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Domme vs Dom - 11/26/2004 6:43:20 PM   
suzeeQ


Posts: 20
Joined: 11/24/2004
Status: offline 		...or Mistress vs Master. I belong to my Mistress for 3 yrs and I would do anything and all for her, to please her. Soon she will be leaving, and leaving me as well and I find that in my heart i could never love another Domme/Mistress and serve them with as much desire as i have for her.

Here is the question that I have. I may be confused or a bad person but, is it wrong to want a Master or Dom instead? I just feel that I would think too much of my Lady, if I went searching for a Mistress/Domme. I don't know its all very confusing to me and wondered if anyone understands what I am trying to ask and can give me some insight.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Domme vs Dom - 11/26/2004 6:53:53 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
Perhaps you need to take a bit of a break before jumping into another relationship. You sound like the end of this relationship is going to be hard on you. Let yourself heal from it then make up your mind.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to suzeeQ)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Domme vs Dom - 11/26/2004 6:57:53 PM   
suzeeQ


Posts: 20
Joined: 11/24/2004
Status: offline 		Thank you for your response. It is probably best that i do wait a while before jumping into another relationship of any kind. Just don't know what i'll do with myself without her, yeah I know just have to move on, just going to be hard. Thank you again!

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Domme vs Dom - 11/26/2004 7:24:23 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
It is really hard. I broke up with someone I cared deeply about at the beginning of the year. I ruined the next several relationships I tried after that due to not giving myself the time to heal that I needed. I finally said NO MORE. I gave myself time to grieve for the lost relationship and took some time concentrating on myself instead. I feel much better for having done that. I'm dealing with people on a healthy level again. It is going to hurt. You're going to miss her. Find a new hobby or take up a class... or join a book group. It will give you something to occupy your spare time so you don't constantly think about what you've lost. Make your life interesting for yourself. I hope you heal soon, but if it takes a while, be patient with yourself. Treat yourself like you'd treat your best friend. You'd pamper her thru such a time. Do the same for yourself.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to suzeeQ)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Domme vs Dom - 11/26/2004 7:38:07 PM   
LadyShoshin


Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: suzeeQ

...or Mistress vs Master. I belong to my Mistress for 3 yrs and I would do anything and all for her, to please her. Soon she will be leaving, and leaving me as well and I find that in my heart i could never love another Domme/Mistress and serve them with as much desire as i have for her.

Here is the question that I have. I may be confused or a bad person but, is it wrong to want a Master or Dom instead? I just feel that I would think too much of my Lady, if I went searching for a Mistress/Domme. I don't know its all very confusing to me and wondered if anyone understands what I am trying to ask and can give me some insight.


You may be confused, but you definately aren't bad. I agree with those who suggest taking some time to heal from the last relationship before jumping into anything else. Choose based on the commonalities and whether you have feelings for and have learned to trust the person whether they be male or female isn't as important as the friendship factor, are they someone you can be friends with.



_____________________________

PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

(in reply to suzeeQ)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Domme vs Dom - 11/26/2004 8:03:35 PM   
Kinkypupper


Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline 		Why should that be wrong.. As long as the person YOU seek and find is a good "fit" then go for it.
We all have different relations with different people threw our lifes. Each one changes and enriches us as we travel this path

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to suzeeQ)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Domme vs Dom - 11/26/2004 8:13:11 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		Access Denied

< Message edited by RiotGirl -- 3/15/2005 11:35:27 PM >

(in reply to suzeeQ)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Domme vs Dom - 11/27/2004 12:38:35 AM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		looking at your age sub
Id say this was your first
Ownership and as such
it is always the hardest
one to tear Our selfs
away from when it ends.
However do not base
what the future holds
for you off of the past
of others. you might
just miss the love of
your life if you do. And
in your next relationship
you have to as a sub
determine what it is that
you will accept in your
next Dominant and what
you will NOT accept and
by all means have and
keep a contract because
this will help in that time
of closure knowing that
there is a set time for
either things to end or
to continue with sumthing
more. I do not agree with
most here in that you need
time alone. Sum are not
structured for loneliness
and your personality speaks
to Me of such and I feel it
would be better for you to
start your search for that
sumone else to submit to be
it Male or Female it doesent
matter. Good luck and know
We are here to assist you in
anything you feel uneasy about
and feel a need to ask for any
thing be it a question or need
of a back up call for a meet.
It truly is better to have loved
and lost then to have not loved
at all.JMO

(in reply to suzeeQ)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Domme vs Dom - 11/27/2004 6:04:31 AM   
suzeeQ


Posts: 20
Joined: 11/24/2004
Status: offline 		Thank you All for you kind responses and support.

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Domme vs Dom - 11/27/2004 9:15:21 AM   
Nvernilla


Posts: 303
Joined: 10/1/2004
Status: offline 		Well I think it sounds pretty dependant on your part, not that this is wrong, just that if you let yourself be too hurt by one relationship you will transfer that to other people in your future timeline. These people in most cases don't deserve to have to deal with that regardless of whether they are Dom/Domme. I wish you luck in learning to check your baggage at the door and am sorry for you if you let yourself be too hurt by this...Mike

(in reply to suzeeQ)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Domme vs Dom - 11/27/2004 10:13:36 AM   
jillwfsub4blkdom


Posts: 375
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline 		i don't think you are wrong or bad. i think the wanting someone of a different gender is that you may find it too painful to start anew with someone of the same gender. The pain and hurt will heal but it will take time. i wouldn't necessarily seek something right away. You might change your feelings on seeking another Domme instead.

i wish you the best,
jill

_____________________________


"It's the moment that transcends
Our physical into a more spiritual level of understanding" - Musiq

(in reply to suzeeQ)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Domme vs Dom - 11/27/2004 11:14:56 AM   
Laura


Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		Goo luck. I think you're only cheating yourself if you close your mind/ options about another Domme. Look at people individually. No one person is the same as another, gender is only a part of the whole person.

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to jillwfsub4blkdom)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Domme vs Dom - 11/27/2004 1:50:24 PM   
ProScatman


Posts: 167
Joined: 5/28/2004
From: Ohio
Status: offline 		I know somewhat how you feel; as I have been through a similar ordeal. Of coarse you hurt, your confused, and you are defenately NOT a bad person. I would suggest you continue as best you can. There are a lot of good, careing people here who would think enough of you to help you through this crisis if you'll allow them. Be upfront about your concerns with those who show a genuine interest in you. You just might meet that right person; even if it takes a while it will be worth it in the long run.

_____________________________

The objection to Puritans is not that they try to make us think as they do, but that they try to make us do as they think.

Have a good day, Mike

(in reply to suzeeQ)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Domme vs Dom - 11/29/2004 1:08:25 PM   
AlphaGeek


Posts: 86
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: Charlottesville, VA, but in Orlando for a temp job
Status: offline 		Nope, doing what your heart feels is right does not make you a bad person.

Take your time, and find the person that will make your heart sing again. The new relationship will take nothing from the old, they are both unique unto themselves. :)

A_G


(in reply to suzeeQ)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Domme vs Dom - 11/30/2004 2:36:23 AM   
lovingmaster45


Posts: 261
Joined: 9/16/2004
Status: offline 		Why not use this as a good chance to play without the burden of a serious relationship? I know it sounds shallow; but as long as you let potential play partners know that that is what they are, I see no harm or foul. When I lost my sub I went to every play party I could find and had a blast. I played with single subs; collared subs with their owners permission and vanilla people who had no idea they would like any of this. Six months later I found someone while engaging in my non-serious sceneing. I attend Black Rose every year just to be able to have some intense yet casual play; so you might say I went on a 6 month BR tour...lol.
Heal baby, but don't let the scars slow you down.

_____________________________

Master Jerry


(in reply to AlphaGeek)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Domme vs Dom - 11/30/2004 1:48:19 PM   
MissDestini


Posts: 13
Joined: 10/9/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: suzeeQ

...or Mistress vs Master. I belong to my Mistress for 3 yrs and I would do anything and all for her, to please her. Soon she will be leaving, and leaving me as well and I find that in my heart i could never love another Domme/Mistress and serve them with as much desire as i have for her.

Here is the question that I have. I may be confused or a bad person but, is it wrong to want a Master or Dom instead? I just feel that I would think too much of my Lady, if I went searching for a Mistress/Domme. I don't know its all very confusing to me and wondered if anyone understands what I am trying to ask and can give me some insight.


I believe that if you love your mistress and your happy then you should do whatever you have to to keep her happy as well....

If the spark is gone then I think you should give yourself a break first to get over her then pursue what you know will make you happy.


_____________________________

Miss Destini

(in reply to suzeeQ)
Profile   Post #: 16
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