Etiquette required?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Etiquette required?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Etiquette required?

Page: [1]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Etiquette required? - 1/2/2015 10:17:24 PM

unwantedsub

Posts: 9
Joined: 12/26/2008
Status: offline

I'll leave this open to debate as I have some thoughts and experiences that can leave me a bit discouraged when communicating with others.

The question I wanted to ask. Specifically to the dominant women here. Open to all to respond. What do you think proper etiquette should be towards family, friends and submissives as a dominant personality?

Society generally dictates how we should conduct ourselves with others but by no accord are you required to respond as that is your personal right or opinion. So really there is no right answer as we are all different with different opinions I am just curious what dominant minds here think? There is also an emotional aspect of this that I consider as well. Some people don't handle other people well.

Just some thoughts. I wanted to see what everyone thinks.

Post #: 1

RE: Etiquette required? - 1/2/2015 11:09:27 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

What do you think proper etiquette should be towards family, friends and submissives as a dominant personality?

Nope. A Dominant is Dominant toward his or her sub. Nobody else. That's one of the signs of a newbie Dom/me, that they try to treat everyone as if they were a sub to him/her.

In other words, treat 'em all just like vanillas unless they're YOUR subs.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to unwantedsub)

Post #: 2

RE: Etiquette required? - 1/2/2015 11:19:26 PM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

I believe that there are some people that just plain are dominant. Call them "born leaders" if you like or "Charismatic" but I think there's an element that makes some people alpha in just about all aspects of their lives.

That said, that doesn't give them license to treat others as subservients. It's a fine line, granted but it's there.

If Donald Trump hires a personal assistant, that person has agreed (on some levels) to be subservient to him. However, he might find himself going through personal assistants like I go through underwear.

I don't believe that a person being dominant means that they don't have to treat others with a modicum of courtesy.

Maybe I didn't fully understand the question but I will go a step further:

If I'm in a store and I have an issue with policy or an item offered or whatever, that representative certainly doesn't owe me any deference other than the company they represent should be showing to any potential customer.

Certainly, I'm not going to treat that store representative the same way I treat either of my ladies.

Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 3

RE: Etiquette required? - 1/3/2015 5:53:23 AM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

Dominance doesn't entitle anyone to discard etiquette, decorum, or protocol. I am quite dominant, very charismatic, and draw very hard lines. I do not have to knuckle drag chest thump to be any of those things. When I walk into someones home I do not start dictating how things need to be up in here... their house, their rules. I have my own home where I dictate how things will be up in here. That said, if someone comes into my house and flicks cigarette ash in my floor they have two choices, lick it up or get the fuck out and never come back. Option b means that if they ever come back they will be licking ash off my floor, it's all about the principle of the matter.

Anyone orbiting my life knows how it is, how I am, and that I am more of want for friendship rather than need for friendship, so it's a small matter for me to crop people out of my life just like I were cropping people out of a photo. Those in close orbit of my life are there because they accept and respect who I am and they know that it is mutual. They also know that I call a spade a spade and a shovel a shovel, and will readily hold each up to them and explain the difference. Because of my propensity to be candid, to the point of confrontational, my friend circle is small, but they trust me... not that casual, "oh yeah, I trust tha dude", it's the "stash this 7 million in cash back for me until I need it" trust.

Yep, I can be confrontational, I can even be very abrasive about it, but I will not be talking behind your back and if I suddenly get the sense that the conversation I am having about you may be viewed as "behind your back" then I will call and put you on speaker phone so you can listen to the shit I have to say about you. Most people find that too hard to deal with when it comes to me, but a few find that to be one of my better qualities.

Really, who would you rather have in your life, someone that is going to tell you your ass looks big in those jeans or the guy that will tell you they look great and then post a pic of your big ass online to laugh at you behind your back?

Jus sayin

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to unwantedsub)

Post #: 4

RE: Etiquette required? - 1/3/2015 8:18:39 AM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Yep, I can be confrontational, I can even be very abrasive about it, but I will not be talking behind your back and if I suddenly get the sense that the conversation I am having about you may be viewed as "behind your back" then I will call and put you on speaker phone so you can listen to the shit I have to say about you. Most people find that too hard to deal with when it comes to me, but a few find that to be one of my better qualities.

Jus sayin

This made me smile. "What you see is what you get" type people are very attractive to other "what you see is what you get" type of people". Unfortunately there aint many of them around.

_____________________________

My store is http://e-stimstore.com

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 5

RE: Etiquette required? - 1/3/2015 8:24:30 AM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

I'd much rather know where I stand now rather than find out all too late later, and I extend the same courtesy to others. Yes, with me you don't get much sugar coating, but when/if you stumble, that firm grasp on your arm is me steadying you.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to MariaB)

Post #: 6

RE: Etiquette required? - 1/3/2015 8:37:59 AM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

We all have our codes of behaviour depending on the situation or company we find ourselves amongst. When I'm with my elderly relatives, who are mostly French my etiquette is quite different to how I am when I'm with a group of scene friends and different again when I'm with work collogues. I believe I'm polite in all situations; even when I'm being cutting to some rude individual who deserves to be put in their place.

I'm a little confused by your question to be honest. Are you asking if a dominant personalities are dominant towards everyone? I certainly know one or two that try to be. Personally I think such people are hugely insecure; either that or they feel the need to prove their dominance to an accompanying submissive which always looks a little pathetic to its onlookers. Like DS says, people who fall into the category of being natural leaders often exude confidence and charisma no matter who they are with. They may lead or instigate good conversation and not be afraid to debate with honest opinion but those types don't have to be dominant in the sense we are talking, they are just energetic characters that never fear new "people" situations.

< Message edited by MariaB -- 1/3/2015 8:42:29 AM >

_____________________________

My store is http://e-stimstore.com

(in reply to MariaB)

Post #: 7

RE: Etiquette required? - 1/3/2015 10:05:10 AM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Yep, I can be confrontational, I can even be very abrasive about it, but I will not be talking behind your back and if I suddenly get the sense that the conversation I am having about you may be viewed as "behind your back" then I will call and put you on speaker phone so you can listen to the shit I have to say about you. Most people find that too hard to deal with when it comes to me, but a few find that to be one of my better qualities.

Jus sayin

This made me smile. "What you see is what you get" type people are very attractive to other "what you see is what you get" type of people". Unfortunately there aint many of them around.

Agreed!!! I keep my innermost circles pretty small. My big thing too is privacy and common courtesy, and gossipers/ne'er do wells are less inclined to respect that.
To unwanted sub, etiquette can be as small as being patient and understanding or laughing at someone's bad joke to spare their feelings. I really think some people are less inclined to be aware of when they are offensive, maybe unintentionally but they still are so this is where understanding comes into play. Now hopefully such a person is open to criticism in such regard but if not then others have to find the "charm" in their individualism. Sometimes the flaws themselves can be charming.
Two of my friends have seen me on collarspace, those who do know me as "Manko" (because there are those who do not). The name probably attracted curious eyes. Now it's a small world but I have sort of been around is what my above comment suggests.
As MariaB said, people tend to be tactful situationally. This means boundaries for the most part.
Most of my friends (bless their hearts) completely understand they might not hear from me for months. Why? Because I have way, way too many people to keep tabs on and I top that off with my busy schedule and miscellaneous nuances I deem as "necessary"or "enjoyable". And they all know I don't get upset if I don't get a "Happy Birthday" or "Merry Xmas". I'm very utilitarian,very into functional activities that may have the tiniest bit of "progress" attached to the endeavor.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to MariaB)

Post #: 8

RE: Etiquette required? - 1/5/2015 4:01:47 PM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

I can't recall who to attribute this saying to, so I'll have to paraphrase it as it relates to a natural-born leader with a Dominant personality.

The mark of a true ruler or a great monarch is in direct proportion to the amount of graciousness s/he extends to others, being merciful to those who serve him/her.

For those of a religious bent, the greatest (Omnipotent) Ruler of them all is "Full of Grace, and His Mercy endures forever."

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to unwantedsub)

Post #: 9

RE: Etiquette required? - 1/10/2015 11:30:04 AM

wickkeddesire

Posts: 37
Joined: 1/3/2015
Status: offline

This is not straightforward too answer.
Much as I would like to set about some people with pots and pans or a veritable tongue lashing, and the placement of tin foil on their heads; for immediate treatment/ reprogramming, I do not. Punch line is this – some people do – punch people etc

What defines a person, what makes a person – I have probably answered this many times over decade everywhere.
I myself are 4 parts muffin, 1 part my life; all I have come across, absorbed, weighed up
Actually a fine analogy is Person of Interest – latest episode s4/11.

Some people simply are who they are & it always shows through.
Some others show constraint in certain circumstances.
That is how it simply is

(in reply to FieryOpal)

Post #: 10

RE: Etiquette required? - 1/13/2015 7:46:32 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I'm a great believer in judging people by how they behave to those who are powerless.

Behave like a decent human being. Be kind to others. Hold the door for the elderly. And so on.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to wickkeddesire)

Post #: 11

RE: Etiquette required? - 1/14/2015 3:57:14 PM

MasterVenom13

Posts: 30
Joined: 8/28/2014
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

What do you think proper etiquette should be towards family, friends and submissives as a dominant personality?

Nope. A Dominant is Dominant toward his or her sub. Nobody else. That's one of the signs of a newbie Dom/me, that they try to treat everyone as if they were a sub to him/her.

In other words, treat 'em all just like vanillas unless they're YOUR subs.

This absolutely this though there's nothing wrong with being the Alpha Male/Female especially if you can't help it but that doesn't give one the right to treat others as inferior.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 12

RE: Etiquette required? - 1/14/2015 4:16:58 PM

DerangedUnit

Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline

Why do people equate being dominant with being an asshole? I definitely know people who are dominant(as in always, not a role they play) that don't come across as dicks. I think responding to people in a confrontational manner is a sign of fear, it doesn't come across as dominant at all... it makes me wonder if they are drunk, and a bit sad that they ended up with that view of the world.

Personally, I've found a "treat others like they treat you" approach is best... I never start a fight, and am generally in good humors, extroverted, and get along with people naturally and easily.... but everyone also likes to pick fights with me because im cute and nice and they equate that with thinking I'll take their shit. I never start a fight, I finish them.

I avoid conversations with people I know just want to play games(which are most people that like me and try to hang out with me) I show them I know the game then cut them off unless they quit. My family and a few friends families, exes, and people from my last job got it and started catching themselves and backpedaling. There are still a few people keep trying to hang out with me that just dont get it though. In those cases I don't put myself in a position where I have to be around them.

(in reply to MasterVenom13)

Post #: 13

RE: Etiquette required? - 1/16/2015 1:20:46 PM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

Im with DU on this one...with a little of ET mixed in. I never sugar coat, yet Im always super nice to people. Having a dominant personality doesnt by any means say that I have to be an ass.
I also tend to agree with Micheal on this one with the Donald Trump example.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

(in reply to DerangedUnit)

Post #: 14

RE: Etiquette required? - 1/16/2015 10:43:23 PM

seekingreality

Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: unwantedsub

I'll leave this open to debate as I have some thoughts and experiences that can leave me a bit discouraged when communicating with others.

The question I wanted to ask. Specifically to the dominant women here. Open to all to respond. What do you think proper etiquette should be towards family, friends and submissives as a dominant personality?

Well, dang. If someone is DOMINANT, their shit don't stink! They don't need to practice no damn etiquette to anyone. Etiquette is for all those other people. A dominant person can be a complete asshole to anyone -- friends, family, lovers, police, an IRS auditor, the pope, the president, terrorists -- and they will be all thankful. That's the joy of being dominant.

(in reply to unwantedsub)

Post #: 15

RE: Etiquette required? - 1/17/2015 3:54:17 AM

NookieNotes

Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

Etiquette is etiquette, regardless of dominance or submission.

Dominance is leadership and responsibility, not bossing other around. Leadership is earned and responsibility is innate. It's never and absolute.

*grins* See what I did there? LOL!

_____________________________

Nookie
--
https://datingkinky.com

I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to seekingreality)

Post #: 16

RE: Etiquette required? - 1/17/2015 10:11:03 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: unwantedsub

I'll leave this open to debate as I have some thoughts and experiences that can leave me a bit discouraged when communicating with others.

The question I wanted to ask. Specifically to the dominant women here. Open to all to respond. What do you think proper etiquette should be towards family, friends and submissives as a dominant personality?

Society generally dictates how we should conduct ourselves with others but by no accord are you required to respond as that is your personal right or opinion. So really there is no right answer as we are all different with different opinions I am just curious what dominant minds here think? There is also an emotional aspect of this that I consider as well. Some people don't handle other people well.

Just some thoughts. I wanted to see what everyone thinks.

As a human being I treat people with the respect and dignity that I believe everyone deserves. This has absolutely nothing to do with my dominance, but speaks more specifically to my world view that if people would treat each other better, this world would be a nicer place to live. This means that I respect my slut as well as the grocery store clerk, bus driver, neighbor, co-worker, etc.

There are some people that exude dominance, it is damn near a palpable thing. If someone sets out to prove they are dominant by treating others differently then chances are, they are trying to convince others, and themselves, that they are dominant. Natural dominants do not have to do that.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to unwantedsub)

Post #: 17

Page: [1]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Etiquette required?

Page: [1]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.140