RE: Non Traditional Intimacy

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RE: Non Traditional Intimacy - 7/15/2006 8:33:40 AM

Dollbecky

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Joined: 10/22/2005
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I have a lover who I dont have intercourse with...we kiss we snuggle we laugh we playfight we use silly pet names we hug and once in a blue moon one might hold the other while mastibastion happens...We use to have sex ....but due to meds(for 6 months) my lover lost his lidbido and then due to a dreadful realationship he lost his conifidence //shrug// now we find that "fooling around" actally suits us better.
We are both happy with things as they are.

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RE: Non Traditional Intimacy - 7/15/2006 8:36:26 PM

LotusSong

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Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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Slave and I have been together 9 years. We agreed in the beginning never to have intercourse. The agreement is that he would never see me again should it ever happen, we value our relationship more than that act. We are both married so I made that our hard limit because it keeps one's perspective. It also keeps the D/s alive.

I had noticed when couples incorporate the sex along with the D/s... soon the D/s and becomes less and less... and the sex the main focus. This way we keep thinking up new things to get the same satisfaction.

It's worked for us.

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RE: Non Traditional Intimacy - 7/16/2006 4:29:37 AM

cloudboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Slave and I have been together 9 years. We agreed in the beginning never to have intercourse. The agreement is that he would never see me again should it ever happen, we value our relationship more than that act. We are both married so I made that our hard limit because it keeps one's perspective. It also keeps the D/s alive.

I had noticed when couples incorporate the sex along with the D/s... soon the D/s and becomes less and less... and the sex the main focus. This way we keep thinking up new things to get the same satisfaction.

It's worked for us.

No intercourse does not mean no sex.

The idea of no sex in a BDSM relationship is far afield of the question I asked and the relationship I am in, and I suppose the point of my question was more --- who is into alternative sex that does not involve intercourse.

(in reply to LotusSong)

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RE: Non Traditional Intimacy - 7/16/2006 10:14:44 AM

LotusSong

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ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! in that case- none of your business :)

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RE: Non Traditional Intimacy - 7/16/2006 11:02:15 AM

cloudboy

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Well, "no sex" does include "no intercourse," but "no intercourse" does not include "no sex."

(In terms of definitions.)

(in reply to LotusSong)

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RE: Non Traditional Intimacy - 7/16/2006 1:03:33 PM

SDFemDom4cuck

Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
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quote:

Well, "no sex" does include "no intercourse," but "no intercourse" does not include "no sex."

(In terms of definitions.)

Beautifully put and absolutely correct. I, for one, will definitely remember that verbiage in future.

When I said My former cuckold and I had intercourse once I meant typical male/penis-female/vaginal. I did not intend for it to come across as there not having been any other forms of sex or orgasm involved during the duration of the relationship. W/we enjoyed frequent strap on training and intercourse as well as oral worship and forced masturbation and milking. he found being allowed only sexual intercourse with Me while using a strap on probably one of the most humiliating of all acts given his perfectly capable equipment being present.

quote:

I had noticed when couples incorporate the sex along with the D/s... soon the D/s and becomes less and less... and the sex the main focus. This way we keep thinking up new things to get the same satisfaction.

I agree completely LotusSong. It becomes less about service and more about the orgasm. Frankly I've never believed in using orgasm as a reward for good service. Service and the ability to serve well should be reward within itself. The pleasure of one's Dominant should become their pleasure. Otherwise service becomes fodder for the ultimate goal of being allowed orgasm. If that makes sense.

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She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
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Post #: 26