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To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? - 3/6/2015 3:44:54 PM

smileforme50

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From: DelaWHERE(?)
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One thing I find that runs very common in the Dominant profiles I read is how they all say that they have very few (or no) limits and they want a sub or slave who has very few (if any) limits as well.

But doesn't it just seem logical that the person who is on the receiving end of the pain, discomfort or humiliation would have some limit as to how far it can go? Especially when compared to the person giving the pain, discomfort or humiliation?

For instance....I hate canes....but if I was the one swinging one instead of receiving the pain from it....I wouldn't have a limit with them either! Watersports? It really is a lot easier to piss on someone than it is to tolerate being pissed on....trust me.

I'm not saying that there aren't lots of s-types out there who don't actually enjoy or even crave these activities....they certainly do.

But heck....if I was a Dominant, I wouldn't have any limits either.

So I'm asking the D-types out there.....what limits do you have? And why?

Plus....are all your limits automatically "hard limits"? Do you also have "soft limits" that can be pushed? (Meaning....is there something you really hate doing, but if you sub or slave asked, you would do it? Would it really be that difficult for you to do?)

_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

Post #: 1

RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? - 3/6/2015 5:33:22 PM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
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From: The Shire
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Not a D but, to protect themselves from criminal charges. Also in the interest of finding someone compatible- for example, if you can crack a bullwhip anymore because it hurts your back, and you don't say that- you meet someone, they might need someone who can whip them- it eliminates those sorts of things.

They might have a moral objection too. I know a lot of D's with moral objections to rape play, amputation, blood play, etc.

(in reply to smileforme50)

Post #: 2

RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? - 3/6/2015 6:13:36 PM

smileforme50

Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
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I guess that's an issue I haven't encountered yet. I've met Doms who just don't like doing something.....which to me doesn't really make it a "limit". But I've never met any who had any kind of "moral" objection to anything....unless the activity was blatantly illegal. (playing with children, animals). And I don't even consider that to be a "moral" objection....I just consider that him covering his ass.

_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

(in reply to shiftyw)

Post #: 3

RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? - 3/6/2015 6:15:40 PM

UnholyBear

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The best reply I can give is to say that face slapping and the use of a belt in percussion play are the two top limits for me, on both sides of the switch label.

In both cases, I view both as forms of corporal punishment with too many negative connotations. Both are bad triggers and I automatically associate both as degrading and humiliating which I will not engage in nor will I consent to be on the receiving end either.

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RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? - 3/6/2015 6:33:14 PM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
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Also there is the squick factor, for my guy any scat play is a limit cause it squicks him out, same with water sports.

If he is unwilling to do that to me, and it was something Id need I expect he would want that to be obvious in his profile.

Personally, if a man isn't playing with kids simply because it's illegal, and he doesn't have a moral objection to it, that's a red flag to me...

(in reply to UnholyBear)

Post #: 5

RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? - 3/6/2015 6:47:38 PM

DarkSteven

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From my profile: " My hard limits include sex with children and animals, blood, breath play, scat, and severe pain."

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? - 3/6/2015 7:09:22 PM

smileforme50

Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
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quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Personally, if a man isn't playing with kids simply because it's illegal, and he doesn't have a moral objection to it, that's a red flag to me...

I was going to comment on this....but i have a feeling that this is a topic we shouldn't be discussing here. Don't want to get anyone in trouble.

_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

(in reply to shiftyw)

Post #: 7

RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? - 3/6/2015 7:12:14 PM

dreamlady

Posts: 737
Joined: 9/13/2007
From: Western MD
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

But heck....if I was a Dominant, I wouldn't have any limits either.

So I'm asking the D-types out there.....what limits do you have? And why?

Plus....are all your limits automatically "hard limits"? Do you also have "soft limits" that can be pushed? (Meaning....is there something you really hate doing, but if you sub or slave asked, you would do it? Would it really be that difficult for you to do?)

Are you sure about not having any limits on what your sub would want you to do or to make him do? Because I sure do. I have more Topping limits than you can probably shake a stick at. I'm not going to accommodate a pain slut, and I get nothing out of inflicting pain. There are any number of lifestyle choices that get lumped in with BDSM from overlap, such as swinging and polysexuality, and cuckolding practices. (Although, with cuckolding there are strong elements of D/s, mental sadism and mental masochism, in addition to humiliation and acts of degradation.)

If my sub wants to become dilated excessively or use a fucking machine, it will be a cold day in hell, and I will gladly release him and send him packing. The same with being overly enamored of receiving strap-on sex and/or wanting to be forced to suck fake/real cock.

Another Hard Limit in our erotic D/s would be more enthusiasm for kink/kinky bottoming than in wanting to serve his essential purpose as a skillful and artful lover. I don't need a passively mediocre sex slave boytoy -- I can get mediocre sex anywhere in abundance.

Off the top of my head, I can say that watersports is a soft limit. Trampling, including most types of CBT. That body belongs to me, and I expect it to be kept in optimum working order and shipshape condition, not debased or subject to modification. SPH is N/A since I want nothing to do with undersized penises. (Now, THAT's a penultimate Hard Limit! Next to flaccidity.)

(in reply to smileforme50)

Post #: 8

RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? - 3/6/2015 7:16:57 PM

InHisHeart

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Joined: 3/22/2014
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Not a Dom here either but I don't see why Doms wouldn't have limits too.

One of his was always he won't play if his partner had more than a drink or two and if he's had more than 2 drinks. I don't drink at all so that's not a problem with me but if he's been drinking and feeling the slightest bit tipsy, there will be no play for me and it doesn't matter how much I beg him, the same if my PTSD symptoms are at a high. He wants both of our minds clear and rational. Sex isn't off the table at those times but all BDSM activities are.

There are some activities that are hard limits for him, they could be due to triggers, some he just doesn't approve of for him or for me, some he simply wants no part of for one reason or another so it's not going to happen. The limits I have are for the same reasons.

There are a few things I get excited over that aren't turn-ons for him but he'll indulge me at times because he knows it turns me on and he likes getting me all worked up.

_____________________________

I don't have a bucket list but my fucket list is a mile long.

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(in reply to smileforme50)

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RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? - 3/6/2015 7:26:25 PM

DerangedUnit

Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
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Doms that say they have no limit to how long they can keep swinging are lying *chuckles* I still remember the last caning I got were he was complaining his arms hurt before before I stopped giggling,I called him a wuss and he went off pouting in his room. Granted my thighs really did hurt but I wasn't going to let him know that.

< Message edited by DerangedUnit -- 3/6/2015 7:29:24 PM >

(in reply to InHisHeart)

Post #: 10

RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? - 3/6/2015 7:45:13 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

LOL Limits make sense. Some people are either really cuckoo or have no fucking clue what this lifestyle entails and they think it means rampant abuse. This guy had a writing on Fet and it creeped the fuck out of me. He and this girl were literally going berserk on each other and he liked making her all fucked up mentally and rehashing really bad experiences. I can't even properly describe how depraved it all was. He said she would call him a "sick fuck" and he loved making her cry and people actually loved it. I was extremely confused. It was just creepy and wtf but someone explained it was fantasy. (Guessing he wasn't a fan).

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 3/6/2015 7:48:36 PM >

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

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RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? - 3/6/2015 7:54:05 PM

FrankAr

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Joined: 10/1/2005
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Actually have not found any limits in my life as of yet. I consider good communication to be a part of this. If I do not feel we are compatible then we go our separate ways. I like to tinge the skin and make it a slight red for that ohhhh feeling when you touch the area, but have yet to make the skin bleed, it is not my thing.

Maybe there might be a limit, but in my physical relationships there has yet to be one.

Frank Ar.

_____________________________

I am just me, simple ol me.

Even the softest whisper can be heard in the loudest group....Frank H.

(in reply to smileforme50)

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RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? - 3/6/2015 9:13:08 PM

smileforme50

Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FrankAr

Actually have not found any limits in my life as of yet. I consider good communication to be a part of this. If I do not feel we are compatible then we go our separate ways. I like to tinge the skin and make it a slight red for that ohhhh feeling when you touch the area, but have yet to make the skin bleed, it is not my thing.

Maybe there might be a limit, but in my physical relationships there has yet to be one.

Frank Ar.

^^^^^^ This is what I'm talking about that I keep running into ^^^^^^^^

_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

(in reply to FrankAr)

Post #: 13

RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? - 3/7/2015 1:33:45 AM

NookieNotes

Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

But heck....if I was a Dominant, I wouldn't have any limits either.

So I'm asking the D-types out there.....what limits do you have? And why?

Plus....are all your limits automatically "hard limits"? Do you also have "soft limits" that can be pushed? (Meaning....is there something you really hate doing, but if you sub or slave asked, you would do it? Would it really be that difficult for you to do?)

Non-consent, including anything that they may title "forced." Not because of liability, but because for me, consent is sexy. I WANT to elicit that desire and need.

Non-consent also includes children and animals. Feces is a hard limit, although I'm not squicked out by them during basic butt play. I just have no interest in ever making more of them than they are.

Anything I have not yet learned well enough to be fully comfortable with is a soft limit. Bullwhips, for example. Needle play. Etc.

Idiocy is a hard limit.

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
That body belongs to me, and I expect it to be kept in optimum working order and shipshape condition, not debased or subject to modification.

Yes, this.

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
SPH is N/A since I want nothing to do with undersized penises. (Now, THAT's a penultimate Hard Limit! Next to flaccidity.)

LOL! this was one of my "not interesteds," for a similar reason. My Pet has a slightly larger than average cock (which is strangely still the smallest cock I've ever had), and for some reason LOVES SPH. And it's FUN!

He's a grower, not a shower, so when he's small, he can look extremely tiny, and I can make fun of that all day long!

*smiles*

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(in reply to dreamlady)

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RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? - 3/7/2015 9:26:43 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

quote:

ORIGINAL: FrankAr
Actually have not found any limits in my life as of yet. I consider good communication to be a part of this. If I do not feel we are compatible then we go our separate ways. I like to tinge the skin and make it a slight red for that ohhhh feeling when you touch the area, but have yet to make the skin bleed, it is not my thing.

Maybe there might be a limit, but in my physical relationships there has yet to be one.

Frank Ar.

^^^^^^ This is what I'm talking about that I keep running into ^^^^^^^^

While he does start off claiming he hasn't found a limit yet, he then goes on to tell us that he won't make her bleed. Sounds like a limit to me and if I had to guess I bet he would find amputation to be a limit since he already says he doesn't like blood. Oh and knives, needles or blood draws would also be limits. just sayin...

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"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

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(in reply to smileforme50)

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RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? - 3/7/2015 10:31:02 AM

IcarusBurning

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Joined: 2/1/2015
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Firstly, I believe (and sincerely hope) no dominant would get involved in something illegal. This includes blackmail, abduction, forced (actually non-consensual) sex, torture (beyond a safe point), forced abortions, or involving children. Such practices are abhorrent, and against humanity, let along BDSM.

Below this point it is a matter of personal preference. For me, I hold consent as the holiest grail. In my eyes, a lot can happen in a D/s // M/s relationship, but NEVER without consent. This includes, in my world view, objectively announced non-consent, as well as implied non-consent. Often, slaves and submissives get into a situation which is emotionally and physically much more intense than they had anticipated. At such times, some , in a display of tolerance and obedience, will endure through the scene, only to miserably break down later on. I believe a good dominant should be able to see such cues on part of his sub / slave when she is actually in pain or torment and not voicing it due to some reason and cease play immediately, or at least pause and make sure everything is alright.

Also, for me, non-consent includes never sexually involving a girl / woman who is intoxicated. Even if she says yes a 100 times, I shall ignore her each time because I dont want to be the person you regret waking up beside. That hurts my pride as a dominant.

< Message edited by IcarusBurning -- 3/7/2015 10:38:50 AM >

(in reply to thishereboi)

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RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? - 3/7/2015 10:36:10 AM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IcarusBurning

Firstly, I believe (and sincerely hope) no dominant would get involved in something illegal. This includes blackmail, abduction, forced (actually non-consensual) sex, torture (beyond a safe point), forced abortions, involving children. Such practices are abhorrent, and against humanity, let along BDSM.

You're really getting wound up over nothing imo. The last two you mentioned will likely never happen unless some extreme psychopathy is involved, the first few are usually consensual play. Case in point, I had a conversation with a pint sized astrophysicist who said she accidentally ended up in a gangbang area sucking 7 cocks, then said the only thing that pissed her off is that she didn't get fucked LOL. So yea, everyone has their preferences.

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 3/7/2015 10:41:56 AM >

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to IcarusBurning)

Post #: 17

RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? - 3/7/2015 10:41:58 AM

Moderator3

Posts: 3289
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Personally, if a man isn't playing with kids simply because it's illegal, and he doesn't have a moral objection to it, that's a red flag to me...

I was going to comment on this....but i have a feeling that this is a topic we shouldn't be discussing here. Don't want to get anyone in trouble.

No one will get into any trouble for these comments and it can be discussed. Speaking of children isn't something we need to avoid. Speaking about children in a sense where we add a sexual content to it, promoting it or telling of an experience from an adult stance with a child, will cause big trouble. As an adult, if you had an experience as a child, such as abuse or an adult acting badly, that could be shared if you thought it a good decision or you had a need. I wouldn't recommend graphic details, but the topic would be okay. Saying you abused a child would not be okay.

See the difference? I'm tired at the moment and may not be clear enough.

If there is a question, please contact me. We don't want you all afraid to speak your minds!

< Message edited by Moderator3 -- 3/7/2015 10:47:13 AM >

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RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? - 3/7/2015 10:53:06 AM

InHisHeart

Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Personally, if a man isn't playing with kids simply because it's illegal, and he doesn't have a moral objection to it, that's a red flag to me...

I agree completely. That would be a huge red flag!

_____________________________

I don't have a bucket list but my fucket list is a mile long.

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.

(in reply to shiftyw)

Post #: 19

RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? - 3/7/2015 11:28:39 AM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

I have to say a lot of what is being said makes no sense to me. Who even stated they don't have a moral objection to harming kids and why does not having limits carved in stone automatically mean you are fine with amputation? I have been offered castration before and I declined. So who are we accusing? The Doms or the subs?

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to InHisHeart)

Post #: 20

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