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AAkasha -> RE: Embarrassment - Subtle vs. Blatant (1/4/2015 9:17:44 PM)
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Effect on who...the dominant (arousal) or the sub (humiliation and/or arousal)?
If a sub 'requires' fairly extreme embarrassment or humiliation to be 'affected' then it's a bit more challenging. Subtle embarrassment can be extremely hot to me because it shows a man has a low threshold for his ego to be crushed a bit. I remember being a teenager and "making" my boyfriend allow me to spoon feed him ice cream in a parlor. He was so embarrassed, "What if someone sees this?" -- he endured, because I gave him some kind of carrot on a stick at the time. And I told him how excited it was making me.
Compare this to a man that needs to be "caught" in womens lingerie in public - by women he does not know -- like in a lingerie store dressing room, etc. Firstly, it's hard to set up and mostly will be a mindfuck (I have gotten girls I know to pretend they don't know me to pull it off - alas, it only works once). So much work goes into pulling off the task.
I don't get off on the level of extreme for the act - moreso, I get off on his discomfort, humiliation, shame. If I can achieve that in a subtle way (making him kneel in a public place as he desperately tries to come up with a reason he would be doing it), it's a sweet spot for me.
For me, though, it also depends on a lot on how he endures his shame and embarrassment. Extensive groveling and acting pathetic isn't a button pusher for me. Subtle shame is. That said, it comes down to chemistry.
Also, ironically, I do find there IS a a place for intense groveling, pathetic desperation with me - but it's in private, a "worked up to" space, in moments of total cruelty. I don't like "instant groveling worm, just add water" scenarios though. It seems too melodramatic.
Akasha
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