RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why?

RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? (Full Version)

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DesFIP -> RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? (3/7/2015 12:08:49 PM)
The Man won't do breath play. He'll wrap his hand around my neck but he's not going to choke me till I pass out. He's not going to spend a year learning how to whip properly. He has no interest in peeing on me, he views it as degradation and doesn't do that. He won't do orgasm denial, it's rare for him to do orgasm control. He much prefers forced orgasms. His biggest limit when asked is smoking. He won't even sit and talk with people if there's any detectable smell of smoke.

smileforme50 -> RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? (3/7/2015 5:59:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko I have to say a lot of what is being said makes no sense to me. Who even stated they don't have a moral objection to harming kids and why does not having limits carved in stone automatically mean you are fine with amputation? I have been offered castration before and I declined. So who are we accusing? The Doms or the subs? Yes...it's gotten a little off track. I think amputation and play with kids are pretty much and understood universal limit for everyone unless they have severe psychological issues. What I am asking about are the more commonly accepted practices and "edge" play. My point is that Doms wave off stuff like it's nothing....like none of it is a big deal and they can't understand why a sub/slave would have any kind of hard limit. Watersports? Why should a Dom have a hard limit for watersports? What I'm saying is that it is a lot easier to be the giver of most of these things instead of the recipient. And I don't mean skill-wise....yes....it takes great practice and skill to wield a single tail or put needles in someone, but what kind of emotional makeup does it take to do those things versus what it takes to be the recipient?

GoddessManko -> RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? (3/7/2015 6:12:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: smileforme50 Yes...it's gotten a little off track. What I am asking about are the more commonly accepted practices and "edge" play. My point is that Doms wave off stuff like it's nothing....like none of it is a big deal and they can't understand why a sub/slave would have any kind of hard limit. Watersports? Why should a Dom have a hard limit for watersports? What I'm saying is that it is a lot easier to be the giver of most of these things instead of the recipient. And I don't mean skill-wise....yes....it takes great practice and skill to wield a single tail or put needles in someone, but what kind of emotional makeup does it take to do those things versus what it takes to be the recipient? Ahhhh I understand. Is there any measure of sensitivity for the fact that the sub is willing to go as far as the Dom is willing to push. And whether a lack of appreciation is indicative of insensitivity. Those are the fundamental questions I suppose. I hope that sociopathic Doms are few and far between. I also hope that people who do have the compulsion to feel "real fear" in a kink oriented setting are allowed to, some people get off on "fear" itself and are adrenaline junkies in this regard. They are well aware of the risks and are willing to take them. A Dom who wants to venture into dark desires is best suited with the latter rather than someone who needs words and touches of comfort and reassurance. Most of you know I don't really sleep around (understatement? hehe) but I know many people who are sexually adventurous and not just in a kinky setting. I believe in mutual understanding when it comes to those things. If I called the astrophysicist a "dirty slut" she would know I mean it affectionately and chances are she would shrug it off or laugh and stick her tongue out. She loves being manhandled and fucked by many cocks. And I think that is awesome. You can admire something silently and choose not to gush about it but yet not be a participant. Sort of like loving music yet not playing an instrument if that makes sense. You can be loved for being a completely sexual being, and that's OK. Or you can live for sexual desire absent love and that's perfectly fine and natural as well.

ChrchofDrk -> RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? (3/7/2015 6:48:52 PM)
My absolute hard limits include sex with children and animals, blood, breath play, and scat. My basic hard limits are anything I don't like. Like sharing. I don't share. you want a slave, get your own. I don't eat pussy. No, I really don't care how much you like it and there's probably more I'm just not thinking of right now

ChrchofDrk -> RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? (3/7/2015 6:52:52 PM)
Oh yeah and smoking. I absolutely detest smoking or the smell of smoke on someone. I smoked for 44 yrs before giving them up a year and a half ago. As the saying goes, Beware the reformed. So no smoking ever in any way

DesFIP -> RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? (3/7/2015 8:06:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: smileforme50 Watersports? Why should a Dom have a hard limit for watersports? And I don't mean skill-wise....yes....it takes great practice and skill to wield a single tail or put needles in someone, but what kind of emotional makeup does it take to do those things versus what it takes to be the recipient? As I said, he views watersports as extreme degradation and he won't do that to a partner. He views degrading people as something repellent. He limits it because it makes him feel that he's a bad person. So if that was something I had needed, he wouldn't even have written to me. Now, his profile didn't list that, although it did list the smoking as a deal breaker. But when it came up in conversation, he was clear that he would never do it and that he can't see anything remotely positive in it.

smileforme50 -> RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? (3/7/2015 10:20:28 PM)
I think my problem is that I'm not running into these Doms that have the same "limits" that I do. For example.....how did you find someone NOT into watersports? I mean....I can tolerate it a little bit....but just a little! But I think my biggest problem is that one of my biggest limits is something most men just can't seem to live without....DEEP THROAT oral. I actually enjoy giving oral....but guys....and I think especially guys with a dominant nature, just can't seem to imagine life without pushing their cock deep into someone's throat. What especially drives me crazy about it is that this is something that very, very few of them have ever experienced themselves.....at least not any of the ones I have talked to. So it really irritates me when they look at me sideways with an expression of "what's the big deal?" And all I can say back is...."Gee, I don't know, I've kind of developed this habit over my life....the habit of BREATHING. I like it and I've gotten used to it and I don't have any interest in stopping!" [sm=couch.gif]

DaddySatyr -> RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? (3/7/2015 10:53:53 PM)
This may bore some people, but it's my story. My "limits" are my own morals and ethics. Obviously, time doesn't permit me to go into great detail, but I would like to use this opportunity to get on a soap box (sort of). I've been a member of this website for almost a decade (I joined in '06 sometime; under the name "Satyr6406"). I have been involved in this lifestyle for quite a bit longer than that. It never ceases to amaze me that certain things get merged when it's not necessarily the case. Because I was abused, physically, emotionally, and sexually, as a young'un, I find no pleasure in most "violent" play. Oh, sure, some light flogger play is okay and smacking an ass is "normal", as far as I'm concerned, but that's where it ends for me. In my case, especially, "Dominant ≠ Sadist". You see, young boys that are abused usually go one of two ways; they become abusers, themselves or they become protectors ... "white knights" ... Daddy types. Then, we get into ethical questions. When I'm "single and dating" (I haven't been for quite some time), any lady I so much as meet for a soda (I don't drink coffee) knows that I am meeting others for a soda. I try with all my might to be painstakingly honest with everyone in every situation. Obviously, this doesn't bode well for "office politics" situations. People would rather hear a comfortable lie than an uncomfortable truth. I do try to always remember that honesty without compassion is brutality, but I'd be lying, if I said that I didn't sometimes miss the mark. Of course, all of this is in addition to the usual "no kids/animals/shit" limits that most of us incorporate. Michael

DerangedUnit -> RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? (3/8/2015 1:15:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr This may bore some people, but it's my story. My "limits" are my own morals and ethics. Obviously, time doesn't permit me to go into great detail, but I would like to use this opportunity to get on a soap box (sort of). I've been a member of this website for almost a decade (I joined in '06 sometime; under the name "Satyr6406"). I have been involved in this lifestyle for quite a bit longer than that. It never ceases to amaze me that certain things get merged when it's not necessarily the case. Because I was abused, physically, emotionally, and sexually, as a young'un, I find no pleasure in most "violent" play. Oh, sure, some light flogger play is okay and smacking an ass is "normal", as far as I'm concerned, but that's where it ends for me. In my case, especially, "Dominant ≠ Sadist". You see, young boys that are abused usually go one of two ways; they become abusers, themselves or they become protectors ... "white knights" ... Daddy types. Then, we get into ethical questions. When I'm "single and dating" (I haven't been for quite some time), any lady I so much as meet for a soda (I don't drink coffee) knows that I am meeting others for a soda. I try with all my might to be painstakingly honest with everyone in every situation. Obviously, this doesn't bode well for "office politics" situations. People would rather hear a comfortable lie than an uncomfortable truth. I do try to always remember that honesty without compassion is brutality, but I'd be lying, if I said that I didn't sometimes miss the mark. Of course, all of this is in addition to the usual "no kids/animals/shit" limits that most of us incorporate. Michael Thumbs up to that

DerangedUnit -> RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? (3/8/2015 1:23:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: smileforme50 "Gee, I don't know, I've kind of developed this habit over my life....the habit of BREATHING. I like it and I've gotten used to it and I don't have any interest in stopping!" [sm=couch.gif] :P this is why you keep one hand on their balls, if they hold your head down you have leverage ;) though I have to saying finding someone who says they don't like head and letting them keep their belief is one of the best decisions I ever made. So many guys would be so lazy, given the choice it was always "I'm tired from work can I just watch the game while you blow me" I'm never giving head agin, it just means I don't get laid.

DesFIP -> RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? (3/8/2015 9:16:32 AM)
He's not a sadist. He's a bondage rigger. I'm not a masochist, I'm a bondage bunny. As far as deep throating, he watches to see when I need a breath and then pulls back for a bit. But yeah, I've never understood that 'breathe through your nose' shit. After thrusting into my throat, my nose is running and not available as an airway.

tiggerspoohbear -> RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? (3/8/2015 12:07:26 PM)
I'm lucky, my Dom knows I can deep throat but let's me have control. I have COPD, asthma & bronchitis. I have to be able to breathe or I can have an anxiety attack. It's something we both enjoy but I can't be forced, my head will buck up.

FrankAr -> RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? (3/8/2015 4:17:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thishereboi quote: ORIGINAL: smileforme50 quote: ORIGINAL: FrankAr Actually have not found any limits in my life as of yet. I consider good communication to be a part of this. If I do not feel we are compatible then we go our separate ways. I like to tinge the skin and make it a slight red for that ohhhh feeling when you touch the area, but have yet to make the skin bleed, it is not my thing. Maybe there might be a limit, but in my physical relationships there has yet to be one. Frank Ar. ^^^^^^ This is what I'm talking about that I keep running into ^^^^^^^^ While he does start off claiming he hasn't found a limit yet, he then goes on to tell us that he won't make her bleed. Sounds like a limit to me and if I had to guess I bet he would find amputation to be a limit since he already says he doesn't like blood. Oh and knives, needles or blood draws would also be limits. just sayin... Maybe you should ask before stepping into my mind and just being wrong. I did not say that I would not make the female bleed, I just said that it was not my thing. Some females like to bleed every session, they like the feel of that type of sensation, now making her bleed every session is not my thing. However if the situation goes into a deep sense of desire and want then I just might make the female bleed, but you see then the after care would be high because of the blood and then anything else. I love using knives in a session. Letting the blade run across the skin is a sensation that does drive the female crazy with anticipation especially when she has a blindfold on. You can press a knife into the body very deeply without drawing out any blood, you can mark the female's tits and thighs and arse without bringing the blood to the surface, and the need to be in control and stable while she is writhing in want and desire is a must, because the control is the utmost, you do not want to head into the emergency dept. Would I go with an aputee, I just might, or I might not, depends on the situation. You do not know if it is a limit until you get to the line of no return. That is why communication is the utmost in all my dealings, be upfront and open and there is no hiding anything that you will be caught upon in 6 months time or a year. You keep upfront in all the communications with the other person and the relationship is very sound. Frank Ar.

NookieNotes -> RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? (3/9/2015 10:29:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP As I said, he views watersports as extreme degradation and he won't do that to a partner. He views degrading people as something repellent. He limits it because it makes him feel that he's a bad person. Interesting. I see it as marking my territory. But, then, it's also not a 'must-have' for me. Nothing physical is, except the basics of really good sex (including oral). The kink stuff and how it goes on is unique to each individual, in my world.

MalcolmNathaniel -> RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? (3/9/2015 1:18:44 PM)
We have limits because dead slave girls aren't much fun. They don't come, when you call. They hardly suck cock at all. Dead slave girls aren't much fun. Something similar.

smileforme50 -> RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? (3/10/2015 3:56:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit :P this is why you keep one hand on their balls, if they hold your head down you have leverage ;) though I have to saying finding someone who says they don't like head and letting them keep their belief is one of the best decisions I ever made. So many guys would be so lazy, given the choice it was always "I'm tired from work can I just watch the game while you blow me" I'm never giving head agin, it just means I don't get laid. LOL....you are SO right about this. I've known a couple of guys who were so damned lazy about this stuff. They would want to "start" with me giving them a BJ ....and then that was as far as ANYTHING went. I gave them 2 chances. After the second chance I assumed it was going to be a pattern and I got rid of them. I mean.....I don't mind doing it....a lot of times I even enjoy it a lot, but if that's ALL we're ever going to do and I need to keep a stock of batteries for my vibe because he doesn't want to reciprocate....then he can f*** himself. quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP But yeah, I've never understood that 'breathe through your nose' shit. After thrusting into my throat, my nose is running and not available as an airway. EXACTLY!!!!! This is SO one of those things that I think they need to experience themselves before insisting that their sub or slave do it. quote: ORIGINAL: tiggerspoohbear I'm lucky, my Dom knows I can deep throat but let's me have control. I have COPD, asthma & bronchitis. I have to be able to breathe or I can have an anxiety attack. It's something we both enjoy but I can't be forced, my head will buck up. I can relate to this totally....I don't have COPD and I am not prone to anxiety attacks either, but if I start to choke, I do have a bit of an anxiety attack. It's just NOT good. quote: ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel We have limits because dead slave girls aren't much fun. They don't come, when you call. They hardly suck cock at all. Dead slave girls aren't much fun. So are you saying that the only limits you have are the things that would kill or permanently disable them?

littleladybug -> RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? (3/12/2015 9:34:44 AM)
Until my man decides to hold his nose and enter the fray here, I'll answer for him. [:D] If I were a betting person, I would wager that his response to this would be something like "yes, I have my own hard limits, like strict monogamy and exhibitionism. Other than that, I work within the limits my partner gives to me." What I have come to really appreciate about him is that there are certain things that he likes that I do not, and he doesn't feel any need to press them. He understands that he may very well never flog another human being again, and accepts it. If however, the situation were different, and we did partake in S&M play, I would venture to guess that his "limits" in this respect would be largely dictated by his partner. Particularly in the "where" and "how much" category. In all aspects of our relationship, it's not all about his pleasure. (Another thing I appreciate about him.)

ResidentSadist -> RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? (3/12/2015 11:09:06 AM)
My limits are not internal because under the right circumstances, most people are capable of almost anything. I don't even think of them as limits, more like experience boundaries. So I set my "limits" just a little bit beyond my partner's experience boundaries so there is always room to grow and experience new things. For example, I am not predisposed to enjoy scat. But there was this girl from Chicago that loved it so much, her passion was contagious. Let's take age limits. That is a regional moral . . . in some 3rd world countries the age of consent is 12 years old. That would make most people cringe to think about, but it is the norm for those born and raised there. Cannibalism, human sacrifices (religious), bestiality, court cutting a thief's hand off, genital mutilation and etc. These are all things you probably wouldn't do but they are things humans do. So limits and your morals are set by your environment, not by some altruistic human instinct about what is right or wrong. There are real limits, like telling your slave to fly won't make it happen. So as long as the limit is within the realm of possibility, that limit is a choice. However, a wonderful slave in the spirit of TPE once said, "with a running start Sir, I could give you a few seconds of flight."

AlabamaPrincess -> RE: To Masters and Doms....what are you limits....and why? (3/13/2015 6:06:03 AM)
When Sir and I were (and still do) discuss limits (in my learning process, limits change) I asked Him what His were. He said He dated a woman who was into knife play, blood play, and extreme breath play. All of those were a no-go for Him. He didn't care how much she got off on seeing blood, or whatever, those were hard limits for Him. He gave the list, including scat and piss, so it's very clear. Good thing for me, those are extreme hard limits on my end as well

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