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Has this ever happened to you? - 2/25/2015 12:08:17 PM

AlabamaPrincess

Posts: 134
Joined: 2/4/2015
From: The Dragon's Keep
Status: offline

I was in a bar with my Sir, and we were chatting with a few aquaintences. The male was boasting about his Dom experience, etc, and the perspective sub was enraptured by his talk. I was fairly good friends with her, so I looked at her and rolled my eyes. She laughed and we continued with our chat. Anyway, the male tells me "Woman, go empty my ashtray". My Sir looked at him and said "She's not yours, stand down. She listens to me ONLY." ....male laughs and says "I am a Dom, ALL women are MY subs!" Holy hell I spit my drink trying not to laugh. Sir looked at me and laughed, then males puts his finger in my face and says "You are my sub, too" HAHAHAHA! Oh lawd, I looked him square in the face, told him to fuck off, and promptly bit the crap out of his finger. At that point, he looked at Sir and said "WTF? Handle your woman!" ...the reply? "Why? She did a fine job of saving your life." and that's when the male huffed off all angry.

Question is...have you ever had a Dom try to tell you what to do, even though you were collared? (Pending you aren't into the multi-Dom scene). As my Sir said, "You might be A Dom, but you're not HER Dom".

Has this ever happened to you? How did you handle it?

Post #: 1

RE: Has this ever happened to you? - 2/25/2015 12:17:35 PM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

Ya know, I always take issue with people that talk about "Dom Experience"... it seems as silly as someone talking about their Male or Female Experience. I've been Male my entire life, Dominant Male. You handled the chest thumping idiot well.

Jus sayin

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To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to AlabamaPrincess)

Post #: 2

RE: Has this ever happened to you? - 2/25/2015 12:25:44 PM

AlabamaPrincess

Posts: 134
Joined: 2/4/2015
From: The Dragon's Keep
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Ya know, I always take issue with people that talk about "Dom Experience"... it seems as silly as someone talking about their Male or Female Experience. I've been Male my entire life, Dominant Male. You handled the chest thumping idiot well.

Jus sayin

Yep. And thank you. I've always believed that a real man, and it goes without saying of a real Dom, doesn't need to beat his chest or wag his junk in peoples' face to assert his position. He just "is" and people know it.

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 3

RE: Has this ever happened to you? - 2/25/2015 2:58:33 PM

caelestis

Posts: 195
Joined: 9/6/2008
Status: offline

Yeah, a few times, sadly. I've just smiled sweetly and responded with "If you'd like me to do (insert x here), you'll have to ask permission of my Master." They get really sulky real fast and you can just tell the idea of having to ask permission of another dom is just soooo degrading to their own domliness. At that they usually drop it, and I get a good giggle.

I used to be much ruder about it, but he prefers I try to be as polite and demure as possible in situations like this.

_____________________________

"We are a fountain of shimmering contradictions, most of us. Beautiful in the concept, if we're lucky, but frequently tedious or regrettable as we flesh ourselves out."
— Gregory Maguire

(in reply to AlabamaPrincess)

Post #: 4

RE: Has this ever happened to you? - 2/25/2015 5:09:13 PM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline

PUHLEASE.
ALL. THE. TIME.

I got bullied out of this one munch group in NJ because I wouldn't let their leader put a catheter in me (he used the words "I'm choosing you to be my demonstration sub"- meaning he was crossing two hards limits of mine in one- catheters AND public play). He went ON AND ON- about how a real sub isn't able to choose what they want to do, and how I wasn't a real sub, and how if I were a real sub I'd be inclined to serve him, wether I was dating him or not. He "commanded" my respect- and I laughed at him.

I should've known when it was just him and a bunch of females that he was just dragging the lake for tail.

(in reply to caelestis)

Post #: 5

RE: Has this ever happened to you? - 2/25/2015 7:24:26 PM

oldspankster

Posts: 12
Joined: 1/31/2015
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: caelestis

I've just smiled sweetly and responded with "If you'd like me to do (insert x here), you'll have to ask permission of my Master."

IMO, this is a good way to handle the situation. Not disrespectful, or confrontational, yet reenforcing the commitment between you and your Master and gives your Master a another opportunity to display that he is your Master.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AlabamaPrincess

"Why? She did a fine job of saving your life."

Perfect!

Buy that Man a beer!

(in reply to caelestis)

Post #: 6

RE: Has this ever happened to you? - 2/25/2015 9:01:16 PM

RemoteUser

Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
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I'm a Dom and I've had several Dommes try to command me, usually out of the blue, and most often they knew nothing about me. Ego transcends gender.

But yes, I have also had Doms try to tell me how to conduct my business, and I've had subs of both genders try to tell me how to be their fetish delivery service. It all comes down to the same thing, an incredulous look on my face, and sometimes the word, "Seriously...?"

The best way to ballbust an ego is to clearly demonstrate it doesn't matter, without being antagonistic and feeding the troll.

People are fun.

_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.

(in reply to oldspankster)

Post #: 7

RE: Has this ever happened to you? - 2/26/2015 3:21:15 AM

tiggerspoohbear

Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline

Went to a Fet night event and was left on my own while my Dom went for pop. Other Dom, known for "slithering" in on subs left alone. He picked the wrong one, took my Dom & a friend Domme to keep me off him. I was LIVID! Saying hello is one thing, snaking your hands all over me? No go. He didn't come within 20' of me after that.

I ran into him once more at a munch I was hosting, he wasn't aware of that. He saw me walk in & turned into Casper the idiot ghost. I took one step towards him, he ran for the door and never came back.

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(in reply to RemoteUser)

Post #: 8

RE: Has this ever happened to you? - 2/26/2015 7:45:19 AM

AlabamaPrincess

Posts: 134
Joined: 2/4/2015
From: The Dragon's Keep
Status: offline

I guess they are truly everywhere. For several weeks afterward, he was constantly asking my Sir for advice, and even asked him to participate with him and his sub (my friend) which he politely declined. His usual request was "My girl trusts you know what you are doing. Will you come over and do some rope work so she will understand it's ok to be tied up? " Um...WHAT???? SMDH after several of those, Sir politely told him to go do some research before he hurts her or anyone else. Haven't heard from them since.

(in reply to tiggerspoohbear)

Post #: 9

RE: Has this ever happened to you? - 2/26/2015 8:25:49 AM

Bhruic

Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline

Great story OP... and others.

I have certainly had my share of Doms or "Masters" trying to be dominant with me. My reaction is always an odd mixture of amused/annoyed.

I think some people are attracted to the role from a place of insecurity, low self esteem, social anxiety or control issues - or a mixture of same... and that is a recipe for disaster.

_____________________________

pronounced "VROOick"

(in reply to AlabamaPrincess)

Post #: 10

RE: Has this ever happened to you? - 2/26/2015 10:34:16 AM

peppermint

Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

We were contacted on here by a Dom living in our area. Agreed to meet him at a local bar. He handed me money and ordered me to get our drinks. I looked at my Dom and he gave me the look that told me to give the guy the benefit of the doubt for the moment. So I got the drinks. We were not impressed with the guy. When we came home I did more research on the guy. Seems he had 4 or 5 profiles on here, all with different ages from 70 something to 50 something. Some said he was married and some said he was single. It's been years since he could have passed for 50 something. He even took the pictures for the various profiles wearing the same shirt, as if no one would notice. He went on my ignore list.

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Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to AlabamaPrincess)

Post #: 11

RE: Has this ever happened to you? - 2/26/2015 11:19:41 AM

IcarusBurning

Posts: 107
Joined: 2/1/2015
Status: offline

laughably amusing. i dont know if this is unusual, but i respectfully steer clear of anyone who says she is owned, under consideration or, for that matter, not interested. sounds like its quite rare out there.

(in reply to peppermint)

Post #: 12

RE: Has this ever happened to you? - 2/28/2015 5:23:31 PM

wannapleez

Posts: 358
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline

Had a Mistress for a while who asked me over to her house one night. Another guy was already there (he was leaving soon). He was a switch with her. Somehow this asshole got it in his head that I was his, too (or at least that he had any authority over me). My Mistress put him in his place fast!

(in reply to IcarusBurning)

Post #: 13

RE: Has this ever happened to you? - 2/28/2015 11:48:24 PM

orgasmdenial12

Posts: 613
Joined: 9/18/2012
Status: offline

I simply smile and say "you wish" because that's the truth of it. They live in a world where they want to dominate every woman, and yet 99.999% have no desire to submit to them at all. When they try to dominate me, it's nothing more than them seeking their pathetic wish fulfillment, and being rejected yet again. It makes me laugh.

(in reply to AlabamaPrincess)

Post #: 14

RE: Has this ever happened to you? - 3/1/2015 12:39:38 PM

knownlimits

Posts: 17
Joined: 12/22/2012
Status: offline

Greetings,

yes,
i ignored them and kept my focus on my Mistress.
:)
best,
i

_____________________________

"a woman has got to know her limitations"

(in reply to orgasmdenial12)

Post #: 15

RE: Has this ever happened to you? - 3/1/2015 12:57:42 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

Ha, me+that=no bueno... I think I would be frozen in confusion for a moment and think they were joking. I'll be honest, nothing I hear about these events makes me think they're a good idea. I wanted to go to one but I'm worried about the "drama" some people bring with it. Even an experienced kinkster found herself defending herself and her Dom on fet from someone she called a "consent violator". No thank you.

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 3/1/2015 1:05:30 PM >

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

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The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to knownlimits)

Post #: 16

RE: Has this ever happened to you? - 3/2/2015 7:06:05 AM

AlabamaPrincess

Posts: 134
Joined: 2/4/2015
From: The Dragon's Keep
Status: offline

I admit, I was in shock briefly. This was at a common bar, not even a munch. I think he was just trying to put on a display for his woman. Yeah, no. He even sent us a text asking to use our equipment....what? NO! idiot.

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 17

RE: Has this ever happened to you? - 3/2/2015 7:20:20 AM

DerangedUnit

Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline

In person no, would be funny though.... all the guys I've had conversations with are always looking over at him for approval while saying anything even if it's harmless. I.e. at his work one of the guys asked him if I wanted a beer.

(in reply to AlabamaPrincess)

Post #: 18

RE: Has this ever happened to you? - 3/3/2015 9:55:03 AM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

It regularly happens online where dominants come onto partnered submissives and it happens in real life but less often.

I would say that most dominants have enough sense as well as respect to never do this but there are always exceptions. New dominants who don't understand how to follow good protocol as well as experienced dominants who have a deep sense of insecurity.

I have had a couple of people come onto my submissive. One was a good female friend who quietly suggested to my girl that if she ever felt the need for a bit of a change, she had her number. My girl at the time broke the 'quiet talk' and loudly stated, "I would never go behind Maria's back. I'm sure she'd love to talk to you about this", which I did, resulting in the termination of our friendship.

Its not just submissives that stray dominants come on to. I was once working at a London fetish market and helping prepare a performance. The performer, who I know well and who is known on the scene for being an overly obnoxious dominant, called me over. He was upstairs surrounded by giggling girls. "Ah Maria" he said, "be a good girl and go and find xxxxxx for me", to which I replied, "Lets make one thing clear shall we darling. I'm not submissive and neither am I your fucking messenger, so I suggest you behave like any good boy would and go and run your own errands".

I've been on the scene a long time and I don't see this sort of thing happen very often. I can count on one hand how many times its happened to one of my submissives and each time it was dealt with quickly and efficiently. Its certainly not something that would keep me indoors or put me off the scene.

< Message edited by MariaB -- 3/3/2015 9:57:57 AM >

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(in reply to DerangedUnit)

Post #: 19

RE: Has this ever happened to you? - 3/3/2015 12:07:00 PM

UnholyBear

Posts: 661
Joined: 10/19/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser

...and I've had subs of both genders try to tell me how to be their fetish delivery service. It all comes down to the same thing, an incredulous look on my face, and sometimes the word, "Seriously...?"

The best way to ballbust an ego is to clearly demonstrate it doesn't matter, without being antagonistic and feeding the troll.

People are fun.

So that time I ran my hand through your chest hair was a major faux pas??? Oops.

_____________________________

Shameless flirt and just as unholy as ever!

Gauge's cuddlemuffin

CD's manwhore

(in reply to RemoteUser)

Post #: 20

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