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ORIGINAL: InHisHeart

My masturbation fantasies from a young age, pre-teen/early teen were of a submissive and masochistic nature. At that age and throughout my teen years and until I met my former Dom/husband in my 20s, I thought there was something wrong with me and thought I was the only one with these fantasies and desires. I'm talking over 40 years ago when I knew what I wanted/needed along with being confused and there was no internet to do research so I didn't know there was actually a name for it or that I wasn't the only freak in the world. :)

A few short term relationships I was in and one relationship that lasted 2 years, I didn't feel content in, I felt there was so much missing from the relationship but I didn't feel comfortable enough to tell these guys of my dark desires, that level of trust that I could tell him anything without fear of being put down and thought of as crazy wasn't there.

When I met my former husband, the comfort level was there from the get-go, he was a natural Dom and we just meshed together very naturally. I had no fear of him belittling me or thinking I was crazy letting him know of my kink fantasies, my masochistic desires, my submissive desires and what my needs were. We started out bedroom only D/s but not long afterwards we knew it was much more than just bedroom D/s and kinks and moved our relationship into a 24/7 D/s relationship.

As for BDSM play, we both learned our likes, dislikes, hard limits, soft limits, tolerances as we explored. When we were both comfortable with a few things we would move forward and try something different that either him or I fantasized about or just thought about and wanted to try.

How I found out there was a whole lifestyle was by finding the right partner and living it. I was no longer concerned about thinking there was something wrong with me because being with the right person made it all very natural to me and through talking with close friends, we found a few others in our circle of friends that were into it too. How I actually learned the terms, some through books and then when access to the internet became available.

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ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel

I have always had fantasies about owning a woman. Actually, they were always about owning two women. I always felt they were off. When I was about 25 I discovered that there is a world where some women might actually like that kind of thing. It made my world take a turn for the better but I didn't really have a way to meet someone in this world.

Then this little thing called the internet came along* and Bob's yer uncle I got to meet pretty girls who wanted to kneel at my feet.

*Yeah, I know the internet was around for a long time before that. It didn't become popular until then.

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ORIGINAL: AlabamaPrincess

I guess I should answer my own question...I'd always liked a dominant man, simply to be able to handle me and my "ways". I've had fantasies of dominating a woman, so that comes in as well. Didn't know that any of it was "normal" until I'd seen a little bit about it in the porn world, and even then thought it was just for TV. It wasn't until I got with my husband and he started me on this path that I realized I'm just as normal as the next person, and He likes the same things I do....YAY!!

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ORIGINAL: oldspankster

Alabama Princess - Your original question can be taken different ways by different people.

A D/s relationship can be from mild to wild, as can any other relationship.

The working dynamic agreed to by two different individuals has endless possibilities, whether kink or vanilla.

Most people find things they do or try interesting in one form or another. Be it BDSM or playing cards. Something has drawn their interest to whatever it is they would like to know more about.

An inquisitive question, to be sure. Easily answered, no. Too many variables involved for a one size fits all response, IMO.