm hoping that he's wanting to try again. I feel (and let's be honest, I get that what I'm about to say sounds irrational, but just saying it makes me feel not so crazy from irrational thinking) that because I'm the one who introduced him to D/s that he isn't as interested in scenes as I am. I swear sometimes I feel like I think about all day. But nonetheless, thank you for both of y'alls advice.

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RE: New to the scene, but I'd actually like a scene eve... - 12/30/2014 8:35:47 PM

DarkSteven

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If you work an every other week sing shift, that leaves time to session. Nail down a time with him and keep the appointment.

I know it sounds unromantic as hell, but that's what happens to adults.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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RE: New to the scene, but I'd actually like a scene eve... - 12/30/2014 8:37:40 PM

Gauge

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There is talking to him, and then there is communicating with him. Which one are you doing?

Be honest, open and frank. Tell him exactly how you feel.

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RE: New to the scene, but I'd actually like a scene eve... - 12/31/2014 5:11:07 AM

NookieNotes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

There is talking to him, and then there is communicating with him. Which one are you doing?

This. Communication is about the results you get, not the words you say. If your words have not had an effect, try a different tactic, a different set of words.

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RE: New to the scene, but I'd actually like a scene eve... - 12/31/2014 5:33:26 AM

InHisHeart

Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousToBeSub

I have talked with him about it, but it can't hurt to try again. Because it has been probably a month or more since a session has occurred and I am starting to get irritated. My work has made me more tired than usual because of the holidays, but being that they're starting to calm down, I'm hoping that he's wanting to try again. I feel (and let's be honest, I get that what I'm about to say sounds irrational, but just saying it makes me feel not so crazy from irrational thinking) that because I'm the one who introduced him to D/s that he isn't as interested in scenes as I am. I swear sometimes I feel like I think about all day. But nonetheless, thank you for both of y'alls advice.

Both partners keeping the lines of communication open and honest at all times is essential. Talk with him before irritation sets in and don't let it fester, that will do much more harm than good. Also never assume or wonder what your partner is thinking, find out from him. If you feel he might not be as interested as you are, ask him, find out his level of interest, what he's comfortable with, what he's not comfortable with, etc. It sounds to me like the two of you need to sit down, have a good heart to heart, let each other know what you're each feeling, what each of your wants, desires, expectations are and go from there.

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I don't have a bucket list but my fucket list is a mile long.

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.

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