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How do you live 24/7 Ds-relationship? - 2/7/2015 4:27:22 AM   
pahkasika


Posts: 7
Joined: 7/28/2005
Status: offline 		It's all in the heading...how?
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RE: How do you live 24/7 Ds-relationship? - 2/7/2015 10:13:15 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Simple. When a sub is at work, he or she abides by the rules set out by his or her Dom. When the sub is at home, the same. Or shopping, or at a baseball game.

24/7 means that the relationship is there 24/7. It does not mean that there is 24/7 kink, bondage, or nudity.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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RE: How do you live 24/7 Ds-relationship? - 2/7/2015 10:19:19 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline
I would add that a smart, experienced dominant would understand that there may be some conflicting issues, out in "the real world" (which Steven kind of alluded to).

But, even if we exclude the extremes (and allow me to go all 'nilla on this thread); I once worked a job where jewelry of ANY kind was not allowed; this included necklaces (even religious medals), rings (my wedding ring), etc. I was allowed to wear a scapula because it was cloth; not metal.

A smart, experienced dominant would realize that rules like this would need to be observed, while at work.



Michael

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RE: How do you live 24/7 Ds-relationship? - 2/7/2015 10:22:59 AM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline 		Exactly as DS said. My sub had a revelation today to all I'd been doing to train him and to what end. He is excited, happy and appreciative. It is lovely to have those rewarding moments as an Owner.
Part of my Ownership style of Domination is to have my sub grow, as a sub, a person and a member of society. Some want their subs to grow towards being more bound within the union, from sub to slave. Some are content with where their subs are and want naught more than to share D/s moments. There are many various ways to own.
Precisely why it's My way or the HIGHWAY as far as Domination technique. You might find doors open that were never considered before or even acknowledged.
ETA, I think DS means rules the D might give while the sub is at work which would be "unknown" to those around him. Nookie and I discussed wearing things under clothes for example,It makes me feel like my influence is still there.

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 2/7/2015 10:28:04 AM >

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RE: How do you live 24/7 Ds-relationship? - 2/7/2015 12:02:22 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		If you have to ask how, I think you may be better asking yourself why? Slave role play is as valid as slave lifestyle. If 24/7 doesn't come natural and you have to ask how to do it, then maybe you are trying to extend a role play perspective into a lifestyle which is a tough fit. . . . this is the thought that strikes me when I see your question.

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RE: How do you live 24/7 Ds-relationship? - 2/7/2015 6:32:11 PM   
slvemike4u


Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
Status: offline 		Usually one day at a time

_____________________________

If we want things to stay as they are,things will have to change...Tancredi from "the Leopard"

Forget Guns-----Ban the pools

Funny stuff....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwFf991d-4


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RE: How do you live 24/7 Ds-relationship? - 2/9/2015 7:21:14 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline 		By applying some common down to earth sense in the way rules are implemented so it's still practical to go about daily lives necessary activities to stay mentally, emotionally and physically healthy and well.



< Message edited by Greta75 -- 2/9/2015 7:22:13 AM >

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RE: How do you live 24/7 Ds-relationship? - 2/9/2015 11:58:55 AM   
InHisHeart


Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
Status: offline 		First there needs to be a D and a s. After that, depends on the people involved. My 24/7 D/s relationship can be very different than someone else's 24/7 D/s relationship. I've had 2 long term D/s relationship, my former and my current, both very different from the other but both wonderful relationships.

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RE: How do you live 24/7 Ds-relationship? - 2/9/2015 1:57:52 PM   
DerangedUnit


Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline 		Yep it changes based on the person, I can say it is incredibly boring to stay in a 24/7 high protocol relationship, it's more something you do just to see if you can and once you do you move on to something that doesn't require sitting in the same position and reciting mantras. Most 24/7 that works for long periods isn't much different from other relationships. You look for the person you like and the rest should come naturally. If you were asking specifically how "you" live 24/7...mine has been fine tuned over time to balance predator/prey vibes and DD/lg. At home it means a lot of six and he likes to build machinery and contraptions to assist him in keeping me in one place and twitching. We don't have any protocol just our personal understandings, I know if if don't want to do something something I better be able to make it stop, he knows if he tries to make me do something I really don't want to he better be prepared for the countermove. In public everyone knows im his slave(my jewelry is permanant). Both of us have big obnoxious personalities so its included as the topic of a lot of jokes. I dont walk with my head down, or two steps behind him or any of that, im usually running in circles when i get to go for a walk and talk freely with his friends/coworkers/employees. At this point we have naturally established all our boundaries without having to talk about it and agree on almost everything except the idea of a goat milking machine being brought into it...

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RE: How do you live 24/7 Ds-relationship? - 2/9/2015 2:13:26 PM   
slvemike4u


Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
Status: offline 		Okay,it changes but it's still,like anything else,one day at a time right ?
I mean you don't try and get 48 hrs out of any one day,do you ?


I'm just sayin....I was right a few posts ago

_____________________________

If we want things to stay as they are,things will have to change...Tancredi from "the Leopard"

Forget Guns-----Ban the pools

Funny stuff....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwFf991d-4


(in reply to DerangedUnit)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How do you live 24/7 Ds-relationship? - 2/9/2015 2:13:44 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		He called up to me ten minutes ago "Hey, would you get me that drill in the dining room" and I dropped the laundry I was gathering to go get it.

We have over half a foot of snow and a quarter mile driveway that will not be plowed till it stops snowing. He decided he's suffering from being inside and we are going out. I was less than happy but got my boots and long underwear ready because I know we may get out (it's downhill out) but we aren't going to get home without walking up.

I lucked out. It took him over an hour to shovel the car and driveway sufficiently that he could turn it around. He decided that was enough out and we're staying in.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: How do you live 24/7 Ds-relationship? - 2/9/2015 4:22:33 PM   
DerangedUnit


Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline 		I used to live in Ohio... a half mile long drive way and being the "muscle" of the relationship shouldn't be fun....


I still liked it more than living in the desert.

The other day he came in around lunch time, opened the door to the blinding light outside and by the time my eyes adjusted I realized he was standing there with a huge grin and a bunch of support metal...these are the things you learn not to ask about


And yes Mike, that was clever, good job.


< Message edited by DerangedUnit -- 2/9/2015 4:51:55 PM >

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RE: How do you live 24/7 Ds-relationship? - 2/9/2015 5:07:40 PM   
slvemike4u


Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
Status: offline 		Thanks Deranged...without feedback you never know if your material works or not

< Message edited by slvemike4u -- 2/9/2015 5:11:21 PM >

_____________________________

If we want things to stay as they are,things will have to change...Tancredi from "the Leopard"

Forget Guns-----Ban the pools

Funny stuff....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwFf991d-4


(in reply to DerangedUnit)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How do you live 24/7 Ds-relationship? - 2/9/2015 8:49:44 PM   
DerangedUnit


Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline 		That's why I laugh at my own jokes

(in reply to slvemike4u)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How do you live 24/7 Ds-relationship? - 2/10/2015 12:03:39 PM   
slvemike4u


Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
Status: offline 		I'm guilty of that too....but in my case ,at least,it's justified.
I'm damm funny,certainly funnier than that Ron fellow who runs around here as if he is the second coming of george carlin.
The guys a second rate me for sure

_____________________________

If we want things to stay as they are,things will have to change...Tancredi from "the Leopard"

Forget Guns-----Ban the pools

Funny stuff....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwFf991d-4


(in reply to DerangedUnit)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How do you live 24/7 Ds-relationship? - 2/22/2015 10:27:11 PM   
FriendlyMuppet


Posts: 171
Joined: 11/16/2010
From: Corpus Christi, Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Simple. When a sub is at work, he or she abides by the rules set out by his or her Dom. When the sub is at home, the same. Or shopping, or at a baseball game.

24/7 means that the relationship is there 24/7. It does not mean that there is 24/7 kink, bondage, or nudity.


A lot of people never seem to understand that, and even after being told that, they still think it's somehow going to be 24/7 kink. I'll be honest, but the first D/s relationship I was in, a dominant had me move in with her, and I honestly thought it was going to be that. My education was in learning that service meant service, not 24/7 play. I'm glad I was owned by the woman who owned me at the time because anyone with less patience probably would have kicked me to the curb, and I would have gone through three or four women after her and gotten kicked to subsequent curbs as well until I started to figure it out. Having one basically teach me the first time out, and not let me just run out and try to find an imaginary play domme that didn't exist, was probably the best thing that ever happened to me.

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The Cell's Door: http://amzn.to/19I6VA1
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RE: How do you live 24/7 Ds-relationship? - 2/23/2015 2:46:51 AM   
NookieNotes


Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pahkasika

It's all in the heading...how?


Well, it is different for everyone. For me, it works like this:

1. Friendship.
2. Partnership.
3. Ownership.
4. Mastery.

Friendship must exist first with me. That is where I develop the baseline. I learn to understand the person, and who they are, naturally, without my intercession.

Partnership may sometimes go hand-in-hand with friendship, meaning concurrently. While I develop the friendship, a partnership of sorts is created for a romantic/sexual relationship. I am still "in charge," because that's my nature, but it is based entirely on a very casual dynamic. Barely even FLR. Just requests and suggestions, while we get to know each other and feel each other out.

Ownership. This is something I take incredibly seriously. I do not collar easily. The shortest time frame it has taken for me to collar anyone is 8 months. The longest was 9 years. LOL!

Mastery. I have never taken the full step to slave ownership. I am open to it, and I can see it happening in my future, but I have not gone there, yet. My current Pet has the markings for it. If we continue on, I'm guessing in 5-6 years, we would be there.

But for me, it has to flow naturally. It's not something I decree. Every single protocol we have is based on our experiences together, and things we have developed as a result of those. Never do I bring in a protocol from online or a previous relationship just because it sounds cool. It's about developing the unique flavor with each person.

But then, I know my way of doing things is NOT the norm.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko
Part of my Ownership style of Domination is to have my sub grow, as a sub, a person and a member of society. Some want their subs to grow towards being more bound within the union, from sub to slave. Some are content with where their subs are and want naught more than to share D/s moments. There are many various ways to own.

Precisely why it's My way or the HIGHWAY as far as Domination technique. You might find doors open that were never considered before or even acknowledged.


This. Exactly.

quote:

ETA, I think DS means rules the D might give while the sub is at work which would be "unknown" to those around him. Nookie and I discussed wearing things under clothes for example,It makes me feel like my influence is still there.


Oh yes. Or even a small mark (like a spade, a crown, a lock), made with a pen, in a different spot every day, or a phrase, such as "Property of my Queen,".

It's not just for me. It's for him. To feel the warm fuzzies everytime he sees that.


quote:

ORIGINAL: FriendlyMuppet


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Simple. When a sub is at work, he or she abides by the rules set out by his or her Dom. When the sub is at home, the same. Or shopping, or at a baseball game.

24/7 means that the relationship is there 24/7. It does not mean that there is 24/7 kink, bondage, or nudity.


A lot of people never seem to understand that, and even after being told that, they still think it's somehow going to be 24/7 kink. I'll be honest, but the first D/s relationship I was in, a dominant had me move in with her, and I honestly thought it was going to be that. My education was in learning that service meant service, not 24/7 play. I'm glad I was owned by the woman who owned me at the time because anyone with less patience probably would have kicked me to the curb, and I would have gone through three or four women after her and gotten kicked to subsequent curbs as well until I started to figure it out. Having one basically teach me the first time out, and not let me just run out and try to find an imaginary play domme that didn't exist, was probably the best thing that ever happened to me.


Meh. To me, if a primary relationship doesn't feel like sexy fun play and kink 24/7, it's not worth it.

Now, that's not to say I stroll around in latex/leather 24/7, or always have his face buried between my legs or my leash on his little man... it does mean that service (FOR ME) is about showing a desire for sex (from him), and rewards are sexy, and talking is laced with sex, and getting ready is laced with sex, and seeing a movie is laced with sex, and traveling...

My dynamic is D/s, and for me, D/s is all about the sexual tension.

I'm one of those shallow doms, who would not be in D/s if it were not for the sex.

Then again, sex is so much more than just kinky play and bumping bits, so, I'm probably confusing the issue. LOL!

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RE: How do you live 24/7 Ds-relationship? - 2/25/2015 12:33:25 PM   
AlabamaPrincess


Posts: 134
Joined: 2/4/2015
From: The Dragon's Keep
Status: offline 		I stay at home, and for me, a majority of the s part is making sure everything is done here before he gets home. He has nothing to worry about once he steps through that door. Up to and including his cocktail on the counter by the mail. It's like what's been said, it's a service. For me, being able to take care of him like this is one of the ways to show my love, and my subbiness (yes, I just made that up lol). I believe that if I'm going to stay home, then I have a job to do as well, it's not a free ride. We are partners in all of this, and the kink comes in many forms both in and out of the bedroom. But yes, I would say it's 24/7

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Profile   Post #: 18
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