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Unrealistic and unsafe fantasies of subs / slaves? - 3/7/2015 10:22:30 AM

IcarusBurning

Posts: 107
Joined: 2/1/2015
Status: offline

Dear all

Recently I have been rather disturbed by reading the profiles of some subs / slaves on here, who claim that they want rather extreme forms of slavery. I understand slaves have masochistic tendencies, but some slaves on here ask for complete dehumanization, being locked up and forgotten in a dungeon, caged and tortured. They openly state that they do not want any limits and sometimes not even any safewords. It is particularly disturbing to read such desires from young slaves who are below 20 years of age.

I suppose some are fakes, and some other harbor such fantasies precisely because they are 18. However, I wanted to know the perspective of any experienced lifetime slaves on here. Have you ever been involved in a position like this? If so, was it in the end safe and healthy for you, both physically and mentally?

If not, should we (or at least responsible and experienced members on CSP) consider upholding the best and safest practices, especially for young novices who are so vulnerable to get exploited?

< Message edited by IcarusBurning -- 3/7/2015 10:23:19 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: Unrealistic and unsafe fantasies of subs / slaves? - 3/7/2015 10:29:58 AM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

I have stated before my boy is a no limit slave but most of our encounters are as normal and vanilla as any. He asks for permission to sleep, to bathe, to eat. I know his entire schedule and control most facets of his life. The whole 24/7 caging and torturing thing is mostly fantasist blah. Some make the assumption it will play out in real life the way it does in their heads. I wouldn't think too far into it,especially that anyone is being exploited if they're volunteering for x,y and z. If anything they will turn most Dominants away and the ones who will try to take them on end up like this. http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/captive-calif-woman-raped-beaten-2-months-deputies-article-1.2130328
Either way, there's little chance of it "going places" if we are talking "extreme". The chances of infection/death and "real life" imprisonment are too high.

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 3/7/2015 10:32:58 AM >

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to IcarusBurning)

Post #: 2

RE: Unrealistic and unsafe fantasies of subs / slaves? - 3/7/2015 10:35:52 AM

IcarusBurning

Posts: 107
Joined: 2/1/2015
Status: offline

yes indeed manko thats what bothers me most heavily. we dont want cases like colleen stan, elizabeth fritzl and natascha kampusch happening again. sure, these girls were not advertising themselves to be taken, but it shows there are monsters in this world who will prey on the likes of them. such a shame for the bdsm community, and humanity at large.

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 3

RE: Unrealistic and unsafe fantasies of subs / slaves? - 3/7/2015 11:01:19 AM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IcarusBurning

yes indeed manko thats what bothers me most heavily. we dont want cases like colleen stan, elizabeth fritzl and natascha kampusch happening again. sure, these girls were not advertising themselves to be taken, but it shows there are monsters in this world who will prey on the likes of them. such a shame for the bdsm community, and humanity at large.

Being kidnapped in real life and abduction for "play" are two totally different things. Same as slavery has a completely different meaning in a vanilla context vs lifestyle context which is precisely why I avoid the word "slave" even though it is the label of choice for someone handing the keys of their life over to you. I do not want to be lumped together with criminal minds because I have an inclination for kink. I do not agree with nor support any form of criminal behavior, ever. Most people I know who have been arrested is for something "common" and "petty" like driving while intoxicated and they learned to take cabs or carpool.

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 3/7/2015 11:02:27 AM >

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to IcarusBurning)

Post #: 4

RE: Unrealistic and unsafe fantasies of subs / slaves? - 3/7/2015 11:03:55 AM

petitespot

Posts: 288
Joined: 7/3/2006
From: Surfside Beach, SC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IcarusBurning

Dear all

Recently I have been rather disturbed by reading the profiles of some subs / slaves on here, who claim that they want rather extreme forms of slavery. I understand slaves have masochistic tendencies, but some slaves on here ask for complete dehumanization, being locked up and forgotten in a dungeon, caged and tortured. They openly state that they do not want any limits and sometimes not even any safewords. It is particularly disturbing to read such desires from young slaves who are below 20 years of age.

I suppose some are fakes, and some other harbor such fantasies precisely because they are 18. However, I wanted to know the perspective of any experienced lifetime slaves on here. Have you ever been involved in a position like this? If so, was it in the end safe and healthy for you, both physically and mentally?

If not, should we (or at least responsible and experienced members on CSP) consider upholding the best and safest practices, especially for young novices who are so vulnerable to get exploited?

I've done a lot of unsafe things. I used to get off on putting myself in unsafe situations.
I've never used a safe word. Never had a safe call.
I'm also a grown adult and know that there may be negative consequences to these choices.
In the end, for me, it was exhilarating. I was never harmed. I have really good gut instincts about people.

As for being responsible for others that make stupid choices...not my problem. I mind my own business when it comes to the choices of legal adults.
If someone asks my opinion about something, I'll tell them. But that's as far as I'll go in terms of involvement.

_____________________________

(in reply to IcarusBurning)

Post #: 5

RE: Unrealistic and unsafe fantasies of subs / slaves? - 3/7/2015 12:13:17 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Most people who say they want to be imprisoned and kept in a cell are unhappily married, middle aged men seeking a fantasy escape from the responsibilities of real life. Those barely legal girls are actually much older men hoping to get some interest from others online. I wouldn't sit up nights worrying.

Oh, and if you asked them to meet, you would be stood up.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 3/7/2015 12:14:29 PM >

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to petitespot)

Post #: 6

RE: Unrealistic and unsafe fantasies of subs / slaves? - 3/7/2015 12:14:22 PM

wannapleez

Posts: 358
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline

Um, it's not just the subs looking for dangerous stuff. I've seen several Dommes wanting that -- and sometimes getting it.

In fact, this may be where the subs get the ideas in the first place.

(in reply to IcarusBurning)

Post #: 7

RE: Unrealistic and unsafe fantasies of subs / slaves? - 3/7/2015 12:25:26 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

The seed or inclination had to already be there beforehand. These are adults we are talking about and they know what their personal limits and desires are. I'm sure many of them mulled it over in their minds before deciding this is what they want. That's like saying a Domme forced someone into submission. That does not happen, let's stop that. No one forced you to sub to a FinDomme, no one forced you to visit a ProDomme and no one forced you to agree to "edge play".
petitespot is right, we need to stop absolving adults of their personal decisions just because they are D or s. I am in charge of my own life and my own decisions. I own them. I own reasons for owning or dismissing someone. If you think you can make me dom on your terms, best of luck. I make my position clear, some choose to ignore that foolishly. It is their fault despite them being a "sub". However those goons get stopped at the gate and not admitted entry.

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 3/7/2015 12:28:42 PM >

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to wannapleez)

Post #: 8

RE: Unrealistic and unsafe fantasies of subs / slaves? - 3/7/2015 1:04:53 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

Fantasies are just that.

They don't always need to be acted out.

I would not worry what people write in their profiles.

I have crazy fantasies that I use as turn on fodder, but of course I would never engage in them.

I have, however, been able to create the idea and mood of the fantasies with someone else.

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 9

RE: Unrealistic and unsafe fantasies of subs / slaves? - 3/7/2015 4:15:18 PM

RockaRolla

Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline

My perception of a lot of these types is that they're inexperienced and maybe saw something like their fantasy in a porno or erotica. The downsides of these fantasies don't occur to them because of their lack of experience.

Another possibility is that they want to keep themselves from leaving the arrangement because they know on a subconscious level that they will try to in the future.

Honestly, though, I see a lot more doms requesting subs of this type than I see subs with these fantasies on their profiles. (And I have a switch profile, so in theory I should be seeing both.) And perhaps that's another explanation: They see a dom with such requests and think a declaration of no-limits will make them more attractive.

< Message edited by RockaRolla -- 3/7/2015 4:16:04 PM >

_____________________________

~Roxie

(in reply to IcarusBurning)

Post #: 10

RE: Unrealistic and unsafe fantasies of subs / slaves? - 3/7/2015 9:51:59 PM

IcarusBurning

Posts: 107
Joined: 2/1/2015
Status: offline

i agree the moral policing bit was unfair for me to put in, apologies.

(in reply to RockaRolla)

Post #: 11

RE: Unrealistic and unsafe fantasies of subs / slaves? - 3/8/2015 11:23:28 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I didn't view it as moral policing but worrying about others. Empathy and concern. And those are always good qualities to have.

In this specific instance it's probably unfounded and unnecessary because you aren't accustomed to how many people lie about their desires, who they are and so on.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to IcarusBurning)

Post #: 12

RE: Unrealistic and unsafe fantasies of subs / slaves? - 3/8/2015 11:39:02 AM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IcarusBurning

i agree the moral policing bit was unfair for me to put in, apologies.

It happens but you recognized it was in haste and that some people really don't require it. They're just dandy with their personal choices, as consensual adults.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to IcarusBurning)

Post #: 13

RE: Unrealistic and unsafe fantasies of subs / slaves? - 3/8/2015 3:58:44 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IcarusBurning

i agree the moral policing bit was unfair for me to put in, apologies.

Well put.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to IcarusBurning)

Post #: 14

RE: Unrealistic and unsafe fantasies of subs / slaves? - 3/8/2015 8:34:05 PM

UnholyBear

Posts: 661
Joined: 10/19/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IcarusBurning

yes indeed manko thats what bothers me most heavily. we dont want cases like colleen stan, elizabeth fritzl and natascha kampusch happening again. sure, these girls were not advertising themselves to be taken, but it shows there are monsters in this world who will prey on the likes of them. such a shame for the bdsm community, and humanity at large.

The harsh reality is that there will always be people who have unrealistic fantasies and believe that is what they want to participate in, just like there will always be unsavory people who will exploit this. As for the rest of "us", all we can do is offer up options for people we see as potentially placing themselves in harm's way. If "we" cross that line into a more aggressive stance to ward off predators and monsters, we then become what we abhor. i don't believe any of us here are free from having unrealistic fantasies and we have probably placed ourselves at risk at some point in our lives...the difference is we had somehow managed to survive this and became a little bit wise for it. We see the less wise, the newbies and the naive making bad choices or making choices that appears to be the wrong choice that could result in harm yet all we can do is advise and caution them that the outcome may not be as they assume it will be.

_____________________________

Shameless flirt and just as unholy as ever!

Gauge's cuddlemuffin

CD's manwhore

(in reply to IcarusBurning)

Post #: 15

RE: Unrealistic and unsafe fantasies of subs / slaves? - 3/8/2015 9:00:20 PM

seekingreality

Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IcarusBurning

Dear all

Recently I have been rather disturbed by reading the profiles of some subs / slaves on here, who claim that they want rather extreme forms of slavery. I understand slaves have masochistic tendencies, but some slaves on here ask for complete dehumanization, being locked up and forgotten in a dungeon, caged and tortured. They openly state that they do not want any limits and sometimes not even any safewords. It is particularly disturbing to read such desires from young slaves who are below 20 years of age.

I suppose some are fakes, and some other harbor such fantasies precisely because they are 18. However, I wanted to know the perspective of any experienced lifetime slaves on here. Have you ever been involved in a position like this? If so, was it in the end safe and healthy for you, both physically and mentally?

If not, should we (or at least responsible and experienced members on CSP) consider upholding the best and safest practices, especially for young novices who are so vulnerable to get exploited?

My basic perspective is: (1) there will always be online fantacizers and(2) I don't want be the policeman/guardian of the world. Sure, if someone comes in and posts something silly and I see it, I'll tell them it's silly. But, realistically, I'm responsible for my life and you (the everyone you) is responsible for yours.

(in reply to IcarusBurning)

Post #: 16

RE: Unrealistic and unsafe fantasies of subs / slaves? - 3/9/2015 8:41:50 AM

Redhusky

Posts: 83
Joined: 7/2/2014
Status: offline

I saw once a post on fetlife in a master/slave group that a slave asked if it's fine to have all his teeth's removed. I can say , the group responded all saying NO, however there were responses asking the slave if he thought of possibility of losing his master and other events that might happen in the future.

(in reply to seekingreality)

Post #: 17

RE: Unrealistic and unsafe fantasies of subs / slaves? - 3/9/2015 10:35:34 AM

AlabamaPrincess

Posts: 134
Joined: 2/4/2015
From: The Dragon's Keep
Status: offline

I think also, some 'kids' envision the porn star scene, and may even think it cool to be 'kept' with no life responsibilities. Almost like prison, but without the record. *shrugs* I think if they actually go through with it, one time will be all it takes and they might think differently. Then again, a small percentage may actually enjoy it, in which case both parties are happy.

(in reply to Redhusky)

Post #: 18

RE: Unrealistic and unsafe fantasies of subs / slaves? - 3/9/2015 10:38:04 AM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

I posted this on a thread before. A very affluent doctor felt incomplete all his life because he dreamed of having his leg amputated. He tried on numerous occasions and failed and doctors could not fix him. His wife of umpteen years granted his wish and he was the happiest he had been his entire life. If you're outside of a dynamic or even someone's mind there's no real rationalizing WIITTD, you simply have to respect you don't have an inkling of a clue and they don't need your protection and move on.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to Redhusky)

Post #: 19

RE: Unrealistic and unsafe fantasies of subs / slaves? - 3/9/2015 3:46:01 PM

Charles6682

Posts: 1820
Joined: 10/1/2007
From: Saint Pete,FL
Status: offline

There is a difference between fantasy and reality. Anything that could cause permanent harm, I avoid. Fantasies are an outlet to think about different ideas. I always thought being dominated by 3 hot Ladies for hours on end would be a dream come true for me. And it did happen. I realized then that I should becareful for what I wish for, because it might just come true. I was dominated all right by 3 hot Women. 3 very sadistic Women at that. The pain was almost unbearable but that did not stop Them. I made that agreement with them that could do with me as They wished and They did. More than I could handle. I am very cautious now about what I am willing to get involved with. There is a fine line between fantasy and reality and sometimes, I would rather not cross that line.

_____________________________

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(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 20

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