RE: Seeing a pro domme before hitting the scene?

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RE: Seeing a pro domme before hitting the scene? - 2/19/2015 3:36:12 AM

NookieNotes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wannapleez

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

quote:

ORIGINAL: wannapleez
Every BDSM relationship of any real value that I've had started as one-on-one online. Not saying that's the way to go. Just noting that it's another way beyond the two that you cited.

Interesting. I've had ONE that was online for any period of time (beyond friendships). It worked well, but was far too much effort. I need in-person chemistry and interaction, or I lose interest these days.

I was talking about how the relationship started, not its entirety. I was just giving further illustration that munches are not the only way to meet non-pro's.

ETA: I can't see things working without in-person encounters, either. Online can be a nice supplement, esp if the relationship is LD -- it can even turn a LD relationship into a 24/7 thing. But every once in a while I need someone else to spank my ass. ;-)

Yes. I agree.

I mean I had one online relationship, ever. That became a live-in for 4 1/2 years.

The online part was SOOOOO much effort. LOL!

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RE: Seeing a pro domme before hitting the scene? - 2/19/2015 10:20:37 AM

wannapleez

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

quote:

ORIGINAL: wannapleez
I was talking about how the relationship started, not its entirety. I was just giving further illustration that munches are not the only way to meet non-pro's.

ETA: I can't see things working without in-person encounters, either. Online can be a nice supplement, esp if the relationship is LD -- it can even turn a LD relationship into a 24/7 thing. But every once in a while I need someone else to spank my ass. ;-)

Yes. I agree.

I mean I had one online relationship, ever. That became a live-in for 4 1/2 years.

The online part was SOOOOO much effort. LOL!

OH -- so you're saying that you only had one that had any time online. Gotcha.

The one in particular that I was thinking of when I talked about online as a "supplement" was an LD relationship. She lived 250 miles away. We met online (on another site) and would often have some naughty chat. A lot of what she said revolved around "if I had you here, I would ..." After a couple months of that, something snapped in me and I asked if this was all just harmless fantasy, or would she really do all that stuff if I was there; because if the latter, I was getting in my car. What followed was 24-48 hour sessions every few weeks that were little more than play, sleep, and eat. But things quickly escalated to where we were both craving 24/7. Beyond updates via phone and email, we also cam'd 3-4 times per week (though often, her cam faced the wall and I only got to hear her). She was very visually oriented, and so got a lot more out of this than many ladies do. Plus, many of the things that she was most into were things that could be "self-inflicted", so it all translated quite well.

And then there was that one time when she made me watch on cam as she made a flogger, knowing full well that it was bound for my ass a few days later. ;-)

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RE: Seeing a pro domme before hitting the scene? - 2/19/2015 10:46:42 AM

GoddessManko

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DandyBoy11

I am deeply appreciative of the responses I have received, from both subs and dom(me)s alike, speaking volumes to GoddessManko's point about "different individuals in different dynamics." Based on this thread, I am a lot more excited about getting involved in the social scene - you guys are terrific.

Also, thanks, Gauge for that resource list.

Really happy and excited for you! Good you got a difference of perspective. I'm one of those Dommes who really wants to see the F/m lifestyle dynamics thrive. I saw one young 24 year old Domme in Australia with such an enviable dynamic. 7 years in and I could tell she was thoroughly sadistic and he loved every second.
To Nookie, to be honest, I think the munch vs online thing is extrovert/ introvert. And it could also depend on constitution. Submissive men are very flexible in this regard and any bit of advice can move them in any given direction. I think the best advice is granted from someone he feels a connection with vs a random group of strangers, not to knock the munch.
To be honest, I think my sub would disagree with many views here, but that doesn't make any given position "correct".
I have been doing the online "meet and greet" thing for a while and it works for me but it takes effort and being proactive to turn it into a real world full time experience.
I really work well with focusing all my energy into learning someone without my attention being scattered. My brain would be going in far too many directions for me to make an accurate analysis of that person. When I feel a sub does not reciprocate in this regard, I dissociate.
I feel like he should be learning me just the same and not be "scattered". That aspect of me is selfish. I am very territorial and possessive so a collared sub would be my quintessential.

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RE: Seeing a pro domme before hitting the scene? - 2/19/2015 12:54:46 PM

NookieNotes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

To Nookie, to be honest, I think the munch vs online thing is extrovert/ introvert. And it could also depend on constitution. Submissive men are very flexible in this regard and any bit of advice can move them in any given direction. I think the best advice is granted from someone he feels a connection with vs a random group of strangers, not to knock the munch.

I agree.

I wasn't thinking advice. I was thinking being able to observe relationship dynamics in the lifestyle in real life. Good and bad relationships.

Not about modelling behavior in any way.

Just be around people. See people doing this thing in real life. See the variations and interactions.

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RE: Seeing a pro domme before hitting the scene? - 2/19/2015 1:59:58 PM

RockaRolla

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wannapleez

quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla
There's no "you must be this experienced to ride" requirement at munches, and I doubt you'd be the only newbie there. You'll be welcomed at any level, provided you aren't a dick to others.

This may represent your experience, but (as I said) this is far from universal, as admitted by even the staunchest munch advocates.

Probably. I've never seen someone considered as "less than" due to a lack of experience. If anything, there were plenty who took greater interest to the "fresh meat." I have, however, experienced plenty of newbies looked down upon for a combination of inexperience and ego - which even then was more for the ego than the inexperience itself.

I'll admit YMMV, but I still say the OP should check this out for himself rather than seek out a pro-Domme for the wrong reasons.

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RE: Seeing a pro domme before hitting the scene? - 2/19/2015 2:13:30 PM

Bhruic

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I agree that a munch would be a better introduction than a Pro Domme... but I also agree that you should take what you learn from a munch with a grain of salt. Some groups can be wonderfully open and objective, others can be quite cliqueish, and polluted by their own preconceived notions of right and wrong.

Of course... there are usually some good people in any group. I would try a munch (or a few) and don't take as gospel any advice about the "right" or "wrong" way to do things.

And remember that on the topic of what you like and how you like it, there are no experts but you.

< Message edited by Bhruic -- 2/19/2015 2:15:11 PM >

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