When Do You Lose Street Cred in D/s (Full Version)

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sexyred1 -> When Do You Lose Street Cred in D/s (2/21/2015 6:08:48 AM)

I rarely start threads, but have a question.

Obviously I am into BDSM, have been since always and most people on the boards know I was in a very intense but toxic relationship for many years that ended physically, two years ago, emotionally, maybe never.

Anyway, I have not been socializing very much and pretty much gave up on finding someone. My age, availability of good guys and health issues preclude that.

However, once you are into this, you cannot not be into it, thus I still like to come here and to FL to get something of a fix.

My question is, how long do you have to keep your credibility when replying to threads when you are clearly not involved in your own D/s life?

I have been feeling lately like the older aunt giving advice from years past or just observing other people writing about their love lives and escapades.

Oy, if you all knew how much experience and fun I used to have, no one would question this.

But just curious about the street cred thing.



SinFix -> RE: When Do You Lose Street Cred in D/s (2/21/2015 6:19:57 AM)

I think experience supercedes in the moment dynamics. In other words, why would I not listen to someone who has a ton of experience, but isn't actually in a relationship at the moment?

Most people here pull not just from real time experiences but mostly from past ones as well...

So, red, I know that while you may not be in a relationship at this time, I appreciate the experience that you do share on these boards..



JstAnotherSub -> RE: When Do You Lose Street Cred in D/s (2/21/2015 6:20:40 AM)

I think your posting history would show your credibility, for anyone who felt it was needed.

Hell. it has been years since my one and only D/s relationship, but like you said, once there, for most of us there is no turning back. Just because it has been a while doesn't mean any of us have less valuable advice to give or opinions to offer. I am sure that some who live it daily can give shitty advice.




sexyred1 -> RE: When Do You Lose Street Cred in D/s (2/21/2015 6:25:06 AM)

I appreciate both SinFix and JstAnother Sub's posts.




caitley -> RE: When Do You Lose Street Cred in D/s (2/21/2015 6:37:05 AM)

I never go looking for a poster's past history or their current relationship situation. I read what they said and decide for myself whether I agree or not.



ExiledTyrant -> RE: When Do You Lose Street Cred in D/s (2/21/2015 6:42:30 AM)

SexyRedUberHotYumDoll,

I've often felt like a I lacked credibility because I spent soooo many years alone, but when that would well up in me I had to acknowledge that My standards (the reason I was alone) did not diminish my credibility. I can offer advice from my perspective only and sometimes it's spot on, sometimes it's very far off the mark. Just like the "punishment" thread was difficult for me to contribute much of anything because punishment isn't a part of my dynamic. The very nature of my standards precludes any form of power-struggle... as much as I love my girl, I love me more and will not consign myself to wholesale misery, so she knows that my love/dynamic is conditional and she operates within those conditions, just as I operate within her conditions.

What makes it easier is the level of compatibility we have, the "conditions" really aren't conditions, it is our natural flow.

You're very experienced, you've had very very bad, and you've had very good, and your BS detector is fine tuned. You're life experience makes you an oracle of D/s dynamics, whether you're headed or not, and you're quite brilliant and perceptive, often "seeing" the unspoken for what it is.

Jus sayin



needlesandpins -> RE: When Do You Lose Street Cred in D/s (2/21/2015 6:42:35 AM)

Your cred isn't going anywhere, Redilicious, just because you're not in a relationship right now. the quality of experience gained is what it is. Yours is still going to be of far more value compared to others because it's sound.

needles



MariaB -> RE: When Do You Lose Street Cred in D/s (2/21/2015 6:48:42 AM)

It doesn't matter if you have travelled the journey or are yet to travel it. Experience is always an advantage on boards like this and that's why so many people who have yet to gain that experience come here and ask questions. People like yourself are very much the foundations of this site.



satanscharmer -> RE: When Do You Lose Street Cred in D/s (2/21/2015 7:05:23 AM)

Street cred with whom? You give very sound advice here. Just look at your past posts and how many people often agree with your advice given.
You don't need to be in a current relationship to have experience or ideas, and one in a current relationship may not even have the experience or your experience and point of view.



sexyred1 -> RE: When Do You Lose Street Cred in D/s (2/21/2015 7:45:40 AM)

Thanks for the positive replies everyone.

I guess I was just feeling blah lately!



DaddySatyr -> RE: When Do You Lose Street Cred in D/s (2/21/2015 7:51:34 AM)


I would guess that it largely depends upon who is handing out the "street cred".

Someone who has all the experience in the world could lose it with me if they're dishonest with me. Some have a way of sharing information that just doesn't resonate with me.

I think it's a very individual thing and it is based upon the things that your audience is looking for.



Michael



shiftyw -> RE: When Do You Lose Street Cred in D/s (2/21/2015 9:19:15 AM)

Red, I often feel a bit out of place. I'm not all that submissive in real life. In fact I lnow I would drive a lot of guys on this board insane. I'm bedroom only and on this board, that is few and far between. Plus I still have a great deal of vanilla sex with him, it depends how the mood strikes him. I've had more D/s relationships in the past, but I chose to leave that and don't really plan on returning. I went to a couple munches in NJ and couldn't find a place for myself. And one drove me out for not "being real".

I've fallen in and out of this "lifestyle" (a word that I hate using to describe wiiwd, because I'm not living it that way). I'm a feminist, whose ideals don't line up with a lot of folks. I often feel I'm into this because of the wrong thins because of what has happened to me.

I guess my point is, I constantly question my presence here and sometimes leave because I don't feel I have any contributions.
But eventually I always come back because I do have kinky sex, and at least I can have some valuable input there.

If I have value here, YOU have value here. I've learned a lot from you, even if at times we have had different views on something, you present it in a way that is easy to understand and relate to. You define who you are, not your relationship status. If someone retires from dancing, do they no longer have wisdom to give? Your experiences are valuable, you have a sound posting history, a level head, and that is all valuable.

Your street cred is well intact. And you're gorgeous! You got it all happening!




ExiledTyrant -> RE: When Do You Lose Street Cred in D/s (2/21/2015 9:43:27 AM)

Shifty, the fact that you are bedroom only, as silly as this sounds, gives permission for others to be bedroom only. The experiences and advice you impart on the boards is extremely valid.

I am not a Top and I can only relate to certain topics from how that topic plays out in my intimate relationship or relates to me directly, because so much of WIITID is intimate only, but that doesn't invalidate my input. We have some pretty amazing Tops and bottoms on this site and I happily violate the TOS and name them on a thread for bread crumbs or "this is who you need to talk to" purposes.



Gauge -> RE: When Do You Lose Street Cred in D/s (2/21/2015 9:49:25 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I rarely start threads, but have a question.

Obviously I am into BDSM, have been since always and most people on the boards know I was in a very intense but toxic relationship for many years that ended physically, two years ago, emotionally, maybe never.

Anyway, I have not been socializing very much and pretty much gave up on finding someone. My age, availability of good guys and health issues preclude that.

However, once you are into this, you cannot not be into it, thus I still like to come here and to FL to get something of a fix.

My question is, how long do you have to keep your credibility when replying to threads when you are clearly not involved in your own D/s life?

I have been feeling lately like the older aunt giving advice from years past or just observing other people writing about their love lives and escapades.

Oy, if you all knew how much experience and fun I used to have, no one would question this.

But just curious about the street cred thing.



I have not been in the HVAC trade in 15 years. I still offer my advice and experiences from it to people. While my knowledge of the advances in a good deal of the electronics has wavered, the fundamentals are as sound as they will ever be.

Relax. [:)]



ExiledTyrant -> RE: When Do You Lose Street Cred in D/s (2/21/2015 9:52:06 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge


I have not been in the HVAC trade in 15 years. I still offer my advice and experiences from it to people. While my knowledge of the advances in a good deal of the electronics has wavered, the fundamentals are as sound as they will ever be.

Relax. [:)]


Fixed my problem and didn't even ask for a cupcake ;)



kallisto -> RE: When Do You Lose Street Cred in D/s (2/21/2015 10:18:22 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I rarely start threads, but have a question.

Obviously I am into BDSM, have been since always and most people on the boards know I was in a very intense but toxic relationship for many years that ended physically, two years ago, emotionally, maybe never.

Anyway, I have not been socializing very much and pretty much gave up on finding someone. My age, availability of good guys and health issues preclude that.

However, once you are into this, you cannot not be into it, thus I still like to come here and to FL to get something of a fix.

My question is, how long do you have to keep your credibility when replying to threads when you are clearly not involved in your own D/s life?

I have been feeling lately like the older aunt giving advice from years past or just observing other people writing about their love lives and escapades.

Oy, if you all knew how much experience and fun I used to have, no one would question this.

But just curious about the street cred thing.



OMG Red .... you are one of the ones that I've always listened to since I got here (a while ago). :-) Your experience, fun, life lessons, and just living life give you more credibility than lots of people I know.

You are one of a kind as far as I'm concerned ... and whether you are in a relationship at the moment or not, doesn't take away all that you have experienced and learned and lived ... and are willing to share with the rest of us.




SeekingTrinity -> RE: When Do You Lose Street Cred in D/s (2/21/2015 11:48:25 AM)

~FRing it~

Whether currently in a relationship or out of one for quite awhile. Whatever you choose to identify as and wherever the hell you practice your craft. I personally think EVERYONE has a voice and something good to contribute. And I don't think street cred is something anyone can take away from you.




DarkSteven -> RE: When Do You Lose Street Cred in D/s (2/21/2015 12:26:46 PM)

Boy, that's a tough one. What exactly makes up credibility?

There's a guy who posts in the Gorean forums who's been in the LS probably fifteen years and has no cred whatsoever. I was granted cred almost right away when I started posting. And CS cred is largely based upon how thoughtful posts are and (I hate to admit this) how good the grammar and spelling are presentation/organization of a post is.




petitespot -> RE: When Do You Lose Street Cred in D/s (2/21/2015 1:35:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I rarely start threads, but have a question.

Obviously I am into BDSM, have been since always and most people on the boards know I was in a very intense but toxic relationship for many years that ended physically, two years ago, emotionally, maybe never.

Anyway, I have not been socializing very much and pretty much gave up on finding someone. My age, availability of good guys and health issues preclude that.

However, once you are into this, you cannot not be into it, thus I still like to come here and to FL to get something of a fix.

My question is, how long do you have to keep your credibility when replying to threads when you are clearly not involved in your own D/s life?

I have been feeling lately like the older aunt giving advice from years past or just observing other people writing about their love lives and escapades.

Oy, if you all knew how much experience and fun I used to have, no one would question this.

But just curious about the street cred thing.


This is probably why I don't post much anymore.
Plus I have to be in the right mood to have to deal with pulling up memories, which luckily for me, are all pretty good and hot.
When I think about it, I miss it.



sexyred1 -> RE: When Do You Lose Street Cred in D/s (2/21/2015 1:45:07 PM)

Street Cred was just a metaphor for how I am feeling.I don't want to "retire" (thanks shiftyw, lol)

I do speak up when I feel that my opinion might add to the discussion.

As petitespot said, when you give advice on relationships, it brings up memories and you just miss it more.

Good and bad memories, to me, are equally hard to deal with.



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