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DaddySatyr -> RE: free range kids vs helicopter parents (2/20/2015 7:55:06 PM)
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I wasn't going to break this one up because it's a good one, but to really coalesce my thoughts, I fear I must.
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ORIGINAL: bounty44
I contribute to the arbor day foundation and I just received a form letter from them saying “many of us who are tree planters today spent hours and hours outdoors as children, exploring nature. We experienced “free-range” childhoods, often out of sight of adults, making nature our friend. We collected acorns and pine cones, jumped in piles of leaves, investigated nearby wooded streams, and climbed backyard trees. As a result, today we have a love of trees in our hearts.
I was very lucky, indeed, in that I grew up in a big city until I hit my truly formative years (14-15). Oh, we didn't run and play in nature. We "ran the streets". Have you ever read "A Tree Grows In Brooklyn"? All of the city schools took turns, taking a field trip to it, every year. [:D]
When we moved to New Jersey, I did get a chance to start exploring nature, but it was a slow go. I can't relate to the love of trees, specifically but, I learned to love skinks, fishing, raccoons, even bears. I love animals and the outdoors. The move to New Jersey advanced our exploratory skills. The public transportation system sucked but it was there that we found out what our bikes were really for.
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ORIGINAL: bounty44
“However, free-range childhoods are a thing of the past. Children’s lives are now mostly spent indoors…”
I recently read online about a couple of parents coming under local authority scrutiny because someone called to complain about or question their parenting skills for letting their children walk unsupervised. Their answer to the inquiring police was, “our kids are free-range kids.” There are other numerous accounts of parents whose competence as a parent is being questioned because they let their kids be in the park without supervision. The very fact that there’s a name for it now---“free range”--- implies the name had to be created to contrast it with some other competing paradigm.
A lot of things that used to be considered normal are a thing of the past and I miss a great many of them. I don't mean "things", per se, I mean ideas and ideals.
We had this inherent sense of right and wrong and the freedom that "Free Range" seems to engender. We didn't sass adults. We might have gotten into some mischief, but at the end of the day, no one got truly hurt. We, generally, had a kind word for just about everyone and we displayed the manners that our parents or guardians taught us out of a sense of loyalty to the codes that our families taught us.
Specifically (not to go too far a field from the topic), we played ball, threw Frisbees©, played "cowboys and injuns" or "cops and robbers". We rode our bikes. We went to the local fishing hole and, as long as we were home when we said we'd be (-ish), all was well with the world and maybe our parents were happy to be rid of us, for a little while.
But (there's always a "but") I am going to go back a bit further than "Free Range". I think it started with the term: "Latch-key Children". Does anyone remember that one?. When my eldest was just a boy (seven or eight or so) was when the "child care center" craze was starting to boom and that's when I heard that term. It was as if there was something wrong with parents that didn't stay home with their kids. Of course, no one bothered to mention that in order to provide a decent up-bringing, there needed to be three paychecks coming into the house. Sorry, mom.
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ORIGINAL: bounty44
By contrast, the concept of helicopter parents is relatively new---those parents who not only make sure their kids are engaged in a number of formal activities, but who drive them there, stay during, and drive them home afterwards. And if the kids fall down and get a boo-boo, they are right there watching over them in order to pick them up and fret over them.
Kids take the bus to school instead of walk, or their parents drive them and pick them up, or meet them at school and walk them home even. And then there are the horror stories of parents who live so vicariously through their children that they fight with other parents, with coaches and on occasion, the other children.
A lot of this is a real problem. I coached my children in Baseball and Football and the absolute abuse by some of the parents was just too much. When mine were growing up, we lived in some very rural areas and it wasn't always feasible to put them on their bikes and send them off. I did it, as much as possible and when video games started becoming popular, I put a moratorium on the amount of time that could be spent, playing them.
I think they're one of the biggest issues. Those damned video games. Oh, I've played my share, to be sure, but at fifty years old, I still make time to hike the mountains; weather permitting. I did the same with my children, as they were growing up. I taught them to swim and drove them to the pool (it was very far away and through dangerous traffic-gnarled streets). I coached them so that they would get some outdoor time and, to their credit, I am sure part of their desire was so they could spend time with the old man.
I guess I would be the in-between in this.
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ORIGINAL: bounty44
I hope this doesn’t sound like a “when I was a kid we walked to school five miles uphill both ways through 2ft of snow” deal
It does, but I'm right there with you! [:D]
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ORIGINAL: bounty44
but I believe most of the childhood of today would be unrecognizable to the children of 40-50 yrs ago. The great irony is---it’s possible (probable) that today’s helicopter parents were yesterday’s free range kids.
Anyway---I wonder how/why it all occurred…and thought it might make an interesting discussion.
It does, indeed, make an interesting discussion and I wonder if we will ever make the adjustments that (I believe) we need to make in order to return a balance to our children.
Greater minds than mine (I'm sure) have agreed that of all philosophies, of all deeply-held beliefs, balance was the one that was most important to a happy existence. We've all become so polarized and tunnel-visioned. It's a damned shame.
Michael
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