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DC Update: Tidings of Discomfort and Joy - 1/5/2015 6:56:18 PM   
dcnovice


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January 5, 2015
Tidings of Discomfort and Joy


Dear Ones ---

Happy Twelfth Night! I hope this icy evening (here, anyway) finds you looking back over delightful holidays and ahead to a wonderful year.

I spent a joyous and love-filled Christmas in Massachusetts with my sister and her wonderful family, her in-laws, and my parents. The simple joys and warmth of family life buoyed my soul tremendously. I made and decorated Christmas cookies with two of my nieces; had a great, grown-up conversation with their elder sister (my goddaughter) during her first stint at the adult table; loved watching the girls sing and dance together (even if their repertoire needs to branch out from Taylor Swift); undertook my usual happy frenzy of wrapping; and thoroughly enjoyed catching up with everyone.

Of course, it’s easy to feel aglow with familial love at such a magical time. But then came Christmas night. Marjorie, my colostomy*, needed attention, so I headed upstairs to where I kept her travel kit. I used the same, soon-to-be-patented, two-beaker emptying process I’d employed for more than a year, only to watch in horror as the beaker full of output slipped from my hand. That was a far-from-fabulous first. Waste went everywhere: all over the toilet, the floor, me, and a magazine rack full of kids’ books.

After a few centuries of staring in shock, I gathered toilet paper and cleaned things up as best I could. So far I’d stayed calm—or, more precisely, numb. That lasted till I looked at the books: sodden and dripping. There was more mess than I could tackle with the tools at hand, and I was pretty sure the books would need to be pitched. That meant letting my sister know what had happened.

My calm evaporated. I walked over to the room where I was staying, sat down on the edge of the bed, and sobbed. This was everything I’d ever dreaded about a colostomy: the replacement of natural function by irksome and complicated mechanics, the ever-present possibility of disaster, the possibility’s becoming a reality, an unholy mess, and the mortification of needing to say, “I’m so sorry, but I just fouled your home and your daughters’ books.”

I finally made my way downstairs and took my sister aside in the kitchen. I explained what had happened, and then came perhaps the most magical of all my Christmas moments. She took the news in stride, looked into my bloodshot eyes, and enveloped me in a giant, loving hug. It’s one thing to feel that your family loves you when they’re delighting over your presents or laughing at your quips. It’s another when love breaks through, as it has again and again during my medical marathon, amid the fog of desolation and despair. I am so blessed on the family front!

On Boxing Day, we headed into Boston to see the JFK Library. I’d never been there before, and I really enjoyed the skillfully crafted exhibits and particularly the opportunities to see footage of President Kennedy in action. I was especially impressed by one of his many press conferences. Reporters asked smart questions, and he gave them candid, intelligent answers.

Tomorrow brings an appointment with my wound surgeon, so I’m keenly hoping for answers about what’s going on “down there” and when, if ever, it will stop. I’ll let you know what I learn.

Meantime, may the star of wonder, star of light lead you to all things beautiful and bright.

Cheers,
DC

* I’ve read that ostomates often name their stomas as a step toward humorous acceptance. So I figured I’d try. Marjorie gets her name from a character in Nice Work, a comic novel by David Lodge. The protagonist’s wife, Marjorie, is incredibly status-conscious, and the great joy of her life is telling anyone who will listen that she has an en suite bathroom. Were there a perfume called En Suite, her husband chuckles to himself, she’d wear it. Well, I figured one can’t get more en suite than an ostomy!


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No matter how cynical you become,
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JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE
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RE: DC Update: Tidings of Discomfort and Joy - 1/5/2015 7:50:06 PM   
camille65


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From: Austin Texas
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I'm sorry, for your health issues and all you have to deal with. But I'm glad you have such a great sister, that sort of support and love is just invaluable. I know people with ileostomies and colostomies, and I really believe they are more shocking/terrible/shameful to the wearer (for lack of a better term lol) than they are to others. It may be a part of you but it isn't 'you'. Hope that makes sense.

Happiest of holidays and Happy New You!

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~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




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RE: DC Update: Tidings of Discomfort and Joy - 1/5/2015 7:57:59 PM   
LiveSpark


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DC, first of all I'm sorry that you need a colostomy. While I understand your mortification at having "fouled" those books I'm not surprised at your sister's reaction. It was an accident pure and simple. Accidents happen.

I wish you a speedy recovery and a very Happy New Year.

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TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

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RE: DC Update: Tidings of Discomfort and Joy - 1/5/2015 8:24:39 PM   
kdsub


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Damn dc what a great story of love... I am not embarrassed to say the reading of it brought tears to my eyes...I have not decided yet if our ability to love is a curse or blessing. The emotional depth of loving and being loved is the single most important and wonderful feeling we are blessed to experience in life... yet at the same time the loss of love or a loved one is the greatest emotional pain we can experience.

I wish I could just cherish the love without the constant worrying about loosing it... I hope you can. God bless you and your wonderful sister.

Butch



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RE: DC Update: Tidings of Discomfort and Joy - 1/5/2015 10:03:35 PM   
sexyred1


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DC, you continue to inspire with your positive posts.

You are way better than me, I am just cynical and bitchy about my stuff going on.

I continue to hope things improve for you.

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RE: DC Update: Tidings of Discomfort and Joy - 1/6/2015 4:38:43 AM   
satanscharmer


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Reading this, I felt as though I was right there beside you. I could feel your embarrassment, then comfort and love. Not surprising, your writing is always wonderful. Your sister's reaction is not surprising. That's true family and almost any temporary discomfort is worth the opportunity to feel that. I'm happy for you that you had a wonderful holiday.

Good luck with your appointment today.

P.s. Marjorie seems like a very fitting name.

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RE: DC Update: Tidings of Discomfort and Joy - 1/6/2015 11:29:17 AM   
outlier


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dc,

You continue to affirm, by your example, the best in us.

I wish you every positive thing for the new year. You deserve
nothing less. Also, some extra wishes for your wonderful sister.

Thank you again for sharing here.

_____________________________

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"A happy sex life may take years to achieve, but it’s worth it in the long run.
Worth the time, the thought - or rather, the thoughtfulness - and, often,
the waiting." Pete Seeger

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RE: DC Update: Tidings of Discomfort and Joy - 1/6/2015 12:31:49 PM   
slvemike4u


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I'm not ashamed to say that like Butch I cried.....You are an inspiration DC...and Your sister is....well your sister.
What a great story,what a great family...bask in their love and let it carry you through the rough spots.
Get well DC we need lots more of your posts

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Forget Guns-----Ban the pools

Funny stuff....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwFf991d-4


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RE: DC Update: Tidings of Discomfort and Joy - 1/6/2015 4:50:13 PM   
kallisto


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I can only second and third what everyone else above me has said. You continue to inspire me ... to make me want and desire to be a better person. May your health continue to improve and may you always be surrounded by those that love and appreciate you ...

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RE: DC Update: Tidings of Discomfort and Joy - 1/6/2015 7:04:39 PM   
sheisreeds


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Joined: 7/8/2008
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My partner and I both have different colon problems which have led to similar horrors, and there is a reasonable chance that one or both of us will end up with the bag. I can relate, they are really horrifying experiences. And love, acceptance, and lack of judgement by those that care is soooo important.

I will say too that the silver lining in all my issues is that I am so less embarrassed and/or shaken about anything relating to my body. It comes with time, and it gets better.

These days I find my poopcapades downright hilarious most of the time, and if some of the most horrifying things my body has ever done has become funny, that means nothing my body does really bothers me all that much anymore.

Wishing you good health, and hopefully an end to Majorie in the New Year!

_____________________________

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Oh my darling, give me reason
give me something to believe in



You need a spankin' baby!

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RE: DC Update: Tidings of Discomfort and Joy - 1/7/2015 3:34:39 PM   
DesFIP


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I now understand that part of why DC is such an amazing person is that he comes from such a wonderful family.



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RE: DC Update: Tidings of Discomfort and Joy - 1/8/2015 7:13:48 AM   
needlesandpins


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DC reading your posts never fails to touch me.

wishing you all the best, as ever.

needles

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RE: DC Update: Tidings of Discomfort and Joy - 1/8/2015 3:09:17 PM   
ShaharThorne


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Mom and I enjoy the emails you send to me. We both acknowledge that you are the bravest guy on Earth and not afraid to show it.

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Founder: Bitch with Tits

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