RE: FYI Ladies: Memes for photos = "Might Be A Man".

RE: FYI Ladies: Memes for photos = "Might Be A Man". (Full Version)

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RockaRolla -> RE: FYI Ladies: Memes for photos = "Might Be A Man". (1/27/2015 3:40:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: The other pattern I see is a poster or two take no part in the initial discussion, but quick to come to OP's defense as soon as a flounce ensues. Interesting. From what I've seen, it's more like a tag team: one person responds, and others line up to say the same thing but in different words. Are you talking pre- or post-flounce?

PeonForHer -> RE: FYI Ladies: Memes for photos = "Might Be A Man". (1/27/2015 3:45:07 PM)
quote: Seriously, though, it doesn't take a newcomer or a newbie to these Message Boards to be oblivious to the virtual reality that coming on like gangbusters and copping an attitude isn't going to get an OP any accolades. It's just common sense, really, to have some sense of decorum when entering a roomful of strangers. Apparently it isn't all that common a sense - it does seem to happen to quite a large proportion of newbies here. Ah ... memories of when I first turned up here, all fired up. Mod 11 was around then - and she didn't like newbies, and most especially male newbies. However, she had the brains of a bluebottle so it didn't really matter. I was very, very innocent, FO. I'd always thought femdoms were just a figment of my imagination, but here they were, for real. I annoyed people. People jabbed at me, and I got very aggressive as a result. But, jeez, I look back and think, 'was it all necessary?'

PeonForHer -> RE: FYI Ladies: Memes for photos = "Might Be A Man". (1/27/2015 3:53:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RockaRolla Are you talking pre- or post-flounce? Either, RR. Seriously: you'll see it. People will needle and needle and needle - then the OP will blow a gasket, and then 'flounce'. I don't get it. People turn up here who are obviously innocent and ignorant. But that's not a crime, surely? People can learn. I was most certainly ignorant and innocent when I turned up here - but I was also a) good with words, b) aggressive with them, too and c) had good pics on my profile. So I was given a relatively easy ride. But ... I don't know ... it does seem that newbies very much have to 'fit' here. It seems a little pisspoor that such 'fitting' is generally made so hard, to me. The bottom line for me is that BDSM is pioneering territory and it will attract oddballs. People should allow newbies to be at least somewhat odd, I feel. God help us that this BDSM world of ours should ever become stuffed up and staid.

FieryOpal -> RE: FYI Ladies: Memes for photos = "Might Be A Man". (1/27/2015 4:07:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: ORIGINAL: FieryOpal Seriously, though, it doesn't take a newcomer or a newbie to these Message Boards to be oblivious to the virtual reality that coming on like gangbusters and copping an attitude isn't going to get an OP any accolades. It's just common sense, really, to have some sense of decorum when entering a roomful of strangers. Apparently it isn't all that common a sense - it does seem to happen to quite a large proportion of newbies here. Ah ... memories of when I first turned up here, all fired up. Mod 11 was around then - and she didn't like newbies, and most especially male newbies. However, she had the brains of a bluebottle so it didn't really matter. \ I was very, very innocent, FO. I'd always thought femdoms were just a figment of my imagination, but here they were, for real. I annoyed people. People jabbed at me, and I got very aggressive as a result. But, jeez, I look back and think, 'was it all necessary?' Listen, I have a son who's 17, but isn't mouthy. (I know, hard to believe when 15-year-olds think they know everything already, and there's nothing new you can tell them.) He acts mature for his age to where he has freshman & sophomore college co-eds hitting on him. I don't know how old you were when you came to CM in 2008, but OP is in his mid-30s, not a younger buck in his 20s who may not know any better. When a 50-year-old woman who should have better sense comes asking Masters whether it's required of a submissive to have sex with a Dominant upon first meet, then she's not going to get molly-coddled. She wouldn't on a vanilla forum either. And neither should a 34-year-old man have to be taught manners.

RockaRolla -> RE: FYI Ladies: Memes for photos = "Might Be A Man". (1/27/2015 4:11:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: ORIGINAL: RockaRolla Are you talking pre- or post-flounce? Either, RR. Seriously: you'll see it. People will needle and needle and needle - then the OP will blow a gasket, and then 'flounce'. I don't get it. People turn up here who are obviously innocent and ignorant. But that's not a crime, surely? People can learn. I was most certainly ignorant and innocent when I turned up here - but I was also a) good with words, b) aggressive with them, too and c) had good pics on my profile. So I was given a relatively easy ride. But ... I don't know ... it does seem that newbies very much have to 'fit' here. It seems a little pisspoor that such 'fitting' is generally made so hard, to me. The bottom line for me is that BDSM is pioneering territory and it will attract oddballs. People should allow newbies to be at least somewhat odd, I feel. God help us that this BDSM world of ours should ever become stuffed up and staid. I don't see anything here that isn't present in other internet communities. You'll have to fit in any group, pretty much. Like I'd mentioned early in the thread about hazing new posters, a lot of courtesy tends to fly out the window with new posters due to an assumption that the rules of communication are different from in the real world. It's the same reason why people, and mostly women, get a flood of rude messages from guys trying to hook up. If the OP walked into a party where we all were conversing and started telling women how to conduct themselves he would've been run out so quickly there'd be no need to flounce. The same applies here.

PeonForHer -> RE: FYI Ladies: Memes for photos = "Might Be A Man". (1/27/2015 4:19:44 PM)
FR FO, Roxie, Oh well, perhaps it's just the way internet life is. Or this site, anyway. Jesus, though: tedious, much. Why do people bother?

RockaRolla -> RE: FYI Ladies: Memes for photos = "Might Be A Man". (1/27/2015 4:24:28 PM)
Masochism, perhaps?

Rock3tOwls -> RE: FYI Ladies: Memes for photos = "Might Be A Man". (1/27/2015 4:53:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RockaRolla quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: ORIGINAL: RockaRolla Are you talking pre- or post-flounce? Either, RR. Seriously: you'll see it. People will needle and needle and needle - then the OP will blow a gasket, and then 'flounce'. I don't get it. People turn up here who are obviously innocent and ignorant. But that's not a crime, surely? People can learn. I was most certainly ignorant and innocent when I turned up here - but I was also a) good with words, b) aggressive with them, too and c) had good pics on my profile. So I was given a relatively easy ride. But ... I don't know ... it does seem that newbies very much have to 'fit' here. It seems a little pisspoor that such 'fitting' is generally made so hard, to me. The bottom line for me is that BDSM is pioneering territory and it will attract oddballs. People should allow newbies to be at least somewhat odd, I feel. God help us that this BDSM world of ours should ever become stuffed up and staid. I don't see anything here that isn't present in other internet communities. You'll have to fit in any group, pretty much. Like I'd mentioned early in the thread about hazing new posters, a lot of courtesy tends to fly out the window with new posters due to an assumption that the rules of communication are different from in the real world. It's the same reason why people, and mostly women, get a flood of rude messages from guys trying to hook up. If the OP walked into a party where we all were conversing and started telling women how to conduct themselves he would've been run out so quickly there'd be no need to flounce. The same applies here. This. All of this. Too many people assume that chat online is completely different from every day conversation. It isn't. To charge in, sword at the ready, telling other people how to conduct themselves is rude in any forum - digital or not. He is more than old enough to understand that presenting an opinion as fact and as something that should be followed was a bad idea. He is old enough to understand that something like that would be received poorly.

GoddessManko -> RE: FYI Ladies: Memes for photos = "Might Be A Man". (1/27/2015 5:25:19 PM)
The OP's point might have been valid but perhaps he was contacting the wrong people. I outline it in my profile I'm no longer seeking. Also talking to the subs who do go to these munches and play parties, I already know we would likely not be a match and they might as well keep on keeping on. Their play is more about mutual kinkterests than finding a woman they truly admire and wish to submit to. And I cum while domming, there's no way I'm doing that in a room full of strangers. Personal preference.

RemoteUser -> RE: FYI Ladies: Memes for photos = "Might Be A Man". (1/27/2015 5:31:54 PM)
I think people with memes can be girls. But those long haired guys are just freaks. Don't trust them as far as you can throw them.

Gauge -> RE: FYI Ladies: Memes for photos = "Might Be A Man". (1/27/2015 5:37:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RemoteUser I think people with memes can be girls. But those long haired guys are just freaks. Don't trust them as far as you can throw them. And this is why I am bald.

RemoteUser -> RE: FYI Ladies: Memes for photos = "Might Be A Man". (1/27/2015 5:45:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge quote: ORIGINAL: RemoteUser I think people with memes can be girls. But those long haired guys are just freaks. Don't trust them as far as you can throw them. And this is why I am bald. I never said where that long hair was. [:D]

GoddessManko -> RE: FYI Ladies: Memes for photos = "Might Be A Man". (1/27/2015 5:47:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RemoteUser I never said where that long hair was. [:D] Several possibilities flashed through my mind like the filthy pervert that I am, LOL!

orgasmdenial12 -> RE: FYI Ladies: Memes for photos = "Might Be A Man". (1/27/2015 11:31:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer FR Seriously, folks, what is the point of all this? I see it over and over again and I honestly don't get it. A newbie turns up and makes what he thinks is a valuable point. As a newbie, he doesn't realise that said point is old hat to us regulars. Not one, not two, but lots of people, turn up to point out his failings, at various levels of 'snide'. Eventually, unsurprisingly, the OP gets angry, at which point people will triumphantly highlight his anger as a personality-failing. Then he'll announce his departure, which will be trumpeted as a 'flounce' and a further personality-failing. I mean, really, what's it all about? Do people find this extremely-oft-repeated pattern entertaining in some way that I can't discern? For me, the irritating factor was that it was yet more in a long line of 'you might be a man' accusations. This is insulting, it's irritating, it feeds into a whole male paranoia about women's identity that ends up with us having to 'prove' that we're not a man with phone calls, photos, skype conversations, etc. And for what? How, exactly, does this benefit us women? Answer - it doesn't. The whole discourse disempowers us, puts us on the defensive and makes any attempts to maintain distance with new contacts or keep our identity private difficult and fraught with accusations. The very fact that the OP blew up and stormed off when the exact words of his post were turned into a warning for men proves to me that his post was inherently offensive, he just didn't see the offensiveness of it till it was someone else saying it to him. I don't normally participate in newbie-baiting, but I found this post offensive and I wanted to challenge it. It wouldn't hurt the OP to have a think about why his post was not appropriate either.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: FYI Ladies: Memes for photos = "Might Be A Man". (1/28/2015 2:33:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12 quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer FR Seriously, folks, what is the point of all this? I see it over and over again and I honestly don't get it. A newbie turns up and makes what he thinks is a valuable point. As a newbie, he doesn't realise that said point is old hat to us regulars. Not one, not two, but lots of people, turn up to point out his failings, at various levels of 'snide'. Eventually, unsurprisingly, the OP gets angry, at which point people will triumphantly highlight his anger as a personality-failing. Then he'll announce his departure, which will be trumpeted as a 'flounce' and a further personality-failing. I mean, really, what's it all about? Do people find this extremely-oft-repeated pattern entertaining in some way that I can't discern? For me, the irritating factor was that it was yet more in a long line of 'you might be a man' accusations. This is insulting, it's irritating, it feeds into a whole male paranoia about women's identity that ends up with us having to 'prove' that we're not a man with phone calls, photos, skype conversations, etc. And for what? How, exactly, does this benefit us women? Answer - it doesn't. The whole discourse disempowers us, puts us on the defensive and makes any attempts to maintain distance with new contacts or keep our identity private difficult and fraught with accusations. The very fact that the OP blew up and stormed off when the exact words of his post were turned into a warning for men proves to me that his post was inherently offensive, he just didn't see the offensiveness of it till it was someone else saying it to him. I don't normally participate in newbie-baiting, but I found this post offensive and I wanted to challenge it. It wouldn't hurt the OP to have a think about why his post was not appropriate either. Here is an absolute perfect example of why OP's post was taken apart. Peon posited a point, an opinion. But more importantly, he didn't offend anyone and has ASKED. Thus promoting a discussion on his posit and question. OD came back with reasoned debate and why she felt it was irritating and insulting. OP did nothing of the sort. He just came in and postulated. His opening salvo was: "FYI Ladies: If your profile picture is a Meme or a Sex Toy or some guy's ass or a series of porn photos, the first impression the viewer will have is to wonder if you might be a man." Not so much a comment and not even a veiled question; just an insulting statement of his own opinion as if it was a known true fact. One twoo wayism at its finest. He then goes on to state: "...However, so you know, memes for photos = "Might Be A Man"." Dictating much?? That in itself is just plain insulting. Then, to cap it all, he lectures: "That is all." Seriously.... WTF??? How fucking RUDE is that?? Who the hell does he think he is??? Stephen Hawking lecturing on Quantum Physics? It showed the most outrageous sense of bad manners and gobshite asshattery. Someone of his age should know at least some rudimentary manners and etiquette. As Rocket said: To charge in, sword at the ready, telling other people how to conduct themselves is rude in any forum - digital or not. And that is why soo many of us jumped on him. It wasn't because of him being new, or weird, or uneducated. That fact that he came in here blustering to everyone of his naivety as if it were a newly discovered fact.

thishereboi -> RE: FYI Ladies: Memes for photos = "Might Be A Man". (1/28/2015 6:32:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer FR Seriously, folks, what is the point of all this? I see it over and over again and I honestly don't get it. A newbie turns up and makes what he thinks is a valuable point. As a newbie, he doesn't realise that said point is old hat to us regulars. Not one, not two, but lots of people, turn up to point out his failings, at various levels of 'snide'. Eventually, unsurprisingly, the OP gets angry, at which point people will triumphantly highlight his anger as a personality-failing. Then he'll announce his departure, which will be trumpeted as a 'flounce' and a further personality-failing. I mean, really, what's it all about? Do people find this extremely-oft-repeated pattern entertaining in some way that I can't discern? I have seen that happen and I have also seen newbies come in, make some ridiculous assertion, get snarked at and either explain what they meant or admit it was stupid and move on. They didn't puff up and start insulting all aspects of the forums or act all buthurt because someone on the internet said something mean. I know I have said some really stupid things on here and have been called on it. Not the end of the world or any reason for me to play the flounce card. As to the entertaining aspect. I admit I laughed my ass off when I read at least one of the replies. [8D]

thishereboi -> RE: FYI Ladies: Memes for photos = "Might Be A Man". (1/28/2015 6:42:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: The other pattern I see is a poster or two take no part in the initial discussion, but quick to come to OP's defense as soon as a flounce ensues. Interesting. From what I've seen, it's more like a tag team: one person responds, and others line up to say the same thing but in different words. The OP stated something as fact that was wrong. If he had worded it as his opinion or implied in any way that he was referring to a segment of the population he might have gotten a discussion going. But he made the claim that "the first impression the viewer will have is t wonder if you might be a man" then he went on to explain why he was right and ended with that's all. Now I am sorry but there are only so many ways you can say "you're wrong" and personally I am kinda proud of them for coming up which such interesting variations. Personally if I had that many people jump up and say I was wrong, I might have to actually stop and think that maybe I am.

GoddessManko -> RE: FYI Ladies: Memes for photos = "Might Be A Man". (1/28/2015 6:48:20 AM)
I read it as not being disrespectful. He even said "respectfully" but he did make a generalized statement for people other than himself. Which even if it was true, was the wrong way to pose his OP. And people with memes might no longer be seeking and didn't change their profile.

GotSteel -> RE: FYI Ladies: Memes for photos = "Might Be A Man". (1/28/2015 6:32:25 PM)
Welcome to the forums. So there's a bit of a be a dick to new posters culture around here and it's going to be exacerbated in this thread because your trying to tell a bunch of people who've overwhelmingly been here for years how things work around here. It just isn't going to go over well. My suggestion rather than getting argumentative with them is to just give this thread up and move on to another topic.

SeekingTrinity -> RE: FYI Ladies: Memes for photos = "Might Be A Man". (1/28/2015 7:12:18 PM)
~FRing it~ Well, I'm a viewer as well...and the last thing I wonder if I see a meme pic is whether it's some dude trying to be a lady online. So OP's sweeping generalization is really unique to only one viewer...him. Not all viewers. For me personally, I assume it's just someone that might be uncomfortable publicly posting their own picture on their profile for what could be very valid reasons. It's got nothing to do with the amount of years I've been around here. It's just because I personally feel on the subject at hand.

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