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How do I start a conversation with a domme without seem... - 1/17/2015 12:57:25 AM   
BennytheBitch


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/3/2014
Status: offline 		So I'm wondering what the best way to introduce myself to a domme on this website who I am interested in. I know that it's rude to simply ask them to domminate me off the bat, but it feels weird for me to just say 'hi, how are you doing?' How do you like a sub to approach you on this website?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How do I start a conversation with a domme without ... - 1/17/2015 1:01:58 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BennytheBitch

So I'm wondering what the best way to introduce myself to a domme on this website who I am interested in. I know that it's rude to simply ask them to domminate me off the bat, but it feels weird for me to just say 'hi, how are you doing?' How do you like a sub to approach you on this website?


Welcome to the forums.

Approach people like you would if they weren't kinky. You know, be yourself, be pleasant, well spoken, intelligent, and so on. Be patient with the kinky stuff, if you both hit it off, that part of things will happen.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to BennytheBitch)
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RE: How do I start a conversation with a domme without ... - 1/17/2015 1:02:05 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline
Cash.



Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to BennytheBitch)
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RE: How do I start a conversation with a domme without ... - 1/17/2015 2:07:57 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge


quote:

ORIGINAL: BennytheBitch

So I'm wondering what the best way to introduce myself to a domme on this website who I am interested in. I know that it's rude to simply ask them to domminate me off the bat, but it feels weird for me to just say 'hi, how are you doing?' How do you like a sub to approach you on this website?


Welcome to the forums.

Approach people like you would if they weren't kinky. You know, be yourself, be pleasant, well spoken, intelligent, and so on. Be patient with the kinky stuff, if you both hit it off, that part of things will happen.


I agree, but I'd like to expand on that.

Read her profile. Not just the stuff about what honorific to use, but her hobbies, her writing style, etc. Try to get a sense of who she is as a person, and ask yourself how compatible you would be with her.

Engage her with a topic. It could be "I notice you list music as an interest. Me too! I used to play the piano and guitar, but now only play the guitar. May I ask if you play an instrument? " If you have nothing in common but geography, then ask if she attends local munches and parties. Ideally, ask a question at the end.

Enjoy the conversation itself. Your goal is simply that. If your goal is to meetup, to get her phone number, etc., you're liable to push too hard. But if your goal is for both of you to enjoy the conversation, you will make her want to talk with you again.

Have fun!


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Gauge)
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RE: How do I start a conversation with a domme without ... - 1/17/2015 2:44:51 AM   
NORTZ


Posts: 9
Joined: 12/5/2012
Status: offline 		Alot is dependent on you... Like Gauge said-be yourself as vanilla, then ease into it. On the other hand, Ive had guys that have approached me telling me what they want to do for me and/or explore... I like to know - Why they responded to my profile, What they believe they can do for me, and How they believe things would work in our real lives (I lime real play)...
What ever you are comfy with... Some guys go the other spectrum where they think I wanna see them pulloff and skitz (thats just funny or sick, in some cases). Know what you got to offer, and own your shit! 😉
Good luck!

_____________________________

Being happy doesn't mean that everything in your life is perfect...It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections...

Look beyond or whip it into place!

(in reply to Gauge)
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RE: How do I start a conversation with a domme without ... - 1/17/2015 5:02:47 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

So I'm wondering what the best way to introduce myself to a domme on this website who I am interested in. I know that it's rude to simply ask them to dominate me off the bat, but it feels weird for me to just say 'hi, how are you doing?' How do you like a sub to approach you on this website?

Approach her the same way you would if you saw her at a supermarket.
Be polite. Be witty. Make her laugh. Display interest and attentiveness to the signals she's sending out and respond accordingly. Exercise brevity.

But a few things, most of all:

-Lead with the big head. This is a good rule of thumb with any woman here, regardless of which side of the kneel she is on, but the one complaint almost all femdommes here have is being expected to be a fetish delivery service on demand. DON"T LEAD WITH SEX! Say something like, "Hi Mistress XYZ, the highest and mightiest. "My name is John Hardon (Or whatever your hopefully not lewd username is) I think you have a great profile. I noticed that you like Himalayan downhill bobsledding yeti hunts. Crazy thing that, I once had the strangest experience doing just that...relate humorous escapade briefly...maaaaybe drop a few personal facts (I'm a college educated banker who likes soft dances, Nerf paintball and vacations in Belize)We sound as if we may have mutual interests. If you'd like to chat, drop me a line."

-Spellcheck-yeah-it's your BFF. Use it. Then make like Santa and doublecheck by hand. First impressions count

-Don't tell her what you like, your kinks, fantasies, et al...ask and/or demonstrate what you can do for her. YOu don't even have to mention that you're a seeking male sub-she already knows that from your profile and the fact you are writing her.

-It's not about your penis

-Realize that most femdommes here get inundated with emails. Be different. Be distinct. This includes the profile and pics. Stand out...in a good way.

-Always be yourself and be honest about who and what you are. Anything less is flat out disrespectful

-Its not about your penis

-Sad to say, Michael likely has it right. Lead with cash and few doors will auto shut.

Carpe Diem, bitches

< Message edited by Kana -- 1/17/2015 5:06:54 AM >

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to NORTZ)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: How do I start a conversation with a domme without ... - 1/18/2015 12:21:08 AM   
Wickad


Posts: 428
Joined: 3/12/2005
Status: offline 		(fast reply)

I guess I have to wonder what are you seeking from this person?

If you have just read her profile and you think she's hot and all you'd like is for her to beat you and then fuck you ... you might want to just put that out there as you're not really seeing has as a person anyway. This strategy might not the the most effective, as it doesn't employ manipulation or faked interest in her as a person, but it is the most honest. If taking this route I'd send her some tantalizing photos of yourself - nothing nude or crude but more of a sexy, sassy pic - those come hither glances - lol.

On the other hand if you are seeking to spark up a relationship (long term, short term, intimate, play buddies, romantic, etc) then it would be best to treat her like the interesting person you think she might be. Talk about her as a person. Talk about yourself as a person - the hobbies that you both share, etc. As others have said, lead with your big head, not your little one.

Good luck to the OP with his search,
Wickad

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How do I start a conversation with a domme without ... - 1/18/2015 12:31:03 PM   
LadyNeith


Posts: 15
Joined: 10/11/2012
Status: offline 		I'd say read her profile. Most of us evil bitches are explicit in what they want and if you can't offer any of what she is asking you have no hope unless you're open to hiring her for pro-Domme. We seriously get so many messages that we can be picky. And to be honest we are used to getting what we want.

Hope that helps!

(in reply to Wickad)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How do I start a conversation with a domme without ... - 1/18/2015 5:49:20 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BennytheBitch

So I'm wondering what the best way to introduce myself to a domme on this website who I am interested in. I know that it's rude to simply ask them to domminate me off the bat, but it feels weird for me to just say 'hi, how are you doing?' How do you like a sub to approach you on this website?


Here's what I use (it's all about the delivery)....."Hey bitch...what's happening? Wanna fuck?"

(in reply to BennytheBitch)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How do I start a conversation with a domme without ... - 1/18/2015 8:45:20 PM   
unwantedsub


Posts: 9
Joined: 12/26/2008
Status: offline 		Be in the same zip code or don't bother. Unless you are willing to give up everything and move to their location. :P Ohh and like DaddySatyr said. Cash. If you have no money to gift or tribute to buy their time being normal and being yourself will just be futile because most of them don't care enough to get to know you over the internet. Find someone local. A nice girl that doesn't play games with you. Forget the BDSM world. It is no where to find a real relationship.

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How do I start a conversation with a domme without ... - 1/18/2015 9:54:34 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		You shouldn't be so cynical, my dear. Do your (plural) homework. Unless a profile, photo gallery, journal entries and/or related forum posts are so bereft of info for you to draw upon, putting in that little bit of extra effort can really pay off in terms of getting your foot in the door.

OP, while what DaddySatyr stated might apply in some cases, not all Dommes on this site (even those claiming to be lifestyle Dommes, and some may be blended or a combination of for-hire and not-for-hire) require tribute for their time and attention. My time is not for sale. Not ever. Nor access to any other part of me, whether it be my attention, energy, effort, sustained interest, words, voice, image or bodily presence. So unless you have nothing of intrinsic value (friendship, relationship, companionship, being interesting and attentive to her needs, etc.) to offer a Lady, then pay him no mind and listen to what the other Doms (Gauge, DarkSteven, particularly Kana) advised, and of course Dommes NORTZ, Wickad and LadyNeith.

If you are simply expecting something like getting your itches scratched for nothing just because you wrongfully presume that kinky women can be treated by less than basic vanilla dating standards or by taking shortcuts from observing routine socially appropriate interactions, then you'll have to find some Cyber "Domme" to wave money in front of. No different than any other woman you intend to sexually objectify or seek for your instant gratification. If she's in the market, then be prepared to ante up.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to unwantedsub)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How do I start a conversation with a domme without ... - 1/18/2015 10:10:07 PM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline 		To the OP, get to know what she desires by reading her profile. GET AWAY from negative people. Negative people draw negative energy to and around themselves and they often wonder why it's never sunny on their side of the street. Be polite, thoughtful and pay attention to any cues or instruction she may give including addressing her properly and mentioning something you read in her profile or liked about her picture. Also network with more sites than this one, it'll increase your chances.
Edited to add, if the search online is fruitless, www.findamunch.com if you are not introverted. If you find someone local who is incompatible perhaps they'll accompany you to one. MsDDom was good for posting that site.

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 1/18/2015 10:45:43 PM >

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How do I start a conversation with a domme without ... - 1/19/2015 12:01:12 PM   
goldennectardrin


Posts: 12
Joined: 1/8/2015
Status: offline 		The best way is to be honest ! Tell the domme you are new and ask how and what do i need to do to book a session with them.

DO NOT SEND THE MONEY ON GREEN DOT , BUY THEM STUFF in order to meet them.

(in reply to GoddessManko)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How do I start a conversation with a domme without ... - 1/19/2015 1:12:21 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: goldennectardrin

The best way is to be honest ! Tell the domme you are new and ask how and what do i need to do to book a session with them.

DO NOT SEND THE MONEY ON GREEN DOT , BUY THEM STUFF in order to meet them.


Um, I believe the OP was asking how to contact a lifestyle Domme, not a pro.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to goldennectardrin)
Profile   Post #: 14
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