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Did you ever think about.... - 1/27/2015 2:22:43 AM   
Kirata


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We talk a lot from time to time about attitudes and getting through life. One of the things I learned playing tournament poker is that losing a tournament isn't the same as not winning one. The latter is guaranteed. You can't expect to win them all. But you can make sure you don't lose one by fucking up. Playing that way you never "lose" tournaments, you just encounter some you aren't able to win.

For what it's worth, I think that attitude is generalizable to life. It has sure stood the test of time for me.

K.







< Message edited by Kirata -- 1/27/2015 2:34:32 AM >
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RE: Did you ever think about.... - 1/27/2015 2:39:06 AM   
NookieNotes


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Status: offline 		Agreed. My philosophy is, "Win, or fail spectacularly."

In other words, I'm going to fail because I didn't try, or didn't put it all in there. I'll fail because it wasn't meant to be, learn the lessons I can, and move on.

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RE: Did you ever think about.... - 1/27/2015 3:18:56 AM   
NorthernGent


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Status: offline 		I tend to view life as opportunities and paths, rather than 'winning' and 'losing', as there are positives and negatives in any given situation.

I don't dwell on things that turn out not to my liking. As you say: "can't win 'em all".

And, by nature I'm the sort of person who would rather give 100% and 'lose' than give 50% and 'win'.

To me, no regrets means giving it your all whatever the outcome, and I don't do things half-hearted. All or nothing. If it's not for me then no use in just going through the motions: better to not do it at all and focus your energy elsewhere.

"Getting through life" is not how I would put it for myself, as, although I am subject to anxieties like anyone else, I tend to see life as one big opportunity.



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RE: Did you ever think about.... - 1/27/2015 6:31:01 AM   
DesFIP


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Status: offline 		And sometimes nothing you do can effect it. I remember my daughter's first Quarterhorse show. She worked her ass off and never made the cut. When she asked her trainer what she could have done better, the answer was "Nothing. You were perfect. But your horse wasn't into it", He loved 4H shows and won them easily. He hated Quarterhorse. Her next horse was an abysmal failure at 4H and a success at Quarterhorse.

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RE: Did you ever think about.... - 1/27/2015 9:18:31 PM   
RemoteUser


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Status: offline 		Controlling the losses and taking the unexpected win seems too dystopian for me (and I love dystopia).

I prefer to control my reaction to the loss or win, and accept that either can and will occur.

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RE: Did you ever think about.... - 1/27/2015 9:25:01 PM   
GoddessManko


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Status: offline 		I plan to lose in order to win.

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RE: Did you ever think about.... - 1/28/2015 5:37:33 AM   
Musicmystery


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata


We talk a lot from time to time about attitudes and getting through life. One of the things I learned playing tournament poker is that losing a tournament isn't the same as not winning one. The latter is guaranteed. You can't expect to win them all. But you can make sure you don't lose one by fucking up. Playing that way you never "lose" tournaments, you just encounter some you aren't able to win.

For what it's worth, I think that attitude is generalizable to life. It has sure stood the test of time for me.

K.








When I see students who want different results, and have plans to do things differently, I tell them that won't be enough, that it won't last. They will first need to change how they're being, how they show up in the world, what kind of person they want to be, and need to be to effect the change. Then, that new person does the different things.

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RE: Did you ever think about.... - 1/28/2015 6:57:05 AM   
needlesandpins


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Status: offline 		In Yorkshire we have a rather flippant short hand way of saying 'it will be alright'. It comes out as 'b r8' phonetically. It basically means you can't be bothered to put ant more effort in. I'm exceptionally competitive, but mostly it's with myself. I want to be the best that I can be at the things that I do. When I was showing my horses I made sure they were turned out to the very best standard that I could, and if the horse had an off day there was nothing I could do about that. If I, and the horse was knocked down to something that wasn't as good as us, that annoyed me.

I also trained other people, and I'd help them for their first season showing. I'd ask them 'Are you both ready for the ring?.'. One client once said while looking at her horse 'it'll b r8'. I told her that if that was truly her thoughts then we had work to do, because it most certainly wouldn't 'b r8'! I was horrified. Thankfully she was talking about her nerves, and not the horse. It's an example that I have used since though. Take stock of what you are doing, because if it really means enough to you, and all you can do is be flippant enough to say 'it'll b r8' then you have a problem, and you need to work harder.

needles

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RE: Did you ever think about.... - 1/28/2015 8:40:09 AM   
kdsub


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Status: offline 		I think another way to describe your post is to say have confidence in your preparation and abilities... I have found you can win in the long run even with set backs if you compete with confidence. The perception of competence and control will serve you well even if all your goals are not accomplished immediately.

Butch

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RE: Did you ever think about.... - 1/28/2015 11:33:00 AM   
Gauge


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Status: offline 		This is a fast reply.

To paraphrase Thomas Edison: I didn't fail. I just found 10,000 ways to not make a light bulb.



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RE: Did you ever think about.... - 1/28/2015 11:44:59 AM   
camille65


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From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		I don't calculate winning or losing, only trying. If it goes well then super duper, if it goes badly... hey I attempted it. Although now that I think about it, not trying is a form of losing.

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RE: Did you ever think about.... - 1/28/2015 12:30:49 PM   
FieryOpal


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

To paraphrase Thomas Edison: I didn't fail. I just found 10,000 ways to not make a light bulb.

QFT, exactly this. Talk about persistence, even after 99 or 100 attempts. I think many of us give up too soon or run out of innovative ideas. And Camille...

quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

I don't calculate winning or losing, only trying.... not trying is a form of losing.

This makes me think of boys and sports, my boys and their buddies while growing up. Mine were naturals, but not always the case with other kids. How so many people feel so pressured to *win* that they're afraid or too anxious to try. It's the difference between enjoying the journey and being obsessed with getting to the destination at all costs, at the expense of one's enjoyment and that of others.

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RE: Did you ever think about.... - 1/28/2015 12:35:55 PM   
vincentML


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Joined: 10/31/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata


We talk a lot from time to time about attitudes and getting through life. One of the things I learned playing tournament poker is that losing a tournament isn't the same as not winning one. The latter is guaranteed. You can't expect to win them all.But you can make sure you don't lose one by fucking up. Playing that way you never "lose" tournaments, you just encounter some you aren't able to win.

For what it's worth, I think that attitude is generalizable to life. It has sure stood the test of time for me.

K.








Your certainty discounts the role of luck and of random events in poker and in life. It is a conceit to believe you can always be in control of your own fortunes.

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RE: Did you ever think about.... - 1/28/2015 12:57:44 PM   
usememistress775


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Status: offline 		I don't play to win or lose, but like Bredon I play to play a beautiful game.

If you don't get the reference go read The Name of the Wind and The Wise Man's Fear by Patrick Rothfuss.

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RE: Did you ever think about.... - 1/28/2015 1:04:34 PM   
Kirata


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From: USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata

We talk a lot from time to time about attitudes and getting through life. One of the things I learned playing tournament poker is that losing a tournament isn't the same as not winning one. The latter is guaranteed. You can't expect to win them all.But you can make sure you don't lose one by fucking up. Playing that way you never "lose" tournaments, you just encounter some you aren't able to win.

For what it's worth, I think that attitude is generalizable to life. It has sure stood the test of time for me.

Your certainty discounts the role of luck and of random events in poker and in life. It is a conceit to believe you can always be in control of your own fortunes.

I invite you to notice that the subject of that highlighted sentence is "you," i.e., oneself, not random events or fortune.

For further assistance, see here.

K.

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RE: Did you ever think about.... - 1/28/2015 1:22:38 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline 		I'm honestly struggling to respond on this thread because I don't think I see much as win or lose in my life. Or, rather, win or not win. While I'm super competitive about lots of things in a fun way (I think), I don't think that not succeeding at everything I do, every time, has ever crossed my mind as something I have to think about or deal with. So I couldn't really say if I have an attitude or philosophy regarding the matter. It's not on my radar.

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RE: Did you ever think about.... - 1/28/2015 2:14:11 PM   
Musicmystery


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Joined: 3/14/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata


We talk a lot from time to time about attitudes and getting through life. One of the things I learned playing tournament poker is that losing a tournament isn't the same as not winning one. The latter is guaranteed. You can't expect to win them all.But you can make sure you don't lose one by fucking up. Playing that way you never "lose" tournaments, you just encounter some you aren't able to win.

For what it's worth, I think that attitude is generalizable to life. It has sure stood the test of time for me.

K.








Your certainty discounts the role of luck and of random events in poker and in life. It is a conceit to believe you can always be in control of your own fortunes.

Since you're misconstrued his post, I think the conceit is yours.

Seriously -- take a second look. It's not what you said.

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RE: Did you ever think about.... - 1/29/2015 4:45:36 AM   
NorthernGent


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Joined: 7/10/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

And sometimes nothing you do can effect it. I remember my daughter's first Quarterhorse show. She worked her ass off and never made the cut. When she asked her trainer what she could have done better, the answer was "Nothing. You were perfect. But your horse wasn't into it", He loved 4H shows and won them easily. He hated Quarterhorse. Her next horse was an abysmal failure at 4H and a success at Quarterhorse.



I see your point, DesFIP, although I do think there is always room for improvement.

On the other hand, however, I do think that you (general you) have to enjoy what you have earned.

We all know people, I'm sure, who can't appreciate their 'successes' (for various reasons).

By all means aim to improve, but give yourself a pat on the back when you've done something well.



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I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

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RE: Did you ever think about.... - 1/29/2015 8:51:22 AM   
vincentML


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Joined: 10/31/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata


quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata

We talk a lot from time to time about attitudes and getting through life. One of the things I learned playing tournament poker is that losing a tournament isn't the same as not winning one. The latter is guaranteed. You can't expect to win them all.But you can make sure you don't lose one by fucking up. Playing that way you never "lose" tournaments, you just encounter some you aren't able to win.

For what it's worth, I think that attitude is generalizable to life. It has sure stood the test of time for me.

Your certainty discounts the role of luck and of random events in poker and in life. It is a conceit to believe you can always be in control of your own fortunes.

I invite you to notice that the subject of that highlighted sentence is "you," i.e., oneself, not random events or fortune.

For further assistance, see here.

K.


The opening subject pronoun of the paragraph is in the first person plural. Followed by the first person singular. After which you switch to the second person singular. Seriously, your inability to control voice in a sloppily written paragraph is no excuse to avoid responding to the point I made: luck and happenstance often control the progress of poker and life, and we are subject often to the whims of fate.

The sentence I highlighted refers substantively to both the preceding and following ideas in the paragraph. Either agree or disagree, but please don't waste our time with sophomoric nit picking at your own inadequate and confused use of subject voice.

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RE: Did you ever think about.... - 1/29/2015 8:11:30 PM   
Kirata


Posts: 15477
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata
quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata

We talk a lot from time to time about attitudes and getting through life. One of the things I learned playing tournament poker is that losing a tournament isn't the same as not winning one. The latter is guaranteed. You can't expect to win them all.But you can make sure you don't lose one by fucking up. Playing that way you never "lose" tournaments, you just encounter some you aren't able to win.

For what it's worth, I think that attitude is generalizable to life. It has sure stood the test of time for me.

Your certainty discounts the role of luck and of random events in poker and in life. It is a conceit to believe you can always be in control of your own fortunes.

I invite you to notice that the subject of that highlighted sentence is "you," i.e., oneself, not random events or fortune.

For further assistance, see here.

The opening subject pronoun of the paragraph is in the first person plural. Followed by the first person singular. After which you switch to the second person singular. Seriously, your inability to control voice in a sloppily written paragraph is no excuse to avoid responding to the point I made: luck and happenstance often control the progress of poker and life, and we are subject often to the whims of fate.

The sentence I highlighted refers substantively to both the preceding and following ideas in the paragraph. Either agree or disagree, but please don't waste our time with sophomoric nit picking at your own inadequate and confused use of subject voice.

I didn't mean the grammatical subject, and I'm sorry that you find standard English so difficult to follow. The subject (topic?) of the highlighted sentence is what you can do, i.e., make sure you don't fuck up; make sure that your losses are due to events you can't control, not ones you can.

See how easy it is to read when you know the tricks?

K.


< Message edited by Kirata -- 1/29/2015 8:12:17 PM >

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