RE: Activity in the local scenes....

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RE: Activity in the local scenes.... - 7/14/2006 7:20:45 PM

hizgeorgiapeach

Posts: 1672
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

It's not the safety that's annoying at public venues-it's the stupid politics.

That's just it, Caretakr - out of the various groups here in central Oklahohum that I've attended events with - only one of them had any sort of significant Politicos in it. And that group was positively Overrun with them. If you didn't play suckup games with those who ran the clique, you may as well not show up. I refused to play suck up games, and showed up anyway for a while, simply because I knew it annoyed the living daylights out of the ones who were offended that I refused to kiss ass. I found the overt power they gave me, by allowing themselves to feel That Annoyed, rather amusing - and enjoyable. They never said anything to me about it, I never said anything to them about it, but it was easy enough to tell from their expressions that they woulda been much happier if I'd simply dropped off the face of the planet since I wasn't willing to "go along to get along." Once I finally got back in touch with people who were in the group I currently attend (I'd lost contact with a lot of people when I moved out of state for a while) I quit showing up to the events held by the group of political snobs. Funny - the play space which was maintained by that group closed up shop within a few weeks of that, due to lack of participation. Seems that NO ONE was going back, other than their main clique, because of their attitude - so they simply no longer had the funds to keep the doors open.

The group that I attend play parties and such with currently, there aren't any of the personality politics. Which is, frankly, one of the reasons that I Like the group that I currently attend the functions of. They're all very easy going, laid back, fun people who simply want to have a good time without the headaches and hassles.

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RE: Activity in the local scenes.... - 7/14/2006 9:59:32 PM

LadiesBladewing

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

I know that this wasn't to me, but I guess it depends on what you consider to be molestation. My first night at a BDSM club, that I attended alone, I was intentionally hit twice with a single tail by a drunken top, outside of the play area, who had not even spoken to me, much less gained my consent. I was also told by many there that night, that this person "can be trusted".

Needless to say, I do not feel comfortable attending events without my Lord or alandra present. Fortunately, I also know that this person's behavior is not representative of the community overall. However, since this person is active and respected by many in the community, I tend to avoid most events. I only attend when there is something that I am highly interested in.

Knight's kyra

BDSM clubs are not the same as going to a munch. I'm not sure if Houston has any BDSM clubs (we visited a couple in New Orleans, but I'm not much of a "bar" person), but here, we have groups that meet in a designated venue, once a month -- it is a scheduled event, and the location is a public (family) restaurant. No whips, no chains -- nothing like that.

We also have a monthly meeting. The meeting takes place at a club, yes, but it is moderated -- there is a speaker, or teaching activity, and then an opportunity to mingle, talk, or participate in consentual play. Sometimes, there are after-parties that are private, invitation-only events. We don't typically attend those, since scening isn't part of what we do. I wouldn't recommend that anyone attend these until they're familiar with the folks in the scene, or unless they're very secure in themselves and capable of both saying and enforcing their "no". People go to these with the intention of playing, and not all of them are monitored (they are, after all, private). I've had things happen at these kinds of events -and- at public BDSM clubs that have nothing to do with the kind of group meetings that I think CrappyDom and I were talking about.

ZWD

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Post #: 62

RE: Activity in the local scenes.... - 7/14/2006 10:15:58 PM

LadiesBladewing

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IronBear,

We've been lucky here. I've participated in 5 states (North Carolina, Georgia, Louisiana, Texas, and New Mexico) and never encountered anything like what you describe. When there has been a (pardon my crass-ness) "jack-off" like the one you describe, they are rapidly evicted from the event in question.

I do have to admit that I've never encountered a group without politics. We have our own politics at home with which we're quite comfortable, and I have to admit that we've had our share of "blackballing" -- once because LEB, our House founder, was black and had both a white mate and a white alpha servant, the second time because I spoke out in favor of poly in a group for submissives where the group leader was bashing it as sinful and destructive of people -- my mistake. Never make valid, rational arguments that publically contradict a group leader when the leader of a group is emotionally bound to an irrational premise. (NOT). I was banned from the group before I knew what hit me. No loss. For the months we kept our noses out of things, I had more time to write. *laughs*

Anyway, to whomever in general, the above being said, every single group of people I've ever been involved with has had its own politics. Even at my job, there are certain things that one maintains a certain sensitivity about. Heck, SCA is one of the most political organizations I was ever involved with. I've been up to my -neck- in politics in groups related to philosophy, alternative spirituality, GLBT... you name it -- wherever people get together, political sashaying crops up. If a person is going to let some politics and some cliquishness keep them from learning about the full breadth and depth of life, think of the many things they will miss. So there's a little politics and some less-than-couth individuals who may need to be beaten off with a stick (ok, so maybe they'll enjoy it for the moment, but if you hit them hard enough, they WILL get the message!) -- there are also some really AMAZING people out there!

ZWD

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Post #: 63

RE: Activity in the local scenes.... - 7/15/2006 2:31:20 AM

heartfeltsub

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Joined: 11/5/2004
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Have been to a Club Kink one time and would never go back, because of the alcohol and that it seems to be more a place to be seen, than it is a place to actually play unlike 1763 or the Sanctuary. (A Club Kink was opened in Atlanta)

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RE: Activity in the local scenes.... - 7/15/2006 6:28:13 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

Have been to a Club Kink one time and would never go back, because of the alcohol and that it seems to be more a place to be seen, than it is a place to actually play unlike 1763 or the Sanctuary. (A Club Kink was opened in Atlanta)

That was my general impression as well.....

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RE: Activity in the local scenes.... - 7/15/2006 7:59:31 AM

kyraofMists

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Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadiesBladewing
BDSM clubs are not the same as going to a munch. I'm not sure if Houston has any BDSM clubs (we visited a couple in New Orleans, but I'm not much of a "bar" person), but here, we have groups that meet in a designated venue, once a month -- it is a scheduled event, and the location is a public (family) restaurant. No whips, no chains -- nothing like that.

We also have a monthly meeting. The meeting takes place at a club, yes, but it is moderated -- there is a speaker, or teaching activity, and then an opportunity to mingle, talk, or participate in consentual play. Sometimes, there are after-parties that are private, invitation-only events. We don't typically attend those, since scening isn't part of what we do. I wouldn't recommend that anyone attend these until they're familiar with the folks in the scene, or unless they're very secure in themselves and capable of both saying and enforcing their "no". People go to these with the intention of playing, and not all of them are monitored (they are, after all, private). I've had things happen at these kinds of events -and- at public BDSM clubs that have nothing to do with the kind of group meetings that I think CrappyDom and I were talking about.

ZWD

I agree with you. I have been to events in several different communities now and my experience at Club Kink is something most would deal with harshly. My experience hasn't turned me off the lifestyle events in general, but it has made me more reserved within the local community.

Kyra

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RE: Activity in the local scenes.... - 7/15/2006 8:01:43 AM

kyraofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

Have been to a Club Kink one time and would never go back, because of the alcohol and that it seems to be more a place to be seen, than it is a place to actually play unlike 1763 or the Sanctuary. (A Club Kink was opened in Atlanta)

There is another place here, Command Performance, that is run by a female dominant and I am completely comfortable in that space. It is like walking into her own personal dungeon; it has a great atmosphere and I enjoy playing there.

Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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Post #: 67

RE: Activity in the local scenes.... - 7/15/2006 10:05:48 AM

DualControl

Posts: 9
Joined: 7/10/2006
From: Bristol, UK
Status: offline

quote:

I have been told a few times that I can not be a true submissive if I do not experience the local scenes. Why do people think this?

I would suggest that it's because they are full of b-s, that's complete nonsense. Most statements with 'true' in tend to be!

And I have been out and about in the local and national scene, many times. I am quite happy there (except for the tendency to play really crap music far too loud).

But if you are not into it, then you are not into it and you shouldn't worry about that one tiny bit. If you want one-on-one only, then fine, enjoy. If you want small select parties at home, then enjoy. If on the other hand you want a thrashing in front of others, then that's cool too.

Don't let anyone tell you how to be 'true' - the most important thing is to be true to you.

< Message edited by DualControl -- 7/15/2006 10:07:19 AM >

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RE: Activity in the local scenes.... - 7/16/2006 12:58:13 AM

littlemissub