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Had to be there - 2/28/2015 6:41:16 PM

Nordictrek

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As someone who has lurked the forums for a while, I wonder how there can still be such a huge divide between the way the erotic aspects of BDSM are portrayed in print (ala ResidentSadist's booklist) and how pornography depicts them. Sans 50-shades-of-grey.

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RE: Had to be there - 2/28/2015 8:41:54 PM

shiftyw

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I think it is because writing does such a better job of conveying what goes on within someone's head than a porno.

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RE: Had to be there - 2/28/2015 8:52:50 PM

ResidentSadist

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The books were written by and/or about people in the lifestyle. The porn is made by vanillas. It's their concept of what they think it is and not based on real experience.

ETA: And on occasion there is some really good BDSM porn made by producers and actors that have real life experience.

< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 2/28/2015 8:55:33 PM >

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RE: Had to be there - 2/28/2015 8:55:07 PM

catize

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~~FAST REPLY``
Print allows us to use our own imagination; film is the directors view point and it's harder to put a different face/hair color' etc when the stars are right there.
I have loved many books---seldom even like the movie because I had already played it out in my own mind.

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RE: Had to be there - 2/28/2015 9:10:09 PM

IcarusBurning

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books definitely reach deeper (no pun intended) because they have the budget of words available to them to explore feelings, emotions, etc which are otherwise hard to portray on film. furthermore, porn actors are professionals, and often not really very good "actors" (in comparison to the likes of Morgan Freeman), so they do what they have to do without much feelings. i might suppose it is also part of their defense mechanism to not have feelings about what they are doing (like doctors and surgeons) since otherwise it might be too much to take.

having said that i found a few books a little too annoying. for example, i recently read "losing it" (cora carmack). it makes me wonder with doubt whether women really feel "desire unfurling in their belly" every time their man's fingernail "scratches against that sensitive portion of skin behind my ear". sometimes they just overdo it, and not unlike porn, set rather unrealistic expectations of what "feverish attraction" ought to feel like.

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RE: Had to be there - 3/1/2015 12:12:11 AM

RemoteUser

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It's not just BDSM.

Things always play out better in your head or in books than in real life, because real life is messy and imperfect.

In real life, the cat will probably jump on the bed when someone is tied down.
In real life, the flogger might break.
In real life, the phone rings at very inopportune moments. (Hi, ma. Am I busy? Well...oh. You need help with what?)

But I digress.

The salience beyond the humour is simply this: visual stimulation carries with it in the modern age a preset expectation of a "perfect packaging". When you see porn you like, you don't see the outtakes (someone suddenyl getting the giggles, the unexpected passage of wind through an orifice...), you see those good parts that give you the tingles. When it doesn't, then it's probably on some level simply incompatible with you. Words can prod the mind to make imagery that simply doesn't happen in real life (or does so uncommonly).

RS is right, in that there is some porn out there that you might find amazing. The niche of kink isn't well explored and isn't often made from the right POV. But if you keep looking, you shall find it. Best of luck.

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RE: Had to be there - 3/4/2015 11:16:13 AM

preytolife

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I find both that booklist and popular erotic fiction to be the subject of idealized fantasies. The difference is that the fantasies are propagated by slightly different populations. There's significant crossover if you broaden your bookshelf a bit. Many of the books on that list also lean towards self help and relationship advice as well, some with more fantastical elements than others.

Media is based on moneymaking. Erotic fiction makes money by making people excited and enticing them with erotic imagery. BDSM self help books make money by sounding super official as though they know exactly what they're talking about and how much more they know about twoo BDSM than erotic fiction.

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