RE: Case of the dissappearing dom??

RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (Full Version)

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Sinergy -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/14/2006 7:58:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: windchymes "Believe what a man DOES, not what a man SAYS!" Hello A/all, I agree completely. Somebody gifted at birth with two X chromosomes (or 3 in some cases) would never say something and then do something else. Wait, umm.. Sinergy

wantitnow569 -> RE: Case of the disappearing Dom?? (7/15/2006 11:12:22 PM)
i just wanted to thank Everyone for their thoughtful comments....i wish it was as easy to just cut bate and run...however things have apparently taken a drastic turn for the worse...Friday i received an email from a friend of His (who's out of the country) asking if i had any contact with Sir (and actually hoping that we had moved in together and were off on a vacation) because none of His friends or colleagues from work have heard from Him either... sigh now the angry and frustration turn to worry and guilt....[image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m22.gif[/image]

JessieMe -> RE: Case of the disappearing Dom?? (7/16/2006 4:58:14 AM)
I really hate to bring this up.. but considering his past actions.. is there ANY possibility at all that he may have put this friend up to such an email as a way of "disappearing" from you altogether? I dont know him.. so I am not saying this is what he is doing.. Just that it has happened before to another and it wouldnt be difficult for him to do that..<shrug> I do however hope that all ends well for the both of you.

feastie -> RE: Case of the disappearing Dom?? (7/16/2006 5:41:08 AM)
On July 5, 2006, you wrote about meeting your dom for the first time, and your worries about sexual interaction with him at that meeting. http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=462935&mpage=1&key=&#462935 Have you met? People who disappear are people who have secrets. It's an simple thing to come back online and give a story about what happened to them. People often also "die" in car accidents or by suicide and concerned "friends or relatives" come online and find their online friends and objects of affection to give them the news. I'm with Jessie...sounds pretty fishy to me.

TNstepsout -> RE: Case of the disappearing Dom?? (7/16/2006 8:44:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: feastie On July 5, 2006, you wrote about meeting your dom for the first time, and your worries about sexual interaction with him at that meeting. http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=462935&mpage=1&key=&#462935 Have you met? Uh Oh, this does not sound good.

wantitnow569 -> RE: Case of the disappearing Dom?? (7/16/2006 10:44:09 AM)
i'm sorry, no we never did meet...actually we were supposed to this coming week, i believe.... sigh

windchymes -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/16/2006 1:20:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sinergy quote: ORIGINAL: windchymes "Believe what a man DOES, not what a man SAYS!" Hello A/all, I agree completely. Somebody gifted at birth with two X chromosomes (or 3 in some cases) would never say something and then do something else. Wait, umm.. Sinergy Oh, I'm sure my daddy meant that in the "all mankind" sense of the word, not exclusively in the Y chromosome sense![;)] Shocking though it is, XX's do it too!

windchymes -> RE: Case of the disappearing Dom?? (7/16/2006 1:29:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wantitnow569 i'm sorry, no we never did meet...actually we were supposed to this coming week, i believe.... sigh And darned if he didn't disappear again..... Are ya seeing the writing on the wall yet??? Look, sweetie, if this guy REALLY wanted to be with you, he'd find a way. People don't just "disappear". They play games, they have real life wives and/or girlfriends to juggle around, or they're just inconsiderate and irresponsible as hell. Please just chalk this up to experience and start being available for someone that treats you the way you deserve to be treated. The Dom of your dreams could fall into your lap, and you'll be pining away for the Disappearing Loser and you'll never know! I know this isn't what you want to hear, but sooner or later you have to face reality, and the sooner the better!

SCORPIOXXX -> RE: Case of the disappearing Dom?? (7/16/2006 1:35:03 PM)
I agree with all the other posts re: your situation... You got led by the nose down the primrose path and left there alone... You never even met? This guy is so full of it his blood is brown, lol! A true DOM (or any man) means what He says and says what He means -- and bulshit walks! ... And if it makes you feel any better, there are disappearing subs too!

bandit25 -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/18/2006 3:54:17 AM)
You discussed it with him. If you trust him, you trust him. If you don't., you don't. We certainly can't tell you what you should do...only you can.

wandering4u -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/18/2006 4:16:51 AM)
Vanishing and now concerned friends. I think he has long flown off to other places.

Owned1 -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/18/2006 11:30:36 AM)
As someone said so well on another post, computer connections are lost when the wife/hubby walks into a room. Perhaps this is the case here as well, just not only the computer connection but the connection to you. Get out now before you are hurt too terribly owned

Veryleggyredhead -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/21/2006 3:31:36 PM)
Sighs, unfortunately if you are to the point where you felt you needed to post this, the damage is already done. Your trust in him and sense of safety in your relationship have been compromised by his actions which were and apparently continue to be inconsiderate and disrespectful. I personally would suspect that he is either married or hiding something that would compromise your relationship with him should it come to light. Unfortunately by virtue of the fact that you are a submissive or slave, questioning his motives can and will give him the Master or Dominant, grounds to state (and in this case this serves him well) that you are failing him in that you aren't extending the trust he feels is merited as a Master or Dominant. Go with your gut instincts here, I suspect that you will ultimately find that his inconsiderate behavior toward you will be ongoing, and will either tolerate it or seek someone who will value you enough to be there for you wholistically, good luck.....

mstrj69 -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/21/2006 4:16:30 PM)
If you feel you absolutely have to stay with him and he keeps disappearing and you keep buying his excuses, which he will eventually run out of, at the very least make friends here and in the local munch group so you will have some people to give you support if you do decide he is not worth all the trouble. And yes, being sick is an excuse, so is any reason for not meeting you. Suggest he have you come to his house and meet him there. Whatever you do, good luck.

wantitnow569 -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/26/2006 10:27:51 PM)
Okay...well....it's settled!! i win stupid sub/slave of the Year award!!!! Because i bought all the bullsh#t right up until today when i received an email from his friend saying he had died...and here's the truth...Whether it's real or not it doesn't really matter cause he's as good as dead to me!!! i mean either way it hurts...either he left me (which was waaay beyond his control) which hurts, or he deliberatley chose to screw with my head (which really really hurts)!!

KatyLied -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/27/2006 8:32:16 AM)
quote: he deliberatley chose to screw with my head (which really really hurts)!! True, but you've got to understand that if he gets his kicks playing with other people like that, he's not worth too much.

VelvetGloveDomme -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/27/2006 8:45:50 AM)
Some people have nothing better to do that play games...It would be nice for them to get their just desserts. It would be delicious to see them suffer quite a bit, as you feast on their pain and agony. I have met a couple of those people. Just drop them like a grenade and hope they explode somewhere else and not with you.

pattiann -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/27/2006 8:54:58 AM)
I am so sorry to hear that your master died! I think some are missing the point. I can relate to your pain because all of my interaction has been online. You invest so much of yourself in your submission (even virtually) He invaded your mind and then your heart. Now your heart is breaking. You can kick yourself into next week, but try not to have regrets. You obviously had some positive feelings and did some very serious exploration of your own needs and desires. Hold on to the good and grieve the bad. Take care of yourself. PA

LaTigresse -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/27/2006 9:33:26 AM)
All I can say is this. You experienced what EVERYONE interested in persuing a relationship thru the net has experienced if they have been at it any length of time. Regardless of vanilla, gay, BDSM.......its the same story. Meet, via.......chat room.......email.....forum boards. Oh aren't they ever charming and perfect for me!!!!! Depending on your patience and sensitivity of your bullshit metre it starts getting more mushy (omg I am starting to feel like I really know you! Omg, this is so crazy but I think I might love you!) You send and recieve, if you haven't already, some kinky pictures. Depending on the culprits intelligence and sneakiness ability you might even move on to voice computer communication or even better yet.......phone and text messaging!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO Happy Days!!!! I have found the perfect man/woman/Dom/Domme!!!! It's like I know them and they me, better than anyone I have ever met! They are my soulmate, omg..."we must meet!" They reply "oh yes, we have to!.......but not right now, we have to wait, I am sure you will understand that my mom is really sick/my car is broke/the dog died/etc etc etc" More mushy communication, maybe some hot steamy webcam action (if they are really the person they pretended to be in their photos that is...) Then you bring up that meeting again, maybe even say that you are borrowing the money for the plane/train/bus ticket or gas money...etc etc etc, to go to them! Isn't it grand!!??!! Meanwhile......the fear of god sets in the other party....HOLY SHIT!!! he/she is coming HERE!!!!!!! ORRRRR.............if you are lucky (not out any $$) they manage to get you to believe they are going to come meet you before you spend any of your hard earned/borrowed cash. Either way....communication gets less and less. The phone mysteriously gets lost, stolen, couldn't/didn't pay the bill. Haven't gotten around to getting another. "I am busy! I love you! Quit questioning me and my feelings!! If you are questioning me maybe you really don't love ME!" Making you feel guilty for questioning them of course. Then........sooner or later, if you are still clinging to some semblance of hope, pouring over mushy old emails and photos, writing sappy unanswered emails or text message, or leaving sappy voice messages........they disappear! If they are really lame, you get a phone call or email from a friend/brother/sister....etc etc etc to tell you there has been a terrible illness/accident/tragic death........they are so sorry for your loss because they know how much you meant to the dearly departed. Of course they will never be any concrete evidence.....hospital admission records, obituary, etc of the passing. You go on, either in denial you were played or your heart gets harder, you trust alot less, your bullshit metre gets more sensitive and life goes on. All the better for the lying assholes that forgot that behind every profile is a human being with feelings and a heart that can be broken.

windchymes -> RE: Case of the dissappearing dom?? (7/27/2006 12:55:30 PM)
Wow, you've got that story down spot on! [:)] I've said before, it's amazing how many sudden, tragic, bizarre, premature deaths there are in online BDSM land.

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