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Masochistic Submissive - 11/26/2004 4:31:04 PM   
willing2serve


Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline 		Can a masochistic submissive find a fulfilling relationship with a Dominant that is not sadistic and does not have the mentality of a sadist? Vice versa, can a Sadistic Dominant be fulfilled by a submissive without masochistic tendencies? Would these scenarios lead to higher frustration in a D/s relationship? If so, what are some ways that frustration can be lessened, given the fact that all other parts of the relationship are in sync?

Please share your wisdom, opinions and experiences.

Respectfully,
Willing2serve
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RE: Masochistic Submissive - 11/26/2004 7:05:26 PM   
cynnacent1


Posts: 340
Joined: 6/25/2004
From: Massachusetts
Status: offline
quote:

Can a masochistic submissive find a fulfilling relationship with a Dominant that is not sadistic and does not have the mentality of a sadist?

Not i, nope.
quote:

Vice versa, can a Sadistic Dominant be fulfilled by a submissive without masochistic tendencies?

The question is not applicable, i can only answer for myself.
quote:

Would these scenarios lead to higher frustration in a D/s relationship?

In ours, it would. In fact, the relationship would cease to exist. Upon first meeting Master had expressed a need to express His sadistic side as well as enjoy my masochistic side. i expressed a need to express my masochistic side as well as enjoy His sadistic side. We each agreed to provide for the other's needs, and trust that our own would be provided for.
quote:

If so, what are some ways that frustration can be lessened, given the fact that all other parts of the relationship are in sync?

For us there is no way. S/m is a basic yet important part of our D/s relationship. Just as if any of the other parts of the relationship were NOT kept in 'sync', a sudden cease of the S/m portion would be a serious matter to either of us.

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(in reply to willing2serve)
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RE: Masochistic Submissive - 11/26/2004 7:08:42 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
I am considered a sadistic Domme. While I defiantly have a touch of sadism, I do not have to indulge it every time I play. I've recently started dabbling with a sensual/mental style and seeing how it works. I enjoy it. I had the best session I've ever had using the new style last weekend, and I didn't make him scream even once! I also still enjoy occasionally bringing a man to a bundle of whimpers. My main kick, however, is to be the one in CONTROL.. the one saying what, when, how and why. I can get to that end via many routes. I was happy enough with last weekend's session that I am seeing that sub again tomorrow. I hope to see him many times in the future. So yes, a Domme with a sadistic bent to her can be happy with a non masochist sub.

The same might not be totally true of a masochistic sub. He has a need for pain to give him the endorphin rush. Since we are talking masochistic sub instead of masochist, there may be more to what he wants that just pain. It would depend upon the needs of the person in question.

Now, if you are talking about a Sadist and a Masochist rather than a Domme and a maso sub, I don't think the relationship would work well. Sadist and Masochist in the pure form don't really have much to do with dominance. The Top gives pain, the bottom gets the pain. After the pain and aftercare, everyone is normal to each other. There isn't so much of a power dynamic involved.

< Message edited by BeachMystress -- 11/26/2004 7:10:12 PM >

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to willing2serve)
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RE: Masochistic Submissive - 11/26/2004 7:52:15 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		Access Denied

< Message edited by RiotGirl -- 3/15/2005 11:34:44 PM >

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RE: Masochistic Submissive - 11/26/2004 7:56:28 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: willing2serve
Can a masochistic submissive find a fulfilling relationship with a Dominant that is not sadistic and does not have the mentality of a sadist?


Yes, in my experience. It helps if the person is willing to inflict pain occationally. My partner is -not- a sadist, however he knows it give me great pleasure to be hurt sometimes, so he does it occcationally.


quote:

Would these scenarios lead to higher frustration in a D/s relationship? If so, what are some ways that frustration can be lessened, given the fact that all other parts of the relationship are in sync?


A little, I think. I don't get pain as often as I'd like it. However, I find it a wonderful excercise in self-control. :)

I fell in love with him. He doesn't have everytyhing my -ideal- partner would have, but I don't need the ideal. I need him. We make it work.

It takes -good- communication, though. We have to talk to each other, and let each other know what's going on?

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to willing2serve)
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RE: Masochistic Submissive - 11/27/2004 12:45:41 AM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic
He doesn't have everytyhing my -ideal- partner would have, but I don't need the ideal. I need him. We make it work.

What a beautiful sentiment. :-)

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Masochistic Submissive - 11/27/2004 5:42:32 AM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
I would not in good mind,
faith,or fair game ever ever
start any relationship that
dident have a masocist at
the other end being a Sadist.
I dont care if they were slave
or Master, They would have to
either be masocist or Sadist for
there to be any kind of relationship
with the likes of Me.

I do not gain any satisfactions
that are not in sum way Sadistic
and if that slave/Master dident have any
desires for pain, or give such would not suit
My needs to give such in any way in return,
be it physical, mental, emotional, or
soulful.

Of course this is in referance to My
own Self being served by My Own
posessions or in a relationship with
a Sado/Masocist Master. I have trained
and have had slaves whom dident wear My
colar nor were maso/sadistic in any way
come to Me for training in concensual
slavery and learned such with out
serving Me or My Personal Sadistic needs.

This goes for Dominants whom desired
tutoring as well and They dident sprout
from the S/M side of BDSM. But for any
Personal relationship there is no way I
would inflict My self on anyone not of a
S/M persuasion period. It would be seen
as abuse in My opinion in real life and thats
not what I am about, being a Sadist in control
at all times of My urges. Its OK to be a
bit humiliating here and cause havoc in
My Sadistic good fun HOWEVER real life
it another whole ball game and many just
watching My ways and attitudes here online
know that I am NOT the kind of Dominant
that most could or would be able to handle
being around with My natural tendancies.
I am a true Alpha Dominant Sadist of over
40 years of experiance with a true Sadistic
nature that Im quite sure even here online
can be plainly seen. JMO

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Masochistic Submissive - 11/27/2004 6:12:37 AM   
topcat


Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline
quote:

Can a masochistic submissive find a fulfilling relationship with a Dominant that is not sadistic and does not have the mentality of a sadist?


Midear Willing-

In my case, it took years to discover, come to grips with, and embrace my sadism (It's amazing how many years I dithered about saying 'I enjoy giving intense sensations to my partner..." before leaning to say "hurtin' gurls makes me hard!"<g>). The biggest factors in my evolution were those wonderful ladies who showed me /told me that they liked to be hurt, and that I could do so and it would be OK...

I think sadists may be born, but they do take a lot of nutureing to bloom.


quote:

Vice versa, can a Sadistic Dominant be fulfilled by a submissive without masochistic tendencies?


I can- for me, it is not about what I have to do to hurt her- it's about how much something hurts her, and riding that razors edge between not enough and too much.
(am I making sense?)

An Example: A girl I know has nipples that are so durable that I am worring about biting them off before she goes from 'oooh' to 'ouch' -an ex of mine had soft pink tiny sensitive nipples were 'over stimulated' easily- a little sharp suck- really a hard kiss- was all it took to get her to 'ouch'. Bith were as satisfying to me, trying to find and ride that line.

In relationships with 'non masochists', I do get the occasional urge to just hang someone to the wall and brutalize them, but I know enough casual masochists to get that fix if I need it, and it is infrequent that it arises.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to willing2serve)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Masochistic Submissive - 11/27/2004 9:05:50 AM   
Nvernilla


Posts: 303
Joined: 10/1/2004
Status: offline 		I'd have to say yes on this one, a large part of what makes it work or not is acceptance of differences between you, on the other hand if a thing is a need but is not expressed it may be hard to even know its there... have you talked of this between the two of you?...good luck!...Mike

(in reply to willing2serve)
Profile   Post #: 9
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