How do you find a True Dom?

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How do you find a True Dom? - 1/25/2015 5:47:01 PM

naturaljen69

Posts: 3
Joined: 9/20/2014
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i am naturaljen69 have been begging for 24/7 RTLT i'd get yes that's just what i am looking for then they end up wanting to play online. i would do what they asked of me until i read one of DarkSteven post about subs having rights now i have better sense.
i am a natural and want to serve i really don't know what to do. Are there any real Doms that want 24/7?

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RE: How do you find a True Dom? - 1/25/2015 6:04:46 PM

DarkSteven

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Joined: 5/2/2008
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Yes, there are. But that doesn't help you. You want a Dom in Atlanta.

I've sent you a PM with links to Atlanta area events. Go there, meet people, and network. With a good network in place, you can look much better.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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RE: How do you find a True Dom? - 1/25/2015 7:08:46 PM

peppermint

Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

I was about your age when I started to look for a Dom. I did meet my first play partner from here, however, I checked him out with other people I knew before we played. Through a friend I found out his local munch group. She contacted someone she knew from the group and asked about him. The group leader contacted me. Everything he told me was the truth including his real name. We are still good friends and stay in contact nearly daily.

Although this seemed a fairly safe way to meet I still think in person, face to face is the way to go. I met Gary at a week long kinky camping event. There we got to play in the monitored dungeon and basically enjoy being social around the campfire. By the way, we didn't have sex during the camping event.Three months later he drove 600 miles to visit me at my home. He met my family. He took me to meet some of his family who lived fairly close. We finally had sex. Three months later after thinking long and hard about it, I took a leave of absence from my job (so I could return if need be) and got on a plane to be with him. This summer will be our 10 year anniversary.

Although I have found friends online, I have found way more people who aren't who or what they say they are. In my experience way more than 95% of those I have me online are pretending and not serious. When you go to a munch or a kinky event you can figure that nearly everyone there is serious. It also makes it safer to meet a stranger if others are around.

You need to learn something I feel is important for older ladies looking for a partner. There are way more kinky men our age than there are kinky women. This means you can pick and choose the best one for you.

Hope this helps. If you want to ask anything privately to just me you would need to tell me that here so I can contact you first as I have my profile invisible at the moment.

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RE: How do you find a True Dom? - 1/25/2015 8:33:45 PM

Moderator3

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I will be moving this thread in ten minutes. That would be about a quarter to the hour.

Moved from Introductions to provide the ability to actually discus the question, that cannot be done in the other section.

< Message edited by Moderator3 -- 1/25/2015 8:48:19 PM >

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RE: How do you find a True Dom? - 1/25/2015 8:59:07 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Smart people don't throw themselves in a 24/7 when they have no idea of what this will entail. As your profile indicates you have only experienced online play, you have a great deal to learn about what you do and don't like.

Date. Take your time determining compatibility. Let the relationship grow organically.

But when people say they want 24/7 straight off the bat, it tends to indicate that they can't support themselves and just want a place to move into. If that's not the case, then don't act so desperate.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 1/25/2015 9:00:58 PM >

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RE: How do you find a True Dom? - 1/25/2015 10:06:58 PM

Musicmystery

Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Yes, there are. But that doesn't help you. You want a Dom in Atlanta.

I've sent you a PM with links to Atlanta area events. Go there, meet people, and network. With a good network in place, you can look much better.

^ This.

Do this.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

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RE: How do you find a True Dom? - 1/26/2015 3:14:06 AM

NookieNotes

Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
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Agreed. Get out to local events. Meet real people who actually live this lifestyle. Observe them. learn from them. Meet people who want what you want, where you can feel their energy.

Online is fun, but, to me, it is a supplement to real world experience.

Spanking yourself has NOTHING on being spanked by someone else. Deciding to do what he says after a Skype call has nothing in common with following directions when he is right there.

And, as stated above, 24/7 is something you work towards together. You don't just decide you want it and do it with the next guy you meet. You build that relationship.

Best of luck!

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RE: How do you find a True Dom? - 1/26/2015 7:00:08 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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OP, as a grown up woman, what type of response do you expect when you say you are "begging" for a 24/7 with a "real" Dom? All of that shows you are being naive and desperate, both of which are not attractive and will bring on predators.

Have some self worth and present yourself as a confident woman who values herself.

You can be a sub and do that.

Relationships are hard to find, at least good ones, so patience is required.

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RE: How do you find a True Dom? - 1/26/2015 10:24:18 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: naturaljen69

i am naturaljen69 have been begging for 24/7 RTLT i'd get yes that's just what i am looking for then they end up wanting to play online. i would do what they asked of me until i read one of DarkSteven post about subs having rights now i have better sense.
i am a natural and want to serve i really don't know what to do. Are there any real Doms that want 24/7?

I would also advise you to reconsider using the terms "Real" or "True" in relationship to dominants or submissives. Since there are no concrete and exacting rules to what defines either role, the words "real" and "true" become subjective and therefore a mirage.

The best dominant out there for you is the one that suits you the best and is able to meet what your needs are.

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RE: How do you find a True Dom? - 1/31/2015 1:43:00 PM

ireneDreams

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Finding the Dom who best fits you is subsequent to actually getting out from behind the computer and actually showing up, in the flesh, at munches and events. I do not buy shoes online, because I must try them on to ensure a good fit. The same can be said for relationships in the lifestyle. Get out, meet people, learn from your submissive peers about submission in real time.
Do not hook up with the first Dom, Dick or Harry who demands you kneel before him and call him Master at first contact.
Learn what makes you tick. Learn what traits you appreciate or dislike in a partner. Learn what You like or dislike in D/s so you can bring an educated, confident woman to the table. These things will help keep you safe as you travel this journey. Good luck!

(in reply to Gauge)

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RE: How do you find a True Dom? - 1/31/2015 2:21:57 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

Even though I buy all my shoes online. I agree. The best way for you to fast track the process is to go to a munch.

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RE: How do you find a True Dom? - 2/1/2015 9:34:54 AM

wickkeddesire

Posts: 37
Joined: 1/3/2015
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What do you think a true dom/me is? An argument can be made should such a thing truly exist there be monsters. Although many claim to be true – it depends on what you mean by true and what and who would they be true too. I say many times an errant object is of no interest to me – or insert in hole – or thrash it into next week with some pots and pans and a muffin whisk

No one wants that – although these people exist in many walks of being. They are driven by faulty brain sprockets to depths of their depravity.

So you want the next best thing
1. Bake muffins, many many muffins in muffin baking corset and boots, or good heels and present them in the manner known as wanton.
2. Present yourself in corset and boots to the nearest true dom (most are about late at night as there partner sleeps and can be found on the internet talking pants about their 50 subs/slaves readily available to eek one out should the opportune arise
3. Discuss with these scallywags – there words I do not believe they are easily spotted unless you have a singular mind/ideal and to be fair you will have gotten exactly what you asked for – so pick the proper ones. About you, your thoughts and mind.
4. If you present yourself as an object to my kind you will be rejected – although not the plate of muffins.
5. You are and will always be an equal – I am not explaining this one it is too complex – most be are unaware they should be and they usually become entrapped and ensnared and so on...but i am glad you are now remotely aware this is how it should be. No tmany people come to this realisation on account of the plethora of bad steroptypes thatinfest all places.

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